Robby: [Serious] Hey, folks. Welcome back to the Robby Fox show. we're gonna go ahead and turn this music down real quick.
[Music quickly fades out.]
Robby: Okay, perfect. A little change in plans here. We got a really odd phone call during the commercial break. There's a guy claiming to be the individual that's been committing all those crimes lately. You've probably heard him referred to as Psy the Bat. That's not his real name, but we're going to call him Psy so we can keep him on the line.
Robby: Seriously, folks, we're not making this up. We're gonna give him a little interview and see if he can explain himself.
Robby: Psy, this is Robby Fox, you're on the Robby Fox show.
[Pause]
[Psy is filtered for the entire call]
Psy: Hello?
Robby: Hey, there. Can you hear me all right?
Psy: Yeah, I can hear you. Um... I'm just a little nervous.
Robby: That's oka---
Psy: I like your show.
Robby: Well... uh... Thank you, Psy.
Psy: Okay, you’re welcome.
Robby: You called us, Psy. Got something on your mind?
[Long Pause]
Robby: Psy, you there?
Psy: [Annoyed] I'm trying to think of what to say!
[Pause]
Robby: Okay, Psy. [Pause] Take your time.
[Pause]
Psy: I um... I just... I guess I want the world to know something.
Robby: What's /that,/ Psy?
[Pause]
Psy: I just... I want them to know that... I'm really lonely. [Pause]
Robby: You uh---
Psy: [Interrupt] I can't find anyone that... understands what's going on... with me. They only see what they want to see... and they can't... see... what I see. [Pause] I haven't murdered anyone. [Pause] They're all killing themselves or something... or they're not really dead. [Pause and then Pathetic] I dunno.
Robby: Are you saying that... you're seeing things that other people can't, Psy?
Psy: [Annoyed] They see the things, but they don't want to see them. Nobody does.
Robby: So forgive me for saying so, Psy, but you're wanted for a lot of pretty awful things. They're so bad that I can't even go into them on the air. Are you saying you didn't do any of these things?
[Long Pause]
Psy: I'm saying... that... I'm not responsible for those people. They were the ones who did the bad thing. They said things to me... with their minds. Everyone does... although I don't think... you do it... Robby.
Robby: Do you... um... have any regrets for the things you've done?
Psy: [Pathetic] Stop judging me. I had to do it. They were terrible people. Please, stop.
Robby: I wasn't judging you, Robby. I'm just trying to figure things out here.
Psy: [Deadpan] I wasn't talking to you.
[Pause]
Robby: I apologize.
[Sound of doors opening and movement in the distance]
Psy: I'm just so lonely... ya know? [Pause] I feel like I'm a speck of dust in the desert. Nobody understands what I'm going through. They just hate me because of what I am.
Robby: <Clears throat> [Pause] What /are/ you, Psy?
[Long Pause]
Robby: Psy?
Psy: [Terrified] I'm Psy. [Pause] It's short for Psychopath. [Pause] I'm a fucking Psychopath, and I've got to get off this phone because the person in the next room is about to die... and he wants me to be there for him when I---
Robby: Okay, sorry about that folks. We cut him off before he said anything we didn't want aired. Don't worry, the police are actually here in the studio. They're trying to track him down as we speak, but they aren't sure where he is calling from.
Robby: He seems pretty damn sure he is a psychopath. I believe it. Sorry if this brought you down. We actually have to take these calls when we get them in order to help the police. We'll go back to commercials for a bit while we work things out, and when we come back, we'll continue on with the show. Thanks for listening to the Robby Fox Show.
Robby: [Fades out quickly before the sentence can be completed.] Hey, Jerry, were you able to keep him on the line?
qsharpe
