"There's Clarence and Sheryl dancing", said Jed. "There's us playing the bowling machine last night", Frank said as it showed the coyotes playing the bowling arcade. "I didn't think they'd get that teenage raccoon who Roger got after about the soda on the pinball machine", said Marge. "But there he is". "There's the other dancers on the dance floor", said Dotty. "There's Jane Fox on her roller skates", Rex said when it showed the curb service area under the drive in canopy. "And I see Beth. There she is", said Jed. After the documentary segment was done, Frank offered, "You want to stay for breakfast?". Al and Marge accepted the offer... After all, it was always a common occasion for the couples to invite each other over for a mealtime. The rest of that day and the next day for the coyotes were to have a couple of things out of the ordinary: Plans were made to take the cubs shopping for school clothes the next day. The 1960 - 1961 school year was to begin within four weeks. And, this was to be the day that Al orders a go kart for the cubs at a Western Auto Store in Albuquerque after he gets off from work that day. It was to be prepaid so it can arrive by train at the Southern Pacific Railroad freight station there in Duran. That was something the cubs were thrilled to hear. A go kart like the one Ryan Lynx has.
Though, Rex mentioned that he still wouldn't mind also having a minibike like the Tote Gote that Rufus and Laura Opossum's cubs have.
But as Al and Marge made it clear to the cubs... Two wheels is okay for a bicycle. But if it's powered by a motor, it's to have four wheels.
______________________________ Later that same morning, on the other side of Torrance County in Moriarity, at the residence of Reginald and Diana Pitbull, their two teenage sons, Biff and Richie had a project going on in the garage. "Oh sheesh", Biff's girl friend, Sandra, exclaimed. "No wonder it's a good thing you boys came by to get me and Aiva this morning". "Yeah. You guys can't sew worth a hill of shit", Richie's girl friend, Aiva, said as she and Sandra laughed. "Yea, well...At least we tried", Biff exclaimed as he held up the failed attempt at sewing together the paws and head for a dummy they were making. "We sure did try, but it turned out like shit", Richie added. "Perfectly good waste of that blanket we nabbed off someone's clothsline yesterday", Biff remarked. "There's still plenty enough material left to this blanket though", Sandra assured the boys as she cut out some of it to sew the head and face for the dummy. "You boys did a good job on the dummy's skeleton anyway", Aiva said, referring to the stick frame made from 2x4 lumber Daddy Pitbull had stored in the garage. "We're hip with how that turned out", Biff acknowledged. "And you can pose it too. Lookie here", Richie said as he moved some of the limbs on the life size dummy frame to demonstrate it. "Oh cool", Sandra replied, then asked Aiva, "How ya comin' along with the paws". "So far, so good", Aiva said. "Those turned out pretty damn good", Biff complimented to Aiva. "If you want a sewing job done right, get us girls to do it", Sandra remarked. "I can hardly wait for Gaston and Roxane to see it", Richie said. "Oh, they'll get a kick out of it, I'm sure", Sandra replied. Sandra then asked Biff, "What are we going to do for stuffing?" "We already got it", Biff proudly announced as he walked up to their '59 Cadillac that was backed to the garage. "Yea, we found a pile of all this shit behind a warehouse on our way to pick you girls up this morning", Richie said as Biff opened the trunk. "Excelsior!", Aiva exclaimed. Biff and Richie had packed the trunk of that '59 Cadillac jam full of excelsior wood shavings earlier that morning. "That packing material will make great stuffing", Sandra proclaimed. "But you didn't need that much of it". "Maybe we can use what's left over to set the school on fire this year", Richie jested. "That shit burns like fucken crazy too", Biff affirmed. "I take it you still got the jeans and long sleeve shirt I told you to nab", Sandra said to Biff. "They're still on the back seat", Biff replied. "But this is August", Richie mentioned, then asked Sandra, "Why make it with a long sleeve shirt?" "So we don't have to sew the arms for it, Silly", Sandra replied. "The long shirt sleeves are already the arms". "Makes sense", Biff agreed. About that time, from in the house, Daddy Reginald could be heard saying to Mama Diana, "I gotta run. There's a couple of construction jobs I need to check on". Diana replied, "Okay. Bring me back some cottage cheese and a TV guide when you get back". "Okay", Reginald acknowledged just before he stepped into the garage on his way to his Chevy