29 November 2024
Pickles was struggling to sleep in bed while Cucumber was still asleep next to him. So he was squirming around feeling like he had chess pains at night and he accidentally bumps his elbow onto Cucumber and it woke her up.
Cucumber: Huh? What is it? It's 4 in the morning.
Pickles: Mama! No! No!!
Cucumber: Pickles? Are you having a bad dream?
Pickles: Mama!!
Cucumber: (Punches him in the arm to wake him up and he did)
Pickles: Daah! It was just a dream.
Cucumber: Were you having a bad dream Pickles?
Pickles: I was. And I was having visions of.. my mother.. she's alive.. I know it.
Cucumber: Is your cousin alive too?
Pickles: Sadly yes. I know that idiot still lives with my mama.
Cucumber: Why does he still live with her when he's like... your age?
Pickles: I dunno, I'm just taking a guess because it's been decades since I last spoken with Vinegar and my mama.
Cucumber: What do you want me to do about it? Anything, you name it.
Pickles: Well, This afternoon, we should fly to Alabama to see if my mama is still alive. I know she still lives in Alabama.
Cucumber: Are you sure you want to do this? What if it doesn't work out?
Pickles: Oh it's gonna!
They went back to sleep, hours have passed and they both wake up and get dressed and have their breakfast and get ready to leave their dorm to fly to Alabama to see where Pickles' grew up. They board the plane to Birmingham, Alabama and they land in the airport and they take a look around the city where Pickles grew up in. Pickles knew a lot about the city and told facts about the places he went to when he was a kid. When some of the citizens looked at Pickles, they were happy to see Pickles return to Alabama for the first time in years. They were happy to see him and some of the people didn't really recognize him but they did know Salty, Pickles' father who died in 1979. And there was even a group of stripper girls standing by the bar that Salty used to go to with Todd. They even acted flirty to Pickles saying how handsome he was but he was embarrassed because Cucumber is literally walking next to him. They walked all the way from the airport to a rural area which wasn't too far at least. This rural area is where Pickles used to live when he was a kid. Luckily he remembered the way to his old house. His visions were right, his mother is still alive, she's washing her windows on her house and Vinegar is helping her out.
Pickles: There she is.. and my stupid ass cousin...
Cucumber: Aren't you going to say hello?
Pickles: Alright.. here we go.
Pickles walks slowly to his mother but she doesn't really recognize Pickles because of her age. Her memory was kinda fuzzy as she's getting old.
Pickles: Excuse me ma'am, Need any help?
Shirley: Who are you? Why are you in my property???
Pickles: Mama! Open your eyes! It's me! Pickles!
Shirley: The Pickle that was my son and left without tellin' me he's havin' a life????
Pickles: Yes mama!
Shirley: Ohhhh! Pickles!! So nice to see ya! (Hugs him tight) Look how good you are! You were not that handsome last time I saw you!
Pickles: Heheh..
Vinegar: Hey aunt Shirley! He has a girlfriend!
Shirley: A girlfriend? You mean that lion tamer with a patterned hat?
Pickles: Umm.. she's.. she's-
Cucumber: I'm Cucumber.
Shirley: The travel photographer?
Cucumber: Yeah
Shirley: I heard lots about ya! I'm Shirley! Shirley Shepherd! You look pretty in person!
Cucumber: Thank you! And who is this cowboy right here?
Vinegar: I'm Vinegar! Vinegar Hollingsworth! Boy, you are WILD!! WOOWEE!!
Cucumber: Sheesh..
Vinegar: This Cockapoo is just.. rockin!!
Cucumber: He's excited alright.
Vinegar: Girl! You's beautiful! Just as beautiful as that waitress at the bar with a butt like yours!
Pickles: (Gets irritated from Vinegar trying to hit on Cucumber) Alright! I've had it!
Pickles pushes Vinegar to the ground and they start fighting each other throwing insults to each other yelling and cussing at each other even hitting and punching each other.
