Meal 28
"What have you summoned?" asked Salazar.
"My most powerful weapon," Wolfcub answered. "Behold the almighty Mountain Dew vending machine!' Slamming her hand against the machine, a can of Mountain Dew fell to the opening at the bottom. Grabbing it, she popped the cap and guzzled it down as fast as she could before crushing the can between her palm and forehead. "That's one down." She tossed it towards Salazar and stared him down.
"Very clever, chica," he told her. "Just the thing you need to rehydrate yourself after roasting in my flames of love. But sadly, such a trick will not save you." Filling his lungs with air, he exhaled a powerful flame at Wolfcub. She dodged out of the way, but the flames hit the vending machine making it begin to melt and then explode. "It seems not even a popular beverage franchise can save you now."
"Don't underestimate the Dew," snapped Wolfcub as she held out her hand and caught one of the cans that exploded out of the machine. Then with amazing reflexes, she stacked more falling cans atop of one another till they formed into an upside down pyramid. "You might be crazy and love stricken with me, but your love doesn't compare to my love of this drink." Snatching up a can with her free hand she opened it and emptied it into her stomach like the first and crushed it and tossed it in the same manner. "That's too. Once I finish eight more I will reveal the instrument of your destruction."
"I'm intrigued to see just what you have in mind," swooned Salazar. "Your fighting spirit delights me to no end."
A strange and powerful sensation of hunger took over the old lady like some sort of primal instinct that overpowered all else. By the time she had returned to her senses it was far too late. The young boy she had cared for was gone. She had devoured his entirety.
"What happened?" moaned Thomas as he started to awaken. He sat up and looked around at the cavern he was hidden in. "How did I end up here? Last thing I recall is that sudden surge of power and then nothing. Maybe Snow ate me and I'm in his stomach, though I suppose that can't be the case since everything isn't covered in pizza."
"Your thoughts always go straight to food every time."
"Mostly just donuts," replied Thomas drooling at the thought of them. "I really like them especially when they are still hot and fresh after just being made and triple glazed over. Oh, and sprinkles! Can't have a good donut without sprinkles."
"Quiet you! Now you're making me hungry."
"Sorry," apologized Thomas. "Say, who are you anyway and where are you? I hear your voice so clearly like you're right in front of me."
"I might be even closer than that."
"Did I fall asleep on you?" he asked. "My bad."
"No you goof. I'm inside you and before say it, you did not eat me. I am inside your head."
"Well, what are you doing in there?" asked Thomas.
"Just biding my time for the moment. But now, I need you to get up. There is something I need you to do for me."
"Why should I?" argued Thomas. "You probably didn't even wipe your feet before going into my head."
"...I'm going to assume you are still groggy from sleep so I'll let that slide. Now get up and start walking. There is something that you need to find for me at once."
"Maybe later," yawned Thomas. "Still a bit sleepy."
"They'll be donuts in it for you."
"Donuts! I'm in!" cheered Thomas as he jumped to his feet and stumbled about. "Whoa! Feel a bit off balance."
"Must be on account of the recent spike in your power. You'll probably notice a few other changes in time too."
"No kidding," commented Thomas noting this paintbrush tail had already changed and was now three tails. They were also a lot different now, more resembling of a fox's tails. There was also slight changes to the rest of this body, though only slight ones so far. "What's happening to me?"
"Transforming of course, but it won't be complete without that thing I need you to find now get to it or no donuts for you."
"Donuts here I come!" shouted Thomas as he charged forward. "Which way should I go to look?"
"No idea. Just start looking."
"Uh, ok," answered Thomas. "And what should I call you?"
"Cyr, uh, just call me Sire."
"Does that mean you are a king or something?" asked Thomas.
"Sure, I'm the king of the donut kingdom. Help me and I'll give you all the donuts you could ever wish for."
"Would be my honor to help you out my liege," stated Thomas in a knightly manner.
"Glad to hear it, sucker."
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
"What have I done?" she sobbed. "How could I have done that? Why did I do it? Why?" As the thoughts plagued her she almost didn't notice the group of boys staring at her from the window. They saw the whole incident and a terrible fear filled their eyes. "Little ones please don't be afraid."