El Camino. As Reginald Pitbull entered the garage, he asked Biff and Richie, "Whatcha making, Boys?" "A dummy", Richie answered. "Yea, like some of those building inspectors I know", Reginald remarked as Biff, Richie, Sandra and Aiva laughed. Reginald then noticed it was some of his lumber that biff and Richie used to make the frame for the dummy. "Okay look, Boys, "Reginald addressed his sons. "If you have to steal lumber for something like this, how about stealing it from someone else, okay. Don't be stealing mine". "Okay, Dad", Biff replied. "That's not one of your mother's blankets I take it", Reginald mentioned. "We snagged it off of someone's line", Sandra said as she was working on the dummy head. "That's good", Reginald affirmed, then complimented Sandra, "You do good work with that". "Oh thank you", Sandra replied. These are the dummy's paws", Aiva said as she showed them to Reginald. "Looking good", Reginald complimented. "Maybe you all can make a dummy for me", Reginald said. "I'd like to stick a one out in front of that zoning flunkie's house in Los Lunas one night with a sign that says a dummy lives here". "I know which one you're talking about, Dad", Biff said. "He's a real ass hole". "Yea, a fucken jerk", Richie added. "If he's that kind of a ditz, we'll gladly consider it", Sandra said. "We'll have to snag some wood for a frame", Richie mentioned. "Aw Hell. If it's one for me, I'll let you use some of my lumber for that", Reginald assured Biff and Richie. "Will do", Biff replied. "Well, gotta run for now", Reginald said. "Been fun talking with you all". On Reginald's way out of the garage, he noticed the trunk of the '59 Cadillac stuffed full of excelsior. "Whoah hold on there, Boys", Reginald retorted. "I want this stuff out of the trunk of this car". "We were just hauling it here for the dummy", Biff replied. "Which dummy?", Reginal asked. "We're only working on one", Richie answered. "I don't think that's what Dad meant, Richie", Biff said. "Okay look. I realize you boys had a need to haul it here", Reginald explained to Biff. "But one spark on that stuff will send that car up in a blaze of glory. And don't forget that car belongs to me, even though I let you use it". "We'll get it out of there, Dad", Biff assured. "Yes. Do", Reginald replied. Reginald then went out to his '59 El Camino and took off to check on how two of his construction jobs were coming along. There was also the cottage cheese and TV guide to bring back to his wife, Diana. Diana had the 1960 Cadillac she could have made that errand in, but her favorite soap operas were airing at the time. Biff, Richie, Sandra and Aiva worked on the dummy for the rest of the morning and into the afternoon, and finally getting it completed just before 2:00 in the afternoon. Then for the eyes, nose and mouth, that was painted on with one of the dark house trim paints Reginald keeps around. The tail was made from the head of a mop. And for the feet, the girls sewed on an old pair of sneakers Biff no longer uses. "No wonder Biff doesn't wear these sneakers any more. They smell like ...victory", Aiva remarked as everyone laughed. "Well, we got it", Sandra proclaimed as the sneakers were finally sewed onto the legs of the jeans. "I bet it looks almost real from a distance", Biff surmised. "Will the real dummy please stand up", Richie jested as everyone laughed. "We'll have some fun with Mr. Dummy", Aiva said. "We'll take it out for a test run after we get some lunch", said Biff. "Yea, I'm starved. It's 2:00 and we haven't had a thing to eat all day", Richie said. Biff and Richie then invited Sandra and Aiva to have a late lunch with them at their mom and dad's place. "We got stuff to make some sandwiches", Biff said to the girls. "And our mom has some really good potato salad", Richie added. On the way through the living room, Diana greeted Sandra and Aiva. As the teens entered the dining room, Diana called out from where she was watching her TV soap operas, "If you make a mess in the kitchen, clean it up, because I won't". What Diana meant by that was, "You better not leave a mess in my kitchen". As the teens began preparing lunch, they heard Gaston and his girl friend, Roxane, out in the garage laughing. "We're in the kitchen", Richie called out from the kitchen to Gaston and Roxane. "I'm trying to listen to my soaps, Richie", Mama Diana called out from the living room. "Ya mind?". "Oh sorry, Mom", Richie replied. As Gaston and Roxane made their way through the living room to the kitchen, Diana mentioned to them, "Like I told the others, don't leave a mess in my kitchen". "Okay. We won't", Roxane assured Diana. "That dummy turned out funnier than I thought it would", Gaston