That's pretty much the boat I'm in right now. I know that maybe no one is going to read this. I'll just feel better having gotten it out of my head. But some advice or a fresh perspective might be good.
It's all to do with this story idea I've got. Or rather one that has sprung from something I read. And that is what is bugging me. Try as I might, I can't help thinking that I could never write anything as good as this piece, that I could never have created the ideas that I'm seeing in it. Ideas that seem so simple and obvious and cool that I can't help wondering why I couldn't think of them myself.
Because I couldn't. And now I never can. That's what bugs me the most. I can never have this idea on my own now. I've seen it and it's in my head. Which is going to influence anything I try to write on this. There is always going to be this lingering doubt that it didn't come from my own ideas but from what I've read so the idea isn't really mine.
I know that the list of things out there I haven't thought of could fill up a battleship but the doubt about this one affects me in a way nothing else has. It's not like I haven't got my own ideas about what to write and I do feel inspired to write it. I can easily sit down and get ideas on paper about what I'd like to write. It's just there is always this worry in the back of my head I can't shake, that what I write just won't be as good and can never compare.
Am I just making too much of this and worrying over nothing? I keep telling myself that if I just relax and go with the flow, I'll be able to create ideas that are just as awesomely groundbreaking as this one seems to be. That I can't just force ideas to come into my head or will myself to think of something new and yet like this idea I've seen because that isn't how creativity works. My head gets that but my heart is having a little more trouble accepting that and I just can't stop stewing over this as much as I want too. I just want to stop thinking like this and enjoy writing it but I'm scared that I can't.
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7 years, 6 months ago
09 Nov 2016 11:34 CET
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