1 day late since on like monday i had zero energy =T --- DONT FORGET TO VISIT KITCHAN.COM :b! https://inkbunny.net/journalview.php?id=71166 <-what its about http://www.kitchan.org/ <-or just go there now theres a vote going on about the alternate endings!... zomg go vote if you haven't! =O VOTING ENDS 7PM EASTERN TOMORROW THE 15TH!
Fuck! Id run my ass away, caught with pants down with farmer's daughter....Time to run and I know Big Mac is her brother... lol farmer's daughter metaphorically speaking
Fuck! Id run my ass away, caught with pants down with farmer's daughter....Time to run and I know Bi
True, and maybe this is what he needs to get beat up for a mistake and not let off the hook. OOOORRRRR He's just gonna tell him that he "needs" to date/marry her at the right age, or just bans him completely. Or just kicked his face in unless RD stops him. XD
True, and maybe this is what he needs to get beat up for a mistake and not let off the hook. OOOORRR
good, gooooood. my restraint in not using harsh language in the whole comic up to this point paid off. also, do you remember how angry big mac gets in show? i didn't until i rewatched the parts where he speaks. he's super awkward, has a strange accent, and speaks his mind no matter what and no matter whom to.
good, gooooood. my restraint in not using harsh language in the whole comic up to this point paid of
Dragon scales are not gonna save you this time Spike!
mythologically speaking, since Spike is a young dragon, his scales would rip Big Macs Legs to ribbons, the scales lose their sharpness once the dragon becomes "Mature" or approx 20 years old, not to mention even a hatchling is strong enough to kill the strongest horse
~~~ Quote by Bitgamer: Dragon scales are not gonna save you this time Spike! ~~~ mythologicall
Just a suggestion, but you may want to tweak the composition on new comics. Normally, this comic is read left to right, top to bottom, but the top-right panel is supposed to be read right to left, I think. It's very confusing since the proper order of speech can't be inferred by the height of the speech bubbles (or else it would imply which was said first) nor left to right.
But if that's the case, then Applebloom apologized first, or so it seems. Her comment that she was just faking seems to follow directly from what Spike said in the previous panel, then she goes on to say her apology. So either she says it first or they both say it at the same time.
But if that's the case, why does she then later say that she just wanted to hear Spike say it first, since she was clearly going to apologize first (or she did) until he interrupted her. That seemed kind of puzzling to me.
And Rainbow and Pinkie are awful forgiving of Spike considering how rightfully pissed AJ and Mac are. I'm just surprised that AJ isn't MORE pissed. I guess she's just had time to calm down a bit.
Hearing Mac swear was awesome! Just a suggestion, but you may want to tweak the composition on new
noted, will do. in panel 2, ab and spike say their lines at the same time, and ab later means that she wants spike to apologize to her before apologizing to anyone else, like AJ.
rd and pinkie are awfully forgiving of spike. hmm... it's almost like they haven't really forgiven him.
What are you talking about? The top right panel is ment to be read left to right... Spike asked her a question in the first panel, but he obviously didn't gave her enough time to respond and started apologising which she interrupted and answered, the question first and then started apologising herself. Which AJ interrupted to tell her she isn't the one that needs to apologise. (That or they say it at the same time seeing how their bubbles are the same height ., . but that is a lot less likely in the light of what they are saying.) If your logic was right and spike's bubble was after AB's, that would mean that AJ actually interrupted spike to tell him he isn't the one that needs to apologiese. Which I highly doubt... Also where did it say that Pinkie and Dash have completely forgiven. Maybe they havent, but are being good friends like they have always been and trying to support him in the light of the bigger immediate problems which are AJ and Bigmac. That is kinda partially supported by panel 6 it seems. Look how worried Pinkie is and what she is saying. She is obviously more worried about the group as a whole and their friendship in general, then about some questionable sex encounters, to which they were a part as well. As well I am sure AJ is probably just as pissed as Bigmac, if not more, since she warned AB before hand(and because of that she is probably not pissed only at Spike). But she obviously is a lot better at containing her anger, then Bigmac is.
What are you talking about? The top right panel is ment to be read left to right... Spike asked her
For some reason, I can just see AJ talking him down by reminding him of all the angry fathers (or brothers) Mac's had after him for taking the virginity of young mares.
For some reason, I can just see AJ talking him down by reminding him of all the angry fathers (or br
yup, everyone's overreacting. i think they care less about what spike actually did and more about him not being able to take responsibility--which they can't do either.
yup, everyone's overreacting. i think they care less about what spike actually did and more about hi
AJ steps in and uppercuts BM in the face because of reasons .. OR BM's hooves land next to spikes head and he plows his horse meat up spikes face .. like its not 100% known what way he or anypony swings
And now we have 2 options in story line AJ steps in and uppercuts BM in the face because of reason
I noticed no one else seemed to comment on the fact he said should and not am going to. I'm not sure what he's about to do, but i really can't see Mac hurting Spike. Forcing Spike to take responsibility or make it up, that I can see.
