Whoever you are, if you’re not familiar with me, I beg that you PLEASE read this information before leaving any comment, message or contacting me in any way, it is REALLY important to me. Further information will be provided in specific journals if you are curious and want to understand it better, but here I’ll provide all that one needs to know:
[To the Mods and others, I swear I tried not to be lewd in these journals, but it’s hard to talk about myself without making mentions to erotic things, notify me if I should change that and I’ll gladly do so.] [In respect to the IB Philosophy and so on, I don’t think this violates any of it if my interpretation is correct. I understand that I cannot make other people responsible for what I see, but since I don’t go looking for things, the only way for me to see things I don’t want to is if they are brought to me. In these journals I don’t intend to police anyone’s behaviors, but instead I just want to make people aware of what may or may not upset me, in order to avoid misunderstandings and so on.]
Firstly, if you think you recognize my art or themes you may be right. I’m not new to the fandom or to any of this, as it has been 10 years since I first joined publicly, and I’ve gone by many names and faces before, inside and outside the furry fandom. I used to care a lot about keeping my identities separate and secret, but I feel ready to let them merge now and not hide anything anymore. To see who I’ve been in the past, click here , and while I want to shed all those secrets, I’m too embarrassed about some things due to behavior I really cringe about like when I would rage on Overwatch. If you want to know more about who I am now, or who was the person behind all those masks, feel free to read this . That also clarifies things I’m okay with or things that I expect from this experience, such as if it’s okay to post my art in boorus and what not (it is, but go there to know more).
I have done a lot of things I regret, and to all the people I’ve hurt or upset, I’m really sorry, I know I’ve been really vicious . If we used to be friends and you’d like to rekindle the friendship, I’m sorry but I now have a strict no-friends policy. I want to live with no one by my side except a very special someone . I just noticed that I’m very bad at having friends and I’m always happier when I isolate myself. Obviously, I still seek to be absolutely friendly with everyone here, but I don’t want any proximity anymore. Liking me as an artist is fine, but if you like me as a person, please don’t show it, and don’t expect me to concern myself with what is in your heart. More info . I’m not sure how this is going to work, I wish I could remain offline, but I needed to return, so we will see. Maybe it will change with time, but don’t hold your breath. 31/12/2021 update: Things did change a bit, but that is probably due to me breaking my own rules. I don’t want to say I made a new friend, that wouldn’t be correct, I just have a… volunteer… who is just providing me some social attention. I guess it’s unfair for other people but they kinda earned it, they’re free to go away at any time and haven’t done so despite the times I was being very negative. Now I did allow an old friendship to refresh itself, but I really trust that one. This could mean things are improving, but I’d say I’m just being dumb and so far I’ve been lucky. This will have negative consequences, no doubt.
Now, reading all this might give you the idea that I’d rather not be here, and in part that is true, but I actually missed being in the fandom a bit and I NEED to be here. I’ve noticed that I would have a hard time with any realistic source of income, and I just think this is the best option. This is my calling, and I’ve been advised that if you ever encounter an opportunity to make a living off of something you love doing, do not waste it. I plan on opening commissions and a Donations by the end of 2021, but I still need to sort a lot of things out. Further info here and here . Again, maybe being back with a fresh mindset will change me for the better, and I might actually enjoy being what I was always meant to be. 31/12/2021 update: Good news and bad news. Bad news is that the “I actually missed being in the fandom” faded away, it spawned from me seeing the fandom again, from the outside, but right now I don’t miss it anymore, which makes this just a bit harder. I’m sure I can manage, though. And good news… kinda… Got a bank account, so I’m more ready for the whole money situation now. Still a bit late (sorry).
I’m a lewd artist who likes making everything pretty sexual, explicit and shamelessly erotic. I truly love horny stuff, and I try to make everything I create mature or sexual in some way. A fair warning is that I like A LOT of different things, very weird things and a lot of gross or unappealing things. My content can swing from extreme to extreme, or go from being completely tame and vanilla to something very weird, bizarre or absurd in a short time. If you are curious, more specific details on what I enjoy doing can be found here . Do not expect a lot of rule34 from me, though. I don’t have anything against it in particular, but I was never really big on it, and now I’m trying to adopt a code of courtesy in regards to it, and I wouldn’t want to draw a character in situations the owner/creator wouldn’t approve of. More explanations here . 31/12/2021 update: God damnit, I was supposed to make sure my “full power” was visible by now. It isn’t. The stuff in my gallery up to my hiatus is tame compared to some of the stuff I was GOING to post (still will, but it will take a while because I want them finished).
