All I really want for Christmas video game parody
The story starts off in Fix it Felix's arcade game where Ralph is asking Felix what his plans are for Christmas.
Wreck it Ralph: So Felix, what are your plans for christmas this year?
-song starts-
Fix it Felix: I want a wife who doesn't laugh, everytime I feel a draft. That's all I really want for christmas this yeeeeeeaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrr!
(scene cuts to felix taking off his clothes while sg calhoon lays in bed with a glass of wine and she bursts out laughing at his off-camera small penis.)
Vanellope: I wanna race for newfound fame.
Sourbill: I wanna get out of this game.
both: Thats all we really want for christmas this yeeeeeeaaaaaarrrrr.
(Vanellope is in the middle of an intense race while Sourbill is on the road sweeping up garbage while miserable)
Ralph: Well that sounds swell, I wonder what all the other big gaming stars are doing for the holiday season?
Big the Cat: I just wanna find Froggy, then we can go fi-iishing.
Gold from Pokemon: I just really gotta ca-aatch em allllllll!
(Big the cat is running through emerald coast trying to find froggy while gold is standing in the middle of cherrygrove city with a pokeball, surrounded by playful wild pokemon)
Master Chief: Stopping the rings from fir-ring...
Arbiter: or a song that I can sing.
both: Thats all I really want for christmas this yeeeeeaaaaarrrr.
(Arbiter was giving Master Chief a blow job off camera as chief pilots a spacecraft heading towards halo, chief then proceeds to push arbiters head slowly back down)
Ryo Hazuki: I want to get out of this cave.
Shenhua: Or someone teach me to shave.
both: Thats all we really want for christmas this yeeeeeaaaaaaaaar.
(Inside Shenhua's skirt is an enchanted black forest where all kinds of animals and bugs escape from under her dress or try to climb back in)
All these happy wishes and lots of Christmas cheer is all we really want --this-- year!
(during this segment, the nicelanders from wreck it ralph always come on screen no matter where the scene takes place and wave jazz hands while singing this chant in a comedic fashion)
--verse 2--
Tom nook: I want more chumps to put in dept.
Human girl: I want sunflowers on my bed.
both: Thats all we really want for christmas -this- year.
(she then purchases the bed from the nook-n-go and hands a sack of bells to nook who then does a two finger wave/salute)
Call of duty guy: I want a game that doesn't lag. (escorting soldiers out of a plane to parachute into the battlefield)
Sackboy: I just wanna dress in drag. (prancing in a blonde wig and long red dress)
both: Thats all we really want for christmas -this- year.
Megaman: I just wanna get respect.
BUG: I wanna take up painting! (bug is painting a picasso like portrait of himself)
Bubsy the bobcat: I just want ano-ther second chance. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG!?? (Bubsy dives around like a maniac)
Iwata (the president of Nintendo): I want a machine users can't hack.
Spyro the dragon: I just want my old life back.
both: Thats all we really want for christmas -this- year.
Sonic the hedgehog: I want another game that doesn't suck.
Tails: Poo on you, we're out of luck.
both: We don't even know how we ended up heeeeeeeeerrrreeeeee.
(Sonic and Tails are both stranded on a cold mountain top during a blizzard, freezing to death by a small fire.)
All these happy wishes and lots of Christmas cheer is all we really want --this-- year!
--verse 3--
Fergie Fudgehog: I wanna hide in a candy truck.
Langston Lickatoad: Sorry Fergie, your out of luck. Even if it kills me, you're outta heeerrreeee.
(Langston then stomps on a giant button hidden in the grass that catapults Fergie towards the viva pinata canonatta to send him to a party.)
Fergie: Oh Fuuuuuddddggggeeee........!!!!
Bayonetta: I want an angel in my bed.
Dante: Or some dude to give me head.
both: Thats all we really want for christmas -this- year.
(Bayonetta is spread out on a bed with her legs open trying to seduce new Dante who's obviously blushing scared as hell to do it with her, implying that he's gay.)
Ethan from Heavy Rain: I just want my son back safe.
Aiai from super monkey ball: I just want bananas!
Minecraft Steve: I just wanna have sex with this pig! ...Come here!! (punches a random innocent pig)
Pig: Squeeeee!!!
Mario: I just want some time away from work.
Toad: Im sick of being pushed around by this jerk.
both: Thats all we really want for christmas -this- year.
(Toad, who was holding a minature bb rifle then aims it at mario and attempts to shoot him for all the years he endured of mario treating him like crap.)
Toad: *bam* *bam* I'll kill you, you son of a bitch!!... *bam* *bam*
Sarah Palin: I think the parents are to blame.
