Keep in mind the corrections I'm making are meant to make your English translations sound more natural, but you definitely are getting the meaning across well! :)
More natural for Sonic would be a contraction: Sonic: Isn't it obvious? Keep in mind the correctio
Translation: Sonic: look how handsome he is Chao: CHAO CHAO Shadow: now what does he want? Sonic: isn't it obvious? Sonic: he's probably hungry Shadow: let's go now
Translation: Sonic: look how handsome he is Chao: CHAO CHAO Shadow: now what does he want? Sonic: