...I actually had that bus box as a kid; as I recall, I kept crayons in it. ^^
Anyway, 'Sweet Pickles' was a series of educational children's activity books (etc) made available via mail-order subscription. The books were written and illustrated by Richard Hefter. Hefter also wrote and illustrated the 'StickyBear' and 'Strawberry Library' books.
...and based on some of his work, I wouldn't be surprised if Hefter had a DeviantArt account: https://sta.sh/0zu0wri6qdy
HYPOTHETICALWATCHER: "Hefter died in 2011"
...Oh? Well, I, uh, meant no criticism---I mean, I have a DeviantArt, and an InkBunny (that's worse, right?). And I, uh...
HYPOTHETICALWATCHER: "Stop trying, Chippy"
Right. MOVING ON! D:
The 'Sweet Pickles' characters were of the anthro-animal sort, each blessed with an alliterative name representing their respective personalities. For example, we have Loving Lion, Bashful Bear, Jealous Jackal and Temper-Tantrum Turtle just to name a few ...and if you're wondering what character 'X' represents, it's 'X-Rating Xerus' (a xerus is a type of ground squirrel). ^^
Ok, so why did I chose Smarty Stork?
Because the only 'Sweet Pickles' book I have features the character, specifically: 'Stork Spills the Beans'
"This book is about Smarty Stork. He has answers for every question, including who delivers babies"
In,
"[a story] with giggles and tickles and awful pickles"
If there's a baby involved in this story, I'm sure an awful pickle would be somehow responsible.
Anyway, the story begins with Loving Lion and Accusing Alligator sitting around the park discussing random things,
"'I wonder where babies com from', said Lion. 'That's easy', Alligator replied. 'They come from under a cabbage leaf'"
Lion doesn't believe Alligator, so the two begin exchanging do-nots and do-sos,
Seems odd to me that Loving Lion would accuse Accusing Alligator of being mistaken, but perhaps the characters aren't as glued to their respective namesakes as one might imagine them to be.
Either way, Enormous Elephant happens by,
"'Babies', Elephant said, 'are brought by Stork. Stork delivers babies'"
Lion believes Elephant, but Alligator remains skeptical. To settle the matter, the three set forth to visit Stork (who works at the post office).
Does Stork deliver babies?
***SPOILERS AHEAD---TURN BACK WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!---***
STORK: "Ah, ahem, yes, well, I've been asked that before. And the answer is pretty easy. I've delivered boxes of letters and soft, fuzzy sweaters, refrigerators, percolators, radiators and ventilators. I've brought lemonade and marmalade, lampshades, spades and ropes in braids. I've delivered bags of flags and boxes with tags, envelopes and cantaloupes, kaleidoscopes and *antelopes. I've delivered 'most everything...balloons and spoons and hairy balloons. Hats and bats and coats for cats, snakes and flakes and wedding cakes. Everything comes through the post office! As postmaster, I deliver airplanes, canes and weathervanes. But I DON'T deliver babies!"
*maybe one has to be a certain age in the world of Sweet Pickles before one can send oneself (or another) through the mail ...otherwise, it's possible Stork has at least delivered an antelope baby ...but I really don't want to think much about that. ^^
So the answer to Lion and Alligator's question remains. The two pose some childish guesses at Stork, but neither gets it right ...the juvenile part of me wonders what guess X-Rating Xerus would make. ;)
"Well," said Stork, "It's really very simple. I can tell you in one word where babies come from"
***SPOILERS AHEAD---ABSOLUTE LAST CHANCE TO TURN BACK IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHERE BABIES COME FROM!!!---***
STORK: "Babies come from mothers. Yes they do"
:3
And that was 'Stork Spills the Beans'!
HYPOTHETICALWATCHER: "Stork spilled the beans---that's why there's no baby in this story!"
...Bruh. You know kids sometimes read my re-views, right? Besides, you're confusing Smarty Stork with Obnoxious Onan. ;)
HYPOTHETICALWATCHER: "You're no better than me, Chippy" [points at pencil]
*sigh*
Yes, I chose to feature a 'Lance' pencil with this drawing because I'm immature and unfunny. :p
As a Christian, I believe in Hell, therefore I believe what we do with pickles and beans may bear on one's eternity ...but I refuse to believe God doesn't have a sense of humor. Besides, no actual pickles or beans were (uh) utilized in the writing of this re-view, so we're all good! ^^
Anyway, though it isn't branded as such, this Lance pencil was made by Eagle. The original Lance was branded, and numbered '0115'. This second-run/school-use version is numbered '115', and was made available in different colors (I know of red, blue and yellow, but purple and green may have been included).
