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You are your own worst critic...

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by Zenobius

Gallery

Whoever said that was absolutely right. LOL! =P
Found these sketches while sifting through my drawing drawer and figured that it was worth an upload simply to show off how hard I am on myself whenever it comes to art.
There are some who say that people in the Autism spectrum don't try to improve themselves and that they just stick to what they're comfortable with... well, let this be a way for me to call bullshit on that claim. =P

What IS true about people with autism (and something I've noticed in myself) is that it's nearly impossible for me to lose certain drawing habbits, I see them, I notice them, I know that they're bad but they still follow me around like a lost puppy.
At the very least I can say that- despite my limitations, I at the very least try my best to improve... keyword here being: 'try'. ;P

Oh and yes, I criticize myself in English, which is weird since I'm Dutch but I guess it's because I usually think in english whenever I'm drawing/sketching... What can I say? I'm just a weirdo. X3

For those who can't read my scribbly scribbles: (from left to right)
- Overall horrible drawing!
- <Use references before drawing you twat!>
- Are these toes even connected to the ball?
- Spyro looks like Tweeg from Teddy Ruxpin here! (Aka. I suck!)
- WTF Even is this!?
- How long are those toes? Geez!
- Doesn't flow!
- Not as horrible but still bad!
- Passable (took me long enough!)
- A little better but still miles off!
- Tip: Don't ever draw paws like this again!!!
- Semi-Passable
- Still needs work!
- Lol! Flatfoot
- Tip: Making extra lines does not auto-improve artwork!
- TL;DL: (too long, didn't look) I suck at drawing!

Keywords

male 1,114,994, dragon 139,125, boy 74,517, paws 64,302, feet 47,947, art 30,723, paw 20,324, toes 19,866, claws 19,400, foot 16,110, drawing 12,960, soles 9,357, guy 8,101, footpaw 5,252, footpaws 5,208, sketches 4,850, western 4,406, feetpaws 3,882, spyro 3,529, western dragon 3,041, old 2,438, sole 2,158, toe 2,082, claw 2,066, feetpaw 999, self 912, language 543, harsh 99, zenobius 79, horrible 69, critique 38, introspective 24, critic 24, improve 17, criticism 9, improving 4

Details

Type: Sketch

Published: 7 years, 5 months ago

Rating: General

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PawtasticYosh

7 years, 5 months ago

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Spyro feet <3

Zenobius

7 years, 5 months ago

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@ PawtasticYosh

Yup! Can never get enough of his feet myself. ;P

PawtasticYosh

7 years, 5 months ago

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@ Zenobius

pretty understandable, they're so lovely ^_^

Blackymoon

7 years, 5 months ago

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Cute and huggable Spyro-feets <3

Zenobius

7 years, 5 months ago

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@ Blackymoon

Whenever I can draw them correctly. =w=;
Thanks! ;P *snuggles*

Blackymoon

7 years, 5 months ago

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@ Zenobius

All of them look nice and snuggable in their own way <3

KaoNocturatzu

7 years, 5 months ago

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Edited 7 years, 5 months ago by Owner

Hehe! SO true to a T, people used to accuse me of committing crimes in art because of the way I draw (citing various things like "Actually open an anatomy book and study". Ironically, my art didn't change at all, but as time went on, people stopped being so critical (though I still learned the hard way 'NEVER ask for open criticism. ONLY ask a person you really trust." Random people often liken critique to insulting and often don't take the time to understand what direction you're going.)

Yeah as a guy on the autism spectrum myself, it's really frustrating that we all get lumped together and it often means we get bullied for it by those who are supposed to be "normal". My former boss was like that. he knew I was autistic, but he did everything in his power to destroy all creative elements in me to make me lean towards the negative stereotype and bashed my art at every corner he had the chance.

Despite all that above, I know I'm the only one who knows how to draw a Starmaninjian and even to this day, the smallest nuances can have me completely rip up a piece of paper. Since I'm the only one, I need to draw them perfectly or else no one will know how they're supposed to look (including me, though I can see them in my mind and recognize artists who draw SIMILAR to how they would look). It's nearly impossible due to scale and perspective being somewhat arbitrary, but in the end, the greatest artist in the world in my opinion draw to bring their vision to life (presuming said vision is NOT meant to be some sort of negative commentary that only exists because of the existence of an outside force, where if that outside force didn't exist, the art would be meaningless). And the harshest critics tend to be those who are fine with their soul having a price (and still isn't worth spending a dime on).

