The Life and Death of Stinky the Bee
Once upon a time, in a meadow during the summer, there was a big tree smack dab in the middle of this very meadow. On this tree was a hive, all big and full of honey, that was the home of a very special bee. His name was Stinky, and for good reason, too.
When Stinky was just a young bee, it was clear from the start that he was not like the others. For instance, unlike other bees, who were known to make a low “BZZZZZZZ” when they flew, Stinky made an annoying and rather high pitched “BEEEEE”. The other bees found this silly (and not in a good way), and many of the guys didn’t want to fly with him, for fear of looking like nerds in front of the girls.
Although, it really isn’t as bad as the main reason WHY he is called Stinky. You see, for the longest time, he had this thing with.. Uh.. Feces. Whenever he would go with the other bees to gather supplies to make honey with, he had a habit of getting distracted by the smell of bodily waste, and would almost immediately head towards the source of the smell, forgetting about his original duties.
As soon as he would find that shit, he would quickly make a landing upon it, and begin rolling around in it like a dog. He loved the feel, the smell, the TASTE, even. You might even say he has a scat fetish, but he doesn’t jack off to the sight of shit. He just rolls around in it and eats it. How he never gets sick, we’ll never know. One thing we do know is that once he is done, he will have become a very shitty bee.
Oh, how much the other bees hated having him return to the hive smelling like whatever crap he rolled around in, messing up the hive with his dirty feet. Sometimes a good batch of honey will get ruined because of him and his disinterest in hygiene. They only way they could clean him was to do it when he was asleep, which was not an easy task to do, since he tends to fly around in his sleep.
For so many bee years, he had really made life shitty for the other bees of the hive, and of course, they were tired of it. So, one of the bees decided to go and talk with the queen, who he was lucky to be friends with, and hopefully get rid of Stinky.
And not surprisingly, when this one bee discussed the thought of banishing Stinky from the hive to the queen, she didn’t waste any time agreeing with this idea, and the next morning, poor Stinky was forced to leave the hive.
Poor Stinky was rather upset by this at first, having all the bees kick him out of his home just because he wasn’t like them (well, that’s what he thought). But he soon got over it, and began to find a new place to stay. Maybe another hive might enjoy his company more than the bees back in the old hive.
For a while, he flew across the meadow, which seemed to be endless, him still unable to find a place where a hive might be. Suddenly, though, his little bee nose (if a bee could have a nose, that is) detected a familiar smell. The smell of fresh rabbit droppings, which he always enjoyed licking like a lollipop. So, as always, he completely forgot his quest for a new home and headed towards the little rabbit feces. As soon as he found those little pellets of shitty goodness, he instantly darted towards one and began to lick away. Little did he know was that he wasn’t the only one interested in those pellets. A big, mean, and equally smelly dung beetle wanted them too. While Stinky was busy sitting on top of one of the larger pellets, licking it happily, this bully of a dung beetle came up to him from behind and then suddenly pushed him off without warning. Stinky was rather surprised at this unexpected action, and stood up to see what pushed him. When he saw who it was, he was scared shitless by this beast of a bug. The beetle, upon seeing his scared little face, simply sighed and turned his rear to face one of the pellets, doing what most beetles of his kind would do with this stuff. But not before saying something that sounded rather mean to the poor bee in his native language. At least, Stinky thought it was mean. How would he know? He isn’t a dung beetle... Although he wishes he was.
After that incident, Stinky flew off, now trying to remember what he was doing before he found those pellets. As he flew aimlessly through the air, he soon came across a farm he never knew was there. Of course, he didn’t realise where he was, since he was too busy trying to figure out what he was originally doing a while ago. As we all know, farms have lots of crap lying around, and it didn’t take him long to suddenly get distracted again. This time he discovered the sweet smell of horse dung, a favourite of his. So, without further delay, he zoomed in on the source of this smell, soon finding several piles of horse shit near the stable. He took a good dive, and in a mere moment, found himself making a shitty crater in one of the piles. Oh, how much fun that was for him!
As he climbed out of the crater, his big bee eyes caught sight of a pretty butterfly. It looked like a he, and he seemed friendly. Maybe he might be willing to share this pile with him, unlike that mean beetle he met earlier. But then he noticed that there were more butterflies around him, all gathering in a neat circle and surrounding Stinky. Then he noticed that some of these butterflies were packing heat. That was when he realised that these butterflies were not as friendly as he thought. In fact, they were some kind of criminal gang, and they didn’t look pleased to see him. Seemed like they claimed this mound as theirs, and didn’t want anyone else stepping on what belonged to them. Not wanting to mess with dangerous crooks who could blast him to tiny bits, Stinky once again flew away, like he did before with the dung beetle.
Now Stinky was sad. Not only was he unable to enjoy any of the feces he would find on this beautiful day, but he still couldn’t recall why he was out here far away from his home. Oh, if only he didn’t get so easily distracted by the smell of shit. Before long, he was rather tired, and decided to land on a rock on the ground, right behind a big brown cow feasting on some grass. He sat down and began to think, trying his best to concentrate this time. What was he doing before he got distracted earlier? He still didn’t know. What he also didn’t know was that something was going to land on him soon. A fart was heard just behind him, which caused him to turn around, just now realising that the fart he heard was not from a little bug, but a really big cow. He looked up, and noticed its tail was raised. And being a master of all things shit, he knew what that meant.
Next thing he knew, a large load was dropped on him, crushing him under the weight of so much shit. Turns out he couldn’t handle all that crap as well as he thought, and before long, he died. But he died happy.
A shame he still couldn’t remember what the hell he was doing so far from home, though.
The End
