When I was a small pup, I spent a lot of time with my grandmother. She was like my best friend, taught me to never give up on my dreams, and that love should always be the answer, no matter what. As I grew up, she slowly aged. It wasn't until I was eight years old that I noticed how much time had effected her... One day at a family gathering she took me aside and began to ask me questions that didn't make any sense to me.
"What is the most important thing in this world?" she inquired, while we sat on a bench far away from the rest of the family.
"Love!" I answered eagerly, knowing that she had taught me this is the answer to all such questions.
"Right! When you look at your family, can you see the love we have for each other?" she asked as she motioned to our family in the distance, playing and laughing together.
"Yes, ma'am! I love my family. Did I tell you what mom did the other day?"
"No, but we don't have time for that..." she pronounced, cutting my story off before it even began. "What are you going to do for the rest of your life?"
"Always follow my dreams! No one will stop me from doing that!"
"Absolutely! Never give up on your dreams little pup."
That was the last conversation I had with my grandmother. Late that night while I slept she was admitted to the hospital; three days later she died. I felt completely alone and heartbroken. I had lost not only my grandmother, but my best friend. I miss her dearly, but I know I can't bring her back. Mid summer of the next year, I was introduced to my older brother. I didn't even know I had one! I was so happy to have someone I could relate to, he acted a lot like our grandmother. He would ask me questions like my grandmother had, about life, love, and my dreams. I quickly became attached to his hip, leaving his side only so he could sleep, and go to school. If he wanted his own time, he never showed it.
I got to meet my sister, my niece, and my sister's fiancé when I was fifteen. I was so happy to be an uncle, to meet my soon to be brother-in-law and sister. She was kind, and her fiancé was always nice to me. My niece was a bit of a pain, but when we played together we had more fun then the rest of the family ever could. My sisters wedding was planned for three months after I met her, and my brother was going to be the best man. My brother was so excited, he started planning the bachelor party the day after he was asked. I tried to help him plan it but my brother told me it was; "Man's business, you'll understand when you get older, sport." My brother was driving home from work one day and got hit by a drunk driver. He died in the hospital days later, two months before the wedding.
My family was crushed. My sister had only just met us and already lost her brother before she even got the chance to really know him. My parents cried for weeks following, and the wedding was put off. I think I had it worse than anyone, being so close to my brother. Every day felt like being stabbed in the back. Once again I had lost my best friend, I cried myself to sleep every night for a year; I still cry for him every once in a while. I really miss him, but I'm glad he taught me to never give up on myself, and my dreams. The wedding was rescheduled and a year later I had a brother-in-law. He had tried to help me to cope with my brother's death, and he was the only guy in my life that I felt I could relate with.
A year after the wedding he died too, from cancer attacking his heart. No one knew anything was wrong with him until he started to cough up blood after breakfast. He went to the hospital that day and never came back. I had gotten close to him since my brother had died, and it seemed just as I had finally started to get over the death of my brother, I had lost someone else close to me. I miss my brother, grandmother and brother-in-law. I miss them deeply, but I'm very lucky to have had them in my life, and for them to teach me the importance of believing in myself, never giving up on my dreams, and to always fight for what I believe in. I do my best to still honor the memories I have of them. Sometimes it’s hard, but I know they are still watching over me and helping me get through anything this world throws at me.
About a year and a half ago I went on an online dating site, only to see if I could find anything that had meaning. I started talking to this one guy before thanks giving. Summer of the next year him and I had become really close, and he became my master. One of the more major events in my life was meeting my ex-master. My ex-master's teaching were different from what my family had taught me, where they stressed on matter of the heart and soul he taught me about my mind and the power it held. Most everyone hated him and the fact that he was my master, I lost a lot of friends and didn't make many new ones because people wouldn't accept him being my master. I was ridiculed, judged, shunned and persecuted by complete strangers because I had a master, it was worse when it was from people I had considered close friends.
Despite all of that I'm still glad that he became my master and taught me the things that he did. We have both moved on and are really happy, we're glad that each other is happy. After I relinquished his ownership I honestly felt like I was cursed to be alone forever. I thought like this for a long while, trapped in what seemed like an endless loop of pain, depression and paranoia. All of that changed when a husky came into my life. I've only known him a short while but even his minimal amount of time in my life has changed it for the better. I no long have negative thoughts or emotions. Almost everyone thinks I'm completely insane and moving too fast, and I can understand why they would say so.
No matter what this husky has my heart and soul, I feel whole when I'm near him. I'm hoping to move in with him when he goes off to work for the government later this year, leaving those who hate me behind in my dust. I love my mate, I'm bound together with him, surrounded by strings of purity and love. I want to stay with him even after we both die. I'm looking ahead now, at living the life the way my loved ones and ex-master taught me. I want to live a pure life where love trumps all. I'm going to do my best to be good natured and pleasant towards others, even if those people try to destroy me.
This is my past, these are my hopes, this is why I'm Nuzzles.