"What was that?" asked Jokull as he saw Vic and Ivy crash into the ground a distance away along with the Flying Spaghetti Monster. "Vic! Ivy! That just can't be."
"It looked like they had a dramatic demise," replied Snow. "Looks like they won't be helping you out now. By the way, how much longer is this spell going to last?"
"We still got about fifteen minutes," answered Jokull. "And you are wrong. No way that those two are gone. They'll be back. Just wait and see."
"I will, but unfortunately you will be beaten and be relocated to my pizza-covered insides," snickered Snow. "Of course, if another of your allies can get here then maybe you won't experience such a terrible fate. It's a shame that all of them are preoccupied with battles of their own. Even if they manage to win there is no way they'd have the time to save you."
"I have faith in them," stated Jokull. "We will defeat you, Snow and save you from the monster that Obamon has turned you into."
"There isn't a force in this world capable of turning me back to the way I was," cackled Snow. Suddenly he stopped and paused for a moment, a curious expression upon his face.
"What is it?" asked Jokull.
"Uh, nothing," he answered. "It just feels like I sensed a presence I hadn't felt for so long. But that's impossible. There's no way he could be here."
"Who are you talking about?" asked Jokull.
"Why should I tell you?" asked Snow.
"How about we play twenty questions to see if I can figure it out," suggested Jokull.
"Why not," agreed Snow. "Got another fifteen minutes to kill and then you are next. For me to kill that is."
"Monster! Demon! Abomination!" they shouted and ran away. The only lady hurried to her window, but they were already long gone. Alone once more, a terrible sadness filled her heart. "All the good I've done is now gone forever, but I fear things will only get worse from here."
"Achoo!" sneezed Drag. "Someone must be talking about me."
"What are you talking about?" asked Glenn.
"Well, I sneezed and they say when you sneeze it's because someone is talking about you," explained Drag.
"They? They who?" asked Glenn.
"I don't know," answered Drag rubbing his nose. "We have to keep going."
"What about lunch?" groaned Glenn rubbing his belly. "Been ages since I last ate and I'm sure it has been at least five minutes since you ate so you must be famished."
"Is that a fat joke?" grumbled Drag before his own stomach gurgled.
"Even if it is, it sounds like it is true," snickered Glenn.
"Well, where are we going to get some food anyway?" asked Drag. "Last I checked there wasn't any food anywhere around here."
"Just leave that to me," stated the Moogle proudly and used his magic, and a table poofed out of nowhere with a chair beside it, a fancy tablecloth atop it along with a pair of candlesticks, a plate, and fancy silverware. Atop the plate was succulent, thick steak next to mashed potatoes with globs of gravy, and some boiled broccoli and cheese.
"Wow, that's some neat magic," drooled Drag sniffing the wonderful food. "Looks good enough to eat."
"It better be," said Glenn as he took a seat. "I'm starved."
"But what about me?" asked Drag eyeing the food. "I'm hungry too."
"I suppose I could give it another try," Glenn replied and focused his magic again. "This time he created a large dog bowl filled with fish. "There you go."
"You've got to be kidding," snapped Drag. "I'm going to eat from a dog dish."
"No," correct Glenn. "That is a dragon dish."
"Well, why does it have the name 'Fido' on it then?" questioned Drag.
"They were out of ones with 'Drag' on it," explained Glenn.
"But wait," stammered Drag. "You made that with magic so that makes no sense!"
"Are you going to keep arguing with me or eat?" asked Glenn. "Everyone is waiting for us."
"Fine," grumbled Drag as he went to pick up the bowl.
"Hey, no using your hands," stated Glenn.
"What? Why not?" cried Drag, his hunger getting impatient.
"Uh, because you don't have any utensils," Glenn told him. "And you wouldn't want to dirty your hands before going into battle. And if you do use your hands I can always make the food disappear."
"What?" whimpered Drag, his belly roaring in disapproval. "You win, but you listen here you fuzzball. You utter one word about this at all and I'll eat you next."