Cucumber: (Sigh) Not what I expected..
Shirley: BOYS!!! That's enough!! I didn't want those kinda things to happens to see my little Pickle!
Vinegar: He started it!
Shirley: And I'm ending it! You two be nice! You're a grown ass man and you haven't seen your cousin in years!
Pickles: Thank you mama, me and Cucumber are gonna go walking around this neighborhood to show her around.
Vinegar: Can I go too?
Shirley: Are you gonna behave?
Vinegar: Yes Aunt Shirley.
Shirley: Off you go then.
Pickles: God fucking dammit. We got Gilbert fucking grape tagging along with the photographers..
Cucumber: Pickles! He's your cousin!
Pickles: I don't give a shit!
Cucumber: Pickles! If you're gonna wait for your cousin to change, it won't happen. Let's just let him clear the air with us.
Pickles: Fine. I'll do it for the sake of our relationship.
Cucumber: Attaboy.
Vinegar: So Cucumber, Are you really from Africa? Was it nice there?
Cucumber: Yes I am. it wasn't perfect there. Me and my sister weren't very rich because Africa is poor. So I moved out of Africa in the 90s to be a travel photographer.
Vinegar: And then..?
Cucumber: Then I met your cousin. He is a hot piece of ass.
Vinegar: So are you!
And the 3 walk around the neighborhood, they pass a house Vinegar and Pickles recognizes too well. It's their grumpy and bigoted neighbor O'Harold. Vinegar was the first to tell Pickles that it's O'Harold's house and he was of course still alive. Pickles and Vinegar hated that guy because of how grouchy he is.
Vinegar: Hey O'Harold! Look who I found!
Pickles: Oh great..
O'Harold: What do you want, Hollingsworth?!
Vinegar: This is Pickles!
O'Harold: Pickles?! No! It can't be! Why the hell are you here?!
Pickles: I'm just seeing my mama again.
O'Harold: Oh really? Some redneck coming back for his whore headed mommy to hide from me? Wow..
Pickles: I ain't afraid of your ass, O'Harold! I'm a grown ass man!
O'Harold: If you're a grown ass man, then you don't need your mama no more! My sister told me all that.
Cucumber: Your sister? Well tell her to get a life and suck your balls!
O'Harold: Mind your tongue you undocumented bitch! I want you people to leave my neighborhood! You hear me?!
Cucumber: I'm sorry what? You people?!
Pickles: Me and Cucumber love each other! I love her and she loves me!
O'Harold: Well it ain't natural I'll tell ya. I suggest you two stay away from that negro lady and the only loving you'll be doing is on a pillow using the hole on it! (Steals Cucumber's hat and walks off)
Cucumber: Ah! Hey! Give it back old man!
Pickles: Come on Cucumber, he's not worth it. Let's go see the others neighbors.
Cucumber: I don't know Pickles. I'm hurt. That old man hates me and he doesn't even know me.
Vinegar: What's to know? You're not an American, He hates Africans, Mexicans, Chinese, you name it.
Cucumber: Well if he hates me, I'll hate him back!
Pickles: Uhhh I dunno if it's a good idea.
Cucumber: But he stole my hat! This hat is my life!
Pickles: Relax honey, O'Harold is a dick but he's no Brock nor Vladimir. We'll get it back from him but for now, let's find my neighbor Peggy, she's nice.
Cucumber: Okay.
They continue their walk around the neighbor to greet Pickles' friends that reside and they find Shirley's close neighbor Peggy. A charming hedgehog who is easy for Shirley to get along with. She even loves kids and is very nice to kids. Pickles then pretends to act like he doesn't know Peggy by complimenting her cactuses she put up by her house.
Pickles: Hey! I like your cactus! Looks neat!
Peggy: Thank you young man!
Vinegar: My cousin thinks your cactus could poke someone's eyes out!
Peggy: Oh Vinegar! My cactus is just fi- Wait.. Pickles? Is that you?