Sora from Kingdom Hearts: I'm sick of all these spin-off games. (comes in holding tons of spin off titles)
both: We just want a break from Christmas -this- yeeeeeeeeaaaaaarrr.
(Sarah Palin was in city hall addressing the press about her stance on video games when Sora comes in holding a ton of KH spin-offs in his arms, desperate for kingdom hearts 3)
All these happy wishes and lots of Christmas cheer is all we really want --this-- year!
Ralph: Wow, those guys sure are busy, I wonder who else out there is having a good time?
--verse 4--
Dead space guy: I would like a game thats less intence.
Rayman: Or something that makes more sence.
both: Thats all we really want for christmas -this- year.
(the dead space guy was walking through creepy hospital corridors with a small flashlight scared out of his whits when the screen splits over to rayman origins while rayman is surrounded by nonsence and his retarded friends chasing a butterfly in the scenery)
(a monster then eats the dead space guy as rayman on his side of the split screen looks on nervously as he watches the dead space guy screams in pain as his head gets eaten)
Monster: Grrrrrooooowwwwllllllllll!!!
Dead space guy; Oh God!!...
Niko Bellic from GTAIV: Someone to teach me how to swim.
Claude from GTA3: I just wanna blow up everything!!!
both: Thats all we really want for christmas -this- yeeeaaaaar.
(Claude fires an ak47 on crowds of innocent pedestrians then throws flaming cocktails towards a police car that's just pulled over.)
Pedestrians: *SCREEEEAAAAAMMMMMMM!!!*... *BOOM!!!*
Tony Hawks: I just wanna skating game, where fans stop complaining.
Modnation racers cover guy: I really wish this guy would move his ass! *honk* *honk* HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!
Fat Princess: I could eat a turkey for a snack
Octopus Dad: A game where youngsters dont talk back.
both: Thats all we really want for christmas -this- year.
Zack from DOA5: I just wanna squeeze your rack.
Tina: Give up, that's not gonna happen Zack. We both know my dad's watching from the reeeaaarrrrrrrr.
(Zack and Tina are in a sports car together with Bass Armstrong hiding in the trunk spying on them.)
Bass: Tiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!....
All these happy wishes and lots of Christmas cheer is all we really want ----this---- year!
--verse 5--
Zelda: I wanna guy who's really buff (tied up)
Link: Excuse me, bitch! I'm not enough!?? Ahh who are we kidding we both know I'm queeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
(Zelda is tied up and being held hostage, wishing for a stronger hero, Link then prances in offended, does a few 'gay stereotypical hand gestures then does a ballerina twirl and holds his ass out for Tingle to spank it, causing Link to giggle.)
Link: Tee-hee-hee!
Shepard from Mass Effect: I'm sick of all this DLC.
(shepard is sitting at a nightclub bar, depressed and staring into his vodka shot glass while a sexy blue alien female bartender cleans glasses behind the counter)
Falco from StarFox: When will there be a game star-ring me?
both: Thats all we really want for christmas -this- year.
The dog from It's a dogs life: I wanna find -a- dog in heat.
Clank from Ratchet and Clank: I really wish Lombax didn't have feet.
both: Thats all we really want for christmas --this-- year.
(Ratchet and Clank share a bed together in Ratchet's apartment but Ratchet keeps snoring loudly and constantly kicks Clank in his sleep.)
Beautiful Katamari kid: I just wanna roll this ball.
Daxter from Jak and Daxter: I wanna go out skating. (Jak and Daxter are at a lake where everyone is skating, crash bandicoot is in the background skidding past the screen)
Lara Croft: I hope he doesn't stick that in my ass! Ohhhhhhh censored!!
(Lara Croft is tied up, about to be raped by the guy from the contraversial reboot trailer that everyone's hyped up about, who's about to stick a burning hot rod up her ass.)
Conker the squirrel: I'm sick of being upstaged by this guy. (behind him is Banjo and Kazooie who come on screen and wave retardedly after chasing giant spiders and punching them for honeycomb pieces)
Super meat boy: Why won't someone let me die? (he's inpaled violently on a spike right next to a giant saw above his head)
both: Thats all we really want for christmas -this- year.
Crypto from destroy all humans: I just wanna destroy all earth-lings
Spongebob Squarepants: I wanna sidekick that does-n't stink.
Patrick: Hey now, we're not even su-pposed to be heeeeeeeerrrrrrreeeeeeeee,
All these happy wishes and lots of Christmas cheer is all we really want ----this---- year!
Everyone who is now together on screen in a white background: Happy holidays everybody!!
Wreck it Ralph: And a Merry Christmas too!
Immediately jump cuts to a black -end- credit screen.
