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My friends just acquired a sex drive at the age of 33

by DiitMiaMon

https://inkbunny.net/j/349977-SammuWamm-i-just-discover...

John is known on 3PR for being that guy with no libido that everyone spams with porn in his inbox.

He has a blog where he shares the most weirdest things people email him and comments on them and he's so damn plain it's hilarious.

He also finds all kinds of weird non-sexual stuff online that's just interesting to look at.

Me, him and 2 other guys write an episodic novel called Albion which is a serious story about a fantasy world too. It's actually quite popular on 3PR. People find John via that and then his personality wins them over.

For the last 20 years or something everyone's been getting on his back about how he doesn't have any sexual urges and we've yall been trying really REALLY hard to find if he has like a really obscure fetish and shit and that's why he can't get it up and finally we found it.

hand holding. MOHTERFUCKING HAND HOLDING is his fetish.

I was totes expecting it to be some really dark and sinister secret or something but of course it's just as lame as him. No offense.

Thought it was pretty obscure for a fetish but it turns out it's the number 4 fetish in the entire world after BDSM, feet and vore but before transformation. Fucking furries amirite lol. Thumbs to the fluffies.

It's mostly popular in India and it's pretty new in the top fetish list.

The sciency name is Chirophilia but nobody ever calls it that.

Also they have a Reddit (https://www.reddit.com/r/handholding).

-

TLDR. My friend found his fetish. Now spam https://inkbunny.net/SammuWamm with sexy pictures of hands.

Viewed:	27 times
Added:	6 years, 5 months ago 15 Mar 2019 04:55 CET

174 Comments on this Journal

Leave a Comment...

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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please don't send me any more pictures of severed hands though

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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I played that hard role no sex for a while.

Mon made me crack.

How you survived both Mon and Beans until now is a medical miracle.

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 5 months ago

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when your sanity is already lost anything goes

Peggy

6 years, 5 months ago

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i hear that

DiitMiaMon

6 years, 5 months ago

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same

Peggy

6 years, 5 months ago

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i swear some of that is directly my fault

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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yes, yes it is

DiitMiaMon

6 years, 5 months ago

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and mine

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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Edited 6 years, 5 months ago by Owner

it's directly you two's faults

Peggy

DiitMiaMon

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 5 months ago

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lol

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 5 months ago

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severed hands it is! XD

Peggy

6 years, 5 months ago

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lol give the man a break.

...

send severed penises instead! Xd

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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holy hell no! XC=3X|

Peggy

6 years, 5 months ago

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severed...

vaginas?

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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i predicted you saying severed tits but jesus christ that's much worse

Peggy

6 years, 5 months ago

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worse..

-or better? |:3

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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stop

Peggy

6 years, 5 months ago

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i'm just fucking with you lol sorry

DiitMiaMon

6 years, 5 months ago

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you're not..but you could be.

you would make a great pair in a parody game.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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the hell did you get that idea?

DiitMiaMon

6 years, 5 months ago

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well you're both hoofers

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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that's a little racist

DiitMiaMon

6 years, 5 months ago

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not really nowadays i think with land of lore

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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i am my own rule to that

DiitMiaMon

6 years, 5 months ago

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so you say

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 5 months ago

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i think the idea works

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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i agree

DiitMiaMon

6 years, 5 months ago

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oh lordy what the fuck?

that's nasty. i'm censoring my hips just thinking of it.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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took me a sec to understand what the heck you were talking about there

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 5 months ago

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i'm terrified of you now

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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what in the name of God!

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 5 months ago

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God had forsaken this place long ago

XaviTheLover

XaviTheLover

6 years, 5 months ago

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i would normally call you out for using the lord's name in vain but i gotta admit the concept of severed vaginas is probably worthy of God's intervention

Xman21yo

Xman21yo

6 years, 5 months ago

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yeah i think somebody needs help either divine or medical

Yolanda

Yolanda

6 years, 5 months ago

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i would like to dispense both.

Peggy

6 years, 5 months ago

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Edited 6 years, 5 months ago by Owner

what about fisting?

what about fingering?

what about handjobs?

what about groping?

what about finger sucking and urethra play?

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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why do you guys make me feel like i have to explain myself for everything?

i just like hands holding hands.

that's it.

Peggy

6 years, 5 months ago

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it's because we want you to have fun and spend time with us and be a part of what we are by liking the same things.

that's how social things work.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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take your comment without any context to it then yes but can you imagine trying to have these sexually charged conversations to regular people in public?

seriously you're all totally insane.

Peggy

6 years, 5 months ago

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you like it or you wouldn't stay.

you're not as smart as you think.

we see right through you.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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think what you like but it wont make it true.

i stay because i'm dedicated to Albion and my fans.