"You have my solemn vow that not one word about this will come out of my mouth," he replied.
Cautiously, Drag lowered his head and started to eat. He stopped when a sudden clicking sound caught his attention and he looked around. "What was that?" asked Drag to Glenn.
"Just your imagination," replied Glenn stifling a laugh and slipping his smart phone into his pocket. "Now be a good dragon and eat up."
They ate their food quick and once they were done they patted their stomachs and let out a belch. "Ok, we had some food so we're nice and ready for anything."
"Almost anything," replied Glenn fidgeting about. "I need to use the little Moogle's room. It wouldn't be a good idea to fight on a full bladder."
"Then poof up a bathroom so we can go and be on our way," suggested Drag. "And if I see a fire hydrant you are dead meat."
The old lady was right. Work quickly spread about the cabin in the woods with the monster disguised as an old lady that would fatten up wayward visitors and eat them. Groups of men entered into the forest armed with swords, spears, axes, and torches to kill the best and burn it's home to cinders. Seeing the flames of their torches getting closer, the old lady fell to her knees in sorrow. "I didn't want to die alone," she sobbed. "But even more than that, I didn't want to die so hated and despised."
Their instruments tuned and their fingers were properly flexed. Vincent and Rhodes stood a few feet apart on the front of Dillon's head and Donavin had his drums set up a few feet behind them. He gently tapped on his drums, getting into a rhythm. Vincent and Rhodes practiced a few cords feeling the nostalgia of practicing in days long gone.
"We haven't had a jam session in ages," commented Rhodes. "I almost forgot how excited I am to play a new song."
"Yeah," agreed Donavin. "I'm excited too. Excited, and a bit scared since this might be our last session for the three of us playing together."
"It doesn't have to be," Vincent told them.
"If you are going to try and change our minds you are wasting your time," Donavin stated. "The only thing uniting us now is the music and even that won't be enough save you."
"Be that as it may," sighed Vincent. "I still want to believe in us and our music. Now enough warming up, it's time to rock!"
Looking out into the scenery in front of them, it was just the vast barren world they were stuck in by Obamon. However, as the trio looked, they imagined they were on a huge stage surround by thousands of fans cheering and adoring them. Despite the volume of the audience and the bright lights blaring down at them, the only thing that mattered to them was the music. Then they started playing. Their instruments sent out vibrations that had the audience grow even more excited, but not enough to overpower the music. The trio played like they had played the song a million times and it was not something that had just come to them. And as the music flowed, they started to sing.
Obamon!
She's coming to get you!
Obamon!
She's gonna get you now!
Obamon!
You're in her clutches! There is no escape from her!
Obamon!
She's a dear old dragon lady with pretty pink apron.
She has leather scales and sharp white teeth and a pair of bifocals!
She's gonna sit you down with meals aplenty.
Fatten you up so she can eat you up!
And there's no escape!
From OBAMON!!!
Oba! [Obamon!]
Oba! [Obamon!]
A sweet old lady or a busty demon!
You decide!
But you cannot run! [And you cannot hide!]
You're already under her spell!
The spell of...
OBAMON!!!
Oba! [Obamon!]
Oba! [Obamon!]
Oba!!!
OBAMON!!!
It's all over now!
There's no way to win!
The feast has begun!
For Obamon!!!
Their voices echoed with their music and they listened as it faded. The trio breathed heavily, sweat covering them over from the single song, their hearts racing with excitement that slowly vanished as reality started to set back in on them. The first to recover was Vincent who quickly snatched up Rhodes's keytar.
"What do you think you're doing?" he shouted as he lunged at Vincent to no avail. Vincent then forced Donavin off his seat and held up both instruments, preparing to slam them down on the third.
"Are you crazy?" cried Donavin. "Do you have any idea what will happen all three of the instruments are played together like that? You'll kill us all!"
"If that's what it takes," replied Vincent. "If you are on Obamon's side then I have to stop you no matter the cost."
"But what's the point?" asked Rhodes. "Just listen to our lyrics. There is no point to fighting against Obamon. She cannot be beaten."
