Meal 30
"Drag?" whimpered Glenn in disbelief before turning angrily at Yure. "What did you do that for? Aren't you Drag's friend Yure?"
"I have no idea who you are referring to," he stated. "But you are next. I'll give you a three second head start."
"What good does that do me?" argued Glenn. "You will just shoot me before I even get anywhere."
"I still need practice hitting a moving target," he replied. "And now you only have two seconds left."
"Crud," cried Glenn turning to run, but he tripped into the process fell to the ground. "Who puts rocks at the most inconvenient places?"
"One second," Yure continued taking aim and slowly squeezing the trigger. "Another target eliminated."
"That's enough fooling around," scolded Drag, grabbing Yure's sniper rifle and holding it away from Glenn. "That was very naughty that you were trying to decapitate me."
"How are you still alive?" asked Yure in a demanding tone. "How is your head not over there and over there, and there as well?"
"I can easily regenerate from a simple physical attack," Drag explained. "But why are you so surprised? Have you really forgotten everything about us?"
"If I did then it was probably not that important to begin with," he replied. "All that matters to me is eliminating all of Obamon's enemies and that includes you." Pulling his gun free of Drag's grip he shoved it straight at his gut and fired a hole through his stomach forcing Drag to the ground. "This time stay down."
"It will take a lot more than that to kill me," replied Drag as he got up and the hole in his torso closed up with watery magic. "Keep trying if you want. Maybe you're a bit cranky because you didn't get a nap."
"I nap when I want to," growled Yure reaching into his leather jacket and pulling out a pair of semi-automatic pistols and fired rounds wilding into Drag, but for all the good they did they pierced his body through the front and exited through the back, but just as before Drag ended up no more injured than he was before.
"I don't think I approve of you using firearms," Drag lectured Yure. "You know you could end up hurting someone with those things plus I don't even think you are legally old enough to even have those."
"Those rules are not so clear on those who can't age," he commented as he returned his guns to his jacket and reached into his diaper and began to pull out a weapon of ridiculous proportions that defied the limited space of his padding.
"How the heck do you have a bazooka in there?" cried Glenn.
"Do not underestimate super poofy technology," he answered as he managed to heft the bazooka onto his shoulder and shove the barrel into Drag's maw. Squeezing the trigger, he fired the bomb straight into Drag's stomach then quickly scurried away.
"Drag?" said Glenn still full of disbelief.
"You may want to run," suggested Drag.
"Eep!" cried Glenn taking Drag's advice and fleeing just before Drag exploded and created a small downpour of his watery remains that puddle the ground around them. "Did Drag die for real this time?"
"Of course he did!" laughed Yure running back to get a closer look. "Try coming back from that now!" He jumped into the puddles splashing the water about and grinning with satisfaction. "Looks like you can't pull yourself together when there's nothing left to pull together."
"Sure I can," replied Drag though his voice was higher and more numerous than before. Yure looked down and saw dozens of tiny Drags forming from the water and quickly scurrying together to reform back into one. "So you feeling better now or do you want to try something else?"
Yure growled angrily and tossed his bazooka aside before striking at Drag with his paws only to get bounced off his belly. "You are like a gelatin mold," he snapped. "There is no knocking you down."
"Silly kitty," chuckled Drag petting his head. "A little guy like you could never knock me down." Red in the face, Yure ran around Drag and grabbed his tail. With it in hand, he wrapped it around Drag over and over till he tied him up and forced Drag off balance. "Uh, never mind."
"This isn't over you water balloon," shouted Yure as he ran off. "I will have my revenge!"
"Alrighty," Drag called back. "We can meet for snack time."
"Uh, Drag, I don't think he was playing," Glenn pointed out.
"I had a feeling," admitted Drag. "I don't know what happened to him, but I hope we can find out before he gets into any more trouble than he has. We better get going so could you please untie me."
"In a moment," Glenn said poking at Drag in various places. "Heheh. Yure was right. You are like a big water balloon."
"Are we almost where we are supposed to be going my king?" asked Thomas talking to the being in his head.
"We just started and it is not going to be easy to reach, but I promise the rewards will be wonderful. Donuts galore!"
