Clarence Coyote and Project Courier - Part 32 Edited SFW - Door to Door Sales Weasel by moyomongoose < Submission

Keywords male 1173190, female 1063310, cub 268590, fox 244065, bear 48160, skunk 33713, coyote 11865, car 7394, bobcat 2052, wolverine 1590, church 411, new mexico 297, year 1960 284, sunday 111, vacuum cleaners 3, door to door sales 2

______________________________
SUNDAY, JULY 31st, 1960

Being a Sunday morning, Al, Marge and the cubs were in church where they attend in Santa Rosa. Nearly six months earlier when Clarence Coyote first arrived from the year 2018, he wasn't use to attending church because his original parents, Charley and Alice, were not the church going type... However, this was the year 1960 after all, being a different day and time. And Clarence had made friends with some of the other cubs at church over the months he had been attending with his step family.
This Sunday, Pastor Warren Brown Bear's sermon was titled, "The Sabbath. Day of Duty vs Day of Rest". In that sermon, Pastor Bear reminded the congregation about how the purpose of the Sabbath differed between New and Old Testament times.
During the sermon, Pastor Bear stated;

Dearly beloved. I declare to you there was a time the Sabbath was not made for everyone, but rather everyone was made for the Sabbath. You see? In Old Testament times, the Sabbath was a requirement fulfilled by adhering to the stringent laws and regulations of that day and time. Had you been living back then, your day of rest would be more so a day of duty. Anything that was considered to be work was forbidden on the Sabbath.
If I may give a few examples...If in those days, you were to drop your hat on the floor, and it just so happened that was on the Sabbath, you were forbidden by law to pick your hat back up until the following day. Picking up that hat on the Sabbath would be counted as work, and of course back in those days, you would be sentenced to death by stoning for breaking the Sabbath.

Donna whispered to Clarence, "Ain't ya glad you didn't go all the way back to Old Testament times?", followed by Jed and Rex giggling, as Clarence jested a motion like he was wiping sweat from his forehead.
"Hey. Behave", Al discretely said to the cubs.
"Pastor Bear is conducting services", Marge further told the cubs in a low tone.
Pastor Bear continued;

"	If on the Sabbath, a lamp or candle was left burning from during the night, you were forbidden to blow it out until the following day...Quite frankly, I don't think a candle would have burned that long.

Which that did get a few chuckles from the congregation.
Pastor Bear then continued;

That too would be breaking of the Sabbath...Now I know some of the female folk would not have like this one had we been around back then. Tending your garden. And picking flowers from your flower bed was counted all and all as work. Therefore if you had done those things on the Sabbath, it would be breaking the Sabbath, for which the remedy in those days was death by stoning.

There were a few females in the congregation who cringed at the very idea that someone would stone anyone to death for picking flowers on the Sabbath.
Pastor Bear then mentioned;
"I told you gals you wouldn't have liked it"
Then Pastor Bear mentioned;

"	And I doubt there is anyone here today who doesn't like to go fishing on a Sunday.

There were several animals saying, "Amen", to that one, followed by Pastor Bear saying, "I knew that would get some Amens in the house".
Pastor Bear then continued;

"	Well count your lucky stars and give thanks to the Lord, hallelujah, that we were not born in those Old Testament times.

There were more Amens from the congregation when Pastor Bear mentioned that, then he continued;

Although they didn't have Garcia reels and fiberglass rods back then, you still were forbidden to grab up your net or gigging spear on the Sabbath...Oh yea, that large mouth bass would have been a beauty. But if it was caught on the Sabbath back in those days, you would be required to forfeit your life for catching that fish on the Sabbath.

Pastor Warren Brown Bear then announced to the congregation;

But dearly beloved. In the midst of all this, I declare to you the good news this Bible has to offer. When God's Son was crucified for our sins and iniquity, all those burdensome laws and regulations were nailed to the cross with him and fulfilled once...and...forever. Now don't get me wrong. We still have laws of morality that always were, is, and always will be...What we no longer have is the entanglement of the Pharisaical law system.

There were lots of Amens from the congregation, including Tedrow Bobcat proclaiming, "Tell it like it is, Brother!".
Pastor Bear continued;

No longer is everyone made for the Sabbath. In our day and time, the Sabbath is made for us. It is now truly a day of rest, leisure and relaxation, and no longer a day of duty, bound by observing stringent laws, rules and regulations...Which by the way, now days, we recognize the Sabbath as Sunday.
If you happen to drop something on Sunday, no longer are you required to wait until Monday to pick it up.
If a light is still on Sunday morning, you have the liberty to walk to the switch on the wall and turn it off.
On Sunday, like any other day, you have the liberty to go fishing, tending to your garden and flowers, wash your car, or engage in any other past time you may have. In our day and time, everyday is a holy day, with Sunday being our day of rest and relaxation.
God's Son had declared, my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Amens were really being heard around the congregation about that time.
Pastor Bear continued;

Now as you know, some cities do have blue laws in which nonessential goods are not allowed to be sold on Sunday. Those blue laws are not to subjugate business owners back under the old law...No no...Those laws are so their employees can have Sunday to be with their families and loved ones. True there has to be doctors, police officers, ambulance drivers, grocery store cashiers and the alike on duty on Sunday. But there is always a different day in the week they have off...Remember, everyday is a holy day.
In most every place you go, door to door soliciting of good and products is not allowed on Sunday...There again, that is not to replace the yoke of the old law on those going door to door selling, Fuller brushes, beauty products, vacuum cleaners and other products they have to offer. Rather, it is for the benefit of those who do not wish to be pestered by that knock on the door on Sunday by someone who has something to sell.

