Before a single sound is strung, before a single shot is seen, before but a single scene starts, programs often packed with the poopiest pampers are nothing but spotless slates. Such screens so black and blank, silently showing off their monochrome modality, make no room for even the most minor and minuscule messes. No sort of blotches or splatter, no sort of splotches or stains, can do a single thing to soil such a backdrop’s uniform foundation. But, those clinging to cleanliness must cherish this sight while it lasts, for it’s only a matter of time ‘till things get messier…much much messier.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
SLAM! SLAM! SLAM!
Shattering any sense of serenity with several slams, clashing the soft cadence of piano strokes with those loud and sporadic sounds from her high chair, is a rowdy little skunk who’d much rather be making her own music than eating what her parents so sweetly prepared for her sake. Even the little respect she’s shown for her spaghetti and meatballs, the meal her mommy and daddy had so meticulously made, only further shows her frivolousness as the kid consumes them in the crudest way possible.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
Unconcerned of feeding herself with finesse, the minimal morsels that made it it into her mouth create even more contrast from the commercial’s calm melody as the sloppy and slimy sounds of smacking lips follow suit, all while the sights of munched noodles and meatballs mortify those who know their manners. Marking her messiness all the more, making the two year old’s teal bib a mere accessory, is the sauce standing out so starkly on her black furred face while even the untainted objects in sight, that pair of untouched plastic utensils, prove what the speaker soon says.
“There’s no denying it! Babies are such a messy bunch!” states a familiar feminine voice, suggesting saucier shenanigans as the high chairs heralded for safely seating such youngsters become a conduit for dinner time tomfoolery.
“Hehehehe!”
PLOP!
Oh my! The blue bowl once so securely storing supper now finds itself on her head as the diaper-clad kid decides spaghetti is far better as a fashion statement than a foodstuff. While several stringy noodles give her luscious lox and plastic bowls provide her such a stunning headpiece, so swiftly does the skunk show she doesn’t need to pack her pampers to make massive messes.
SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!
And, so too does this pasta princess prove that even tiny two year olds can be trendy fashionistas! Continuing her marvelously messy makeover, marinara sauce is stylish makeup to the trailblazing toddler as red and chunky goop gives her face quite the glow up, a style perhaps too avant-garde for grownups. Oh yes, those parents and adults in the audience may waggle their fingers while she plays with her food, but messier mischief shows she doesn’t care one bit as the skunk shows more games to play with her grub.
SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!
From fashion makeovers to finger painting, more giggles follow suit as she slaps her stained hands all around her seat, finding the red paw prints scattered about to be nothing but fine art, and how could you not agree when the bland beige of her high chair now sports brighter and bolder looks?
“Hehehehe!”
FWOOOP! SQUISH!
Having had her share of fun with the sauce, the spaghetti stained skunk then shows her sportier side as she plays ball with a stray meatball, chucking the savory sphere right down the middle before it strikes the camera. Grease stains on the screen make for a grosser graphic as the girl continues to giggle, but even amidst all this mess, the speaker’s second remark shows there’s still more to come.
“Haha, yes, there’s only so much you can do to manage all those messes, but as long as you’ve got Sturdy Stinkers, you’re ready for the messes that matter most!”
Although having hardly eaten her hearty meal, the skunk’s ready to make room for more as she suddenly scrunches her face and her tail hikes up.
“Mmmmmph……mmmmmph!”
PFFFFT! FRRRRRRT!! BLOOOOOOORT!!!
Now, messy sights are shown from both above and below as she thoroughly fills her diaper, causing it to swiftly expand in size while large loads give the little one a lumpier seat and make her sit slightly higher in the high chair. With the kid’s crowded crinkly garment in such a confined space, with friction also supplementing sizable stinkies while seated, one could reasonably predict a blowout bound to happen, a poopy explosion more problematic than even the messiest of mealtime tots.
“Phew…”
But, with no further booms or bursts after all that boom boom, sighs of relief show Sturdy Stinkers enduring dumpy deluges yet again. No doubt the now smellier spaghetti savant will need a nice bath, but not due to dirty diapers making things more dire.
More messes that bushy tailed tot makes in her diapers and beyond will pile onto this program, but some may not suspect such a thing as scenes featuring father and daughter are nothing but clean and serene. Casting aside all the rambunctious actions from before, replacing the blotched and busy backgrounds full of improperly placed porcelain, several saucy stains, frivolously flung foods, and profusely pooped pampers, is simply the baby girl in a purple shirt and pristine pampers being bounced following emptied bottles.
Pat…Pat…Pat
Gentle pats to her back now suit the soothing sounds of piano strokes while she rests on her father’s right shoulder, all while shots showing smiles from parent and child accentuate such serenity. Pat…pat..pat…do those relaxing rhythms repeat. Bounce…bounce…bounce…goes the blissful baby. Pat…pat…pat…is the feel of father’s love. Bounce…bounce…
BLEEEEARGH! SPLAT!