Peggy

6 years, 5 months ago

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yeah i call bullshit on that

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 5 months ago

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same.

he can always take his fans elsewhere.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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don't you remember how badly that worked out last time?

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 5 months ago

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yes but now you have a legion of goats as well

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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i dare say i could do the Sammu fandom but not Albion

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 5 months ago

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that sounds the opposite of what makes sense.

you haven't tried since series 3 started.

I think you should.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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well i might as well try.

i'll give it a go.

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 5 months ago

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that sounds great.

make it a general site for both Sammu and Albion.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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yeah i intend to make it a general site for all my work

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 5 months ago

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journal that fucker

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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okay

https://inkbunny.net/j/350616-SammuWamm-thinking-of-mak...

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 5 months ago

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thanks

DiitMiaMon

6 years, 5 months ago

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here here

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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you're nuts both of you

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 5 months ago

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no she's right

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 5 months ago

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this is spam and harassment.

you can't be aggressively nice to a person and expect them to enjoy it.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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that

DiitMiaMon

6 years, 5 months ago

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groping is the natural progression from hand holding.

i bet i can get him to evolve to that.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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i don't want to progress

DiitMiaMon

6 years, 5 months ago

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you'll thank me later

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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when will you learn that i'm not like you

DiitMiaMon

6 years, 5 months ago

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well you have a fetish now so i was right about that

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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yeah but it's mild and took me years to develop.

much the same as the approach you should take.

DiitMiaMon

6 years, 5 months ago

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holy hell it's not gonna take another 30 years for you to get around to groping is it?

how will you have a legacy at this rate?

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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1- who said i want 1
2- i'm quite happy with this pace

DiitMiaMon

6 years, 5 months ago

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you're gonna die having never lived

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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i don't think i could take the intense amount of "living" you get up to

DiitMiaMon

6 years, 5 months ago

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well i hope you're happy with the path you chose

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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i am

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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i can't stand that much living either but at least i've loosened up.

you have a perminent stick up your ass

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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i leave people butthurt not the other way around.

you assume being predominantly asexual is a bad thing.

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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you turned a stiff joke into gay imagery.

what was on your mind at that moment?

nobody mentioned it until you said it.

and you call us pervy.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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yeah like one of you wasn't about to make a sexual comment there

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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okay i'll let you have that

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 5 months ago

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i was SO going to make a sexual comment

XaviTheLover

XaviTheLover

6 years, 5 months ago

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i bet he makes one anyway

Xman21yo

Xman21yo

6 years, 5 months ago

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checking the time stamps on the posts he barely waited a minute to do so.

OrangeOlive

OrangeOlive

6 years, 5 months ago

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nono it's..

hand holding leads to kissing.
kissing leads to grope.
grope leads to or..al..sex.

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 5 months ago

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you made me read that in Yoda's voice you ass

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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same

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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anal sex would have also worked

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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again, something on your mind there?

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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nope. you're reaching

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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i am but did i catch anything?

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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no

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 5 months ago

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maybe

XaviTheLover

XaviTheLover

6 years, 5 months ago

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most likely

Xman21yo

Xman21yo

6 years, 5 months ago

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i myself think Sammu is way too friendly with Maxwell

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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can't people be nice to each other in this modern age without everybody thinking they're attracted to each other?

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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yes but you're more 'nice' to

MaxwellGalloway

than anyone else.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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everyone keeps saying that but i can't see it myself.

i hope there isn't something there.

Xman21yo

Xman21yo

6 years, 5 months ago

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how fucking clueless are you?

you're obviously trolling us in some way.

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 5 months ago

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maybe but I'm personally enjoying the show

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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soon moving to a different website

XaviTheLover

XaviTheLover

6 years, 5 months ago

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yes that's very courteous of you

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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i just think it' the right time for irt

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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that last bit is one pretty huge freaking leap

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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yeah i would have thought normal sex came first

XaviTheLover

XaviTheLover

6 years, 5 months ago

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define "normal" sex

Xman21yo

Xman21yo

6 years, 5 months ago

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spread eagle

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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yep.

that right there.

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 5 months ago

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it even has 3 syllables

OrangeOlive

OrangeOlive

6 years, 5 months ago

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that's much better.

Yolanda

Yolanda

6 years, 5 months ago

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it's less disgusting as well

XaviTheLover

XaviTheLover

6 years, 5 months ago

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I prefer the term hippie hugs.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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that's fucking adorable

Peggy

6 years, 5 months ago

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we must find out how to make these hands into something more sexual

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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no you must not

DiitMiaMon

6 years, 5 months ago

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oh but we must Xd

OrangeOlive

OrangeOlive

6 years, 5 months ago

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yes we must

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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reminds me of the time all you gys started undressing me with your eyes

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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when did they ever stop?

