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IceAgeChippies
IceAgeChippies' Scraps (35)

Mortality Measured in Pencils

QUICKIE: The Great Pumpkin (Kinda)
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I've been thinking about pencils lately, as well as contemplating my mortality (because that's what I do).
Generally, most of my experiences, occupations/interests, etc., in my life last around ten years. I'll not make any lists here, but suffice it to say most of the aforementioned average about ten years in existence/relevance.

I've been drawing and uploading regularly here and elseplace around six years now (my oldest ACOs date to roughly the end of 2014). If art/drawing is among those many things that end or fizzle out at the ten-year mark, I've not much time left before I either lose interest or something external to my control forces me to quit.

On FurAffinity, I have (at time of writing) 556 uploads. FA is the most accurate as most of my ACOs aren't on IB as single uploads and DA doesn't count scrapped stuff (I also have very few photos on FA, so my gallery's almost all drawings).
Effectively all of the 556 uploads were drawn within a period of six years. If my math's right, that just over 90 uploads a year ...and if I've another four years to go, I have about 360 uploads left in me. In the end, I'd have just over 900 uploads when all's said and done.

How many pencils would it take to make a combination of quickies, comics and ACOs to equal 360 uploads?

About 25, or one pencil more than two packs worth of.

I have hundreds of pencils. I know even if I live a full life, I'll not live long enough to use them all. Additionally, I ask myself if I'd even want to.

Let's say God promised I'd not die until I'd used all my pencils to make art. I couldn't cheat by over-sharpening, or adding pencils---just fairly and naturally, going through every one at my usual 2020 pace/output (my pencil collection would yield roughly 12,000 uploads).

I really dunno what my answer would be.

Keywords
male 1,201,951, cub 280,546, cat 215,493, feline 152,480, boy 80,856, oc 80,075, sketch 64,012, m 29,123, cartoon 23,411, traditional 21,359, death 12,387, pencil 5,126, gene 297, mortality 12
Details
Type: Picture/Pinup
Published: 4 years, 7 months ago
Rating: General

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Zivrshka
4 years, 7 months ago
Question, how does morality factor into this? Do you feel that drawing cute prepubescent anthropomorphic animal cartoon characters is inherently sinful regardless of how innocent the content or the intentions are? I'm genuinely curious what you think.
IceAgeChippies
4 years, 7 months ago
Could be my personal mortality, that of my art, or both (as the former would entail).

I never mentioned sin here---this was about me projecting a known pattern onto my art journey (hence counting what may remain of my art journey, or life, in pencils). That said, I'm an older man whose health isn't the greatest, so I think about physical death a lot, too. ^^

As far as sin goes, cartooning can be sinful, yes (but that's a different discussion).
Zivrshka
4 years, 7 months ago
Sorry, I misread the title, I thought it said morality, not mortality :p
Still, it was a question I wanted to ask regardless...
What I gather is it's not inherently sinful but it can be depending on the intent.
IceAgeChippies
4 years, 7 months ago
Correct.

I can read very deeply into things. For example, most furries like paws, right? But paws are just paws---perfectly safe for children. :3
But, if I draw a barefooted cub, I do so knowing someone will 'enjoy' it, despite the fact the paws are only incidental. My knowledge that I could be tempting someone in some way (by drawing an 'innocent cub') and opting to do so, could be counted as a sin. :3
SageOfShadow
4 years, 7 months ago
That would mean that you'll literally draw your life away....a lot of artist already do that XD
Also, always beware of what you wish, it can possibly come true someday ^^
IceAgeChippies
4 years, 7 months ago
Sounds like either way isn't good---either I draw away my life, or I drop as a consequence of feeling bad about it. ^^
SageOfShadow
4 years, 7 months ago
Damn such a tie ...  XD
IceAgeChippies
4 years, 7 months ago
Indeed. :3

I'm ok, dude---I get this way from time to time (you know that). :3
SageOfShadow
4 years, 7 months ago
I'm not really worrying, i just find those are question worth asking and i like reading answers that have "some thinking" into them.
It make me learn ^^
IceAgeChippies
4 years, 7 months ago
Sage apprecites Chippy's strange thoughts. :3
Zivrshka
4 years, 7 months ago
What's wrong with "drawing your life away", as you put it? If you enjoy it and it doesn't encroach upon other areas of your life what would the problem be?
IceAgeChippies
4 years, 7 months ago
Perhaps I'm ignorant; perhaps I enjoy drawing because I don't know any better (and by the time the lesson would be learned, it'd be too late)?
FoxyIbLover
4 years, 7 months ago
In what way could you perhaps know better?
IceAgeChippies
4 years, 7 months ago
That's hard to answer because it would all be in retrospect. I know it (my art) will all end up in a dumpster, and I would have lived several to many of my years creating it. I can see regret in that sense; should have done something more ambitious or worthwhile---youth is wasted on the young, and so forth and such like.

A comic strip artist or a Disney animator, for example, can say they illustrated our childhoods, etc... and it would probably be true. My art? Nope! It's completely pointless and has no value outside my dependency on creating and uploading it.

"Poor fool---he should have known or done better"
FoxyIbLover
4 years, 7 months ago
Well you do appear to have some idea. Probably, but you can't be certain of that. Some of it will be preserved as long as this site and any archived copies will last because you uploaded it. If you really want to reach a broader audience you should work to get there, don't ask me how, but it probably isn't going to happen while wallowing about not having gotten there. Didn't you mention people told you you should illustrate children's books or something? "youth is wasted on the young," that depends on how you define "wasted" and I think it's overly generic negative statement that should be ignored. If you want to say your art contributed something then work to reach that goal. "Poor fool---he should have known or done better" - this depends on a person's views and whether or not anyone outside of you friends and relatives will remember you at that. Anyway, the number of people who did something that is still remembered by society is low in comparison to all the people that live alongside them. Also many famous artists didn't get immediate recognition and you usually don't get decide whether or not you are going to get recognition.