"Never put too much stock into your own songs," commented Vincent as the smashed the three instruments together and a colossal shockwave of sound exploded out in every direction from the source atop Dillon's head. The ground shook violently and chunks of ground broke off and fell away into the void lessening the already diminished amount of ground they had to fight on.
The sounds waves also carried Vincent, Rhodes, and Donavin in three separate directions from one another, smashing their ragdoll bodies into the ground miles apart. They cratered into the ground and got buried under the debris they created by crashing into the ground. In the areas where Rhodes and Donavin were buried, a shadowy figure emerged out and vanished. After that, there was nothing but silence. Back where they had played their music, the ice around Dillon began to crack all over. The fingers on his outreached arm twitched and chunks of ice broke off of it.
It was in this moment the old lady recalled the other gift she was given, the book. She hurried to her closet where it was kept just as the men with torches set foot on her property. Hurriedly, she tossed aside the clutter in the way as she could hear a pounding on her door. By the time she found it, the door was forced in and the men hurried in two at time. As she made her way out of the door, she was already cornered.
"So, this is the monster that ate that child and who knows how many other," one of the men spat as he approached her. "All these years, you lived here pretending to be a kind, caring, lady helping travelers on their way when this was really your den of deceptions."
"Please," she begged. "I didn't mean to. I don't know what happened and now my heart aches with regret. It was because of that man. That man cloaked in a black shroud. Something he left me, made me do it. If I had known it was something so evil I never would have touched it." Tears flowed down her face as she pleaded, but the men didn't waver even a little.
"You claim to be a victim, but is that all you can give us," asked the man. "It was a man in a black cloak, but that is hardly enough to identify him. This could all be a lie to save your sorry self. Fake stories and false tears."
"I swear to you it is all true," she cried. "I can show you it all. Like this book. It must also have some dark power within it."
Snatching the book from her, the man flip through the pages, but his expression only grew more agitated. "This is just a blank book!" he shouted. "Is that the best a pathetic beast like you can do to save yourself?" He shoved the book back at her and forced her to the ground. "We didn't come here to listen to excuses and lies. The sole truth is that we have come to punish you for your wicked ways. Now stop hiding your true form and show us what ugliness lies inside." Grabbing at her clothes he tore some of it off. The other men joined in stripping her down to nothing. The old lady held the book over her body to cover it, frightened and humiliated, but at the same time anger swelling up too.
"I did so much to help so many and this is how I will die?" she wailed. "Defiled, loathed, and chastised without mercy and my pleas ignored? I have never felt like this before. I'm so full of anger and hatred to those who come to my home. Now I am telling you, no I am ordering you! Get out of house this instant!"
"Don't you dare talk back to us you monster!" the man shouted. "You have no say in what happens now. You are going to pay for the atrocities you have committed right here and right now with your life!" Drawing his sword, he held it up high above the old lady to smite her in one deadly blow.
"You think I'll let you do what you want and mess around with me?" shouted Kill to Nocturne. "Just because you have some weird power doesn't mean you are going to get the best of me."
"Of course not," he chuckled. "That's because I've had the upper hand even before this point. I'm sure this must be aggravating for you. After all, normally you are the one unparalleled and villainous. Now you are no longer the villain and you are not even the hero. How can you expect to win?"
"I just expect to," he answered as he started to focus his magic into his hands. "I haven't used this spell in a while, but let's see you try and beat me when you weigh more than a planet with fat." Kill fired the fattening spell out at the stars the formed Nocturne's body, but the spells went through him like he wasn't even there.
"Well you expect too much you foolish tanuki," Nocturne told him. "But that fat spell was interesting. How about I give it a try?" Magical energy glowed around Nocturne's massive hands. As he unleashed the magic onto Kill it rained down on him, drenching his body in the transforming magic. His body started to tingle all over. Suddenly, his rear burst outward as tons of lard were quickly added to each cheek. His stomach was quick to follow as he shot out six feet from where it started. The suddenly weight change sent Kill onto his rear just as his thighs and legs thickened with fat. His arms fattened up just as fat as his legs and dropped to his sides like they had sandbags weighing them down. His hands and feet also plumped up right down to his digits. Kill's back fat increased along with his chest that got a pair of massive moobs atop his mammoth belly. His neck then vanished as a trio of chins ran down over his moobs and his face swelled from the added fat. But the gaining had only just begun as his body fattened larger and larger, his rear leaving a crater-like impression in the ground that continued to get larger and larger. His body lost all detail as fat rounded him out. His hands and feet vanished under the blubber on his arms and legs and then his arms and legs were done in by his expanding torso.