Zenobius

7 years, 5 months ago

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Edited 7 years, 5 months ago by Owner

@ KaoNocturatzu

Thank you for the kind words buddy, I myself always live by a little page that Robert Crumb once wrote here --> https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/42/39/a8/4239...
"Don't let him kid you. "art" is just a racket! A hoax perpetrated on the public by so-called "Artists" who set themselves up on a pedistal and promoted by pantywaste ivory-tower intellectuals and sobsister "Critics" who think the world owes them a living!"

Like you I create things that I would like to see more of, the same thing is with the game that I'm working on, I create things because I don't see them enough (or don't see them done in the way that I'd personally like to see) and create worlds with living characters and magic and adventure... and then I've met people who have told me: "Why would you be drawing/making this? You're only wasting your talent!" <- No, if I couldn't draw what I myself would really want to draw- then and only then I'd be wasting said talent because I couldn't use that talent in the way that I myself wanted to use it. The only reason why someone would find your art a 'waste' is because you're simply not drawing what they would want you to draw, practically controlling the way you choose to express yourself. ;3

I'm not saying here that criticism is bad and should be ignored, when it comes to anatomy and overall design I still think it's worth that someone looks over it (hell, a good friend of mine spotted a lot of things in my work and gamedesign that I think are worth investing in) but someone else simply shouldn't just 'control' what drives you to draw in the first place. If I'd like to draw a comic about a talking watermelon then someone could find that weird but they shouldn't go and say that I "can't draw that". You are holding the pencil and thus you are in charge of what's being put on paper, not them. Giving tips on anatomy? Sure, always welcome. Use of colour? Composition? Yes, gimme all that criticism because that actually helps to improve my overall work. Subject Matter on the other hand isn't something that can- or should be critisized in my humble opinion. It's like the story with George Lucas who wanted to make his fairy tale set in space and was laughed off as some kind of weirdo and then- to everyone's surprise, made millions when he created that space fairy tale called: Star Wars.

I also agree with you that sometimes the people who call themselves 'normal' are often the ones who act the most 'autistic'. "No, you can't do it like <this> or <that> because other people haven't done it in that way" in other words: they simply want you to make what already exists, what's already proven, already familiar and (dare I say?) 'safe' to them. It's like what Roarey Raccoon said in his cub journal: If the majority of the population has a say in what is allowed to be talked about (or in this case: drawn), if only popular ideas are permitted, then the entire system of ideas rots in a stagnant pool of the same ideas, never to change ever.

KaoNocturatzu

7 years, 5 months ago

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@ Zenobius

Yeah, criticism has it's place in terms of giving advice to improve, but most people likening criticism to insults mean they mostly criticize something or someone because they're envious and don't want to take the time to learn the skill (see the coutless cases of "Can you draw me something for free? I can't draw myself and I don't have any money" just for those same idiots to not even like your art "Uh...this isn't what I wanted, I want you to draw me something that's perfect in my eyes.") It gives them a sense of power and control that they clearly don't deserve, but I've learned that no one on this planet can force you to do something you don't want to do, especially when it comes to art. I don't make money off of art, nor do I ever want to cause the second you ask for something from people to make art, you become their slave. So I find other ways to make money and let the money fuel my ability to make more art.

Hehe, to your second point, I got into SO many arguments about atheism for the same reason (I do believe in a higher order. it's what keeps me inspired to keep drawing and gives me purpose to every piece I make). They try to denounce it as wasting my time, but my argument, like yours is "If there's no afterlife, then what's the point of doing ANYTHING in this life? Why don't I just die and be done with any suffering?" Course, they have no empathy so they don't really care that I make that argument, but surprise surprise, they tend to be the surliest and most selfish people I come across anyway, cause they have no modesty. I haven't had to put up with it lately thankfully, but I'm not here to compete with people who don't even have any self respect.