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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tear rolls down my cheek

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 5 months ago

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lol

Xman21yo

Xman21yo

6 years, 5 months ago

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i bet it's difficult being an admin when Mon is also an admin.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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i should know

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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more than you would believe

OrangeOlive

OrangeOlive

6 years, 5 months ago

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well it's a start.

gives us something to work with.

he'll be a perv before 2030 i swear.

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 5 months ago

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yeah 2020 is oo much of an ask

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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that would be one insane december

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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ikr

Xman21yo

Xman21yo

6 years, 5 months ago

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well xmas is gonna suck this year on 3pr

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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I think that was decided the moment john opened up about his fetish.

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 5 months ago

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yeah this year is done.

come back when the new Elder Scrolls comes out.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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that's a different topic entirely

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 5 months ago

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I'm up for a journal about just that

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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then make your own

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 5 months ago

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but if you make a journal about it more people will come

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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Well I don't really want to discuss Elder Scrolls or RPGs right now so you're on your own

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 5 months ago

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yeah I think I will.

https://inkbunny.net/j/350615-DomTheGoat-elder-scrolls

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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thanks

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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true

OrangeOlive

OrangeOlive

6 years, 5 months ago

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well then it's truly your xmas.

wait he's leaving to make his own forum.

at last a solution!

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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yeah so now all them haters can shut their f'in mouths.

lol can you imagine if i spoke like that.

Yolanda

Yolanda

6 years, 5 months ago

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to be fair you'd be doing yourself a favor by doing so.

though i appreciate your attempts to stay civil.

XaviTheLover

XaviTheLover

6 years, 5 months ago

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SammuWamm

's xmas will be more entertaining.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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why not join us

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 5 months ago

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well he's already a member of the ginormous hand clubs so dirty high fives it is

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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must resist urge to use anti-too-slow trick i know

Xman21yo

Xman21yo

6 years, 5 months ago

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i cannot believe that trick actually works.

damn.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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yeah but you need really long arms like me otherwise you get uncomfortably close.

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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john secretly finding ways to get random strangers to bonk each other since 2001.

Xman21yo

Xman21yo

6 years, 5 months ago

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Edited 6 years, 5 months ago by Owner

well thank goodness i read that before trying it.

it's like one of those biased coin games the tossers get you with at the bar only it's designed for long armed people to flirt with.

at least we know how

SammuWamm

gets the bitches now.

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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you're assuming he gets bitches.

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 5 months ago

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if he ever revealed his location he'd be buried in them.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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true

OrangeOlive

OrangeOlive

6 years, 5 months ago

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I swear he lives in Creeton, Scotland

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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where did this rumor come from?

Yolanda

Yolanda

6 years, 5 months ago

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i think it was you who started the rumor

XaviTheLover

XaviTheLover

6 years, 5 months ago

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he simply said the trend of which shirts were worn when which is more a product of the rumor than the source.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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that

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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his hands are huge he'd knock you flat

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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especially as i aim o punch them in the face instead

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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considering it's Billy that's reasonable

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 5 months ago

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hey! XC

XaviTheLover

XaviTheLover

6 years, 5 months ago

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also watch out for Mr.Tickle's reach

Xman21yo

Xman21yo

6 years, 5 months ago

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guy can slap someone's shit in China is he wanted to.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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so you admit i have long arms, a bulky build, a broad chest and huge hands, etc.

-and then you question whether my penis is also large?

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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to be fair 8 inches is not that big

Xman21yo

Xman21yo

6 years, 5 months ago

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he talks like it's 10

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 5 months ago

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to be fair

Staph

. how many people do you know who are taller than 6?

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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this

OrangeOlive

OrangeOlive

6 years, 5 months ago

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yeah I'm like 36 inches

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

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you are a girl, Mikan.

Yolanda

Yolanda

6 years, 5 months ago

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sometimes i wonder

Xman21yo

Xman21yo

6 years, 5 months ago

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on the subject of being "nice"

Peggy

.

If a girls says no and a man keeps doing it that makes them a creep.

why should the other way around be socially acceptable?

MaxwellGalloway

MaxwellGalloway

6 years, 5 months ago

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this

thank you nate

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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my point exact.

thanks nate.

XaviTheLover

XaviTheLover

6 years, 5 months ago

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yes but it's the expected intentions

Xman21yo

Xman21yo

6 years, 5 months ago

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what do you mean by "expected".

you're kinda assuming that one sex does one hting while the other does something different.

even if there was a lick of truth in that don't you think that the stereotypical role are in this case reversed.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 5 months ago

link

THANK YOU NATE!

bows

Staph

Staph

6 years, 5 months ago

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I was gonna say

Yolanda

Yolanda

6 years, 5 months ago

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i would say her porn spamming is more akin to males anyway

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