"Too fat," mumbled Kill barely able to move his mouth to speak with his enormous cheeks muffling him. "I can't move, but he's still making me fatter and fatter."
"Heheheh," snickered Nocturne as he watched Kill fatten more and more before his eyes. "1 ton! 2 tons! 5 tons! 10 tons! 100 tons! 1,000,000, tons! What could be heavier than all of that? Why you, of course, Kill! Fattest thing alive! Don't you love it?"
"I'd much rather be the one doing the fattening than be fattened," he argued.
"What was that?" asked Nocturne. "You want me to eat you? Oh, how silly, to be devoured by food rather than to eat the food, but then again, this has been a rather reversed happening for you hasn't it?" Kill attempted to retort, but the fat on his face had finally covered over his mouth that anything he said was inaudible. His words only allowed him to jiggle about.
Stopping the fattening, Nocturne lifted up the massive tanuki and despite its weight it was an effortless job. Nocturne opened his mouth, a black hole within it that was already pulling Kill in with its powerful suction. Thoughts raced through Kill's mind as he was slowly forced into the monster to be devoured.
"At least this will be painless," he thought.
"You jerk!" roared Tagmer as he brought down his mighty foot down on Kill's royal jewels with all his might and rage. Kill's eyes shot open and he wailed in absolute agony from the immeasurable pain. It didn't end there as Tagmer stomped on them over and over again relentlessly to Kill's dismay and only stopped when he felt he had sated his anger. "That's what you get for shooting me in the mouth. The only thing I want shoved down my throat is food, preferable something highly-fattening and made of cow."
"And you retaliated by crushing my kiwis?" cried Kill, his voice squeakier after the incident. "Wait, how are you still alive?"
"It was close, but I managed to use my magic to heal me just in time," answered Tagmer. "I have to admit, you were a lot faster than I expected you were."
"But then I turned you into a bomb and made you explode," added Kill. "Though, now that I think about it, where is the damage from that explosion and the butt crater I made? And what about Nocturne? None of this makes any sense."
"You made me explode?" asked Tagmer, his foot itching to get back to stomping. "Sounds like you were just dreaming. You were asleep on the floor till now."
"I was asleep?" asked Kill. "Then I was somehow put to sleep without even noticing. That explains why I was so helpless if the other guy had control over everything, but where is he now?" Kill's curiosity was answered as a dark smoke suddenly exited from his head and reformed back into Nocturne's original form.
"I was so close," he groaned. "You were almost a permanent resident of the dream world, but you were woken up and by this guy. Seems you are a softie. You couldn't even kill him when you had the chance."
"I would have," argued Kill. "But you put me to sleep before I had the chance. Seems you are just a big disappointment. You are all powerful alright, but only in your dreams. I'm the invincible one in reality so now I'm going to get you back for all that you did to me a million fold."
"Don't get all cocky cause you got lucky and escaped," Nocturne snapped. "I'll put you back to sleep again and we'll pick up right where we left off."
"Just try, but I already have a way to counter it," explained Kill. "Cause now the two of us are fighting to defeat you!"
"Am I the one dreaming now?" asked Tagmer. "You offered to do a team up and the one you are teaming up with is me?"
"I don't want to," he spat. "Good guy-bad guy team ups are so lame and always full of double-crosses and dumb meaningful lessons and bonding. However, if he can put us to sleep in an instant then we're doomed. Our only chance is to wake each other up before than to stop him. But I'm going to make this clear right now, never, ever, ever stomp on my nut sac again, ever!!!"
"I promise I'll never do that again," answered Tagmer with claws crossed behind his back.
