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SenGrisane
SenGrisane's Gallery (1233)

Death of an Immortal

Ratfolk Sorcerer
doai.doc
Keywords male 1201093, female 1091384, magic 25488, no sex 1265, short story 1126, dying 765, mystic 438, emotion 402, immortal 393
Death of an Immortal
“You came.“
Were the only greeting words as I exited the dense underwood and stepped into the clearing.
“How could I not? Eternal life! I mean, wow. How could anyone say no to this?”
“Many change their mind in the last moment.”
Our eyes met and her gaze made me feel weak and frail, as if I was on my last breath. And for her it probably was like that. The 50 years I possibly had to look forward to, give or take a few, were mere moments for her.
“What now?”
“We both must drink from this well at the same time.”
“That’s it?”
She only nodded slightly in response.
“That sounds…. disappointing. I expected some flashy lights and stuff.”
“Powerful magic often is... plain.”
A few moments of silence later, she got up and took a few steps till she reached the clear water. Never had I seen something more elegant. It was hard to avert my eyes, even though it was almost painful to watch her. Besides her perfection, my completely normal imperfections stood out like a sore thumb.
“Come.”
I came closer.
“Drink and do not stop drinking.”
I drank. The water tasted fresh and cold, but not unusual. I pondered how she expected me to keep drinking as my stomach would quickly be filled. But after maybe a minute it was still not full. I kept downing liquid for minutes or possibly hours. In front of my mind’s eye, my belly bloated up to the brink of bursting. But whenever I expected my limit to be reached I simply continued on.
In the end I got snapped out of it by a loud noise. I looked to the side to find her on the ground!
“Are you okay?”
“I… I think so.”
“What happened?”
“My… my legs. They couldn’t carry my weight anymore.”
Our eyes met again. All the weight her gaze carried was gone. Her body, no longer the epitome of perfection. But her eyes! They were glowing with joy. A smile was on her lips. I had never seen her smile before.
“My legs, they are broken; My heart, racing; Each breath I draw fills my lungs with searing fire. I am dying.”
“What can I do?!”
“Remember me.”
.
.
“I will.”
 
 
 
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First in pool
Invasion of Earth (as seen by the invading aliens)
This general story has been spooking around in my head for years.
Initially it was long and elaborate and would go into detail about both persons, how they met and why the did what the did. But in the end I cut it down more and more until I only needed 1 page to tell what I wanted to tell. This one moment.

If you can, please read the word document.

Keywords
male 1,201,093, female 1,091,384, magic 25,488, no sex 1,265, short story 1,126, dying 765, mystic 438, emotion 402, immortal 393
Details
Type: Writing - Document
Published: 10 years, 9 months ago
Rating: General

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11 comments

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strangetales
10 years, 9 months ago
Very neat stuff, I am greatly intrigued.
SenGrisane
10 years, 9 months ago
Thank you :3

Maybe I'll write a longer version one day.
Frynge
10 years, 9 months ago
that was kind of interesting.  a small fragment of what could be a larger universe...
SenGrisane
10 years, 9 months ago
Could be ^^
CeilYurei
10 years, 9 months ago
That was sad.
SenGrisane
10 years, 9 months ago
But she was happy ^^
CeilYurei
10 years, 9 months ago
True.
PrysmTKitsune
10 years, 8 months ago
mortal beings are not ment to endure forever, its a subject touched on in many bits of literature, when given immortality after a time a mortal soul will crave release...mortals are creatures of change, of learning, of doing...but given all the time in creation eventually [it may take a very long while] one runs out of things to do...all that remains is what lies beyond...examples of this narrative in recent fiction are in the game 'jade cocoon 2' where his eternal life, and the death of his loved ones around him drove the master of the temple mad to the point he tried to end everything just to end himself, and another such thing in Mana Khemia, the main character was created, originally, simply to end his creators then eternal life.
CeilYurei
10 years, 8 months ago
True.
EmmetEarwax
10 years, 1 month ago
In my own fan-fics, before I burned out*, wizards & witches, whatever their rank, can prolong their lives without limit,tho the means haven't been stated, but ... there comes a day when they decide to MOVE ON, to "walk the winding path". Ordog after centuries, tapping into sorceries not meant for the universe even, left a legacy to reveal itself in 500 years -and then left, leaving only emptiness in its place. It's like death, but ... there is no unpleasantness for an undertaker to deal with.

Ambrose Bierce sought this oblivion, and where his body came to rest, only the cicada sung his funeral hymn...

Ghosts, too, also seek eventual rest. (most hauntings cease after c.400 years, tho York's coin repository still has Roman ghosts marching in its cellar...)

* I forget what I wished to say here. My memory seems to be seeking a final rest ...
PrysmTKitsune
10 years, 1 month ago
the idea of immortality and its ramifications on the mind over time is a complicated one.
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