You appear to have this notion of being inadequate, you shouldn't fixate on your self-perceived shortcomings unless there are specific things wrong in your life you could and should deal with. You should also ask yourself if you would really be all that happy working hard at being recognized. Remember that those who get high praise can also get equally harsh criticism. You'd  better be prepared to deal with that.
IceAgeChippies
4 years, 7 months ago
It's not that I want fame/fortune, etc... it's hard to define what I want, really.

I just kinda feel like I 'exist', and that's it. I'm afraid of 'missing out' on something---some undefined thing I should probably be reaching for.

But, then, I remind myself that in the end, I'll end up in the same cold earth as everyone else (so why bother?).

Now, I do believe in God, but I do think of the alternative what-if (that God doesn't exist). That just adds to the pointlessness of it all. God not existing actually devalues me---just an ape using a tool (a pencil) to get a rise from the other apes in the tree (via my art), so the tribe will accept me ...but, ultimately, I've no greater worth than the bacteria on the bathroom floor.

So, I need to believe in God, and do... but, with that comes this need not to 'bury my talent' as it were, among other things. I fear my art (some of it, anyway)---what if I cause someone harm with drawings of 'little boy bottoms', etc?
I could stop drawing such things (and I have GREATLY reduced it), but the feelings to draw/express myself in such ways would still be there.
To say, "Well, Christ died for this" is insulting and shows a lack of appreciation (as well a desire to not repent ...even if 'I' would disagree with that, my subconscious may not, and I dunno how deeply God judges).

I know I can't win... there's comfort in that (because it means failure is inevitable, so why worry about it?), but on the obverse is the "I failed!" and the genuine weeping that follows. :(
FoxyIbLover
4 years, 7 months ago
I would say your worth depends on whom you ask and your relationship with someone or something. Bacteria have their own worth and what someone considers valuable is rubbish to someone else. It seems you have psychological issues stemming from a religious background. Did you have a strong Christian upbringing?
IceAgeChippies
4 years, 7 months ago
No, actually. My grandmother was a fundamentalist, but I didn't grow up as some who would relate horror stories of being forced to pray every time they'd get a hard-on or some foolishness. To be honest, I was pretty much a feral child (I didn't go to school but so long---I lived in my room).
Seems you think faith is the root of my problems. Why is this; what've been your experiences there?
FoxyIbLover
4 years, 7 months ago
Okay, well I think this because you bring up faith a lot. Are you seeking help for your problems?
IceAgeChippies
4 years, 7 months ago
There is none. I just write/draw what I'm feeling sometimes.
FoxyIbLover
4 years, 7 months ago
There is none of what? Problems?
IceAgeChippies
4 years, 7 months ago
No help.
FoxyIbLover
4 years, 7 months ago
Certainly there must be some form of help for certain problems? Could you be more specific as to what there is no help for, that is if you want to talk about it?
IceAgeChippies
4 years, 7 months ago
*nuzzles Foxy*

Don't worry, dude; I'll live. I get this way from time to time; it'll pass (and return, and pass again). :3

Just like happiness, sadness (etc) is all in the mind. Nothing anyone can do about that.
FoxyIbLover
4 years, 7 months ago
Okay. Get well.
IceAgeChippies
4 years, 7 months ago
FoxyIbLover
1 year, 8 months ago
I was rereading this thread, you say you didn't go to school but lived in your room? Were you home schooled?
IceAgeChippies
1 year, 8 months ago
News at 11 (or whenever Chippy decides to reply). :3
FoxyIbLover
1 year, 8 months ago
Okay. ;-)
ShiftyGuy1994
4 years, 7 months ago
I'll always be an artist. And I'll always find time in my life to draw. No matter how busy, wealthy and successful I'll be in life. I wanna accomplish my goals and dreams, and I know I may have to cut some things out of my life to do it. But drawing artwork is something I'll always make a commitment for in life. It's part of what makes me who I am. Even if I can't draw as often anymore, I'll still draw. Which is more than what can be said for most people.

I can't say I wanna draw my life away. But I'll always set aside time to draw. I wanna balance my social life and my personal life so I can still do and achive what I want, but still have time for myself to draw and what have you.

Also, nice drawing lol :3
IceAgeChippies
4 years, 7 months ago
Thx. :3

I just worry I'm missing out on something, by sitting here in front of a screen most days. But, then, i'll just die one day and it won't matter. That's my perspective. :(
ShiftyGuy1994
4 years, 7 months ago
No problem man.

And yeah I generally worry about doing that too. I dont want to do that all the time, you know? I wanna go out and live, do what I wanna do, have what I wanna have. But still balance my drawings schedules and life. Again, drawing is part of what makes me who I am. And I never wanna give it up
wyntty
6 months ago
"I just worry I'm missing out on something, by sitting here in front of a screen most days. But, then, i'll just die one day and it won't matter. That's my perspective. :("

I feel the same honestly Chippy , I spend my days working ( mostly a screen ) and then come home and play video games ( another screen ) and I am in communication and amuse myself on a phone ( yup another screen )

I am happier with and without a screen . a screen shows me happy times and not happy events .

as for missing out ? what would you miss out on ? thanks to certian screens there are endless pursuits that you can do if you strongly pursue them . It is truewe al die and then to us nothing will matter . but the goal seems to be ( in my view )" live your life to the best of your enjoyemnt, and bring a happyness to others so that your deeds or actions will be remembered   " I hope you have some nice days ahead of you left:)
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