"Good for whatever that's worth," replied Kill. "Now one last thing before we begin, is it your birthday?"
"No, you are off by a bit," stated Tagmer.
"Well consider this a late birthday gift, or an early one," said Kill as he materialized a strange demonic-looking fruit in his hands. "In fact, consider this a gift for every birthday I missed and will miss. This counts as a gift for all your birthdays ever. But this is just between us. Nobody must ever know about it so we shall never speak of any of this ever again."
"Well what is it?" asked Tagmer.
"I said never speak of this ever again!" cried Kill.
"Meh, whatever," said Tagmer as he stuffed the fruit in his maw and munched it down.
The old lady waited for the blade to end her life, but it did not come. As she opened her eyes to look, she saw the man frozen in position and so were all the others like time had stopped. "What happened?" she asked as she got to her feet.
"I stopped time for you," said a voice that was too unique to mistake. She turned to see it was the cloaked man standing before her.
"You!" she cried. "What have you done to me? Why did you ruin my life?"
"I did not ruin it," he chuckled. "I simply changed it. It can only be ruined if you choose to let these men slay you."
"But what can I do?" she sobbed. "There is nothing I can do to protect myself. When they can move again I will be killed and remembered only as a despicable monster."
"That is why I have come to change your fate," he told her. "And the book I gave you is the key to that. Simply inscribe a name in the book everything will be right once more."
"You are lying," she argued. "You gave me these cursed items and don't intend for my life to return to how it was."
"And you are no longer the kind, pure lady you once were," he replied. "Going back is impossible now, but a new path is open to you. Just do as I say and I guarantee you won't regret it. A new world is just a page turn away."
The figure vanished and left the old lady alone with the book. Slowly she opened it to the first page and read the only words that came with the book. "This book belongs too..." Picking up a quill and dipping it in the ink she tried to write her name, but she drew a blank on what it was. Instead, her hand started to write letters almost on instinct and when it finished she read what was written, "Obamon."
Salazar spewed flames all over the field, the rock and stone underfoot reaching near melting temperatures. Wolfcub kept light on her feet as she dodged the flames while holding onto her cans of soda. When the opportunity was available, she popped the top in another can and guzzled all the drink down before crushing the cup and tossing it aside.
"Five more cans to go," panted Wolfcub before belching fiercely.
"Five more until what, chica?" asked Salazar. "I'm so very curious. It must be something incredible since all you have been doing so far has been avoiding me."
"That's the surprise," she explained. "And if I was you I wouldn't be so eager to find out."
"True, but I find it a terrible waste to burn you to a crisp," he admitted. "Such a waste of such beauty, but seeing as dehydration won't work now I have another method. Notice how much harder it is to breathe?"
"The flames are eating up the oxygen," she coughed. "I'll suffocate if this keeps up, but I got a solution to that."
"And what would that be?" he chuckled as he prepared another powerful flame. Quick to the draw, Wolfcub took two of her cans and shook them violently before opening them. Two powerful streams shot out into Salazar's maw and all over him, dousing his flames and getting him drenched.
As the contents emptied, Wolfcub crushed the cans then began to chug another soda while Salazar attempted to dry off and regain his flames. "Two more to go," said Wolfcub as she crushed the can then started to drink another with all her haste. She raced against Salazar as his flames began to return to his sticky body. In seconds, she emptied the ninth can and began to down the tenth and final can. As she neared the bottom of the can it began to glow as did all the other cans that were laid out in a circle around Salazar.
"Looks like you're preparing for a very devastating attack," he stated looking at all the glowing cans. "My scales are tingling from the power welling up over here."
"Too bad you didn't act to do anything about it before hand," retorted Wolfcub as she crushed the last cup and dropped it to the ground.
"I didn't need to," he answered as he placed his hand on the ground and sent a burst of fire into it. It emerged underneath the crushed cans and sent them flying toward Wolfcub. As they landed a powerful light burst out from all of them and enveloped her body before she had time to react, to even scream. "This will be the most beautiful death of all I must say, swallowed by the might of your own power, my love."
