[Police department ambi whirrs up. Printer sound. Paper sound]
Peirce: Hey, Ralph!
Ralph: [Distant] Hold, on, Peirce!
Peirce: Ralph, get your chubby bear arse over here! I got work for ya!
Ralph: [Distant. Frustrated] God damn it, I'm comin'! [Pause and close] What is it?
Peirce: I need you to spread this picture around the station. Mouse, 19 years old. Her name is Precious.
Ralph: That's a girl?
Peirce: Yeah, biologically male, but she was raised a female by her deceased master. I intend to respect that. The details about it are listed here to prevent confusion.
[Paper sound]
Ralph: [A little uncomfortable but coming around] Uhhh. Yeah. Yeah. What's... her deal?
Peirce: Suspicion of murder for now. Case is still pretty farked up. Right now, we just need to find her. Have the boys all get a copy of this and keep an eye out for her.
Ralph: Right. I'll do that.
[Distant slam sound]
Eddie: [Extremely angry scream] PEEEIIRRRRCE!!!!
Peirce: <Grrooaans to himself> Is it that time already?
Ralph: Yeah, I'll get on this for ya, Peirce.
Peirce: [Grumpy] Thanks, Ralph.
Eddie: [Screaming in a weasely rage] Peirce, you're a mother fucker! I ought to capture and breed your big pretty boy horsey ass for what you did!
Peirce: How's life treatin' you, Eddie?
Eddie: [Still angry] You shut your cock-sucking mouth, long-face! You arrested Jack on purpose! It just fucking kills you that I actually caught him! You just fucking couldn't let me win!
Peirce: Eddie, stop yelling. We still got work to do.
Eddie: [Still furious] Fuck you, Peirce! In fact, fuck every horse who was ever a cop! Fucking herbivores don't deserve a badge and gun! I should sell off your ass for glue!
Peirce: [Angry shout] EDDIE!
Eddie: [Still angry] Don't you even fucking try and take the high ground. You fucking arrested Jack to keep him away from me. I'm telling Lairen all about it. It's fucking illegal, asshole! I get to keep what's mine! You really fucked up!
Peirce: [Yells angrily] Just stop it, Eddie! [Pause] Eddie, come back here!
[Door crashes open]
Lairen: [Angry and surprised] The fuck?!
Eddie: [Angry] Chief, Peirce just broke the fucking law! I want his fucking badge!
Peirce: [Angry but apologetic] Chief, I tried to stop him.
Eddie: [Angry] He only arrested Jack because he's trying to keep him away from me!
Lairen: [Angry] Right now, I want both of you to shut the fuck up! This is my fucking office!
Eddie: [Yells] Chief, he--
Lairen: [Yells angrily] I SAID SHUT UP! Not another fucking word!
Eddie: <Angry grunt>
Lairen: Fuck both of you! I don't need this shit. Peirce actually did his homework. Jack was tricked, hypnotized, or did some other fuckery to convince Jack to let him go.
Peirce: <Clears throat> It's "Her," sir.
Lairen: [Screams] I DON'T FUCKING CARE! JUST SHUT UP!
Peirce: [Uncomfortable] Uhhh... Sorry... sir.
Eddie: Sir, Peirce is a fucking bunny lover.
Lairen: [Angry] No, Peirce is just doing his fucking job. He's following up on one of the stupidest cases we ever had. I didn't like this thing ever since it first went across my desk. There's some serious fucked up voodoo bullshit happening with every aspect of it. This ain't no time to worry about who gets to own who and what. I just wanna find out how that fucking tiger got murdered, and I don't want any more trouble if I have any say on the matter. So stop bugging me in my own fucking office with all of your petty bullshit problems!
Eddie: [Trying to stay calm] Sir, what if Jack ends up getting off being my slave? I've already claimed him.
Lairen: [Angry] Eddie, the only thing I care about is that we capture a murderer, and Precious just turned into a prime suspect. Get the fuck over your problems and start being a cop, or you can go on leave for a week while the real boys go to work.
Eddie: God damnit, fine.
Peirce: [Very apologetic] Once again, very sorry, sir.
Lairen: Peirce?
Peirce: Yes, sir?
Lairen: Get the fuck out of my office.
Peirce: Yes, sir.
[Door closes. Pause.]
Peirce: Eddie, I...
Eddie: [Frustrated and annoyed] Let's just go fine your stupid mouse. I don't wanna talk about it anymore.
Peirce: Are you sure you... uh... wanna still work with me?
deleter