Pastor Bear then commented, "Heaven knows dealing with door to door sales animals on Monday through Friday is bad enough as it is", which got a roll of mellow laughter from the congregation.
Once the church services were concluded for the morning, everyone talked and fellowshiped for about 20 minutes. Many of the congregation members congratulated Pastor Brown Bear on the sermon he delivered that morning.
This was also the first Sunday that the Coyote Family had their new 1960 Plymouth Fury nine passenger station wagon at church, being it was only Monday of last week they picked it up from the dealership. Just about everyone commented to Al and Marge what a beautiful car it is.
Pastor Bear was even impressed by the station wagon, commenting to Al and Marge, "Brother Al. Sister Marge. From the looks of it, the Lord has been prospering you well".
The cubs chimed in telling Pastor Warren Brown Bear what a nice car the station wagon is as Al and Marge thanked him for the compliment.
After the 20 minutes or so of fellowship, Al, Marge and the cubs headed back home to Duran... Marge driving of course, being the Plymouth Fury station wagon is her personal car...Al's personal car is the 1960 Chrysler 300.

On the way back along Highway 54, a really good Sunday mood setting song played on the car's radio...It was from The Brown Bears (IRL The Browns) - I'll Hold You In My Heart:

Coyote Family's Car [Page 2] by moyomongoose

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3LUdkjHJLs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jmy88AVSH0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZX5giqzFX4
"Im sure glad we don't live in Old Testament days", Donna said.
Al mentioned, "For starters, we wouldn't be riding in this nice car. We would have been crowded on a chariot pulled by a non-anthro horse".
"What a drag that had to have been", Jed replied.
"Well, they never had cars back then", Marge said as she continued driving. "What they never knew, they didn't miss".
"I heard you had to get...you know...snip snip, back then too", Rex proclaimed.
"Okay, Rex. That will do", Marge told Rex. "But we are also lucky in that respect".
"There are actually some cubs I know from school in my day and time who had that done when they were born", Clarence added.
"It goes back further than you think", Al said to Clarence. "There are some parts of the country, and world, where it's done in this day and time also".
"Wow. This far back?", Clarence asked.
"As far back as thousands of years ago actually", Al affirmed.
"I was saying in church that it's a good thing Clarence didn't go back that far in time", Donna said.
"So your dad and I heard", Marge said to Donna. "But you cubs need to be quiet when church services are going on".
"That's right", Al added.
"You know?", said Rex. "No one back in those days would know how to fix the time machine if Clarence had gone that far back.
"I'd dare say if Clarence had gone that far back in the past, some Pharisee or priest would have deemed the time machine to be witchcraft, or something from the Devil", Al pondered.
"I'm sure glad that didn't happen", Clarence said.
"Had that been the case, I'm sure it wouldn't have ended well", Marge added.
"And we would have never gotten to know you", Jed replied to Clarence.
"Well, we're glad he's with us", Marge affirmed.
"I am too", Clarence agreed.
A really cute catchy song came on the car radio on the way to Duran...The Brown Bears, I Was Looking Back To See:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVQ7CO-7miY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uA0IEo9fTaY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZe9dF3xaAU

