While the Commanders are my division rivals, my friend YourLocalNoob lives near Washington and is a big fan of the team, so I decided to pay a visit to Northwest Stadium just to humor him. So I got dressed in one of their jerseys and trotted onto the field, with the pigskin under my arm. But as I ran down the field, I felt changes happening to my body. I kept running, trying to ignore the strange sensations, but they soon overpowered me, as a porcine face burst through my face guard, large ears broke through my hard plastic helmet, and my stomach bloated, shredding my new jersey! And as the stadium lights bore down on me, I noticed my reality changing...on one side was a stadium with grass, lights, and bleacher-style seating, but on the other was a farm with a dirty, fenced-in pigsty! Finally, when my hands turned to hooves, busting my gloves, I dropped the now-ancient-looking pigskin in the mud, and tripped over my cleats as they too fell victim to my feet changing into another pair of hooves! To complete the transformation, a spiral tail pushed its way out the back of my pants! As my reality solidified to a patch of brown, sticky mud, I oinked nervously, wondering how I'd get out of this and find my way back home...
BinturongBoss!
