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" | "Hello. This is Ashton Lynx reporting. And we have a breaking news story for you this evening. At 4:17 this afternoon, a northbound Southern Pacific passenger train was delayed five miles south Pastura because of someone propping up a life size dummy on the tracks... Yes, you heard it right. A life size dummy". |
" | "Here we bring you an aerial view taken an hour ago from our Channel 8 news helicopter. We were told that because the dummy was partially comprised of wooden parts, Southern Pacific officials could not permit the train to continue further until inspectors could verify no damage was done to the locomotive that would impair safe operation of the train". |
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Ashton Lynx: "Our news anchor, Casey Ocelot, was able to get an interview with the train's chief engineer, Theodore Raccoon". Casey Ocelot on recorded footage: "Theodore, what was your experience in all of this?" Theodore Raccoon: "Well. We were going along at 80 mph when my assistant Milo and I saw what we perceived to be someone standing on the tracks up ahead. I gave a long blast on the horn. Milo then said to me, 'Theodore, I don't think he's going to move out of the way'. That's when I fully applied the brakes for emergency stop as Milo continued sounding the horn. And then I said, 'oh my God, Milo. We done hit someone'... You know, you can't stop a train on a dime. It's steel wheels on steel rails". Casey Ocelot: "Thinking that must have been a gut wrenching feeling, I'm sure". Theodore Raccoon: "It always is to operators of a train that hits someone. But we were sure relieved to find out it was only a dummy". Assistant engineer Milo Aardwolf stepping forward: "Who ever done this, it was down right foolishness. These trains out here weighing hundreds of tons aren't anything to play around with. Seeing what's left to that dummy will tell you that". Casey Ocelot: "Oh absolutely. I see pieces of that dummy, and it's pretty well disintegrated". Ashton Lynx when the news room scene again aired: "It should also be mentioned that the train engineers, as well as several passengers aboard the train, said they witnessed a gold and white 1959 Cadillac parked along an adjacent highway, which suddenly sped away when this incident happened". |
" | "The good side to all this is, we here at KSWS Channel 8 can be happy to announce that no one was hurt as a result of this charade. And the train checked out to be okay and is now continuing on it's way this evening. Also, Southern Pacific Railroad has announced they are offering a $300 reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of those responsible for what happened today". |
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Newlyweds Jenni and Eric Weasel move into Eric's palatial country home. Jenni is Eric's second wife; his first wife Marion Weasel died when she accidentally slipped and hit her head on the edge of a decorative pond on the estate. At the home they meet Eric's friends, the Reverend Bill Snow Fox and his wife, as well as Mickey Beaver, the developmentally disabled gardener. Eric Weasel privately mentions to the Snow Foxes that Jenni spent time in an asylum following the sudden death of both her parents, and Mrs. Snow Fox reveals that Jenni Weasel is very wealthy. Jenni is disturbed both by Mickey Beaver's belief that Marion's ghost wanders the estate and by Marion's self-portrait inside the house, which Jenni believes resembles her mother. When she begins to hear unexplained screaming noises and see skulls around her house, she believes that Marion is haunting her. Though Eric speculates to Jenni that Mickey, who was a childhood friend of Marion and thus dislikes Jenni, may be behind the trickery, Jenni worries that she is going insane. Eric suggests to remove Marion's self-portrait from the home. Eric and Jenni take the painting outside and burn it, later uncovering a skull from the ashes. Jenni panics at the sight of the skull, but Eric denies that the skull is there. Jenni faints and Eric withdraws the skull and hides it, revealing that he has been gaslighting her all along. Believing she has finally lost her sanity, Jenni resolves to be committed. She tells Eric that the entire property will be meticulously searched for the skull as a last resort. Mickey secretly steals the skull and brings it to Reverend Snow Fox before Eric can retrieve it. That night, Eric prepares to murder Jenni and stage it as a suicide. Jenni sees Marion's ghost in Mickey's greenhouse and flees back to the house, where Eric begins throttling her. The ghost appears and chases Eric Weasel outside, corners and attacks him, drowning him in the decorative pond. After Jenni regains consciousness, the Snow Foxes arrive. Mrs. Snow Fox comforts a hysterical Jenni Weasel and the Reverend discovers Eric's body in the pond. Some undisclosed time later, Jenni and the Snow Foxes depart from the house. Reverend Snow Fox declares whether or not Marion Weasel's death was an accident will remain a mystery. The film ends with the gardener drinking from the pond and saying, "They've left. Rest in peace." a vision of a female weasel's face appears in the pond. |