After about an hour of driving from Santa Rosa to Duran, the family stopped by at the cafe' on the outskirts of the community to have lunch.
There at the cafe', the family enjoyed a good meal. Then after lunch, it was just a couple of minutes from the cafe' to the house...Just a short distance to making a right turn onto Route 3, a few hundred feet to the crossing of the Southern Pacific Railroad (no trains coming), a right turn onto Cedar street, and just a short distance to the house.
After pulling up into the driveway, and going into the house, the cubs wanted to watch television a while before going out to play...Al and Marge were okay with that, thus on came the TV.
Marge even prepared some Kool-Aid for the cubs (grape this time), and some of that Wilkins coffee for Al and herself (their favorite brand of coffee).
"Just think, Mom", said Donna. "Back in the old days, they would throw stones at you for making Kool-Aid and coffee.
Al and Marge laughed, and Marge replied, "Yea, but aren't we lucky we didn't live in those days.
"Heck", Al added, "If those laws were still around today, just making the effort to pull that knob out to turn on the television would be a stonable offence".
Once Al and Marge got their cups of coffee, they went into the living room to sit and watch television with the cubs. The cubs of course, were told to be careful not to spill their Kool-Aid.
Shortly after everyone began enjoying watching TV, the phone rang.
"I'll get it" Al said as he walked over to the wall phone in the dining room.
"Hello", Al answered after picking the receiver up from it's cradle.
"Oh hello, Al", a neighbor greeted on the other end.
"Oh hi there, Brenda", Al replied.
"Listen. I have a heads up I should tell you", Brenda Fox said
"That is...", Al inquired.
"There's a door to door solicitor working the neighborhood today...even though it's Sunday", Brenda Fox explained. "I've already called some other neighbors about him".
"The Fuller brush opossum?", Al Coyote asked Brenda Fox.
Marge overhearing the call, asked, "He's in the neighborhood?".
"It's not him", Brenda told Al over the phone. "It's that damn weasel who goes around selling vacuum cleaners".
"Him", Al replied, "He'd be the kind who has the crass to be knocking on everyone's doors on a Sunday".
"A pushy bastard he is too", Brenda added.
"Well if he gets in our house, I know how to show him his way out", Al assured Brenda.
"He drives that tan car", Brenda mentioned.
"I know the car", Al affirmed. "It's a Hudson Hornet".
"Okay, gotta hang up", Brenda Fox signed off. "I'm going to call more neighbors".
"Marge and I will make calls too", Al assured Brenda before they bid each other bye and hung up".
"Hudson Hornet?", Marge asked Al. "Sounds like that weasel".
"Yup", Al replied. "Brenda Fox told me it's the vacuum cleaner sales weasel".
"That rascal", Marge retorted. "Bothering everyone on a Sunday. He should know better".
"I remember when he stopped here last year", Jed said. "Dad marched him out to the steps a good one".
"I hope that weasel hasn't forgotten that", Marge said.
"I can always march him out again if he did", Al replied.
"And coincidentally, Pastor Bear preached on that this morning", Marge said.
"No doubt he was already knocking on doors when Pastor Bear was preaching that sermon this morning", Al surmised.
"Boy oh boy. That weasel's lucky he's not living in Old Testament days", Rex proclaimed.
"Yea", said Donna. "They'd be throwing a whole wheelbarrow full of stones at him".
"Forget the stones. I believe they would have dropped a boulder on him", Al said as everyone laughed.
"Try the Rock of Gibraltar", Marge added, getting further laughter.
With all that said, Al and Marge took turns warning other neighbors by phone about the vacuum cleaner sales weasel. As for the cubs, they continued watching television.
When Frank and Wanda Coyote were told about him, Frank said, "We're gonna mess with him a little bit. Have a little fun with him".
When Earl and Gracie Bear were told, Earl asked, "Does he do that thing of throwing cigarette ashes on the carpet, or do you know?"
"I don't know", Al replied.
"Well if he does, I got a little surprise for him", Earl Bear said.
A short while later, a tan and white 1955 Hudson Hornet stopped along the side of the street in front of Al and Marge's house.

Door to Door Sales Weasel by moyomongoose

"There he is", Jed said as everyone could see the weasel getting an Electrolux vacuum cleaner from the back seat of his car.
Everyone watched from inside as the Weasel walk along the walkway leading to the house.
"Ya gonna march him like last time, Dad", Rex asked after the weasel made his way up the walkway.
"If I have to", Al answered as the weasel walked up the steps leading to the recessed porch area at the front of the house.
>Dang-dong< the door bell sounded.
It was Al who opened the door.
Suddenly, the weasel tossed a cup full of cigarette ashes on their tarrazo floor, then began his sales pitch;

"	Hello there. I'm Jason Finwick Weasel with Genco Direct Marketing. Don't worry about the ashes because this latest model of the Electrolux vacuum cleaner will prove to you there's no other machine like it on Earth. If I may step into your humble abode, I shall demonstrate this beauty.

Jason Weasel then barged his way in looking for an electrical outlet, saying;

"	This machine is a real gem, I tell ya...

