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An Alternate Universe I Can Get Behind
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kitsuneyoukai
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Dragon You Over - Royal - Page 1

The Whole Kit And Kazoodle - page 01

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Dragon You Over - CMC - Page 1
Last in pool
Dialogue / Script / Panel layout by :
twilightstormshi
twilightstormshi
or twilightstormshi
---
https://inkbunny.net/journalview.php?id=36797
go to Kitchan to see about donating to the alternate endings if it's needed!
http://www.kitchan.org/

---
took awhile! alot of damn people on this page XD also while drafting this page i just couldnt for the life of me think of how i wanted to pose/angle people so it was a struggle... but anywho! its done, more coming soon =T.
also, i hope celestia's word bubble color isnt to confusing, theres far to many white ones, and pink never looked right for some reason, so went with sun orange.

we still need 50$ according to the donating thingy on kitchan.org to fully fund this ending btw

Keywords
male 654,382, female 535,737, dragon 82,973, pony 69,994, mlp 47,357, my little pony 42,023, unicorn 18,342, my little pony friendship is magic 17,500, pegasus 13,077, mlp:fim 9,463, earth pony 7,609, alicorn 6,514, mlpfim 6,137, twilight sparkle 5,853, fluttershy 5,175, unicorn pony 4,985, rainbow dash 4,696, pegasus pony 4,481, mlp fim 4,354, rarity 4,305, my little pony: friendship is magic 4,165, pinkie pie 4,103, spike 4,078, applejack 4,065, princess celestia 2,100, guard 756, royal guard 198
Details
Type: Picture/Pinup
Published: 5 years, 6 months ago
Rating: General

MD5 Hash for Page 1... Show Find Identical Posts [?]
Stats
15,019 views
204 favorites
57 comments

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Vigilante02
5 years, 6 months ago
Very nicely done, Kitsune. Celestia needs Spike eh *wink wink* and the large grin on the last panel, and then Spike's statement being cut off on where they are going in the end. Also, Spike will be getting cramps someplace else XD, I like where this is going. I loled at the second panel. Thank you for making my day.
hamilton03
5 years, 6 months ago
i wonder when the next one will be posted
kitsuneyoukai
5 years, 6 months ago
page 2 of this comic? its up already, if you cant see it, its either something is blacklisted by you or adult filter =T
Kuto
5 years, 6 months ago
this is gonna be interesting
SpaceShipEarth
5 years, 6 months ago
YAY a whole new chapter
vampireruler
5 years, 6 months ago
heh I can see Luna doing what th eguard said....heh along with a lot of windows shattering
NeksusCat
5 years, 6 months ago
So as i got it, Luna is in heat and need something hotter than a mere mare's shaft to be filled with~? X//3
Also, as much as i don't care about MLP series, i'm always glad to find another page by you, Kitsu and Stormshi, aired!
It's quite weird, but i like how you two come along to make a new great series! ^w^
twilightstormshi
5 years, 6 months ago
^-^ thank you very much. it's always great to hear from someone who doesn't like the original series but does like our comics. sometimes, it even seems like, the more someone likes the original, the less they like our comics, lol.

this is the last comic kit and i are doing with mlp for a little while, by the way. : ) on to other series after this one.
NeksusCat
5 years, 6 months ago
Well, sometimes you need to stop doing the same things and try something other, don't you~? ;3
You're welcome! Wish to see you and Kitsu, participate in some other, awesome work, together! ^_~
ruink
5 years, 6 months ago
someone on here wrote this... in story format
twilightstormshi
5 years, 6 months ago
i'd be surprised since this is is my original plot... but link me? :P
ruink
5 years, 6 months ago
here we go... I knew this setup looked familiar.

beirirangu
beirirangu
did a setup with his/her MLP story The Tails of Spike's Harem.  compare what you wrote for this segment, to the prologue and maybe Celistia's and Luna's chapters
twilightstormshi
5 years, 6 months ago
i skimmed the prologue, celestia's chapter, and luna's chapter... and the only similarity i see is that spike gets a letter from celestia summoning him to the castle after which sex ensues. and, unlike on this page, celestia and luna greet him -together- when he shows up at the castle. oO i mean, sure, it's the same "set up" in the very first panel... but it's not even comparable after that excepting the fact that they're still in the castle. anyway, the same "set up" happened in the show too--in the sleepover ep. spike is at the castle on official business for celestia that whole time. (btw, that's what spike is talking about when he asks, "this isn't going to be like last time, is it?") :P
ruink
5 years, 6 months ago
okay, thanks for filling me in.  but at least I showed you what I meant and not left you hanging =3
twilightstormshi
5 years, 6 months ago
= )
Sonikkudrawings
5 years, 5 months ago
Umm, I had a read of ALL of both DYO and TTOSH, and I noticed that they have too much things in common, maybe the context plot is different, and both stories has different kind of feels into...
Uff, but the main idea is very the same!
I was going to notice you this before, but ruink beaten me by hand!  ;)
twilightstormshi
5 years, 5 months ago
do they really have anything in common except the fact that spike fucks all the mares in both?
Sonikkudrawings
5 years, 5 months ago
Umm... err... they... they really do...