"And that's just what I am so excited for," Thomas declared, but stopped when he stepped onto a warm liquid. He looked down to get a closer look. "What's this? Blood? Someone around here is hurt?"
"Not a concern of ours. Now keep going."
"But that's Wolfcub," cried Thomas. "She looks badly injured. I cannot just ignore her." He slowly approached her. She was unconscious and had one hand tightly clutching her chest where the appeared to be coming from. "Did someone shoot her, but nobody else appeared to be around, but by all the damage around it looks like there was definitely a fight."
"And sadly it seems she fell in battle. Now get moving or no donuts for you."
"Nuts to your donuts!" shouted Thomas defiantly. "We are not leaving till we help her and not a moment earlier. Now I got all this power so I better be able to heal her."
"So stubborn. Fine, just place a hand on her wound so we can get a feel for what has happened and heal her."
"Like this?" asked Thomas placing his hand on her chest careful not to cause her further pain.
"That will do now let's see." Thomas's hand glowed bright as his new power went to work on Wolfcub. "Hmm, this will not be easy to do. Just as we figured, she was shot and it was nearly fatal. An inch closer to her heart and it would have already been too late, but we're still tasked with a difficult job ahead if you still plan to help. The bullet is still moving closer to her heart so we need to use magic to pull it back out of her body. In her present state it will be more dangerous since she already lost so much blood so while doing that we have to slowly heal her while taking the bullet out and with her thick layers of fat it is like navigating through a maze with your eyes closed."
"I don't care if it is like piloting a submarine through a desert," argued Thomas. "We are doing this!"
"This can't be happening," growled Nocturne as Tagmer and Killajor continued to pummel him with their combined strength. "They teamed up to prevent me from using my power to put them to sleep, but now I cannot even recover from one attack before the other strikes. Now this has become a hopeless battle, a real nightmare."
"Is this all you got," yawned Tagmer. "From the way you were whipping Kill around in his dream I thought you would actually be a challenge, something to give my new body a chance to flex its muscles, but you bored me before I could even get started."
"Hardly my fault when I am up against two opponents as strong as you," Nocturne argued. "You wouldn't stand a chance against me on your own."
"Maybe if you got the drop on us with that hypno power of yours," commented Kill. "But that is the kind of thing that only works once and that attempt has already came and gone."
"And I suppose you two are going to be chummy now because you have a common enemy to fight," he asked.
"Friends with him?" laughed Killajor. "I'll take care of Tag after you are dead."
"Hmm, I don't know," suggested Nocturne. "I doubt Tagmer would be beaten by you. Not after his transformation."
"He could have a billion different transformations and I'd still beat his face into his butt," retorted Kill.
"Don't lie," shouted Tagmer. "I could send you flying with just my eye muscles so don't bother bluffing when you obviously are outmatched and always have been."
"What was that, you lousy lizard!" snapped Kill butting heads with Tagmer in both senses.
"Haha!" cackled Nocturne. "Right where I want you!" Using his powers, he sent his hypnotic powers at them. "Now I'll trap you both in a nightmare, one that will have you battling one another to the death for all eternity!"
Tagmer and Killajor then turned to Nocturne staring him down furiously and making his knees tremble. "You know for a guy who puts people to sleep you talk too loud," commented Tagmer.
"And for your information, we don't need you manipulating us to make us beat one another within an inch of our lives," added Kill. "Our fights are none of your business!"
"Then what am I supposed to do?" he asked opening his big mouth once again.
"Keep out of it!" they shouted in unison and struck him simultaneously with a deadly punch that sent him flying out of sight.
"Well, another one is beaten by your friendly, neighborhood fatass, Tagmer," he bragged.
"Hey, I was the one who hit him first," argued Kill. "That kill counts for me!"
"Who says you hit first?" snarled Tagmer getting even redder in the face than usual. "And even if you did it was my punch that shattered every bone in his body. If I didn't punch him he'd still be alive."
"The only thing those arms are good for is stuffing more lard burgers down your gullet," stated Kill.
"Who is the one who fell for that guys sleep power?" pointed out Tagmer.
"And you are the one who I exploded into a million pieces," countered Kill.
"That was a dream!" cried Tagmer.
"Then I'll do it for real this time!" shouted Kill.