That's when Al walked around behind Jason, grabbed his arms from behind and spun him face about.
"Heeeeyyyy! I wouldn't lay a paw on me if I were you!", Jason Weasel retorted.
"I already did...Both paws", Al replied as he commenced marching Jason outside onto landing of the recessed porch area.
Al Coyote then set the vacuum cleaner out near Jason Weasel and gently slammed the door.
"Now scram. You should know better than to bug everyone on a Sunday", Al called from an open porch window.
"Don't you want me to clean up the ashes?", Jason asked.
"We'll take care of it", Marge interjected.
"Pick up your vacuum cleaner and go", Al said to Jason. "The one we have works just fine".
That was when Jason Weasel got the picture in his noggin, then picked up the vacuum cleaner and began walking back to his car.
"Ya got him, Dad", Rex said loud enough for Jason to hear on his way back to the car.
"There he gooooeeesss", Donna proclaimed, also loud enough for Jason to hear, then called, "Ynah ynah" at him.
But Jason Finwick Weasel is a hard knocker...Once he got to his car, he put the vacuum cleaner on the back seat, then got in his car and went to the next house that looked like a likely prospect...Which happened to be Frank and Wanda Coyote's house a few houses down.
Sure enough, Jason Weasel parked his car on the street in front of Frank and Wanda's place.
Their teenage daughter, Dottie, and their 8 year old daughter, Cheryl, were home with Mom and Dad at the time.
Frank locked the front door, they left the curtains open, and they pretended to be going about normal activities...The idea was for Frank, Wanda, Dottie and Cheryl to ignore Jason Weasel like they don't notice him. As Jason approached the front door, he noticed there was no door bell button, so he knocked...But no one would answer the door.
Jason Knocked again, and he could clearly see with the curtains drawn back, there were occupants in the house. Jason then stepped down off the porch landing and made his way to a window...The windows were closed with the air conditioner on.
Jason then tapped on the window, held up the vacuum cleaner he had with him, and pointed at the vacuum cleaner. Little 8 year old Cheryl Coyote waved at Jason Weasel from inside the house.
"No, Cheryl. We're ignoring him. Remember", older sister, Dottie said.
"Yea. He doesn't like that silent treatment, I noticed", Frank added.
About then, as Jason brought his face close to the window, Wanda rapidly pulled the curtain draw cord, making the curtains quickly close in front of his face.
Jason Weasel then went to a window on the other side of the front door. Wanda did the same thing with that curtain too...like >zoop< the curtain quickly closes.
Jason finally got picture in his noggin he wasn't about to get an opportunity to talk to Frank and Wanda...much less sell them a vacuum cleaner.
As Jason Weasel gave up and headed back to his car, Frank, Wanda, Dottie and Cheryl got a good laugh on shifty ole Jason Weasel.
Jason Weasel then proceeded driving through the neighborhood, then noticed a really nice looking immaculate house.
Jason thought, "Well from the looks of how immaculate that house is kept up, I might make a sale here".
It was the home of Pete and Tabetha Skunk...And they always did keep the house and yard particularly immaculate. Pete and Tabetha Skunk's two cubs, 7 year old Gail, and 5 year old Dennis, were playing in the front yard with two neighbor cubs, 6 year old Sid Calico Cat, and 6 year old Alvin Fox (Randy Fox's younger brother).
As Jason Weasel parked his car, and got out a vacuum cleaner and a cup of cigarette ashes, he noticed the four cubs playing in the front yard...Jason didn't pay that any mind. After all, he has worked lots of neighborhoods during his sales career, and most neighborhoods do have cubs out and about playing.
As Jason Weasel made his way through the yard, with vacuum cleaner and ash cup in paw, toward the front door of Pete and Tabetha's house, little 7 year Gail Skunk approached him, and greeted, "Hello, Mister".
"Hi there", Jason replied.
Gail then began behaving inappropriatly in Jason Weasel's presents, which embarrased Jason to say the least.
"Woah, little girl", Jason retorted to Gail. "You know that's inappropriate".
About that time, Alvin Fox called out to draw Sid's attention to Gail.
That's when Mama Tabetha came out the front door, screaming, "Gail! You get over here this instant!"
As Gail came to meet her mom at the front door, Daddy Pete came out.
"I heard what little Alvin Fox said to Sid Cat", Pete said, knowing what was going on from what he heard.
Mama Skunk began reprimanding Gail in a loud shrieking tone, then started in with her rant to Gail of what the Devil does to naughty little girls.
"Oh for Heaven sake, Tabetha. Stop filling her head full of crap like that", Daddy Pete retorted, then said to Alvin Fox and Sid Calico Cat, "You boys need to go on home".
Pete Skunk then took notice of Jason Weasel standing nearby holding an Electrolux vacuum cleaner and an ash cup, then said to him, "Mister. What are you doing here? We called our daughter Gail over here. I know your name's not Gail".
Jason Weasel then began his sales pitch;

"	Of course not. I'm Jason Finwick Weasel with Genco Direct Marketing. This latest model of the Electrolux vacuum cleaner will prove to you there's no other machine like it on Earth...

Pete Skunk interrupted Jason Weasel, You look here, Mister. You take your vacuum cleaner and that cup of shit and beat it the Hell out of here...Understand?"
"Yea. Sure sure" Jason Weasel said as he began leaving.
Once Jason put the vacuum cleaner and the ash demo cup back into the car, he got in and canvassed the neighborhood only to have doors slammed at him, and being told, "We don't want any".
Al and Marge Coyote, and Brenda Fox did a good job of getting the warning going around the neighborhood about the "vacuum cleaner sales weasel".
Finally, Jason Weasel arrived in front of the home of Earl and Gracie Bear. When Earl and Gracie noticed Jason's 1955 Hudson Hornet pulling to the side of the street, Earl dashed to the laundry room and unscrewed all the fuses to the fuse panel to the house, backing them off just enough to disable all the electricity to the house.
"This is going to be funny", Earl's wife, Gracie, said as Jason was walking along the walkway to the house with the vacuum cleaner and demo ash cup in paw.
Their little toddler, Todd Bear, even laughed, though he didn't know what Mommy and Daddy were going to pull on Jason Weasel...Little Todd Bear cub just knew something was about to be funny.
Sure enough, Jason knocked on the door, and big ole Earl Bear answered it.
Suddenly, Jason Weasel barged his way in and tossed a cup full of cigarette ashes on Earl and Gracie's living room carpet, then began his sales pitch;

"	Hello there. I'm Jason Finwick Weasel with Genco Direct Marketing. Don't worry about the ashes because this latest model of the Electrolux vacuum cleaner will prove to you there's no other machine like it on Earth. If you'll allow me, I shall demonstrate this beauty.

Jason Weasel began looking around for an electrical outlet as he continued his pitch;

"	This machine is a real gem, I tell ya. You'll like it once you see what it can do.