I had listed the reasons before (´cuz I talked about that with a brony friend, he knows about MLP and clop stuff alot, I´m a N00b about those things compared to him), but RIGHT NOW I can´t remember what exactly both fictions have in common for me, but it´s more the "feelings" and Spike´s shipping with Twilight, err... I had readen so much fanfiction that I cannot remember all the things involucrated into that, sorry!
It depends if the reader takes it´s time for emottionally analyzing things, taking his/her own pace with the story, beliefs too, it all depends of the point of wiew...
(and if you watched MLP:FIM, and readen every chapter in order too)
TheDarkCrystalfox
5 years, 6 months ago
uhm, Is it just me or does Celestia look kinda weird in the last panel?
kitsuneyoukai
5 years, 6 months ago
it was really hard to get the angle suggested to me by the script, and i was in a really struggling mood to draw at the time =x
GothGuru
5 years, 6 months ago
" kitsuneyoukai wrote:
it was really hard to get the angle suggested to me by the script, and i was in a really struggling mood to draw at the time =x
Maybe an alicorn can shorten their wings to keep them comfortable?
VioletEchoes
5 years, 6 months ago
man this comic keeps going and going xD
kitsuneyoukai
5 years, 6 months ago
6 more pages, then its done. then me and twilight do a banjo and kazooie comic, and if season 4 doesnt destroy my enthusiasm for MLP, maybe we'll do a comic again on it.
KonaNosune
5 years, 6 months ago
Some Of Season 3 I Personally Like Like The Wonderbolts Academy.
Dachende
5 years, 6 months ago
woo! new page! and if you two do continue when S.4 comes out, i will gladly donate if i have any to spare :) but for now, i need to find another job.
thps48
5 years, 6 months ago
If FiM hasn't stopped being awesome since the last airing, I doubt it'll suddenly stop. Somepony told me, the guys at DHX were appointed to certain positions by Faust to continue her vision most effeciently. Some things were changed only because Hasbro would get involved for toy marketing. I once made the case the Friendship Express was as much a plug as Princess Twilight, but I suppose fans have more insane personal connections with animate objects who don't exist. :\
twilightstormshi
5 years, 6 months ago
marketing always fucks things up. marketing is retarded.

it's like, LET'S SHOW PEOPLE STUFF THEY DON'T KNOW THEY LIKE YET (and make them like it by making them mistakenly think the person standing next to them likes it)

~.~
kitsuneyoukai
5 years, 6 months ago
when the writers broke their promise about fluttershy turning into a dragon for season 3, it destroyed a huge chunk of my faith in them. an im gonna come out and say it, the episode where fluttershy gets discord to become her friend and its just "wait, i dont have friends D: oh fuck!" at the last second, was the stupidest/most rushed thing i've ever seen on tv... ever.
that being said, i hope they dont fuck up season 4, but many signs are pointing to a great fall coming.
SuihtilCod
5 years, 6 months ago
Agreed.  Very, very, very agreed.  Discord had no reason to just pull a 180° like that.  Even if he and Fluttershy were genuinely getting along and she genuinely cared for him, he's not the kind of character to just presto-chango like that.  This episode should have been a two-parter, but it wasn't, so the ending It felt forced or shoehorned in... like all the bad writing of all the little "life lesson" cartoons before it.
SuihtilCod
5 years, 6 months ago
The pacing of this page is pretty awful.  There's no set-up to speak of or anything.  It's just "bye, Spike; denied, Spike; come here, Spike".  It's pretty confusing.
twilightstormshi
5 years, 6 months ago
absolutely true. i have 7 pages, 5.5 of which have to be sex or seduction. no excuse, but i don't know how to do better.
sgtnolisten
5 years, 6 months ago
"Isn't this the way too-"

You have grabbed my curiosity fully.

