Chapter 6:
Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word
Everything in the camp was bathed in the dancing orange light from the fire. Only the soft sound of Groot snoring and the crackling of fire were in the air. A warm scent of roasted beast still lingered around them. Rocket rested against the large tree trunk rubbing his overfull belly. The beast had been surprisingly delicious, despite that it had no seasoning. He rolled his head back looking up into the late night sky, amazed at how dark it was without a moon. At least the stars were bright and beautiful. The forest around them was calm and peaceful. It allowed him the chance to slip back into his mind, mull over what had happened at sunset. Everything seemed to swirl in a confusing whirlpool of emotions.
Agent 19, Silas, and Officer Biggs. They had all been Alicia from the start. At first when she was revealed to him, he thought that she was playing a trick on him. When she reminded him of some of the things they'd talk about years ago, in private, he knew. Then he was struck with confusion, how had she survived all this time? Again Alicia was kind enough to divulge everything. Rocket was beside himself when he'd learned that she did in fact die. But by some miracle, science or otherwise. She was brought back...not brought back, reborn.
Then she told him of the Silver Surfer coming to her. Helping her establish the Deadlights Society. Rocket was the one who figured out that Artemis was still alive and the leader of the Deadlights Society. He had joked that it wasn't that hard to figure it out. Alicia also told him about Aisha and her two sons Anders, and Alastair were all part of the Deadlights as well. Rocket had a good laugh when he found out that Agents 4 and 5 were Aisha's sons. He's grown with them, they use to be his friends. Although now he felt bad about besting them back at the tavern. Alicia assured him, that they thought it had been all in good fun.
It was strange to him how after having such hard feelings towards her, they had just vanished once he realized who she was. They had picked up right where they'd left off all those years ago. He'd even made a joke about her being much brighter now, than when she was young. Her response was simply in agreement. That she was brighter, both in mind and body. The term 'no hard feelings' never really meant all that much to Rocket, until this moment. Perhaps he was just happy that she wasn't dead, or maybe happy that he could be with her once again. Neither of them ever said sorry to one another about everything that happened earlier. Rocket wasn't sure if pride was to blame for this one, or if “Sorry” wasn't that important of a word between he and Alicia. She'd grown to become a woman, one of his his type of women, in truth.
“Where are you Rocky?” Alicia moved up from the shadows to plop down between he and Groot.
“Oh I was looking at the sky, counting all the stars. You know, the same daydreaming crap I use to do when I was a kid.” Rocket turned his attention to her, enjoying the soft glow from her fur.
“When you were a kid? You're still a kid Rocky.” She teased him with a gentle elbow to his arm.
“Easy, or I'll get my daddy to beat up your daddy.” Rocket motioned to the sleeping Groot.
Alicia giggled and leaned against the large tree trunk. “More like sugar daddy! By the way you have my vote for cutest couple.”
“Oh no, a low blow. He's stunned ladies and gentlemen, will she go for the finisher.” Rocket gestured wildly with his hand, making it seem like she'd beaten him in a fight.
“I wouldn't mind...” A coy look came to her eyes, her fingers finding his thigh.
Rocket froze for a moment. Had she said what he just thought she'd said? Was she making a move on him? His eyes staring deeply into hers. All he found in her large green eyes was comfort. Was she sincerely offering? His body wanted to act upon it, but a soft voice in the back of his mind whispered that it was too soon. Rocket's eyes slipped away from her gaze to look at her hand lightly squeezing this thigh.
“I'm sorry if I overstepped my bounds. It's just, seeing you smile and hearing you laugh. It causes all these emotions inside of me.” When she took her hand away, he reached up and cradled it in his fingers. “...It's been a long time since I've been able to be myself around you. I don't know how to compose myself.”
“You don't have to be sorry about that. I'm a male, so I respond best to these sort of things. I just feel bad that, I have to decline you.” His thumb moved along the back of her hand. “I just need some time to process all of this.”
