Eddie: <Chuckling> Yeah, you look really stupid, now that I look at it.
Peirce: Just keep your farking eyes on the road... [Under breath] Ya bampot noodle. [Bampot is a Scottish insult meaning stupid]
Eddie: <Laughs to himself despite the insult> You know, I like this. We should pal up in my patrol car more often. Might do you some good, ya know? See how things are from my perspective.
Peirce: Eddie, I can't feel meh arms.
Eddie: I mean... we're still partners, ain't we? We may not see eye to eye all the time, but we gotta stick together.
Peirce: [Grumpy] We don't see eye to eye because you're like 3 feet shorter than I am.
Eddie: Ha! Funny, Peirce! You're a real funny guy. Always did like you. Don't know who the fuck decided to give you a badge, but you're a funny guy.
Peirce: Eddie, the only reason I agreed to get into this farking clown car with you is because I was trying to mend things with you.
Eddie: It's already mended. You see, Peirce, this is how it works. I'm a predator. You're a prey. I get the good seat, and you get the cramped one. This is how things ought to be, ya know?
Peirce: Eddie, this isn't the way you fix thing up with your partner.
Eddie: Looks fine to me, Horsie.
Peirce: Look, Eddie, just pull over. I'll farking walk home from here.
Eddie: How about you shut your fuckin' mouth and enjoy the ride, Peircy.
Peirce: [Yells] Eddie, I hate it in here!
Eddie: And I hate that you took my prey away. You know how much I fuckin' wanted Jack. I told you about it every chance I got. And deep down inside, I knew you resented it for me. Not that I blame you. I guess you prey-types all need to stick together. Ain't that right, Horsie?
Peirce: Eddie, I... Jack was a fellow cop!
Eddie: Do I look like I care? 'Cause I don't. I wouldn't give a flying fuck if he was a freaking king. The point was that I chose him as my prey. I didn't break any laws. I was gonna take his little, bunny ass home and turn him into my fluffy cocksleeve. <Angry> He was mine, asshole!
Peirce: I was gonna let you have him, Eddie! He got involved in this whole murder investigation! Precious farking hypnotized him!
Eddie: That's not why you arrested him though! We both know you were trying to keep him away from me!
Peirce: [Incredibly frustrated] So you aren't accusing me of breaking the law as much as you think I did this as a personal slight to you? Is that what this is about?
Eddie: You never liked me! You resented being paired with a predator; just admit it! You fucking hate my guts! I'm sick and tired of us pretending we like one another. Let's face the facts, Horsie - You hate me because I wanna fuck you dumbass herbivores, and I hate you because you fucking stole what's mine away from me. [Yells really loudly] FUCK YOU, PEIRCE! YOU AND YOUR FUCKING SLAVE! STOP PRETENDING TO BE WHAT YOU AREN'T!
[Long Pause]
Peirce: [Miserable but calm] I don't hate you, Eddie.
[Pause]
Eddie: [Shaken up and sad] Yeah, I know.
[Pause]
Peirce: Prey have the right to fight off their predator before capture. If it's determined that he was not under the influence of some sort of hypnosis... I'll let you have him without any complaint. But other than that... I got a job to do. [Pause] I'm a cop, Eddie. I take it more seriously than anything else.
Eddie: [A little defeated] Yeah, I get ya. No problem.
[Long Pause]
Peirce: I also like having you as a partner. [Pause] You're clever... and you often notice things farster than I do. You got that... weasel intuition.
[Pause]
Eddie: [Feels better] True. I like you too, Horsie. Ever thought about getting captures by a short guy?
Peirce: [Instant] No.
Eddie: Just asking.
Peirce: Eddie, my whole body is going numb. Where exactly are we going?
Eddie: Heading back to the Gage mansion. My Weasel intuition is tingling.
deleter