Hehe, The third paragraph I agree entirely. Just gotta becareful who you ask regardless. There are some well meaning people who see my art and genuinely feel that the size I draw feet is "wrong" anyway. They simply don't like large feet and trained themselves to be uncomfrotable at the sight. Same for breast size. The size I draw feet isn't what's important, it's all about the control and balance. When people see that and see what I'm trying to go for, they can offer advice that will help me make the large feet look more natural even to the Starmaninjians. But most people compare the Starmaninjians to Earth anatomy and that's just wrong (or they used to, I don't see it happening anymore thankfully).

Hehe, let's just keep doing what we do and ignore the riff-raff. People will continue to attack things they don't understand (as our election has proven..) and they genuinely feel the world will be better by killing off the things they don't like. Still, no one has control over the man/woman who doesn't fear death. It's like the bible alludes to. A man/woman of faith will be free from teh torment of H8ll simply because they never subcumb to it. If you're confident in who you are and don't need anyone else in the world to make you into a something, you're far more likely to be successful in making your dreams come true, cause that's the one thing no one on this planet, not even through death, can take away from you if you're spirit is strong enough. Hehe, that's why I don't care what people say or do. I'll always be a Starmaninjian, cause only I can dictate what a Starmaninjian is, and therefore, who I am!

Zenobius

7 years, 5 months ago

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@ KaoNocturatzu

Heh~ I have a similar, although different reason. Since I'm an Atheist I don't believe in an afterlife and therefor believe that the life I am living right now is all the more important to invest in, to leave something for other people to remember me by.
So regardless of believes, we're practically on one line: why try to stop someone from doing what they believe in or love? I will never understand why people will always try to block things that they don't understand or like. We are all living on this one floating mud-rock in outer space (until I guess space travelling becomes a thing) so why block ideas? Let people draw what they want, create what they want, explore horizons nobody dared to explore before, why stifle creativity instead? :3

And yes, I also agree with what you said on Starmaninjian. It's hard for people to put their minds in a certain mindset when looking at other people's work. It's like someone looking at a Dungeons and Dragons game and going on how magic doesn't exist and how dragons aren't real and I'm like: "Yeah, but you have to put your mind to it!" In a similar fashion a Zelda game is unrealistic but yet a lot of people play Dungeons and Dragons or Zelda because they can lose themselves in that world and accept those worlds for what they are. This is ironically what people mean when they say that you have to: "be more open-minded" yet at the same time turn around and say how X is unrealistic because Y wasn't to their liking. That- for me personally, just proved that we should simply strive to create the things that we believe in. Like the story with Star Wars: something can only be proven false when it has been given a chance to prove itself first. Similary: you can't say that a car doesn't drive well simply by looking at it without driving it first. And to top it all off: most of the things simply come down to 'taste'. Who cares what you enjoy? As long as you enjoy it, that's all that should matter. What would they gain by taking it away from you? Nothing but making your life miserable in the process. Your happiness matters and if you can make other people happy with your work then the choice here is an easy one. ;3

KaoNocturatzu

7 years, 5 months ago

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@ Zenobius

Hehehe, I can definitely say you're one of the few self proclaimed Athiests I can really respect. Most of them (all but 2 I swear) were those types who assaulted me ironically because I believed in something that was "illogical" to their narrow perspective (and would actively try to pursue a debate with me that I knew up front was going to be onesided). After all, the way I see it is more universal anyway, "You dictate who you are, and therefore, you are your own deity." regardless of what you believe in, as if you're yourself and don't let yourself fall into the pit of needing to assault other people to have a purpose in life, then you're doing the right thing for yourself. (I think it's clear what Goddess I pray to, but given it's all the Starmaninjian realm to me anyway, in a sense I mostly am strongly religious simply to answer the question "Why am I here on Earth? What should I do next? Why not just go home now?" and sure enough, every time I had the chance to "go home" (College was the WORST), I...stayed. SOMETHING told me why I needed to still be here, so here I am. Hehehehe! I feel like I'm immortal against my will sometimes.)

But yes, precisely to a T. If more people could be like you, then religion wouldn't have to be an "argument with a brick wall" (That's still lost by virtue of merely having the argument). Everyone has a utopia they would like to live in. The strongest minds bring that utopia somewhat to life and embrace what they enjoy, like you and I do. Long as you believe in SOMETHING that makes you "yourself", that's what's most important and for those numerous people who have sold their soul to the devil... they're not ever going to convince us to do the same. Hehehe!

