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The Bar And You

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by ShaneFrost

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I feel shy some days...because..well..nothing is really ever certain. That's why there is such a thing as hope and faith for what we believe is good. Otherwise we start to feel a little lost about our lives..ourselves....and it hurts, it really does.. because no one else has the answers for us when we feel that way. But the truth is at the heart of ourselves, WE are our guides and everything externally is our teacher. If we don't listen to ourselves once in awhile..we lose hope in the one thing that should matter most to us individually. I want you to hear yourself sometimes because it's okay to remember you exist and have a say in your life. I have faith in you..I hope you do too because you deserve that comfort.

Keywords

art 34,303, hope 491, advice 124

Details

Type: Picture Series

Published: 9 years, 4 months ago

Rating: General

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8 Comments on this Submission

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Retrospecter

9 years, 4 months ago

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Every one of these makes me want to cry, and wish I'd seen them sooner. That's okay though. As long as I'm making progress.

ShaneFrost

9 years, 4 months ago

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@ Retrospecter

I hope you find whatever you are searching for in your life, and may peace come of it!

terrymouse

9 years, 4 months ago

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My God, Doc, where were you when I was just on AOL that fateful night back in late 1994? I could have used this lesson sorely!

ShaneFrost

9 years, 4 months ago

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@ terrymouse

What the hell man? I was just having a conversation about AOL and the 90's this morning.

terrymouse

9 years, 4 months ago

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@ ShaneFrost

I had no idea! I don't think what happened with me in 1994 was planned or anything! D:

Wtfkid1

9 years, 4 months ago

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Wow...this...this made me so happy. I'm crying right now, cause this, this post, is all I've ever wanted to see and hear. All my life, I've felt like trash, and thought that I only exist to be a dumb jester or clown, living to be laughed at cause I'm afraid of being alone and ignored. I've never expected much of myself, and everyone keeps saying that I'm really smart and that they're proud of me, but...I don't feel proud. I don't feel satisfied or relieved when I overcome an obstacle, I just feel glad that it's over. But other people feel impressed when they see me get straight A's in school, or not complain about having to clean the kitchen every night.

I'm not good at expressing myself. I have autism and depression, and since I was young, I've grown accustomed to looking down on myself, never expecting to do anything good in general, wether it be in life, or for myself. I hate how my body is covered in acne, I hate my unusuall manuerisms, and I hate my appearance.

I hate myself in general...and I don't know why. I want to like myself, I want to believe that I'm important and worth something, but all I'm good at is cleaning the kitchen, playing video games, getting schoolwork done, and putting on masks whenever I'm arohpund other people, even my family. They don't know of my self-loathing, my strange and silly thoughts, my theories, my fetishes, or what I'm really like. I'm afraid of showing my true self to anyone, because I don't like myself, and I fear being rejected, or being alone. I just want to enjoy life, enjoy myself, and love myself. I just want to know where to start.

But, when I see your art, it gives me hope, even if it's just a little. I feel like I can keep on going for a little bit longer, and make more of an effort to be myself, and to love myself for being me.

...I'm gonna try finding ways to effectively and efficiently express myself and communicate my feelings. thank you, Shane Frost and/or Callmedoc. Thanks for being a source of light to help me see, even if it's just a tiny spark, or a single matchstick, you, and other artists like you, give me hope. Goodnight, my inspiration(s), (including you Callmedoc). ...I love you. <3

ShaneFrost

9 years, 4 months ago

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Edited 9 years, 4 months ago by Owner

@ Wtfkid1

I really hope you find the things in your life that matter most to you, that help you reflect on you as a person. And I hope when you see that reflection, you can appreciate it. You take the time to be honest with us by leaving yourself on the text lines. I want to take the time to honest with you. I believe you can find the deepest part of yourself and discover what gives you strength in who you are.

you don't have to expect. You don't have to compare. Most of all, you don't have to hide your feelings. We all have different wants and needs. Some don't respond well to encouragement and praise externally, others doubt themselves a lot to the point they don't know how to feel satisfied. Continue giving yourself time. You have all the time in the world for yourself, I mean that.

Not everyone is going to agree with who you are. No matter how good or bad you may find yourself or love yourself. Not everyone is going to know who you really are to yourself and some are even going to be willing to try and hurt you in some way for that. Just don't ever let them hide that part of you that reaches out. I'll tell you something. I used to put on a show for people too. I'm terrified of talking to people in person. Some really made me feel bad when the truth was..I've been tired and sick. They just wanted to see the " real me " which to them was the mask. It hurts..but the place in your heart that matters the most is that place only meant for you.

It's alright to let yourself out when you finally want it. Some people will reject you. It happens to all of us. But then others, the ones that truly want you to be happy will see everything to what you are and they will support you because that is you. It's always been you. They will matter the most. Just..try now and again not to look down on yourself. You've hidden a lot about you for a while and when we hide things..we feel ashamed and that's when we start to believe in hating ourselves.

I just want you to know I appreciate yourself writing all that. For some it's terrifying. For others they believe they're weak. It's hard to tell people how you look at yourself. It's harder to really start looking deeper. Be strong and may your search bring you what you truly seek. You are loved as well. Be strong. :)

P.S, never fear that you might be alone. If that ever gets to you, leave a note for me sometime. You see, someone who cares is never far.

Nopast

9 years, 4 months ago

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This one does feel really relatable, like, admittingly it's only ever apparent to me with games, certain games at least. I kept going, even through the bad stuff within them because i told myself i had to, not even sure why, spending more and more money, yet, when i had the final piece, it just... lost every worth to me, like, all i did had no actual reason, and in the end, just made me stop because it was all gone for me, no spark, nothing.

It's a difficult one to handle, because right now, it's how it is for my coloring, not sure why exactly i do it, but i'm trying, and drawing, it's difficult to stay happy with if you set the bar to "get good fast" only to be struck be the view of not improving at all.
Thanks for giving me a different viewpoint on things like these~

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