Alicia just smiled and leaned close to whisper in his ear. “You always did need more time to process things, that was one of the things I loved about you. I honestly felt that the longer it took for you to accept something, only meant that you cared more about it, enough to work harder to accept it.”
Rocket nodded and smirked. “Hmm, I just thought I was immature. I guess I never really thought about it like that before.”
“So take your time Rocket Raccoon. I've waited this long for you, I can wait a forever if I have to.” There was an authoritative sound to her voice, but it melted away into a giggle.
“Thank you for understanding.” Rocket said as he leaned against her.
Alicia didn't say anything, she just sat there looking at her gloved hands. They folded together, the leather creaking quietly in the dark. At that point Rocket's fingers slid down her warm arm to envelope both of her hands. She turned her head slightly to see that he was looking up at her. Her own green reflection shimmering in his moist eyes.
Rocket spoke, it sounded as if he were on the verge of tears. “I'm sorry for leaving you all those years ago. I'm sorry for not contacting you...I'm sorry...”
Alicia leaned close and pecked his lips softly. “You and I Rocket, don't have to apologize for what we did in the past. We've all done crummy thing, selfish things, some more terrible than others. But those things are exactly where they belong, in the past.” His lips played along her warm blushing cheek. “Life it too precious to live in the then. Take it from someone whose died. Now is all that matters.”
Rocket sniffled and smirked clumsily. “Well if you were working your way into my shorts, you're on the right track.”
Alicia cracked up laughing, her tone so loud that Groot snorted and grumbled. “You're an ass you know that?”
“Oh I've been told, many a times.” Rocket looked down at the grass and pulled a few blades free from the ground.
Alicia laid her head upon his shoulder and sighed softly. “I can tell there is still something on your mind.”
“There are lots of things on my mind honestly. Like what happened to my armor, I figured the nanomites would have repaired it all. My helmet is gone as well. I lost a blaster. I also lost...” His voice quieted as he ran his fingers along his bare thigh.
Alicia already knew what he was really missing. Fortunately the pipe pouch hadn't gone that far after the crash. It was easy to find with her one good visor lens. The nanomite technology signaled that his armor had been critically damaged. She'd followed the signal to where the pouch lay in the grass. When she'd finished hunting, she had every intention of giving it back to him. But something more important came up at the time.
“Well, I'll fill you in on all of that technical crap, but I'm going to need a smoke first.” Alicia giggled, producing the pipe pouch from her satchel.
Rocket was too stunned for words, he took the pouch from her and looked at it. “...you rescued this? How? Where?”
Alicia shook her head. “It's not important,. What is important, is that you kept it safe all these years. I guess you do kinda like me after all.”
Rocket chuckled and held up his thumb and index finger an inch apart. “Maybe a little.”
“Better than none.” Alicia watched as Rocket pulled the pipe from the pouch, packing it with some of the tobacco.
A warm smile washed over her face. Seeing him use the pipe again, made her heart swell. When they were younger, he'd been so clumsy about it. For a moment she could almost see him fumbling and dumping tobacco into his lap. Then watched him frustratedly packing the pipe again for a second try. Now he was a pro at it. Times do change, so do people. Rocket offered her the next drag off of the pipe, which she accepted gratefully. She'd not smoked since before going away to the military. The taste was awful, and the burning in her lungs was unexpected.
“Oh Gods...that tobacco...is terrible.” Alicia coughed hard and forced a gag.
Rocket cackled as he took the pipe back. “Aisha thought so too, I told her I bought it in bulk so I'm stuck with it for now.”
“Hell no, once...we get back to the...Mothership, you're throwing that...crap away.” Alicia continued her coughing fit, trying to recover.
Rocket chuckled and rubbed her back in a circular motion helping her work out the cough. “I would appreciate it, this stuff really sucks. But it'll do in a pinch.”