Anyway ...For those who want more 'Sweet Pickles', here's a link to a reading of 'Goose Goofs Off', read by Captain Kangaroo (link tested 09/02/2021): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TNeqR_p8Kc
*thinking that hamster thingy is some sort of doll foxie grabs him and hugs him* “looook hawmster dingy izz my wibe!! naw we izza mawried!” *drools why stupidly blinking at those staring at him*
*thinking that hamster thingy is some sort of doll foxie grabs him and hugs him* “looook hawmster di
*looks up from raping one of the wailing cubs in the butt* “wah? oh no, it’s hamster thingy again wanting to show off his stupid legos and wanting to make feel bad!” *sniffles and completely forgets the wailing of two cubs*
*looks up from raping one of the wailing cubs in the butt* “wah? oh no, it’s hamster thingy again wa
*cringes and tries to move away from hamster thingy* “Me mistreat these adorable little cubs? I uh umh was going to return them to their mother when I ah umh eh found them here lost in the woods! Yeah, that’s ah it, they were lost!” *a horrible idiotic grin appears as foxie tries to hide in the nearby bushes*
*cringes and tries to move away from hamster thingy* “Me mistreat these adorable little cubs? I uh u
“why thank you mr hamster dingy” *offers his still hard dick* “here you have a pencil too” *squeezes real hard and … craps all over your feet* “and here is the crap that comes with it” *laughs like drunk hyena*
“why thank you mr hamster dingy” *offers his still hard dick* “here you have a pencil too” *squeezes
*sobs loudly* “please don’t kill me mr. chippy! Foxy will be good!” *scream in agony* “Aaargh, it hurts, it hurts, your teeth are hurting me!” *wails* “Let me gooo!” *screams*
*sobs loudly* “please don’t kill me mr. chippy! Foxy will be good!” *scream in agony* “Aaargh, it hu
*trapped inside hamster thingy’s stomach* “You got away this time! But I will get you next time!” *odd mewling noise and one idiot failing to notice he is slowly being desolved by acid*
*trapped inside hamster thingy’s stomach* “You got away this time! But I will get you next time!” *o
*half hearing you while schizophrantacally babbling at himself* “hamstadinyanirmawwied!” *drools while stuffing legos he’s just noticed into his mouth and chokes* “yamyamlewgos” *stalks off barely able to walk after all the madness and notices a cub that hasn’t yet got away* “mewrfawn!” *runs after cub who has finally made a run for it*
*half hearing you while schizophrantacally babbling at himself* “hamstadinyanirmawwied!” *drools whi
*somewhat recovering from his drunken stupor the bleary eyed foxy stares at the diaper tied around his snout and starts to claw at it* "wazzizahshmellcubbiez!" *tries to follow the percieved scent stumbling everywhere he goes*
*somewhat recovering from his drunken stupor the bleary eyed foxy stares at the diaper tied around h
Hmmnnn... maybe I shouldn't have tied a used one... still, that nice gentleman in the alley offers good money for those,s o they can't be bad now, can they?
Hey! Get back here! I'm pretty sure you need a nap!
*Chases after the wayward cub, throwing pillows*
Hmmnnn... maybe I shouldn't have tied a used one... still, that nice gentleman in the alley offers g
*still not noticing the godawful stench eminating from the used diaper* "icklecubbiewubbieswerraru?! Fawxywanzapway!" *notices himself growing horny and enjoying it*
*still not noticing the godawful stench eminating from the used diaper* "icklecubbiewubbieswerraru?!
*notices your paddle and slinks off* “Please don’t hurt me!” *tries to hide his boner and mumbles* “Stupid twat.” *quickly runs away from you* “now where are those cubs?” *imagines “playing” with the cubs and grows excited*
*notices your paddle and slinks off* “Please don’t hurt me!” *tries to hide his boner and mumbles* “
*opens muzzle wide and downs the majority of your coke and proceeds to lick his sticky fur that as now become even filthier* "ahhh, I needed that, thankies!" *runs off on a sugar and caffeine induced high fueling his already manic state*
*opens muzzle wide and downs the majority of your coke and proceeds to lick his sticky fur that as n
*you watch a small object trailing smoke and fire fall from the sky and crashing into the ground with an earth shattering noise producing a fox shaped hole in the ground from which some moaning eminates* “uuurghyyhijjimaaabaahck…! wherexdajkubs??” *tries to get out but faints*
*you watch a small object trailing smoke and fire fall from the sky and crashing into the ground wit
*superiority complex surfaces again - standing in the smoking crater an insane rant is uttered* “HOW DO YOU DARE TO SPEAK TO THE LORD OF DARKNESS IN THAT MANNER?! DIE PITIFUL MAGGOT!” *spots and tries to grap a pitchfork*
*superiority complex surfaces again - standing in the smoking crater an insane rant is uttered* “HOW
*tries to stab you but hits stabs his own feet* “No! This cannot be! The Lord Of Darkness defeated by a mere mortal!” *the Satan/demom shtick keeps going on like this for a while*
*tries to stab you but hits stabs his own feet* “No! This cannot be! The Lord Of Darkness defeated b
No FCL! Don't listen to him! They're actually incredibly phallic 'cubs' that will wrap their tails around your neck and force their eggs down your thr-
STOP DROOLING!
No FCL! Don't listen to him! They're actually incredibly phallic 'cubs' that will wrap their tails a
*Foxy is schizophrantically imagining himself to be having wonderful sex with beautiful cubs* "Ahhh, yes! Yes! That feels so good ! Keep it up cuties!" *delusionally allows himself to be further molested*
*Foxy is schizophrantically imagining himself to be having wonderful sex with beautiful cubs* "Ahhh,
*Watches as a swarm of half-xenomorph, half-fox cubs burst forth, swarming out to engage in lewd and perverted acts with all those around, quickly burying the original fox beneath a pile of squirming, twisted kitness.*
StorkL And THAT'S where herm hyperfur fox cubs come from!
*Watches as a swarm of half-xenomorph, half-fox cubs burst forth, swarming out to engage in lewd and
*Alas, it is too late. The pile of hyperherm cubs drag the poor innocent vulpine into an unending dogpile. The twisted fornication that ensues is enough to make Softpaw Magazine editors blush.*
*Alas, it is too late. The pile of hyperherm cubs drag the poor innocent vulpine into an unending do