Pickles: Yes Indeedy Peggy!
Peggy: My my my! Look how you've grown! You're still a neat boy no matter how old you are! And you're a man that you found yourself a girlfriend!
Cucumber: Ummm.. Hi Peggy! I'm Cucumber!
Peggy: Even better! A name related to this boy's name!
Cucumber: Totally unintentional heheh.. I'm a world's famous travel photographer and Pickles has been my assistant since the 90s.
Peggy: And that's where he's been all these years?
Pickles: Yup. And 30 years later, I've come to say what up to you guys in case something bad happens.
Peggy: Oh how nice of you to come back to Alabama to visit us! Did you say hello to your mom?
Pickles: I did. And along came this.. this.. guy. What are you up to, Peg?
Peggy: Oh, some nice guy is washing Vinegar's motorcycle in my yard.
Pickles: Why your yard?
Vinegar: Because Aunt Shirley won't let me park my motorcycle in her house. Her rules are just.. draconian.
Peggy: Wanna come look? You're gonna like that nice guy who's cleaning the motorcycle, Boy this Joshua sure is a nice fella!
Pickles: (Surprised) Joshua? That name rings a bell.
Pickles was surprised to hear the name Joshua because that's the same name as his childhood best friend. So he nervously follows Peggy to see Vinegar's motorcycle being cleaned and polished. Peggy announces that she has visitors wanting to see the motorcycle being polished and cleaned. And the truth is, It really is Joshua, Pickles' childhood best friend from school. Joshua hated polishing and cleaning motorcycles and his hatred was large as he is cleaning Vinegar's motorcycle because he also hated Vinegar when they were little.
Vinegar: You better not scratch my precious motorcycle Joshua!
Joshua: I'm being as careful as I can, quit breakin' my balls!
Vinegar: I'm not tryin' to! I'm informing you to take good care of my motorcycle!
Joshua: God you're so naïve, Vinegar. I shoulda kicked your ass at your 7th birthday party.
Vinegar: Well I shoulda shoved my cake at yours and Pickles' faces! Speaking of, He's here!
Joshua: Wait.. Pickles is with you?
Pickles: Joshua!
Joshua: Oh hey Pickles! Long time no see dude! And what a surprise! You brought the famous Cucumber with ya! My make a wish came true!
Pickles: You actually remember that time I ruined Vinegar's birthday party?
Joshua: Damn right I do! Those were good times dude. And Cucumber, glad to meet you in person but.. where's your hat you usually wear?
Cucumber: That old fart stole it from me.
Joshua: O'Harold? He's a real son of a bitch am I right?
Pickles: I hate him. When will he die?
Vinegar: Beats me. I want him to die too.
Pickles: But you always drag me into his property and get me in deep shit!
Vinegar: I thought it was funny!
Pickles: Well it ain't funny getting my ass in trouble I'll tell ya!
Vinegar: Well it ain't funny pranking me on my 7th birthday I'll tell ya!
Joshua: (Throws a wrench at Vinegar's face) Shut the fuck up you annoying sack of shit!
Pickles: Hahahaha! Good one Joshua! God I miss those days!
Joshua: Me too Pickles.
Vinegar: Oww.
Joshua: By the way, your motorcycle is sparkly clean, fuck face.
Vinegar: (Looks at it and there's no scratches and it looks better than ever) Good! You're lucky I didn't have to cook your ass!
Cucumber: So.. is this what you do? Polish motorcycles?
Joshua: Yes. This is my job and I don't really enjoy it much but at least it pays me well.
Pickles: Anyways, it's good seeing you Joshua!
Joshua: You too, and good to meet you Cucumber! You're hot!
Cucumber: Heheheh. Hey Vinegar, is it okay if we take a spin on your motorcycle?
Vinegar: Sure! Hop in but I get to drive it!
Pickles: What?! But he doesn't even know how to drive a fuckin' tricycle!
