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IGAKattack
IGAKattack's Scraps (62)

He Knows When You Are Sleeping...

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... ghost rider in the sky...

Just an awesome idea I had today on the drive home from work. Sleep deprivation really DOES still provide the bestest ideas ever... 8D

Though, I still prefer the totally over-the-top cyborg-mecha-Rudolph idea I had on the ride home too... not sure if he was some kind of mount... only that he transformed from a fur-covered reindeer into this insane robot thing... O_o

Thank Santa I don't work tomorrow. XD

PLEASE EXCUSE THE FOLLOWING INANE RANT:

Oh right! THAT was the thought that inspired me! Seriously... of all the fictional gods and other fairy-tale creatures... Santa is the most likely to be the REAL benevolent god of all mankind. Seriously.

Oh yeah, that's why I though of that. There was some fish thingy on the back of another car, and I remembered something I thought earlier about the main religious symbol for Christianity being the crucifixtion of the son of god... and why people didn't worship the SON of that god instead!... because of that whole fish thing that fed more people than it could have. Because magic! Then resurrecting the dead, water into wine... et cetera... seriously. He was fucking wizard, guys! And they blew him up! He was a wizard all along and they blew him up! Those DAMN DIRTY APES!!!!!

WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE WORSHIP THE GOD WHO HAD HIS OWN SON KILLED!?
Honestly, for trying to help make the world a better place to live, too... wow. The Christian/catholic/Anglican/latter day saintsses or whatever the fuck/isn't protestant basically the same too?/oh, and which one was it that Henry VIII started? 's god is kind of a jerk. No, a complete asshole of a deadbeat dad, what with all the pain and suffering he's allowed to continue all these centuries... unless...

... unless the greatest trick the devil ever pulled wasn't convincing the world that he didn't exist, but that he was the one true god for each and every very different culture on the face of the earth... so that he wins either way... good thing I'm a man of science! So to speak. What with the potential for synthetic meat-substitutes that mean we won't have to farm and slaughter livestock anymore; medical science that basically cures death itself, "That is not eternal which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die" as HP Lovecraft once wrote, I wonder at the origin of the phrase... ; and time travel! Ah, a wonderful example of all the things we could do with time travel...! You know, aside from pulling the ol's switcheroo with a synthetic meat clone at that crucial moment where Mr. Lovecraft himself... ah... I believe "expired" is an acceptably delicate term for it...? Such wonders we could see... An end to crime, too, or at least an end, at last, to all those who ever got away with those crimes... no escape.

Subsequent historical events have shown us what happens to alleged magic-users since this alleged son of god by the name of Jesus. Witch burnings and so on. It's almost as if ye olden timey Christians took the whole death of Jesus completely the wrong way; that all with magical powers were to be killed.

What. The. Fuck.

Ok, so maybe Jesus failed the same test given to Abraham, who was told to sacrifice his own son, who resisted, leading to Abraham eventually relenting and binding his unwilling son and almost go through with it until an angel appeared and said:

"Woah, dude! Wait! Stop! It was just a test!"

So Abraham failed, and Isaac passed. Have I not explained my logic here before? Isaac proved himself worthy of the intelligence, gained by humankind when Adam and Eve ate that forbidden fruit, when he questioned the fact that their god SUDDENLY out of NOWHERE demanded a human sacrifice... Abraham failed for not questioning things. So did Jesus, who didn't question the voice of his own alleged father very strongly and had way more magical powers than Abe. Allegedly, anyway. In the story, he seems to have caved pretty quickly to those honeyed words about duty and whatever. Fuck. Jesus raised some guy from the dead! (if the story is to be believed) He could have totally just waved his fucking hands and made it so nobody ever died, right? Isn't this basically the whole problem with all religion though? Whatever god is real could totally just snap his fingers and BAM! The dirt is gone! Also the pain, suffering and eventual death.

But I digress!

Woot! Santa as a ghost rider! Isn't it awesome?! It would be, if I had the confidence to see it through to completeion... or the patience... or wasn't so tired from work. BLARGH.

Frankly though, I'm not remotely religious: it seems suspicious that a religion that tells children Santa is real, then goes on to confess that IT WAS ALL LIES!!!111!!! LIES I TELL YOU!!! BLARGH!

Fuck 'em. I prefer my gods fat and jolly, with magical flying reindeer. If you're going to believe in anything, why not Santa? Seriously. That magical fat man in a red suit is WAY better than ANY trumped up god out there.

