Ch 1. Loss
Loss (Ch. 1 of the series Struggles)
It had started out as a normal night patrolling the city, trying to get an idea as to what the Foot were up to. The air was the perfect temperature not to hot and not to cold, but there was just something that was bugging me. I couldn't push that feeling away that something, anything could go wrong tonight. I tried to blame it on the fact that you and I had a big fight about me coming home late last night after hanging with Casey. Yes I knew I had some cuts and some bruises from taking on a couple of very well armed low lives, and I listen to the worry you had in your voice for me without complaining until you started lecturing me and telling me I should be more careful! I lost my temper right there. I told you to stay the hell away from me and stop trying to lead me 24/7. All I could do was think what the shell are you doing Raph, you want to be with him but you keep pushing him away, after that fight though I didn't real give two shits, I was digging a bigger trench between us and if a fight is what he wanted, well he was going to get a full on war! It was not until everything started to go down hill that night that I actually was afraid that the fight we just had could very well be the last conversation I ever had with you again......
''Alright guys, we just need to get Donnie up to that power box so he can plug in and figure out what the Foot are doing with all of these vehicles." "Then we can plan out what are next move will be against them." Leo said but still had the look as if he were still contemplating a few things trying to decide what they may or may not find.
"As long as I get to take out a few of those num skulls, I don't care what we have to do lets just make this part quick so we can get to the fun part." That earned me a glare from Leo.
"Can we not do this all together.. There is a very comfy chair waiting for me at home with a remote controller and a new video game April picked up for me that has been calling my name for hours now" Mikey said with a grin.
Leo and I ignored Mikey's non-stop commenting about his new game that he oh-so-badly wanted to play and that the foot could wait for another time.
"Hang in there Mikey we will be back before you know it." Donnie said with a loving smile and reached for Mikey's hand. Mikey smiled and took Donnie's hand without question. I knew this still was not the end of Mikey's complaining, but it made him shush up for a few minutes.
Don took a long look around...
"Looks like there is no one keeping watch and from this position I cant see any video cameras, but we should still be cautious."
I said nothing but gave a small head nod. All I cared about was getting the chance to bash some of the foot ninjas heads. I didn't care when or where it happened, but there was nothing that was going to stop me from hitting them at some point!
We made our way to the top of the building with nothing interfering with our path. This was almost too easy. I made an effort to keep Donnie and Mikey between Leo and I so I didn't have to be any where near him. Which was really easy considering Donnie and Mikey were still attached to each other. Seeing the two of them together made me think about how much I wanted to be with Leo and when we reached the top he gave me a look that almost felt like a don't worry you will most likely get to take out a few Foot ninja's tonight I had definitely seen that look from him before and it made my heart jump a little bit. As soon as he looked away I beat myself up for giving into that small amount of pleasure. I'm supposed to be pissed off at him not wanting to just tell him how I truly feel.
"Donnie how long is this going to take you I want to get back to the layer so I can start playing that new video game." Mikey said nearly laughing this time because he was doing it on purpose now.
That comment from Mikey snapped me out of my thoughts and made my anger start to flare up again. "Ok Mikey if you mention that stupid video game one more time I am going to come smack you so hard you wont want to play that game when we do get back." I was really starting to get pissed off because Mikey would not shut up!
"There is nothing that would ever not make me want to play that game." he said with a small smirk.
"oh ya you want to bet" I said and started to make a move towards him I wasn't going to really smack him I just wanted him to think I was going to but before I could do anything Leo grabbed me by my arm.
"Raph we don't need to draw any unwanted attention to us right now so keep your voice down!" now I was really pissed and could feel rage becoming uncontrollable.
"Whatever Leo the Foot really has to have some super hero hearing to hear us right now and if they some how have figured out how to do that it would really fricken amaze me and would be really helpful if you informed us about it." I was really wanting a fight and Leo was just continuing to get under my skin and make my blood boil!
"They wont need it Raph if they happen to be near by and can hear you clear as day it wont be like they just ignore it thinking to themselves oh it's just the turtles no big deal. We are ninja's Raph, so we need to keep a low profile and stick to silence and the shadows!"
Donnie ripped his eyes away from the small screen he had been looking at to look at the two of us. Only to see us in each others faces. Leo's face completely un-readable and me with my hands clenched into fist and radiating with anger.
" Are the two of you really going to start another argument right here and now? I swear this is all the two of you do anymore it's not even a brotherly type of argument any more. The two of you sound like a new couple that are still working little things out and you guys are not even a couple nor are you in that state of mind. Mikey and I have been together for almost a year and we never argue with each other like the two of you do!" He glanced a Mikey and gave him a small smile like he always did when he talked about them.
Leo and I both froze wide eyed and just looking at Donnie like we couldn't believe what he had just said. Leo took a step away from me and would not make eye contact with me at all. Donnie was right about Leo not being in that state of mind, but was not even in the same ball park that I was in. I had always wanted a relationship with Leonardo like Donnie and Mikey have with each other, but I knew Leo wouldn't ever want that and I could never bring myself to tell him how I felt or try to ask if we could at least try. It would also show Leo a weak side of me and could take advantage of that quickly.