I noticed no one else seemed to comment on the fact he said should and not am going to. I'm not sure
I figured that someone, other than AJ, would probably find out. I also noticed BicMac said "Should" not "will". I read the comments. PoC also said something about the way BicMac said it.
I figured that someone, other than AJ, would probably find out. I also noticed BicMac said "Should"
Oh man, something like this happened to me yesterday when I swore at the petrol(gas) station after giving me sister £20 to put in the empty fuel tank, and the needle barely made it to the quarter mark. I think it was only teh second time my sisters ever heard me swear, the last time being 25 years ago, when I looked up the details for the public enquiry into a power station, and ended up having it close down.
This is going to be very intresting how Spike survives Big Mac.
Oh man, something like this happened to me yesterday when I swore at the petrol(gas) station after g
You should feel special kitsu . When you google inkbunny it had 3 links under the site and the second one is for this comic that means you did really good
You should feel special kitsu . When you google inkbunny it had 3 links under the site and the secon
holy crap! you're right! looks like page 5 is the most routed-to page in the inkbunny.net domain--or was the last time google crawled it :O kit was suuuuuuper pleased when i told him thanks to your comment <3 i cannot believe it. it feels like a dream.
holy crap! you're right! looks like page 5 is the most routed-to page in the inkbunny.net domain--or
yeah, kitsu's male =P a lot of people assume every furry is male cuz so many of them are, so kitsu has always wondered why everyone assumes he's female. maybe he just gives that vibe? also, i'm female, if you were wondering.
yeah, kitsu's male =P a lot of people assume every furry is male cuz so many of them are, so kitsu h
I thought kit was a female because his user icon is a girl (or looks like a girl, so sorry if it's not) and in some of his personal comics or single conic pages where he has himself and someone else, he is clearly female. (Since it includes the pr0nz, and in such comics gender usually isnt an issue).
I could be totally wrong (again) but that's what went through my PERSONAL head as to why I thought he was female. Again... I'm not trying to speak for anyone but myself.
Well... I can't speak for everyone but... I thought kit was a female because his user icon is a gir
You know you're in deep crap when Big Mac speaks more than one to two words. Wait, if Big Mac kicks Spike...dammit it's day time! He'll get banished to the sun the hard way! Run Spike, run!
You know you're in deep crap when Big Mac speaks more than one to two words. Wait, if Big Mac kicks
Looking through the comments, at some point you convinced people there was going to be gay content I think. Because a lot of people want Mac to rape Spike, which is just weird. For one, who does that? And second, there solution to still-not-rape is rape, hypocritical. Again, one of the nice things with this comic is our chain of events follows a natural and reasonable order... not a weird, what the fuck how does that make any sense, mind set.
Looking through the comments, at some point you convinced people there was going to be gay content I
I don't agree with natural order..cause Pinkie is all: no it's fine that he took advantage of your sister and he's gonna apologize so everything's all right~
No. The world doesn't work this way.
I don't agree with natural order..cause Pinkie is all: no it's fine that he took advantage of your s
Ok this is like my 6th time commenting? anyways it seems like most people figure it will be. 1. Spike gets his ass kicked 2. spike gets his ass fucked 3. something stops bigmac from doing any damage. 4...... Oh that seems to be it.
EDIT: I noticed that rainbow dash seems to look quite aggressive. Perhaps she might do something??
Ok this is like my 6th time commenting? anyways it seems like most people figure it will be. 1. Spik
i'd like to see him try get out of this mess cause he'll be lucky if all BM does is rip his junk off cause by the look of the last panel the only thing left to do is pray he's not labeled express shipping to the moon
i'd like to see him try get out of this mess cause he'll be lucky if all BM does is rip his junk off
Leaving the door open...WHY DO PEOPLE MAKE THAT MISTAKE! XD Aw well Spike time to pay for your mistake, unless RD tackles him your pretty much doomed. XD Bet he'll be banned from the farm/seeing her for a while...this is gonna get, well Idk the word. XD
Leaving the door open...WHY DO PEOPLE MAKE THAT MISTAKE! XD Aw well Spike time to pay for your mista
Okay the last pane pretty much sums up some possible senarios....
1) rd is gonna stop Bigs before he purees spike with his front hooves 2) Aj is gonna calm her big brother down with her country sense [ though i doubt it] 3 ) Pinky is gonna at the last moment do something 4) Twilight gets a brand new egg to hatch for her birthday... um when is that by the way cause i wanna know when to go shopping for that egg...