Oh! Sudden spit up makes the music abruptly stop as the father’s face shifts to shock, but is it really a surprise pats not far after feedings set off said retching reflex? And so, with a baby girl having barfed up a bit her bottle’s contents, with cream colored spillage splattering onto the carpet and couch while the kid simply chuckles over her upchuck, babies prove they can make big messes from milk’s pure whites.
BRAAAAAAAAAP!!
Uh oh! Realizing there’s a lot more than liquids she needs to let out, the skunk’s silly face swiftly shifts to a scrunched one as another mess from above precedes a more massive one from below, causing the camera to flip its focus to her big diaper about to be dirtied.
“Mmmmmmmmph!”
BLOOOOORT!! PBLAAAAAAART!!! SLUUUUUUMP!!!
The toddler’s hiking tail shows speedy transitions from spit up to stinkies as lots of poop piles into her pampers, causing so much sag and slump while many lumps protrude from her poofy pants.
“Nnnnnnnnnnngh!”
SPLOOOOOOORTCH!!!
Making sure milk won’t be the only white substance welcoming stains, as though her bowels don’t want to be one-upped by spit up, the smelly skunk answers another stinky signal as she makes a much mushier mess in her diaper, causing her once pure white padding to stain dark brown at the bottom and become slightly saggier.
“Phew…”
But, even while drastically dumped diapers paint a more repulsive picture, the caretaker cracks a smile and calm music makes its comeback, as though celebrating the fact Sturdy Stinkers managed the most significant of his daughter’s messes.
CLINK! CLINK! CLINK!
The little tyke then proves food and drink are not the only catalysts for uncleanliness as scenic shifts from poopy to playful still present so much to clean up despite the clean diaper now around her waist once again. Block towers the girl’s gleefully building mark the sole sight showing order and organization as several more blocks from projects sporadically scrapped are scattered all over the floor, all while plushies hugged for hardly a few moments and crayons cast away alongside unfinished fridge art further amplify the disarray brought by the indecisive tyke in diapers.
“Hehehehe!”
For the unschooled skunk unaccustomed to clean up songs, for the kid who’s mastered the art of messiness with purely her pamper packing prowess, everything is a-ok, but no doubt several spectators would be nothing but displeased by all this disarray.
“Hehehe…..mmmmmmmph!”
Uh oh! Now those neat freaks have all the more reason to freak out as sudden squats show she’s got lots to let out and strained grunts show something else has been building amidst that baby’s building!
PBLAAAAAARMPH!!!….SLUUUUUMP!!!
Oh my, and as though all her toys so flippantly on the floor don’t already make for a massive mess, the toddler’s number two adds another to the mix as loads of lumpy solids make her diaper droop down to the ground.
Step…step….step
Soon making her presence made after such stinkies are made is the mother who must now address messes made both within and beyond the purview of pampers, messes that demand both her daughter’s toys be dumped back into the box and her poopy diaper be dumped into the pail. And yet, rather than blowing a fuse over stink bombs set off by the skunk who had already made her room quite the minefield, with no explosions ensuing from diapers keeping her daughter’s many mounds in order, the mother skunk simply smiles and scoops her up, happy the messes that matter most from the one who matters to her most are more than managed.
Waddle….waddle…waddle…
Crinkle…crinkle…crinkle
And so, having shot more than its fair share of the messy, the commercial figures it’s only fair to squeak in the squeaky clean as closing scenes shift to the bathroom where all those blotches are washed away. Toddling on tiled floors so polished and pristine, donning a pure white diaper just as spotless, fluffed up fur from fluffier towels shows the skunk got the bath she certainly needed well before the first segment.
Waddle….waddle….
“Mmmmmmph!”
However, before the little one leaves the bathroom, although she’s got no plans to go to the bathroom, sudden squats and grunts show she’s gotta and gonna go right now. After her parents no doubt doused the tot from head to tail with shampoo, some may think that she’s doing Mommy and Daddy dirty by putting the “poo” in said word so squeaky clean after being made squeaky clean not even a minute ago, that after being so soapy, it’s such a shame she’s gonna be stinky again. But, as a voice both benign and bubbly will suggest, although another bubble bath may need to be at the ready once she’s done filling her diaper, boom boom won’t be bursting anyone’s bubble.
“Sturdy Stinkers. The diaper that’s #1 for #2’s.”
PBLOOOOOOORMPH!!!…SLUUUUMP!!!
Promptly following the brand and slogan showing on the screen’s top and bottom, the skunk purges out all that brown baggage in her bottom and proves such selling points with a sublimely relieving release. Even as her poofy pants piled with poo poo slump to the ground from the weight of several stinky solids making them all the lumpier, even as foul smells surround settings where one gets washed up, still, the shot sustains an air of purity while her diaper humbly presents the blowout that never was.
Waddle….waddle…waddle…
Such purity only becomes more prominent as the toddler turns back around and waddles toward the camera with a cute and innocent smile, excited for a second wave of sudsy fun. Just before all fades to black, the shot shifts to the smiling faces of mom and dad once their daughter makes her way to the tub, for with compact padding providing less to clean up, another bath isn’t the least bit burdensome.
End
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