said upon entering the dining room. "We were checking it out just now", said Roxane. "It's a real lulu". "We just did finish it a short while ago", said Sandra. "There's some stuff to make some sandwiches", Richie offered Gaston and Roxane. "Me and Gaston already had lunch at the Shake-n-Grill before we walked over here", Roxane replied. "Hey, and it's nice having some moolah for once too", Gaston proclaimed. "Yea, $70 for each one of us ain't too shabby", Richie replied. $70 in 1960 was like $700 in the 21st Century. "Pays off better than those penny Annie gumball machines", Biff added. "And that still leaves us $27 and change for our whiskey and cigarette fund". After lunch, the teens did a quick clean up of the kitchen, then it was time to go test the dummy. Just before they were about to leave, Diana said to Biff, "Get me a beer from the fridge before you go". Upon opening the refrigerator door, Biff reported back, "We're out of beer". "Well then, make a quick run to the Cash and Carry and pick up a case of Schlitz. Just tell them you're 21", said Diana. "And get it from the cooler, not from the shelf". "Need a few bucks", Biff mentioned. "You got all that money", Diana replied. "Yea, Mom. But that's our money", Biff retorted. "I think I know where you all got that money. And silence costs", Diana put it bluntly. "Okay, Mom. You win. I'll pay for the beer", Biff agreed. "Want to come along?", Biff asked the others. "Hey, why not?", Gaston replied as the others tagged along. After Biff closed the trunk lid on the full load of left over excelsior, everyone got in the car, then Biff cranked up the motor. "You're mom really knows the art of blackmail", Roxane said to Biff as they pulled out of the driveway. "When Mama's not happy, she lets you know it", Richie interjected. "She's always pulled that since we were cubs", Biff added. At the Cash and Carry, while Biff was purchasing the case of Schlitz, the others shoplifted some candy bars...They had plenty of that laundromat money to pay for those candy bars, but shoplifted them anyway. With the case of cold Schlitz, and pockets full of stolen candy bars, Biff and the others returned to the house. They also had a good supply of "free" goodies to enjoy along the way. After arriving back at the house, Diana instructed Biff to give her a beer, then put the rest of the case in the refrigerator. Once Mama was happy, it was now time to test the dummy. The pit bull teens placed the wood framed, excelsior stuffed dummy on the back seat of the Cadillac, then got in and took off. As they began cruising along, the back seat of that Cadillac was now seating four counting the dummy... the actual dummy that is. "It's a little cramped with Dumb-dumb riding back here with us", Roxane remarked as everyone laughed. "We'd have more room if he sat on your lap", Gaston replied as everyone busted out in another round of laughter. "Oh for real. Gimme a break", Roxane laughed. As they rode north on Route 41, about to cross Route 66, Richie commented, "This is gonna be funny as all shit". With what the pit bull delinquent teens had in mind, a rural stretch of highway was the perfect place to "test the dummy". They then left Moriarty, headed north along Highway 41. Along the way, Biff said, "We gotta get rid of this left over excelsior". There were no cars seen approaching in either direction for miles. So Biff stopped the Cadillac there in the highway and popped the trunk release. Everyone then got out and pitched in pulling the excelsior out of the trunk and piling it on the highway. "That's that", Biff said as everyone was getting back into the car. "One more thing", Richie said as he pulled a Zippo lighter out his pants pocket and lit the huge pile of excelsior, then quickly dashed back into the car. "Everyone laughed as Biff put that '59 Cadillac in drive, punched the gas of that 325 horse power engine, and smoked the rear tires speeding out of there. As soon as they got speeding along at 90 mph, that huge pile of excelsior quickly became a huge inferno in the middle of the northbound lane of Highway 41. "Look at that son of a bitch go!", Biff laughed as he glanced at it in the rear view mirror. "Dang! It's a doozie!", Sandra laughed as she turned and saw it from the back window. "When that shit burns, that shit really burns", Gaston laughed as he took a look back at it. "I bet somebody's gonna think a flyin' saucer crashed", Richie laughed. "No. A weather balloon", Roxane replied as everyone laughed. And wouldn't you know it?...It was coincidence that the radio station the car's radio was tuned to began playing Settin' the Woods on Fire. Everyone let out another round of laughter over the timing of that song.