Okay the last pane pretty much sums up some possible senarios.... 1) rd is gonna stop Bigs before h
=3 thanks! unless i really have to play the role of the writer, i don't. it's because no one else is seeing the story from my inside perspective, so why should i? i'm just participating in my viewers' conversations. my characters are real people to my viewers, so why shouldn't they be to me?
that's why i've never thought of writing as a process of controlling what happens in a world but rather of looking into a world that already exists and recording what i observe in a neat way. i can't manipulate what happens, but i can manipulate the perspective that i record things from and the timeframe i choose to record to try to make a point. real life works the same way.
=3 thanks! unless i really have to play the role of the writer, i don't. it's because no one else is
Wow that's a neat way to put it! Tbh I've considered trying to storytell, from inspiration from you, but I don't know how to start and I don't have an artist buddy like your kits there.
Now that you've said that, I completely agree to the way you handle this. Despite what you storywrite about, you are a great author. I support you and I hope you continue comics and/or stories like "Dragon You Over"!
(Preferably comics...but I didn't say that... What? Hm? Ok, yes you're awesome)
Wow that's a neat way to put it! Tbh I've considered trying to storytell, from inspiration from you,
aw, thanks :#3 kit and i would continue to do comics forever if we could <3 as is, we're not stopping any time soon. fyi, i do prose fiction too, but i haven't sat down to do that in quite some time. if you want to see the stories i've put on hold to do comics with kit, they're on my FA. ...and i have some even older stories on sofurry under Twilight Stormshi ...yes, with the space between words =P
writing comics is hard, dude. =P i suggest not starting out with it, at least.
ok, listen =P you're not going to go from writing crappy fanfics to being an AMAZING writer in one day or even 20 years, so don't seriously get into writing if you don't have a gigantic boner for stories. it's 100% acceptable and wonderful to write stuff that entertains you and your friends. (i'm serious. having so many people online interested in amateur writing is good. really good. it sparks interest in cool subjects and encourages the general creative spirit. i'd call myself an amateur.) and amateur stuff, you just... you pick a story that you like and say to yourself, "hmm, i wonder if i could improve it?" or "i wonder what woulda happened if... twilight hadn't saved winter wrap up!" or "damn, wouldn't it be freakin' hot if fluttershy and rainbow dash made out???" then you write that. super simple. then, as you go, you go back and read your own stuff and say "hmm... i didn't like how so and so came out. i'm gonna do it differently next time." then you do that =P
but--and i really don't mean to be a snob--if you wanna learn to write great art, start by picking the area you're most interested in. poetry or prose? fiction or nonfiction? given that you said "storytell," i'm going to assume fiction prose. so once you've got that, what genre? fantasy, romance, mystery, thriller, science fiction, short story, character drama, etc?
then write about what you want. seriously, just do it. over and over and over. doesn't matter if you suck. the only way to improve is to do it. let others see your writing and ask what they think. and get used to the idea that you'll write 10,000 pages of absolute crap for every 1 page of great stuff. everybody, no matter their skill level, does that. writing a page of what i consider great prose takes me around 40 hours, mostly editing. the great writers in history blow my mind with how they churned out so much content, the majority of which was gold. but that's because i've got ridiculous standards =P dyo? it's not trash by any means, but it doesn't come close to even my standard for good writing. i've got like two pages of what i consider really good writing i've done online.
as you hit roadblocks, read. ok, people overplay the importance of reading to writing. you don't need others' ideas to be great. but it's still good to get yourself acquainted with what makes "good writing" good. because 99% of published writing, movies, art, photography--anything creative, in fact!--is unspeakable garbage. read "the classics." Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man (Joyce), Moby Dick (Melville), the Odyssey (Homer), Great Expectations (Dickens), Light in August (Faulkner), Ozymandias (Shelley), Cantos (Pound), The Metamorphosis (Kafka), Letters from the Earth (Twain), The Wind-Up Bird (short story by Murakami), A Hundred Years of Solitude (Márquez). see what's been done before (i.e. everything =P) and try your damndest to have an idea that hasn't been done! and form opinions. on everything. that's how you'll know what to do and what not to do in your own writing.
in the end, writing good stuff comes down to thinking about it constantly, comparing what you've got both to reality and to your vision, and sticking to it. also damn hard work. school isn't necessary, reading isn't necessary, but both are useful tools for getting you to think about what you're doing in cool new ways. oh, and don't listen to blanket advice like "show don't tell." find your own style.
aw, thanks :#3 kit and i would continue to do comics forever if we could <3 as is, we're not stoppin
(if that link works) shows a pic from lando, and at the very bottom I commented, and it's a small fanfic type thingy or whatever you wanna call it regarding the picture.
