This is a journal; This is a confession; This is exasperation; This is desperation; This is a cry for help; This is catharsis; This is therapy; This is praxis.
Is this melodramatic? It probably is, but I don't care.
Whatever it is, I'm simply fed up with the state of things surrounding my art: the world around me, the community it's a part of, my work ethic, headspace, disabilities, and mental illness. I decided to make something about it on the off chance that saying the things inside my head out loud might help to dislodge something that's been severely jamming up the works.
I'm sorry that I'm like this, and I'd prefer it if I wasn't; but I likewise wish things could have been better for me and my art in a thousand little ways that have all added up over the years of me doing this.
Consider this a plea for anyone who can help in any way, to do so - while acknowledging at the same time that I am part of "anyone," and that I've been trying my hardest to do so, too. I need reliable, consistent work, I need patrons, and I need reassurance that people will care about the things I truly want to make so that I'll be okay.
I obviously understand very well that I am ultimately the one most responsible for myself, and while acknowledging my own limits, I want to do better. Ideally, the best that I can.
I just need more help, because ultimately; I'm still only one bun.
You can see my work way earlier by pledging to my website, and support me making more in the process!
I know more then a few artist who suffer this way or very close to it so your definatly not alone. I wish I could give some advice or words of encouragement that I knew would solve your problems or at least make things easier but nothings that simple of it was, the problem wouldent BE a problem in the first place.
All I CAN say is this.
I dont fell like this is melodrama, it's very legitimate, very real, creations allways looks easier then it is. I apreciate the work you do, know that...art is for the artist...but it can be enjoyed in all its forms by others, in this way it is truly beautiful.
I know more then a few artist who suffer this way or very close to it so your definatly not alone. I
First of all, good on you for being so open with yourself about your challenges and fears. Too few people are. Money, relationships, and self-worth are always a challenge, no matter how well off you are... Turning your passion into the income you rely on can be a trap, both for making that passion a source of pain, and for the fact that creativity can't just be turned on and off on a whim. The best I can recommend is to pace yourself as well as possible. Don't let other people's demands drive you, work at a pace that you can still enjoy your own creations. For projects, I'd recommend linking up with other creators. Chat over whatever app works best (I'm subscribed to a few on discord myself) and discuss the challenges and rewards. The artists I've virtually met have for the most part been pretty open minded and have gone through similar issues. Either way, you are an awesome person. Never forget it.
First of all, good on you for being so open with yourself about your challenges and fears. Too few p
"I need a world that doesn't want me and mine dead" resonates so gd hard...
This isn't melodrama. It's vent art, it's putting yourself out there, it's getting a lot of emotions curled up in you *out* and I always appreciate when someone finds the courage to post things of this nature.
Unfortunately, I'm not exactly sure where to start. 'Draw the first line' works. 'Take the first step' is along the same line; find one creator you resonate with. Or maybe a small community (my little group of friends in a gaming server, and in a writing and chill server have done wonders for me). One little step, one little connection, one little piece of knowledge.
And I know that trying to look at the big picture for too long - how long the trip is, how many steps it'll take, how uncertain it is - is completely overwhelming. Or has the huge potential to be. I live by the mantra 'handle what I can handle, influence what's in my reach' to keep reminding myself that while I can't...change laws, make people be less of an asshole to one another, so on...I can surround myself with support, and give that same support to elevate others. I can make my household one I'm not fearful in, I can be part of a community that makes me feel comfortable and destress because of it.
I dunno if any of my ramblings even make sense when held up to what you might need.
I just couldn't let this go without a response. You're one of my favorite follows on this site. <3
"I need a world that doesn't want me and mine dead" resonates so gd hard... This isn't melodrama.
This world, this life is the most simple, yet complicated thing we will ever know. But The thing i feel burns most people is not accepting that they are themselves, they arent perfect and that they dont need to apologise for not being perfect. The simple answer is accepting who you are, accepting limitiations and setting out a path, if you arent happy with who you are, if theres a blemish that you want to fix, then set out a plan to fix it, if its something you cant do then you’ll just have to accept that you are human and theres limits. Live as if you will die tomorrow, learn as if you will live forever. We are on this planet on a flying visit, if what ever your feeling isnt pushing you forward then its not worth your time worrying over, be the person you want to be, not what you think the world wants you to be.
This world, this life is the most simple, yet complicated thing we will ever know. But The thing i