Glaring fiercely at one another, they let out a vicious snarled then flexed their muscles. Slowly turning around they took three paces and paused and waited. Then abruptly they turned and charged one another yelling at the top of their lungs fists pulled back ready to strike. Once in range they swung a mighty punch at one another, their fists colliding and sounding like thunder from a distance.
Eyes slowly opening, Zane found himself on the ground along. Looking around, he saw the frozen body of Dillon and the deteriorating state of the world around him. "How long have I been unconscious?" he asked himself. A powerful quickly alerted Zane to look towards the sky and there he witnessed Logan and Bruce still battling it out. "That's right. Bruce is working for Obamon now and Logan is fighting against him to protect me because I'm too weak to do anything to help."
"So when did you learn to fly?" asked Logan as their fat, powerful, bodies smashed together with great speed. The resulting force sent powerful gusts of wind in every direction, even able to send Zane tumbling back a bit.
"Ever since five minutes ago when I went back in time and made it so fat is lighter than air," answered Bruce. "When did you, my logic deprived nemesis?"
"Since yo mama!" derped Logan attacking his vile villain enemy with a mega fat belly bounce blast. The attack bounced Bruce away like a spring and then for no logical reason he exploded. "Who needs to mess with logic when you can just be logic intolerant. I'm the most illogical being in the universe! The Anti-Spock!"
"You are quite strong and lacking of sound reasoning," admitted Bruce. "But even all that doesn't mean you can defeat me."
"It also doesn't mean I won't not lose at losing to your win thing," retorted Logan.
"I wouldn't be so sure," Bruce began to say, but then scratched his head confused. "Wait, what did you say? Does that even mean anything?"
"I have no idea," replied Logan. "I don't even remember what I said."
"Go back to bashing each other's skulls in?" asked Bruce.
"Eh, why not," answered Logan.
The two mighty fighters flew at each other once again, colliding with obese proportions, every inch of their fat bodies jiggling like mad and making it impossible for them to move for a moment. The instant they could, they immediately they wrapped their arms and legs around the other at the same exact time.
"Ha! I got you in the inescapable pretzel lock of doom!" laughed Bruce. "It is impossible to break out of because you can't move anything below your many chins."
"Heheh," laughed Logan. "That's just hilarious."
"What is?" snarled Bruce. "You are at my mercy now and you choose to laugh about it? Just what do you find so hilarious about this?"
"I used the exact same lock on you," snickered Logan. "And the only way out is for the other to let you go, but now neither of us can move so we're stuck like this."
"I don't believe this," grumbled Bruce. "How could I, Wolf Bane be made a fool of by some dumb mutt?"
"Wait till I tell you the funniest part," giggles Logan.
"And what is that?" asked Bruce.
"We can't fly like this," Logan pointed out just before they began to plummet to the ground.
"I hate you so intensely it hurts," Bruce stated just before they hit the ground like a meteor, leaving a huge hole in the ground.
"Logan!" cried Zane rushing over as they were falling and stumbling as their crash shook the ground. "Please be alright. That fall shouldn't have killed you." He reached the crater and quickly began tossing rocks aside to find his ally. He quickly checked one spot then another, only focusing on a single area once he unearthed yellow fur and a red spandex outfit. "There you are. I'll get you out right away."
"I'm fine," wheezed Logan. "A bit tired, but nothing a tasty treat can't cure. But it is still too dangerous here. You shouldn't have come."
"I might not be as strong as I was, but I can't just do nothing," argued Zane.
"You should listen to your friend," Bruce replied, his voice muffled by the ground. "After all, you should understand how one mistake can be the difference between life and death in battle." Bursting out of the ground, Bruce snatched up Zane by his head and clamped his fingers down on his skull. "For instance, now if you want to live the Golden Retrieve will have no choice but to surrender."
"Curse you!" growled Logan. "Despite being evil, do you have no honor? Has Obamon stripped all the decency from your being?"
"The only thing Obamon fills me with is calories," he chuckled. "Now stand still while I beat the snot out of you and even try and resist and I will crush Zane's head like a tomato! You hear that! So much as attack me and his life is forfeit."
"Fine," groaned Logan getting to his feet. "I won't try to fight back anymore."