Fortunately, being it was New Mexico desert land, the fire didn't spread far from the highway as there wasn't enough scrub and brush to carry a fire any distance. And being excelsior, it didn't take long to burn itself out. Eventually, they rode past the Flying A gas station they had stole gas from two nights ago.
"Several more miles down the road, and we put the dummy to the test", Biff said. "It's gonna be fucken hilarious", Gaston replied. Sure enough, several miles past the Flying A station, Biff stopped the car. Once the car was stopped, Biff got out to let Gaston and Aiva out being the Cadillac was a 2 door car. "Outcha go, Dummy", Gaston said as he pulled the dummy out of the car. "Remember. Off the side of the road, not on the road", Sandra reminded Gaston. Everyone laughed as Gaston placed the dummy face down on the shoulder of the highway. After everyone got back in, Biff said, "We drive up a mile and we wait". "This is gonna be good", Richie said as they pulled away. Once they rode a mile beyond where Gaston planted the dummy, Biff turned the Cadillac around. Now it was wait and watch, and they didn't have to wait long. "I think I see one", Sandra said as a car can be seen approaching from the south a few miles away. "Yea, it's a car coming", Biff affirmed as they sat parked on the side of Highway 41. A couple of minutes later, Richie said, "It should be any time now". And sure enough, about a mile away they could tell that the car was stopping. Everyone busted out laughing as they notice the car make a U turn, go back a short distance, then the brake lights coming on. "They're falling for it", Roxane laughed as the car a mile away then took of speeding back the other way. "They're rushing back to that gas station to phone for help!", Biff laughed as he cranked up the Cadillac, and began to speed the one mile back to retreive the dummy. They were like laughing their asses off when biff stopped the Cadillac beside where the dummy laid along side the highway. Richie hopped out to let Roxane out to snatch up the dummy. As Roxane hastily placed the dummy on Aiva's lap, Aiva jested, "Ooo, Dummy, you perv". "He probably wants a lap dance", Richie remarked as everyone laughed. Once Roxane and Richie were back in the Cadillac, Biff made a U turn and headed back north. "I wonder how those dweebs are gonna explain making a call all for nothin' to the cops!", Richie laughed as they were back to speeding along at 90 mph. "That's their problem!", Biff replied in laughter. "I'm sure they'll shit their pants blowin' a fuse over it!", Sandra laughed. After about five minutes of speeding northbound, Richie exclaimed, "Hey, Look! A cop way down the road!" A flashing red light could be seen way down the highway. After a minute or so, a 1959 Ford, New Mexico State Police car met them doing about 130 mph with the red light flashing and the siren blaring. "Holy fucken shit! This is so hilarious!", Gaston laughed. "There's another one!", Richie laughed as a 2nd state trooper car, a 1960 Ford, met them also doing 130 mph. "Hey Officer! I want to report an invisible animal got hit by a car! Duhhhh!", Aiva laughed as an ambulance now came into sight. "A damn fucken ambulance! This is funny as shit!", Roxane laughed. As the ambulance met them doing 100 mph with lights flashing and siren blaring, Biff laughed, "Those dorks in the meat wagon don't even know he's here in our car!" "This gag is the biggest gas yet!", Sandra laughed. "I bet that ditz who called it in goes to fucken jail!", Gaston proclaimed as that got a real hardy laugh from everyone. "Oh well", Sandra replied in laughter. "That's life". "We gotta find a few more spots to pull this shit again today", Biff laughed. And sure enough, once they got to Santa Fe, they headed south on Highway 285 toward Clines Corners, and pulled the very same stunt along a couple of places on 285. Biff, Richie and friends really had themselves a blast that afternoon. Then they headed on back to the Albuquerque and Moriarty area to call it a day. "We'll put ole dummy up for the grand finally tomorrow", Biff said on the way back home. "It will be the end of him for sure", Richie mentioned. "Yea, but it's going to be a good one", Biff assured.
The delinquent pit bull teenagers make a dummy and the mischief begins.
There are some music links of the songs the characters in the story listened to. The music links are linked from multiple sources because of Youtube constantly killing music videos. So if you get the Youtube notice shown below when you click onto a link, the other links listed with it will be the same song.