Rocket continued to enjoy his pipe, while he and Alicia talked. Amazed to find out that his armor couldn't repair itself, if pieces of the armor were severed from the rest of it. Nanomites were only as strong as the numbers they carry. If his pant leg was severed then they essentially became two separate pieces of armor. Rocket's armor, on the other hand had been burned up. Groot had peeled it off of him before any real damage had been caused. As for what happened to his helmet, it had broken in half and was lost amidst the ruins of the ship, along with his other blaster.
Alicia also assured him that she was working on an escape route from the moon. When she was out hunting, she'd picked up a huge energy surge a few miles from their camp. That would be the best place to search. If there was an energy source, she could use it to power her helmet and make contact with a rescue vessel. The plan was pretty solid and they agreed that at first light they should start heading in that direction.
Alicia watched at Rocket started packing another bowl full of tobacco. “Just one more and we should try to get some sleep.” Rocket said balancing the pouch against his belly.
Something in the back of the pouch caught her attention. Yellowed from age and close quarters with the tobacco, was the note that she'd written to him so long ago. Alicia took the pouch from him and reached in to retrieved the old envelope. Rocket was too focused on Sparking the pipe to notice that she was fishing around for something. Once the embers were burning and the smoke was flowing, he looked out of the corner of his eye and snatched around.
“Don't look at that.” Rocket said, a slow waft of smoke rolled out passed his lips.
Alicia set the pouch next to her on the grass and turned the envelope over. “You never read my note, that explains a lot.”
“I was afraid to...” Rocket shifted away, the shadow of the tree casting over his face, as if he were trying to hide his shame.
Alicia opened the envelope and read the note aloud for him.
Rocky,
I'm sorry that I had to leave you this way. I thought that leaving while you're asleep was the most merciful thing I could do. Please know that I love you and I never meant to hurt you. These last two weeks have been the greatest time of my life. It's really pushed me into thinking about you and I.
I want to say sorry, but sorry may just be the hardest word to say, because it always requires an explanation. I don't have one. At first I thought it was my own selfish wants that pushed me to join the military. Then I tried to rationalize it by saying, it was for the weak and downtrodden. It wasn't until last night that I realized, I was doing it for us. I want to give you a good life. One that we can be proud of.
I guess what I'm trying to say is. Will you marry me? I know it's suppose to be the guy that asks the girl, but I know you're too mad to ask me. I want you to be my husband. Fly the stars with me and in a few years when we've saved up enough money. Settle down together and make a family.
I know this is a huge decision, but please just think about it. If you say yes, you'll make me the happiest girl in the galaxy. I've put the address of where I'll be training at the bottom of this page. Please write me your answer. Even if it's no I just want to hear from you and know that you don't hate me.
Forgive me for hurting you.
Love always,
Alicia
Alicia folded the paper and pushed it back into the envelope, before tucking it back into the pouch. When she looked at Rocket she noticed he'd moved close to her once again. Again his dark brown eyes were misty. All this time, all this wasted energy could have been bypassed if he'd just opened the letter. It was too late to lament his choice now. Beside his younger self would have been insulted by the letter. Thinking that she was patronizing him. The person in the past was a different person than he was now.
Alicia giggled softly and shook her head. “I was so sappy back then, wasn't I?”
Rocket remained quiet for a long time, he tapped his pipe on his knee. Then he blew into the mouth piece cleaning out the last embers of the tobacco. He tucked the pipe back into his pouch and sealed it. Alicia stared at him, his long silence was starting to cause her to worry. His face was impossible to read. Rocket turned his head to look at her and leaned close.
Rocket's lips were so close to her's, they were almost touching. “...yes...” was all he whispered before kissing her lips deeply.
At first Alicia hadn't understood what he meant, until there lips locked. It felt as if her heart was going to burst in her chest. A tremble was running through her so hard that Rocket must have noticed because he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him.
They lay together for a long time, just kissing and holding each other. Neither one could remember who fell asleep first, they were both physically and emotionally exhausted. What could be said for the both of them, was as long as they were together they were going to sleep well tonight.