"Sounds fantastic," cackled Bruce and he began punching Logan in the face with all his might grinning more and more as he made contact. Logan remained standing, taking each agonizing hit. Blood dripped from his nose and his face became swollen. "That's a good dog. Take your lumps! Take them all!"
"Logan! That's enough!" cried Zane. "Don't worry about me. Just save yourself."
"He won't budge an inch," stated Bruce. "He cares too much about his friends to allow them to be hurt."
"What about you?" groaned Zane as he felt Bruce's grip on his head tighten. "You are one of your friends too! Don't you remember all the times we fought on the same side and all the good times we had. This evil villain isn't you. Obamon is just controlling you! Please try and remember!"
"Ungh!" groaned Bruce as he clutched his head. "These memories in my head, where did they come from? I see you and Logan and all the others alongside me. Are these my memories of the past?"
"Yes!" cried Zane. "The power of friendship will break the evil hold that Obamon has on you!"
"Argh!" he screamed, dropping Zane and falling to his knees. "The good is cleansing that demon's wickedness from my heart. I can see everything so clearly now."
"You do," replied Zane eyes alight.
"Yeah," he answered. "I can see you're a gullible fool to think such a dumb cliche would do jack." Standing back up with a smirk he clenched his fist and delivered a powerful uppercut to Logan's jaw, sending the injured pooch flying backwards a few feet before crashing back to the ground. "So what are you going to do? Try and avenge your dead friend? You couldn't do anything to help him and you were just as useless before when you did have power. Face it, Zane. You are a loser through and through. It isn't even worth the effort to kill you. Everyone is going to be killed soon enough anyway and you can't change that."
"Shut up!" sobbed Zane clenching his fists and grinding his teeth. "You are still our friend despite all the horrible things you are saying. It isn't your fault, but if defeating you is the only thing I can do to save you then I'll muster up the power." Holding out his hand, an aura sphere started to form. Bruce looked at it with surprise only for Zane to launch the sphere right into his face at close range.
"You really shouldn't try to be a hero," Bruce pointed out as he revealed his face wasn't even scratched. "You have no power and all you managed to do is change my mind about letting you go. It will be more fun to kill you."
"You won't kill anyone," moaned Logan weakly.
"Oh, seems I didn't break your neck after all," Bruce said in surprise. "A simple fix, but do tell me how you plan to stop me? You said you wouldn't attack me anymore and even if that promise is moot now you don't have the strength to even stand."
"That might be true, but I never said anything about attacks I did earlier," coughed Dillon.
"What are you talking about?" asked Bruce. "There is nothing you can do but die!" He shouted these words, but no sooner had he when a powerful pain pierced through his body sending him falling to the ground in defeat. Managing to lift up his arm, Logan caught the object he had thrown at the very start of their fight, the bonerang. "That stupid thing. But it is a stupid boomerang that can't even come back. I thought it was lost after you through it."
"I never did explain the true power of this weapon," explained Logan. "It isn't merely a weapon; it is an ultimate weapon that transcends even the level of McGuffin!"
"You lie!" snapped Bruce. "Such weapons can't possibly be real!"
"They are," derped Logan. "This weapon has the power to bypass its own existence and then write itself back into existence wherever it is most convenient. That's why it is a weapon that can never miss its mark."
"Such OP things really exist?" asked Bruce. "Where? If you have one then you must at least know of others."
"There are indeed others, but I only know of one other by name only," answered Logan. "It might even be stronger than the bonerang."
"What is its name?" questioned Bruce.
"The Squarez," said Logan before he fainted and Bruce did so soon after, a dark aura flowing out of his body and then dissipating in the air.
"Logan did it," panted Zane. "He beat Bruce and freed him from Obamon, but now both of them are unconscious. I haven't seen Vincent in a while either, but if he isn't here then he's got to be in trouble. I better figure a way to keep them safe before any more enemies show up."
A loud cracking suddenly caught Zane's attention and he turned back towards Dillon's frozen body. The ice that had encased him was cracking and his body was moving. Even more alarming, he was growing larger! All at once, he burst out as he grew nearly twice as large as he was before. Large ice chunks flew in every direction, some came close to the area Zane, Logan, and Bruce were at, but fate proved kind enough to spare them from behind crushed.