Jason Weasel found an outlet, plugged in the vacuum cleaner to begin the demonstration, and flipped the switch...But all Jason got was >click< >click< >click click<.
"Something seems to be wrong", Jason retorted as he continued clicking the switch. "Well you do know every product line has a defective unit show up now and then. That's why these beauties come with a warranty. I'll go to the car and get another vacuum cleaner".
"Save yourself the trouble, Mack", Earl Bear said to Jason Weasel. "The trouble is not in your vacuum cleaner. We're having electrical work done. And we're the weekend without electricity".
About that time Gracie brought out a whisk broom, dust pan and other cleaning supplies and pawed it to Jason Weasel.
"Now you made the mess. You clean it up", Earl Bear told Jason Weasel. "Gracie and I want every last little spec of it up too".
"That's so right", Gracie agreed, then said to Jason, "Now get cleaning".
Jason Weasel wasn't about to defy two bears who were much bigger and stronger than him, thus he got on the task of cleaning up the mess right away.
Shortly after Jason began whisk brooming the ashes onto the dust pan, little Todd Bear cub pointed his bottle at Jason and giggled, "He he he he he he he".
After 2 minutes of cleaning, Jason proclaimed, "I'm done"
"Well see if you're done", Earl Bear replied, then asked his wife what she thought.
Gracie looked at the carpet, paused a moment, and said, "Not...Quite".
"You ain't done", Earl told Jason. "Back to it".
After another minute of whisk brooming, Jason asked, "How's that?".
"Nope", Earl Bear abruptly replied.
Thus Jason went back to sweeping the carpet.
"I brought those other cleaning supplies out for a reason", Gracie Bear told Jason Weasel. "Get some of that cleaner on where you made that mess, then get on it with that rag and brush".
"And make sure you get the backing really good down in between the fibers", Earl demanded.
"You'll need to use the corners of the rag for that", Gracie added. "And when the corners are soiled, fold the rag. That will make more corners".
Shortly after Jason began scrubbing the carpet, little Todd Bear pointed at him and said, "Wookie wookie, he he he".
"That's right, little Toddie. Lookie lookie", Gracie said to her toddler son as Jason continued scrubbing the carpet.
Gracie then told Jason, "I want every speck of that out of our carpet".
"You heard what my wife said", Earl added..."Every spec".
After about 20 minutes, Jason Weasel proclaimed, "I think that about got it".
"Well, what matters is what my wife and I think", Earl Bear replied as he went into another room to get a magnifying glass.
"We're doing the thinking around here. You're doing the cleaning", Gracie Bear informed Jason Weasel. "Got it?"
When Earl returned to the living room, he got down on one knee, parted some of the carpet fibers, and observed the area of revealed backing with the magnifying glass.
"Look at this", Earl Bear said to Jason Weasel. "See those particles? You call this clean?".
"Uh...Okay", Jason replied as he saw the particles through the magnifying glass.
"It's not okay", Earl told Jason. "When my wife and I said every last spec, we meant every last spec".
"I can't imagine what part of that you didn't understand", Gracie said to Jason.
As Jason Weasel went back to tediously cleaning the carpet, little Todd Bear again giggled at Jason.
"That's right. Weasel funnieeee", Earl said to little Todd bear cub.
Those left over particles Earl Bear found with the magnifying glass were not from Jason Weasel's demo ash cup. Those were already there before Jason ever showed up. Earl Bear knew that though, but still had Jason clean it up just the same.
That went on for an hour before Earl and Gracie were satisfied and allowed Jason Weasel to be on his way.
After Jason had left, Earl went back into the laundry room and screwed the fuses back down into the fuse panel, and the electricity was back on again...thus Earl and Gracie, along with little Todd, had a good laugh on Jason Weasel.
As for Jason Weasel, he knows there is a saying in the sales business that goes, 'sales is like fishing. If no fish are biting, go to another spot'.
Thus, Jason Weasel began heading out of Duran to drive on down to Corona and try his luck there.
Al and Marge's cubs were already outside playing when Jason Weasel drove by on West street, which was a street over from Cedar street where they live.
"There he goes", Jed said as he could see Jason's Hudson Hornet going by on West Street, beyond the trees and houses.
"There who goes?", Donna asked.
"There", Clarence said, pointing the car out to Donna.
"Oh, that vacuum cleaner weasel", Donna said, then laughed.
Jed had been letting Rex borrow his bicycle he got for his birthday back in June.