I know already that it's complete trash, BUT since you've stated that I'll write a ton of trash before I even get one good page out, there it is... AND also since you said that I should get a lot of people to critique my writing, who better, than the person who inspired me? (Also, anyone else that sees this comment, will you take a look at it, and critique me?) I know you aren't trying to be snobby or trying to put me down (at least I hope not), you were just saying what I needed to hear regarding this subject. And I really REALLY appreciate the time you took to inform me. You're super awesome Twilight, and I need to go check out your other stuff!
Lastly, regarding the link, it ends abruptly, because it's only a comment, and comments can't be too long, plus I only wanted to write about the pic, so yeah... and just FYI, I LITERALLY made that up as I went along so that's probably another reason why it's so bad...
Anyway...(Man now that I think about it I REALLY hope that link works, lol!)
When you said 'write about what you want', that's exactly what I do. https://inkbunny.net/submissio
it's not bad, pretty much average fanfic. i actually lol'd over "taking a bath in the sink" because it was a good image but more specifically because it was clever... almost? here, let me explain.
first of all, it -was- clever from the perspective that you thought about the scene that happened before the story started. most amateur writers never learn to do that, stuck on the thought that the world they're writing about didn't exist before they started writing. so that's good. keep doing that.
as for that particular line: as a reader, at first, you think "there's no reason for him to specify that he was taking it 'in the sink'" because that's, presumably, where they always take their baths. so then you start thinking about reasons he would have specified. there are a few possibilities: 1. alvin usually sneaks into the bathtub to take baths when dave's not around, which is something he would say and gives your story good characterization and a window into their daily lives; 2. alvin is used to specifying because he sees dave take baths in the bathtub and is aware he's living in a human world, which is good worldbuilding; or 3. you just specified too much information without thinking about it =P
given that you did #3 numerous other places in the story where it couldn't be interpreted as clever, i'm going to go with #3. (if i'm mistaken, you did something really advanced, and i'm proud of you!) but try to avoid giving too much information or contriving your story so it gives the necessary information. remember, real life situations occur just fine without people outright telling you what's going on or without hints magically appearing in the world. there is a natural way in which information gets disseminated. when figuring out what to write for dialogue, prioritize what the character would say rather than what is useful for them to say or what drives the story. the story will drive itself based on the characters' natural interactions.
and, if you want to do that clever thing again, you can by knowing the characters enough that you can find cool new quirks in what the characters would say that happen to provide useful information. that information doesn't have to be plot relevant, but, in the case of taking a bath in the sink, it underlined another point in the story--how alvin was the dominant of the pair--and gave a glimpse at another scene that happened (alvin sneaking into the bathtub when dave wasn't home). it was a scene embedded in the scene, and it came across in just a few words. those kinds of things are really pleasant and interesting for your readers to read, and their efficiency helps you in a number of ways.
however, overall, you wrote the tones of their voices well! i could hear them saying their lines. now the trick is to get them to -do- what the characters would -do- while having them -talk- like they would -talk-. it's hard :P for example, the part about alvin borrowing the magazine isn't believable since there's no in-story way to know they were already sexually active, and simon doesn't seem like he is at the beginning, so alvin's request comes out of nowhere and breaks our suspension of disbelief. though that last part is probably cuz your space was limited. you should write full fanfic! taking inspiration from pictures is fine ^^
it's not bad, pretty much average fanfic. i actually lol'd over "taking a bath in the sink" because
Wow thanks for that! I actually wasn't sure how to go about going from innocent to explicit. It's not very for me lol. And although I probably didn't choose the best route, I thought that it was decent. Especially since I was only practicing.
Now about the "in th sink" part, what I was thinking when I wrote that, is that I isn't feel safe enough just saying "taking a shower" since they ARE chipmunks, I felt the need to specify their size difference, since that's what came to mind when I was thinking about the first movie, how they had a bunch of scenes showing how they get through life in a humans world.
But yeah, I agree with you, that I say thing thatbarent necessary and are common sense, and if I give too much, then I'm probably insulting the readers intelligence...but... Idk... I still feel like it needs saying, because when I look at your comic here, and see the comments, people ask questions about things that are easier for other people to understand... So... Yeah... I feel like if I briefly explain what I mean by adding 3 simple words like "in the sink" it wouldn't be a big of a deal... and more experienced readers like you have that imagination going on, so it would fall under 1 or 2 instead of 3.
Now where else did I do number 3? Cuz I think I do it alot and I think you mentioned multiple times I did that, right? Usually I have a reason behind saying something...you said there some things I said that I could easily be taken out and/or tmi... And I don't mean to be a bother, but I would like to know specific quotes, since it will help me better, and I next time I will think about it more.
Wow thanks for that! I actually wasn't sure how to go about going from innocent to explicit. It's no
twilightstormshi