That said, I understand that a lot of people might feel disturbed or revolted by some of the things that I do, or wish not to see it. I understand and sympathize with this feeling, which is why I try to tag my stuff as much as possible and as well as I can manage, to make sure people’s blacklists can work flawlessly. I would employ the system of censoring thumbnails, but since it’s not required by rules, I’m going to just rely on the tagging. While I actually do see some validity to the practice of censoring thumbnails, it can make it a bit annoying to eyeball specific pieces and it’s some pesky extra work that I honestly don’t want to put up with, especially since it would disrupt the file management workflow on my end. If people get too upset I’ll put in the effort to censor thumbnails, but for now, please understand that I focus on my polished tag system. More info on all of these here . 31/12/2021 update: So much for that polished tag system. I should have done that BEFORE returning to the fandom, which yeah… big oof. Hopefully I will have done it before I start posting again. I guess it’s not THAT bad since I haven’t posted most of the stuff I judge to be more on the extreme side anyway. 15/01/2022 update: Moderation has given me some tips on how to handle things and I decided to actually let go of that system, after working on it a bit. I’m still making it available in the journal, in its incomplete state, but I’m probably not going to use it, and instead just use the normal tags that everyone uses, instead of both that and my system. More details here .
In regards to what I like and what I don’t, here is a VERY IMPORTANT point to make: Because I make all of this weird stuff, and because I like a lot of extreme or bizarre fetishes, one would expect me to have a strong filter or high tolerance to things. This is NOT true. I get easily upset over things that I don’t like and they can easily ruin my day, my week, my month, or even haunt me years afterwards. Please be very mindful of that while interacting with me, I really don’t want this experience to be negative for me, I don’t want to dread logging in or seeing new messages. I can be EASILY disturbed and upset not only by fetish content, but by any sort of content (be it real or fiction) that involves suffering, negative emotions, truly evil cruelty, grimdark themes or bad fates. It’s very complicated to explain exactly what counts as that, but hopefully I have elaborated well enough in this , so please check that if you’re unsure.
If you are into the things I dislike and they really please you, I beg you to not mention that in regards to what I make. I struggle a lot with moving as far away from those concepts as I can, while still trying to hold on to what I like, and it’s VERY hard for me. This has hurt me a lot in the past and still causes me a great deal of unhappiness. I know sometimes we get this desire to pull others into our fetishes because they please and excite us so much, but keep in mind that if one of my works inspired you to have an alternate idea that falls under what I’m afraid of, mentioning that is an almost assured way to ruin my original idea for me. You would cause exactly what I try so hard to avoid. My relationship with these things that scare and concern me is very complicated, as well as the relationship with the people who like them. I’ve suffered a lot because of it and I’ve been really mean due to this as well. More details here .
Because of how I can easily have my week ruined by a slight glimpse of a stray thumbnail (censored or not), I have completely given up on browsing or searching for ANY works from other artists, and that even extends to SFW artists. In the past I’ve had people try to bargain with me in regards to X or Y artist being perfectly harmless to me, but this will not work anymore because of a very unforgiving dilemma: If I see something bad, then it is bad and that is bad, obviously. But if I see something good, then that is also bad, because it will tempt me and make me crave more, increasing my susceptibility to encountering something truly bad. More reasoning behind this here . 31/12/2021 update: Good news… well, for me, at least. It has been several months now, several months without going anywhere near other people’s yiff… And I actually like this. It still doesn’t erase the memories in my head, but I’m sure I avoided a lot of further torments, and I don’t really miss it, I guess I’m actually ready to let go.
I have browsed and even saved art before, even very recently. Even this very year I’ve been doing some intense art download from artists that I already knew and that represented something really important to me, as their creations became an important part of me, whether I liked that nor not. This is part of my archivist nature, and even though I intend on never looking at their art ever again, I just had to get it. There is a long story in regards to that, and it can be read here , but the important thing to take is that this journey was the last dive into other people and things are different now. I was already mostly familiar with them, so it was okay, but I truly never want to know about any artist that I didn’t know before.
Since I truly wish to never see the works of any other artists ever again , this brings obvious implications for some common interactions in the fandom. Art trades and gifts are obviously out of the question, since you would not be able to show me what you’ve made for me. I’m not going to check it, so please refrain from trying to gift me things. It would not upset me too much that you’ve drawn my characters or anything, but if you genuinely intend on making me happy with that, then it will result in a very awkward situation that will make us both uncomfortable. Clarifications here . I still worry about people drawing my characters, however, but because I think that can actually be helpful to me, I will not discourage people from doing it, I just beg you to please never let me know. More info on how I feel about collabs, gifts, fanart and so on here .
Another very important request that I have for anyone interacting with me or leaving comments on my pages/submissions is to PLEASE NEVER speak the name of other artists, commissioners or users. This includes artists that are completely outside of the fandom like producers of popular shows, anime, cartoons or what have you. I will also try my best to NEVER namedrop anything relevant in this fandom, and if it happens, call me out because I would have betrayed my ideals. I also ask that you do not try to circumvent it or to triangulate it like we’re playing 20 questions. We’re not. It’s important for me to have this restriction and here is why . Let’s just pretend to be absolutely clueless even about extremely popular artists. Who is that? Never heard of that person in my life and I have no idea what you’re talking about. Of course some influences in my art can be quite obvious, PLEASE DO NOT POINT IT OUT. I’m not trying to hide it, we all know, okay? No need to say it, even if you are that artist. The same goes for entire franchises, though those are way harder to hide, so I might mention some but please don’t introduce me to new names. If it’s something I’ve mentioned before, you can repeat it, otherwise, assume I shouldn’t know about it. These franchises and shows are technically art, so same rules for why I don’t browse apply .