"I'll ride out and see which way he goes", Rex told the other cubs as he hurriedly took off on Jed's bike toward Route 3.
Rex got to Route 3 shortly after Jason had pulled onto Route 3 from West street and drove over the railroad crossing. That was just in the nick of time for Rex to catch a glimpse of Jason Weasel's Hudson Hornet making the turn south onto Highway 54.
Rex then rode back and told his siblings that Jason Weasel had turned south on Highway 54.
"He turned that way on 54", Rex said as he pointed toward the south.
"I bet he's going to Corona", Jed surmised.
"Where our grandparents live", Rex replied.
"Let's go tell Mom and Dad", Jed announced as he and the others headed for the house.
"Mom! Dad! He's going to Corona!", Donna announced as the cubs arrived to the front door of the house.
"Who's going to Corona?", Marge asked.
"That vacuum cleaner sales weasel", Jed answered.
Rex then told how he rode Jed's bike out to Route 3 just in time to see Jason's car turn south on 54.
"He's going to try to sell vacuum cleaners there", Al mentioned as he headed toward the wall phone in the kitchen.
"You know he is", Marge affirmed as Al got to the phone.
Al began dialing to call his parents in Corona, Arnie and Rudy. The cubs giggled as they heard the rotary dial on the phone swick-clic clic clic clic clic swick-clic clic clic clic.
"Bet that weasel's gonna wonder why he gets the same thing in Corona", Jed said.
"Yea. You said it", Rex agreed.
At Al's parent's house, it was his dad, Arnie, who answered the phone.
"Hello", Arnie answered.
"Hello, Dad", Al replied.
"Oh hi, Son. How are the wife and cubs?", Arnie said.
"We're all doing great", Al said.
"Oh, you know. Your mother and I would like to drop by and see that new station wagon you all got", Arnie mentioned.
"Any time you want, Dad", Al replied. "But hey. There's something I need to let you all know".
"I'm all ears. Shoot", Arnie replied.
Al then explained about Jason Weasel showing up to sell vacuum cleaners door to door in Duran...on Sunday...and gave a description of his tan and white Hudson Hornet with vacuum cleaners on the back seat.
"Sounds like a real scallywag", Arnie surmised.
Al was then able to hear his mom in the background ask his dad, "A scallywag? What is it, dear?"
"Hold up a moment, Son", Arnie said to Al.
"Okay", Al said.
Al could hear his dad explain to his mom what he had told his dad about Jason Weasel.
Following the explanation, Al heard his mom, Ruby, ask, "On a Sunday of all days?"
"On a Sunday", Arnie answered.
"Shame on him", Ruby replied. "If he comes here, we'll give him a what for".
Arnie came back on the line and said, "Yea, Son. Your mom said we'll be ready for him. She says we'll give him a what for".
"Yea I heard that", Al said as he and his dad laughed.
"Here, Son. Your mother would like to talk to you", Arnie said to Al.
"It can't be too long. I'm sure Marge wants to call her parents too", Al told his dad, as Marge nodded in agreement.
Arnie then told Ruby, "It has to be quick. Marge want's to call her parents too".
"Hello, Albert", Ruby greeted.
"Hello, Mom", Al replied.
"I'm glad you told us about that weasel fella. Yeeaaa, he sounds like a real wing ding dilly", Ruby said.
Ruby and Al talked for a few moments, which during the conversation Ruby mentioned, "You know, Albert. Now that we're expecting that weasel fella, I'm inviting my sister Cathalene over with your cousin Wiley and his wife and cubs. We'll have a little surprise waiting for him".
Al replied, "If I know Aunt Cathaline's grand cubs as well as I do. it should be a good one".
At the end of the conversation, Ruby assured Al that she and Arnie will phone others they know in town about Jason Weasel.
Al then pawed the receiver over to Marge after he pushed the cradle down to end his call.
When Marge called her parents, who also live in Corona, it was her dad, Harvey, who picked up.
"It's your dime. Start talking", Harvey stated his usual phone greeting.
"Hi there, Dad", Marge greeted.
"Oh, hi there, Marge", Harvey said. "Everything's happy on the home front I take it".
"We're all doing fine", Marge said. "There's this weasel Mom and you should know about. That's why I called. I believe he's headed your way.
"Oh, you don't say", Harvey replied.
Marge explained to her dad the same thing that Al had explained to his dad about Jason Weasel, including the description of his car.
"How do you know he's headed our way though?" Harvey asked his daughter.
Marge explained to her dad, "When the cubs saw his car leaving on West Street, Rex rode a bicycle out to Route 3 in time to see him turning south on 54".
Harvey replied, "Well, I'll be. Of you and Al's four cubs, my grandson, Rex, is a real ambitious go-getter. I have to paw that to him. He's quite a maverick".
"Oh, thank you, Dad", Marge replied. "Of our cubs, Rex has always been the eager one".
Marge then asked, "Is Mom there?".
"Sure. Let me put her on", Harvey said.
"How's my girl", Marge's mom, Alma, greeted.
"Couldn't be better", Marge replied, then explained, "I was telling Dad about a sales weasel that's..."
"I was overhearing the conversation", Alma mentioned. "Sounds like that scuttle-bug has got some nerve going around knocking on animal's doors on a Sunday".
Marge then mentioned, "When he came to our house earlier, Al turned him around and pushed him back outside".
"Well, good for Al", Alma said. "I would loved to have seen that. That had to be worth the price of admission".
"Oh it was", Marge said as she and her mom laughed.
Alma then said, "Oh by the way, your father and I would like to see that new station wagon you and Al got last week. I heard that car is really gorgeous".
Marge could hear her dad in the background saying, "I bet it's a beauty".
"Oh, it's really nice", Marge replied. "We should ride down with it some time".
"I remember during your birthday, that was Al's gift to you", Alma said.
"Yes it is. That's my car. And Al has the Chrysler 300", Marge affirmed. "Though both cars are in both of our names".
"Awwww. His and hers cars", Alma endearingly exclaimed.
After Marge and her mom talked a bit, Alma assured her daughter she and Harvey will be making phone calls to those they know about Jason Weasel before they ended the call.

Meanwhile, Jason Weasel was speeding his way south along Highway 54 to Corona. He hadn't sold even one vacuum cleaner all day since he been knocking on doors and ringing door bells starting at 8 o'clock am that morning...He didn't so much as get anyone to even accept a business card from him.
Jason was cruising along at 80 mph in that Hudson Hornet in a hurry to get to Corona, in hopes he could make some sales there...Although Jason was driving at 80 mph, the day time speed limit on Highway 54 is 70 mph.
As Jason Weasel continued speeding along Highway 54, he thought to himself, "Oh I just got to sell a vacuum cleaner today...If I can just sell one I'd be happy...Oh how I hate those days of no commission when I don't sell nothing...I just have to sell a vacuum cleaner today".
Although Nelson Riddle's song, Route 66, wasn't around until 1962 (this was 1960), that song makes a funny theme song that fits right in with Jason Finwick Weasel speeding in a hurry down Highway 54 enroute to Corona.