I know though. Saint Nick. Well, all those trumped up gods started with SOME grain of truth, even if it WAS just an ordinary human being, after all... though what does that say for everything people have done in the names of those gods? What indeed...


Still like MY idea the best; about medically-immortal time-travelling scientists from the future pulling the "ol' switcheroo" (oldest trick in the book, haha!) on every human, animal and even plant that ever lived, with synthetic meat-substitute clones indistinguishable from the real thing (except, obviously, for that elusive element of life, or "the soul", which is a DEAD giveaway)... ah, imagine all the people... and animals and plants, wow! gee wiz! there'd be enough to populate EVERY PLANET IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE, wouldn't there. My rough estimate of it being 1000 years from now is probably WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too optimistic... ah well. One day, perhaps... one day...

TL;DR

Wow. Not sure where that came from.

In summary: Don't blame big faceless corporations, though frankly there seem to be a lot of faceless gods too, which is just suspicious guys. It was the CHRISTIANS (or whichever sect/splinter group came first) who were the FIRST to COMMERCIALISE Christmas! They will also be the first to say Santa Claus isn't real. But they don't even realise why; to sell their religion to children, with candy and presents and EMPTY PROMISESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

Also because Santa isn't even part of their religion. He's like the Easter Bunny! Stolen. From a time BEFORE copyright laws! I CALL COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!! Somebody get me a FUCKING lawyer! The kinds of things people can get away with suing over these days, I ought to be well within my rights. In fact, all the children of the world should be! Unite! Stop the oppression! Freedom!

ok... I think I've got that out of my system now... though, it has been IN my system for quite a long time... I guess expect another rant about this in another 6 months or something? Sure, why not. Let's make a holiday out of it! Woo! Rant day! My time-travelling scientists make everything pointless!! (Well, almost everything. Pretty sure art, music, film and literature aren't pointless. You know... CREATING. Unless that's the eighth deadly sin now, because by creating something we're totally guilty of pretending to be gods or some shit?) Let's all dance around naked while screaming about everything and nothing all at once at the top of our lungs! After all, that IS religion... isn't it?

Woohoo~...!

~ Ok NOW I'm done. ~

Um... Sorry about that whole... thing.

I will understand if people unwatch me for anything above that may have offended...actually, no. I won't understand at all, because this is not the first time I've mentioned stuff like this. Pretty sure you guys are watching me for my ART anyway, such as it is, rather than my theological opinions.

I think I might be serious about that "Holy Trinity" of scientific "Holy Grails", if you will. Even IF time travel turns out to be a scientific impossibility even 1000 years from now... the medical science leading up to and including immortality, and the synthetic-meat that we probably won't even need to consume by then can do a lot more good, than all this bickering about whose god has a BIGGER DICK has ever done, or could ever do.

I'll shut up now and let you enjoy other things; you know, better than this sketch of ghost rider Santa.

Keywords
male 638,816, ghost 4,365, time 1,625, science 1,405, medical 798, religion 434, clones 249, swearing 188, time travel 165, rant 129, immortality 98, time-travel 6, meat-substitutes 1
Details
Type: Sketch
Published: 3 years, 10 months ago
Rating: General

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Razrien
3 years, 10 months ago
I don't even know.  I'm just here for the porn.
IGAKattack
3 years, 10 months ago
lol XD

Good idea... maybe I should post some of that instead? I probably have loads that I haven't posted yet. =P

... heheh... loads... X3
MrSOCKS
3 years, 10 months ago
Given the titanic Wall-0-Text above, for a second I thought this was a Wolfblade journal.
Myself, I'm into Christmas for the decorations and the music and because it's in the winter with all my lovely cold weather and (at times) snow. CHRISTMAS LIGHTS, BITCHES!
And an adviso: do NOT try to logically or clinically examine Christianity. That way lies but madness.
IGAKattack
3 years, 10 months ago
lol, I'm gonna blame it on the fact that it's summer here at xmas time, and the transition from cold supermarket deli to the baking outside world keeps doing something detrimental to my brain.
MrSOCKS
3 years, 10 months ago
While I do not smile at your atmospheric suffering, I do smile at the novelty of a heavily seasonal trans-equatorial holiday.
EmmetEarwax
3 years, 9 months ago
Be sure to read the Bartelby Fletch cycle by AlexReynard, and also Zephon T'Sol's tales of such as well. Reverent atheism awaits.

Toi me, Santa is a necrotic skull-face with death, maiming, leukemia, etc., for children everywhere.
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