Oh, and a belated "Hey I'm back!" I take it the original story was a success?
twilightstormshi
5 years, 6 months ago
depends on whom you ask :P it was what it was.
MrDrake
5 years, 6 months ago
It begins
LatinoOso1965
5 years, 6 months ago
I hope S 4 will not fuck up im a Brony and has a open mind on Rule 34 art and stories with action, adventure, gore and clops galore. I don't hate the work if it written out correctly and the storyline make sense and moves along seamlessly, then you have this fan for life. I seen the writing on the wall that MLP on S 4 will be rushed and will fail as a season and cancellation because the marketing, the writers and to many chiefs and to little Indians running things. i follow your art and story on this comic from the beginning and i enjoyed it. I can't wait for the next panel of what is Spike is doing next? So many directions and and one answer awesome job you two.  
KonaNosune
5 years, 6 months ago
GAH I NEED FIDY DOLAHS!
KittyGuardian
5 years, 6 months ago
You said that you had troubles choosing the color of celestia's bubbles.
But why would you even try pink and/or white. Seeing her in full glory in this page, to me the main feature that distinguish her from other mares in this comic, would be her, mostly light blue, mane and tail. The light blue in her character seems to be like 30-40% of her body aside fro the white which doesn't even seem as prelevant compared to her mane and tail.
So ya, did you try light blue bubbles with the color of her mane? :)
You could have even added the little stars that she has in the said mane. The last part would definitely make her bubbles, stand out. xD True, harder to draw them everywhere, but believe in you and I know you can make it. <3
GothGuru
5 years, 6 months ago
You used the color on the edge of her sun symbol. I approve.
Slyfoxx
5 years, 6 months ago
As a big Luna fan I'm kinda ticked at the guards.
Slyfoxx
5 years, 6 months ago
Omg you cut the strip off before he could finish.
Oh we'll still looks promising kit and twi
ArcCahlon
5 years, 6 months ago
at first i was thinking luna in heat, and a 1000 years no sex? some pony's (dragon) is going to get ridden raw. but seeing as the guards are making jokes about her royal voice I'm assuming she's gotten some relief since her return. wonder if he can handle them tho they are a bit bigger then normal ponies.
treerat
5 years, 6 months ago
Well, if she truly was "stuck in the Moon" then she not only had no sexual action with any other pony but was even unable to  paw/hoof off.  Yeah, I can see a real mountain range of sexual "steam" needing to be blown off!!
Vinylshadow
5 years, 6 months ago
*sets chair down* dis gon b gud
TzauZerRyfaz
5 years, 6 months ago
wow...Some one's about to get the 'royal treatment'
Sonikkudrawings
5 years, 6 months ago
YEAHHHH
I don´t know why, but i was hoping for a LONG time that Luna makes appearence!!!!
I am SOO exited about this endinnng!! YAY!
*LOL second panel*
pervyfox
5 years, 6 months ago
Awesome! So happy to see more! I think this will be good. Though, for some reason Celestia looks off to me. I want to say she seems too "pudgy"? I don't know it might just be that I'm not used to seeing her drawn in this style. It does seem a tad scrunched, but it looks more like the position was the difficult part. I'm talking about the last penal btw. The rest of it looks great.
LilLoki
5 years, 6 months ago
I love Spike's laid back "This is going to suck" response to everything now. He's so used to this bullshit he doesn't even freak out anymore.
treerat
5 years, 6 months ago
"Say, isn't this the way to the Royal bed chamber?"
treerat
5 years, 6 months ago
I haven't seen anything of the MLP FiM series except for a  couple of short excerpts on YouTube.  From what bit I've seen and what I've heard from other people it is the "everything is nice except for the occasional bothersome 'rough spot' that most everyone works together to get past" type show with few, if any, real inter-personal intriques going on.  This strip is more, for lack of a term, "real life"; life conflicts, primal (sexual) urges, some envy, and more than a little..."shady" goings on.
twilightstormshi
5 years, 6 months ago
yep, mlp is like that. and what you said about real conflicts in dyo as a whole, that's definitely what i was going for.

we had one commenter say that parts of the comic come off as a soap opera but that at least the characters damn well have deeper feelings and express them--unlike virtually every other piece of fan art having to do with mlp. that struck me, and i agree with that. the world and characters lauren faust built were magnificent; then the show didn't do anything but use them. (which is fine; it's a children's show.) but i just found it sad that no one was developing her ideas in any literary way.

i took their stereotypical personalities and toned everyone down. the stereotypical behavior became just quirks in the behavior of normal people. i thought normal people would have meaningful reactions to situations with real consequences... whereas having situations with real consequences isn't possible in the show because the characters' reactions wouldn't, couldn't live up to the serious nature of things. i took an event from the show (spike getting greedy) and showed what would happen if everything didn't just work itself out by the power of cartoons. yet i kept the show's message: no matter how tough things get, true friends will bring you through. the magic of friendship.

i'm not really satisfied with the way any of the stories turned out because i'm not a practiced comic writer yet. but i do feel like i at least succeeded in giving the characters motivation for having sex so that it wasn't a bland, cannon-fodder porn comic.
pureevil
5 years, 6 months ago
Princess Molestia detected!
XGMunk
5 years, 6 months ago
Finally someone says it! XD
GilPix
5 years, 6 months ago
Spike: ...to the dungeon of unspeakable guilty pleasures?
treerat
5 years, 6 months ago
There's such a thing(s) as guilty pleasure(s)?????
kitsuneyoukai
5 years, 6 months ago
"acceptable!!! 100 years sex dungeon! no trials!" :P
rautamiekka
4 years, 8 months ago
Added §raven§. That's the pony who begs Celly before Spike comes in. I've tried to identify the rest, resultlessly.
scipio
4 years, 1 month ago
?!? is that an Assassin in the second to last panel?
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