No Luck with Sales Today by moyomongoose

In-text Notification for Images with Sound by wild1

As Jason Weasel continued speeding along, he decided to push it up to 85 mph. It was about that time Jason noticed at a distance in the rear view mirror, what looked to be black 1960 Ford gaining on him.
"Huh", thought Jason Weasel. "He must be in a bigger hurry than I am".
That's what Jason thought until the Ford got closer, and a red flashing light on the roof came on...Then the siren sounded.
"Ain't that some shit!", Jason Weasel retorted as he slowed down to pull over.
Jason had got caught speeding by a New Mexico state police officer. As Jason pulled over to the shoulder of the highway, the 1960 Ford patrol car pulled up behind him.
Out from the patrol car stepped the officer, a fox, who made his way to Jason Weasel's car.
"Good afternoon. I need to see your driver's license, Sir", the fox told Jason (back then, you didn't have to provide registration and proof of insurance).
"What seems to be the problem, Officer?", Jason Weasel asked as he got his driver's license from his wallet.
"Eighty five in a seventy. I think I'd call that a problem", said Officer Fox.
Officer Arnold Fox then noticed the vacuum cleaners on the back seat of Jason Weasel's Hudson Hornet, then asked, "What's with the vacuum cleaners if you don't mind my asking.
"I do door to door sales of Electrolux vacuum cleaners for Genco Direct Marketing", Jason answered as he pawed Officer Fox a Genco business card.
"Oh, one of those, huh", Officer Fox replied. "You been out selling today?".
"Well, yea. In Duran a while ago. But I haven't made any sales so far today", Jason Weasel answered.
"Wait here. I'll be back", Officer Fox said just before he walked back to his patrol car.
Most state police officers would have let 10 or 15 miles over the limit slide in most cases. However, Officer Fox was one of those "go by the book" officers.
Several minutes passed by, then Officer Fox returned to Jason's car.
As Officer Fox gave Jason Weasel back his driver's license, along with two tickets, he told Jason, "This is a ticket for driving 85 in a 70. This other one is for door to door soliciting on Sunday. Were you aware that door to door sales on Sunday were illegal in this state?"
"Oh...Well...Not really", Jason Weasel lied.
"In your line of business, you should have known better", Officer Fox replied.
Officer Fox then explained, "Sir. Within 45 days you have the option of disputing these tickets in court, or admitting to guilt by paying the fines. Which ever you decide, you'll need to do that at the clerk of court in the county where the infractions occurred. Which in this case would be Torrance County. That courthouse would be in Estancia".
Jason Weasel thought he could weasel his way out of one of the tickets with the argument, "Hey look, Officer. Maybe you got me for speeding. But on the soliciting on Sunday ticket, did you actually see me soliciting anything today?"
Officer Fox replied, "When I asked you if you've been out selling today, you conveyed an admission of guilt when you told me you did in Duran. Besides, once I write the ticket, I can't take it back. You can dispute it or pay it within 45 days".
Officer Fox then bid Jason Weasel, "Have a good afternoon", and headed back to his patrol car.
After Officer Fox got back in his patrol car and left, Jason Weasel hollered, "SHIT!", when he read fines on the tickets; $29 for speeding, and $75 for door to door soliciting on Sunday...That would be like $290 and $750 in an early 21st Century economy.
The only thing Jason Weasel could do about it at this point was to continue to Corona. He was willing to risk another ticket for door to door soliciting on Sunday in Corona...After all, Jason was Hell bent on at least making a sale that day. Thus he continued on to Corona, but watching his speed.
Along the way, Jason drove past the house trailer of Jerald and Cindy Coyote. It was a good thing for Jason he didn't stop there. Because Jerald's parents, Frank and Wanda, had called them about Jason Weasel...Thus, Jerald had an automobile coil, trip switch and a car battery rigged to the screen door for Jason Weasel...It would have shocked the crap out of Jason.
Before long, Jason Weasel was cruising into Corona. He had high hopes of having better luck in Corona. However, little did Jason know, the same kind of phone calls that circulated around Duran earlier in the day had already circulated around Corona.
As Jason began canvassing the first neighborhood, he found it to be the same thing in Corona as what he had experienced in Duran...Door slams and, "We don't want any".
At one stop along the street in front of a wolverine family's residence, Jason Weasel began making his way along the walkway to the house. As Jason was still approaching the house with a vacuum cleaner and the demo ash cup in paw, the male adult wolverine who was head of household came out and proceeded along the walkway toward Jason.
A moment before Jason and the Wolverine met, Jason began his sales pitch;

"	Hello there. I'm Jason Finwick Weasel with Genco Direct ...