Cucumber: Pickles! Don't prejudge, we'll just have to find out.
Vinegar hops on his motorcycle along with Cucumber & Pickles. Vinegar starts up the engine and starts doing a few revs on his motorcycle and starts going slow and gentle for the sake of Cucumber. Pickles was holding onto Cucumber tight as he can while she holds on to Vinegar while he's driving. He did his best to not go too fast because he didn't want to let Cucumber fall off.
Vinegar: Well?
Cucumber: Kinda cool.
Pickles: Ummm.. Kinda.. competent how you learned to drive this thing.
Vinegar: I have a plan to get your hat back, Cucumber.
Cucumber: You do?
Vinegar: Let's just be quiet and sneak to O'Harold's house and get it back. Once we get it back, we'll run the fuck away from him!
Pickles: I dunno if that's a good idea, Vinegar.
Vinegar: Look do you want the lady's hat back or not?
Pickles: Fine!
Vinegar parks his motorcycle a little far off by O'Harold's house so they can retrieve Cucumber's hat he stole from her. They start by tip toeing into his house and O'Harold forgot to close the door. Hoping that O'Harold wasn't home, he was asleep on the couch watching boring TV shows. When they got inside his house, they acted as quiet as they could to get Cucumber's hat back without getting hurt. As Cucumber was reaching for her hat that O'Harold has it laid on his stomach and when she was about to touch her hat, O'Harold passed gas and presumably soiled his adult diaper. Cucumber was disgusted and she puts her shirt over her nose so she can't smell the disgusting odor from O'Harold's farts and then tries again to get the hat back and she gently grabbed the hat slowly from O'Harold while he's asleep so it wouldn't wake him up. She finally got her hat back and then they run out of his house but they didn't run out of the house quietly. That woke O'Harold up and he got up from his couch and starts yelling at them. They quickly hop onto Vinegar's motorcycle to try and get away from O'Harold.
O'Harold: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU NEGRO!!!
Pickles: Adios, old man! (Flips the bird at O'Harold)
Cucumber: Faster!
Vinegar: On it! (Goes faster on his motorcycle and Cucumber did her best holding onto her hat while Pickles is holding on to Cucumber tight)
Pickles: Drive back to my mama's house!
Vinegar: Yes sir! (Drives his motorcycle back to Shirley's house to drop Cucumber & Pickles off so they can say goodbye to Shirley)
Shirley: Vinegar!! Why is your motorcycle at my property?!
Vinegar: I was dropping those guys off!
Pickles: I've come to say goodbye to you mama because I'm heading back to Busytown. Me and Cucumber are. I promise I'll write to ya.
Shirley: Ohhh I hate to see my son leave again but.. at least you'll write this time now that you know my address.. (Hugs Pickles)
Pickles: I love you mama.
Shirley: I love you too sunny.. And I'm so happy to meet you in person Cucumber! (Hugs Cucumber too)
Cucumber: Ooooo... You smell like.. sweet potato pies!
Shirley: I sure do! You like sweet potato pies?
Cucumber: They're mine and my sister's favorites!
Shirley: Amazing to hear that! Be careful Pickles! And keep up the good work Cucumber! And you Vinegar! Get your ass in the house! I have a bone to pick with you for leaving tracks on my lawn!
Vinegar: Aunt Shirley! I didn't mean to!
Shirley: Oh sure!
Cucumber & Pickles walks away from Shirley's house with smiles on their faces. Pickles was giggling about the fact Vinegar was in trouble for leaving tracks on Shirley's lawn because it amuses him to see Vinegar get in trouble at last.
Pickles: Heheheh.. Bet Aunt Pepper wouldn't like seeing Vinegar get in deep shit.
Cucumber: I don't think she would. But it's a no no to ride on the lawn.
Pickles: What a manchild. Let's find a hotel to stay in for 1 night here.
Cucumber: Good idea. I'm exhausted..
The End