Shaking any remaining ice from his massively fat and muscular body he bellowed, "Fee fi fo fat! Where are you pipsqueaks hiding at?"
"We never did land the decisive blow on him, did we," admitted Zane. "And of all the rotten luck he's heading straight for us. If he doesn't find us first he'll crush us underfoot. No way can I move them in my current state. The only option left to me is face him alone, as I am now." Taking a deep breath he charged forward. "I really miss my full power."
"Looks like your time is up," snickered Snow as the magic freezing him and Jokull in place finally started to wear off. "The second it does you are done for and I don't see any of your friends coming to your rescue. It doesn't look like any of them made it."
"This can't be," cried Jokull. "Is this the end?"
"Yes it is," laughed Snow as he finally became free and charged forward with his hands radiating deadly magic, but before he was able to reach Jokull the two of them dropped to the ground. "What is this? Another delaying spell?"
"No," replied Jokull. "We were still for an hour. Looks like our legs fell asleep along with everything else."
"Just a momentary delay then," stated Snow as he began to get back on his feet. "I will smite you with one attack and then I will go to finish off all the others and nobody can stop me!" Holding his hand up high it glowed bright with a destructive magical force. It grew more and more intense as he built up power. He licked his lips savoring the moment while Jokull remained on the ground defeated.
"Everyone, I'm sorry," cried Jokull as he watched Snow drop his paw down on him. Then a large gusher of water shot out and hit Snow square in the fact. The sudden surprise forced him off balance for a moment and Jokull managed to take advantage of that tiny chance and roll out of the way just before Snow hand reached the ground and the magic went to work annihilating the area, making it disintegrate and leave behind only a hole. Jokull breathed heavily realizing he had survived and looked at the vast hole Snow had created that was in the same shape as his hand. "Someone did make it."
"Who dares to get in my way again?" growled Snow as he wiped the water off his face.
"I did!" declared Drag standing tall. "I won't let some giant monster hurt my friends. Not while I can do something."
"It is you!" stuttered Snow in shock.
"Drag?" asked Jokull. "Is that you?"
"I'm here too," commented Glenn as he stepped out from behind a rock. "I was just being cautious in case Drag screwed up and got himself killed again."
"Those didn't count as deaths," argued Drag.
"You sure had me worried for a moment," snapped Glenn.
"Uh, is now a good time to be arguing?" asked Jokull getting to his feet.
"Don't worry," bragged Drag. "I can take anything he can throw at me. Just leave this big beast to me."
"D- D- Doggeh?" Snow said sending a cold chill down Drag's spine.
"Wait a minute," whimpered Drag taking a closer look at his opponent. "Don't tell me you are Snow?!?"
"Doggeh!" cheered Snow full of joy as he shrank back down to his normal size and ran over to Drag. "Been so long since I could hug my doggeh!"
"Gah!" screamed Drag running away as Snow chased after him.
"You didn't recognize Snow?" asked Jokull. "Well, I guess he looks different without his fur on."
"Come back doggeh!" called Snow. "I want to hug your booty!"
"My booty is not a toy!" cried Drag as he ran up towards the mouth of the volcano.
"But it looks so plump and huggable," stated Snow. "I want to rub it!"
"Never!" shouted Drag as he jumped into the volcano.
"Doggeh come back," begged Snow jumping in after him.
"Shouldn't you be helping him?" Jokull asked Glenn.
"I think Drag can take care of himself," Glenn replied. "And you are the one who needs help. You look like you've had it rough."
"Yeah," he answered. "I almost didn't make it but at least now I can take my time and regain my strength."
"You'd think that," a new enemy laughed. "But since Snow failed to defeat you I get my shot. And double lucky, I get to fight against a moogle too."
"Oh, come on!" complained Jokull falling back to the ground. "It hasn't even been five minutes. Should I even tempt fate and ask what else could go wrong?"
"Uh, your tail," Glenn pointed out.
"Huh?" asked Jokull. "What about it?" He looked at it and noticed about a foot of it was missing, cut clean off. "Guess I didn't get completely out of the way after all. Tail freaking tastic!"