The wolverine walked right on past Jason as he snatched the vacuum cleaner out of his paws.
"Heeeyyyyy!", Jason retorted as the wolverine began to carry the vacuum cleaner back to Jason's car.
Without saying a word, the wolverine continued carrying the vacuum cleaner back to Jason's car, opened the right rear door, placed the vacuum cleaner back on the rear seat, then closed the door. The wolverine then gave Jason Weasel a stern look as he raised his arm and pointed down the street...Jason got the message good and clear from the wolverine, which meant, "That way. Get going".
Once Jason got back in his car, he continued canvassing the neighborhood, getting the same results at each place he stopped at...Doors slammed..."We don't want any".
"Oh well", Jason muttered to himself. "They say a sure sign of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result each time".
Thus, Jason left that neighborhood, and drove to another neighborhood in a different part of Corona. And wouldn't you know it...The very first place Jason stopped at in that neighborhood was the residence of Marge Coyote's parents, Harvey and Alma.
When Harvey and Alma noticed Jason's '55 Hudson Hornet stopping along side the street, Harvey said to Alma, "Honey. That car fits the description of that weasel's car Marge told me about over the phone a while ago".
"It is him", Alma said as she and Harvey saw Jason Weasel get out of the car and get a vacuum cleaner off the back seat.
"To our battle station!", Harvey proclaimed as Jason Weasel began making his way from his car with a vacuum cleaner and the demo ash cup.
"I'm with you, Sweetie", Alma agreed.
The battle station was in the garage...Harvey and Alma had a lawn sprinkler system installed a couple of years ago. It was not equipped with timer or a rain sensor. Like many lawn sprinkler systems back in the day, it had a wheel handle valve in the garage to manually turn it on and off.
As Jason walked along the walkway to the house, Harvey turned the sprinkler valve on almost all the way.
Along the walkway, the sprinklers suddenly came on, spraying a barrage of water all over Jason and the vacuum cleaner.
In the garage, Harvey and Alma laughed as they watched from a window, Jason Weasel hopping around, then running back out to the street.
Harvey then turned the sprinklers off...Jason stood there a moment to be sure the sprinklers weren't going to come back on. Then he proceeded back toward the house.
"Wanna give it a whirl?", Harvey asked Alma.
"Why not?", Alma replied.
Alma turned the sprinklers on only a little bit, which was enough to send Jason scampering back to the street. Harvey and Alma laughed as they watched Jason standing out on the street, wet, and holding a vacuum cleaner and ash cup.
"He's givin' it another try", Harvey said to Alma, as Jason made another attempt to approach the house.
"Not for long", Alma said with a chuckle as she barely turned on the sprinklers.
Jason then stepped back.
The sprinklers stopped.
Jason proceeded toward the house again.
The sprinklers barely came on again.
Jason jumped back.
The sprinklers stopped again.
Jason took one step.
The sprinklers barely came on, then went back off.
Jason then, with vacuum cleaner and ash cup in paw, made a quick dash toward the house.
That's when Alma turned the sprinklers on full blast.
Harvey and Alma were almost rolling with laughter as they watched Jason suddenly stop, then run back to his car, put the vacuum cleaner back in, then hop in the car and took off and left.
"Victory is ours", Harvey proclaimed.
"Coyotes one. Weasel zero", Alma added as she turned off the sprinklers.
Jason Weasel then tried a few more places, but with no luck. Jason then noticed a house with extra cars that looked like there was company visiting. Jason saw this as a double sale opportunity. There have been times before that a door to door sales animal can make a sale to the resident family, and also another sale to those who are visiting...Thus Jason parked his car on the side of the street, got a vacuum cleaner and ash cup, and proceeded to the house.
Jason had noticed three coyote cubs (1 female and 2 older males) in the front yard with garden hoses and trigger nozzles who were having water battles with each other...But what Jason didn't know, this was the residence of Al Coyote's parents, Arnie and Ruby. The guests visiting were Ruby's sister Cathaline, and Cathaline's husband, son Wiley, daughter in law, and the three grand cubs who were in the front yard with the garden hoses.
As Jason Weasel approached the house, the oldest grand cub, Julius Coyote, announced to the other two grand cubs, "Ready!...Aim!...WATERRRRR!".
All three coyote cubs shot water streams from the hoses at Jason Weasel, catching him off guard enough to cause him to drop the vacuum cleaner on the concrete walkway, and breaking one of it'a wheels.
"Hey! How would you cubs like to be made to pay for a vacuum cleaner?!"/t], Jason retorted. "You cubs crazy?!"
Arnie, Ruby and Cathaline, along with Cathaline's husband, her son Wiley and Wiley's wife, all looked out of a window and laughed...After all, the cubs were put up to it.
As Jason picked up the broken vacuum cleaner, the cubs continued shooting water at him, and mimicing artillery noises.
"You cubs knock that off!", Jason retorted as one cub shot him in the ass, and another cub knocked his hat off with a water stream.
When Jason went to pick up his hat, he accidentally dropped his demo ash cup full of soggy cigarette ashes in his hat.
"DAMN IT!", Jason Weasel hollered as he picked up his hat with the spilled ash cup still in it.
Jason then hastened back to his car, put the broken vacuum cleaner back in the car, got in and cranked up the motor, then placed his hat on the floor of the car...He couldn't wear the hat now until it gets dry cleaned.
Just before Jason took off, the cubs wet down his car. As Jason drove off, the cubs laughed as they noticed he had to momentarily turn on the wipers to clear the water off the windshield.
After Jason Weasel had left, the adults commended the cubs for a job well done.

As for Jason Weasel, he finally came to the conclusion that knocking on everyone's doors on a Sunday just didn't pan out so hot...Heaven knows the business of door to door sales is hard enough on weekdays.
Jason then decided to call it a day and head on home, and take Sunday as a day off after all.

To be continued.

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Inkbunny

Clarence Coyote and Project Courier - Part 32 Edited SFW - Door to Door Sales Weasel

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