If you dislike things I create, know that it is not at all my intention to shock, disturb or upset anyone with my art, if you GENUINELY believe that what I create is wrong, I’m open to a SERIOUS conversation in private about it. I still have a lot of problems accepting some things out there and suffer a lot for it, so I’m not going to tell anyone to “just deal with it” or “just ignore it” or that “it’s a you problem” and things like that. We can discuss it and try to reach an agreement. Maybe I can show you it’s not that bad, or you can show me that it is wrong and I’ll try to change my ways. I’ve changed before, and I really wish I got kinkshamed instead of encouraged in a certain situation a long time ago. It would have prevented me from doing a lot of things I regret. I don’t care if anyone is being rude to me, if you feel like I need to have boundaries set, call me out, it’s better like that. More on this here . That said, I’m still not ready to discuss the other way around, if someone wants to convince ME that things I dislike are good. Maybe one day, but not yet. For things I dislike you can check this .
I hate that feeling of social obligation that we get when we think we have to reply to others, comment on their stuff or favorite their submissions. If you ever catch yourself feeling a bit uncomfortable because of this internal obligation to comment, reply or favorite, know that I 100% support not doing it. Don’t try to force comments or replies out like I used to so long ago, and don’t feel forced to fav everything. This of course also applies to me, though a bit differently since I refuse to have contact with artwork from other people, but it basically means you shouldn’t expect me to reply to every comment, or to thank people for their kind words, for faving my stuff or for watching me. More in regards to this .
And finally, I’d like to provide some extra background on myself, what I do and how I operate, since I probably won’t get intimate enough with anyone to bring this up: Again, for who I am, you can go here .
I do not have anything diagnosed, but it is likely that I’m in the autism spectrum. Those stupid online tests always say I might be, and while I don’t know if they can be trusted, I do seem to match the description. I also have some other self-diagnosed thingies and they’re elaborated somewhere here .
I’m trying really hard to improve my work ethics and be more diligent with how I go about things. It’s still very hard and I constantly fear that I’m not being enough or doing enough. I’m still very unsatisfied with my ability to push myself and to make myself work, even if I actually improved a lot so far, more on that here .
I have a lot of drawings and creations from the past, which I may or may not have posted here already. I value and treasure my past a lot, and while I never intended to share a lot of it, or planned to, I’ve been considering it lately, so I might have by now. I’ll try to always point out when something is from the past, and not current, but either way, the time and date are always in the drawing somewhere, as that is very important to me, so all drawings will have very accurate dating in them anyway. Here is more on that .
Surprisingly enough, erotic drawings and stories aren’t my only interests, and sometimes I may focus on those, which would lower my production of erotic content a bit. I don’t have a lot of other hobbies, but I do enjoy a lot of science stuff, as well as creating systems and watching them work. Because of that, I may eventually talk about very dry science stuff, or engage in the creation of things like conlangs or programming games and simulations, which I’ve been trying to get into for a long time. More info here if you’re curious.
Lastly, I had A LOT of projects I really wanted to complete before I returned to the fandom, so that I could come back all neat and organized, with impressive things to show, but the combination of returning 6 months earlier and not progressing as much as I wanted made me fail on that. I intend to continue working on these projects as I’m posting and living here, since they’re very important to me. Other than gamedev projects and conlang projects, these include things like a booru-like file browswer , my compendium of fetishes , a bestiary of my species bestiary of my species , and most importantly, the lore background on my main characters and sonas .
Thank you for the attention, as it is really important to me. I know it’s a lot to read, but only dive deeper if you’re truly interested and curious about it. As long as you follow the rules in the front page, it should avoid any grievances. Again, those are:
•Don’t expose me to content related to suffering, agony or very grimdark/bleak things. If anyone is dying, crying or wants others to, then keep in mind that it will ruin my week. •Never tell me that you have drawn my characters, got someone to draw my characters or that someone else is doing it. If it happens I don’t want to know. •Don’t try to show me things, to send me links or get me to check things out. Don’t tell me about things I don’t know. •Don’t tell me about artists I don’t know about, or any other source of fiction like franchises, games, movies, series, anime, cartoons, webcomics or what have you. Don’t mention names, don’t speak in code. Just pretend you are ignorant of everything. •Don’t try to figure out the things I know or the artists I know, don’t point out the influences in my artstyle, interests, themes or ideas. •Don’t get too close to me emotionally, don’t try to be my friend, don’t expect me to provide any personal or emotional support.
As a final note, keep in mind that I’m revealing a lot about myself in this little Wikipedia or whatever, so be mindful of that if you don’t want too much information. Now why would I reveal so much about myself when I used to be so cryptic? Info here .