"Well this is a wonderful site! Two turtles arguing, one trying to make sense of the argument and the last turtle just standing by observing the whole situation."
Before I even had time to fully process that Karai was there Leo had unsheathed his katana's and stepped in front of me so that she could not attack me while my back was turned. I just stood there looking at him for a few seconds trying to figure out why the hell he did that.
"Haha protecting your lover Leo?"
"Were not even together Karai I don't know why I have to tell you that every time we confront each other. I honestly thought you were smart enough to remember that at some point."
That stopped her from laughing and she was just silent as more and more foot ninja followed behind her. Donnie and Mikey were beside me now weapons out and ready to go. I had also pulled out my sais at some point without realizing I had done so. I was fueled and itching to take out as many of these little annoying black clothed want-a-be ninjas as possible. They're like fucking spiders no matter how many of them you get rid of there is always another one to replace it and if any one truly knows me, they know I absoultely hate bugs!
I wanted them to just make some type of move that made it so they started the fight. A lesson our father had taught us and would mention multiple time until we fully understood why, "never fight unless someone else starts" and we will honor that till the day we die. So when that first sign of attack came from Karai I was so pleased It was like I was a little kid in a candy store being told I could have whatever I wanted or like Mikey getting that new video game Haha......
I took one ninja on after the other. My mind, heart, and whole entire body was racing with the small amount of joy and relief of getting to take my anger out on someone. Even though the four of us were greatly out numbered we still had the upper hand some how. I could see Leo out of the corner of my eye and when he got a break from the Foot he went straight for Karai. I could tell from a distance that he was super pissed off and when that happens you know something is really wrong because he never loses his cool.
That annoying thought and feeling pushed back into my head that something was going to go very wrong but before I could truly take the time to put more thought into it a foot ninja took the place of it and it slipped from my mind.
Leo's swords collided against Karia's as he made an attempt to catch her off guard.
"Why did you have to start this tonight Karai, you couldn't have just approached us yourself."
" I didn't want to miss all of the fun in watching you and you lover boy flirt with each other."
" We are not lovers! and we never will be! Raph gets so pissed with me I'm a hundred percent sure he hates me!"
"That's not the way I see it Leo, you are missing all of the signs of how much he truly wants you Leo."
"Whatever, no matter what you try to say Karai you're not going to get into my head with any of this and you know what I think I know why you didn't come and just give us a little shake down tonight. It's because you're not strong enough to do so."
" Haha you make me laugh Leo and guess what if I wasn't strong enough to confront you how come i can take the reins of the fight by one simple move like this!!!"
With one swift move Karai stabbed Leo right in the upper part of his chest, right where the edge of his shell was, the spot that wouldn't hit any vital organs but the spot that could kill him very easily if he doesn't have the right medical treatment immediately.
"LEO!!" I yelled without caring who heard me, I ran straight for Karai. Grabbing her and throwing her as far as I could hoping she would fall off of the edge of the building. Not caring to see where she went I dropped my sais and fell to my knees right by Leo, I pulled just so that his shoulders and head were laying on my legs. All that was running through my mind is Leo's hurt and hurt bad. I can't lose him.......
"Donnie get over here now!! Hang on Leo y-you're going to be o-ok you here me. You h-have to h-hang on please...." I was doing everything I could to keep myself together but I was failing and I was failing fast. A single tear ran down my face.
"R-Raph I'll b-be o-ok I p-p-promise" Leo's speech becoming very difficult and becoming more of a work out instead of coming easily like it should.
Another tear rolled down Raph's cheek before Donatello was right there analyzing Leo's wound. Michelangelo not far behind Don.
"We need to get Leo off of this roof and back to my lab fast!" Donnie started to get up when he looked at the pain written all over Raph's face. Knowing Raph had not heard a word he had just said grabbed him by the shoulder and shook him..
"Raph we need to go now if Leo is going to make it through this!!!"
By this time Leo's eye lids had fluttered shut and Raph founded the sudden need to move picked Leo up and started to move following Donnie and Mikey was right beside him. They made it back to the layer in record timing and as soon as they walked through the door Master Splinter was right there asking what had happened. Surprisingly Mikey stepped up to explain everything including the fight before hand with Leo and Raph. As soon a Raph set Leo down Donnie shoved him out of the lab and locked the door. Raph just stood there trying to piece together everything that had just happened. One moment Leo and Raph were fighting the next thing that happened Leo had stepped in front of him to protect him. But why? Then for it all to end in Leo being on death row. Knocking on the front door but not truly knowing why he was there. Raph wasn't able to move lost in thought and confusion, only to move again when Splinter touched Raph's shoulder.
"Leo will be ok. He is strong and is in the best of hands."
I turned and ran right into my room locking the door behind. I crawled into my hammock of a bed and cried myself to sleep. Knowing there was a chance that I may never even get to see Leo's smiling face again.......
To Be Continued.........