Zenobius

7 years, 5 months ago

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@ KaoNocturatzu

Yeah, there are those who always try to convince you that 'their believes' are better than yours but again, it's subjective because like you've already said yourself: We all have our own idea of what a 'perfect utopia' is and none of us are either right or wrong in that respect as we're all living our own lives here. So yeah, no-one is going to tell me to stop doing what I love simply because 'it bothers' them. ;P

Live and let live I'd say. X3

KaoNocturatzu

7 years, 5 months ago

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@ Zenobius

Hehe! Keep Dreaming and doing, Doing and Dreaming!

Shiftymon

7 years, 5 months ago

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Whatever gives you a good stiffy can't be bad, can it? x3

Zenobius

7 years, 5 months ago

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@ Shiftymon

Heheh~ I most certainly agree with that statement! ;P

Although what gives me a stiffy will most likely leave cities in rubble with crater-sized paw prints everywhere. X3

Shiftymon

7 years, 5 months ago

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@ Zenobius

Heh well you know it in my case it's related to your sona's paws and your paw style...and i recently got into macro POVs like a good footpaw with a high heel looming over a city while the character has a naughty grin and such >//>

Zenobius

7 years, 5 months ago

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@ Shiftymon

Ooh~ I really like that idea as well. =P
Perhaps Someone like Twinkle who just wants to show off his dance moves to the tiny mites below him, knowing very well that he and his high heeled footpaws look both sexy and dangerous from that low angle, knowing that the city's too small to stop him from 'showing off' and knowing that everyone will get a good look at his paws and heels when he does. X//3

Shiftymon

7 years, 5 months ago

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@ Zenobius

Exactly, he even has a dancesuit for occasions like that (i did a rough ref of it the other day ^^') and since his shoes are see through they'll still be able to have a good look of the padded soles >//>

Zenobius

7 years, 5 months ago

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@ Shiftymon

heh~ I wouldn't mind to see that ref. X//3
The see through shoes are also a nice idea... and now I have images in my head of a giant macro Twinkle dancing upon a tiny city. Thanks for that. ^///^

Shiftymon

7 years, 5 months ago

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@ Zenobius

Here it is ^^ : http://sta.sh/024j1wzu6tut

Heh and i'm glad I got that idea in your head x/3
The panties have no feet because that's where his feetpaws in heels go xP

Zenobius

7 years, 5 months ago

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@ Shiftymon

Oh wow that outfit does look sexy on him! <3
I can already imagine those panties wrapped tightly around his waist and legs as he performs his apocalyptic show. mrrrff!~
I would probably end up as a tiny little stain on the bottom of his shoes but it'll be all worth it. X//3

Shiftymon

7 years, 5 months ago

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@ Zenobius

Heh well not that I'm much into macro gore but well, if that floats your boat I'm okay with it x3'
He'd look sexy as hell I'd say, I kinda thought on it being clean yet enticing x3 (cus the skirt's short and whatnot so you can see his butt from under x3')

Zenobius

7 years, 5 months ago

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Edited 7 years, 5 months ago by Owner

@ Shiftymon

Heh that's okay buddy, I'm simply a sucker for destructive dominant giants. X3
And I totally agree that he'll look sexy in that outfit while quite literally rocking the town with all those massive quakes he'll cause. ;//P

Shiftymon

7 years, 5 months ago

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@ Zenobius

Heh it's alright I don't mind it x3'
And sound like you're actually willing to go for it though...since you liked it quite a ton o//o'

Zenobius

7 years, 5 months ago

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@ Shiftymon

Oh definitely I don't know when you'll see a comic or pic (since I'm still quite buisy with my game) but you'll see it pop up when I eventually get around to it. Heh~ X//3 I will say that this idea of yours certainly pushes all the right buttons for me. ;P

Shiftymon

7 years, 5 months ago

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@ Zenobius

Heh I'm not even pushing for it I'm actually kinda looking forward to your game since the last bit elft me interested in it >w<
And I knew it would since it's been kind of my thing lately x3'

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