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An Alternate Universe I Can Get Behind
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kitsuneyoukai
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Dragon You Over - Royal - Page 1

The Whole Kit And Kazoodle - page 01

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Dragon You Over - CMC - Page 1
Last in pool
Dialogue / Script / Panel layout by :
twilightstormshi
twilightstormshi
or twilightstormshi
---
https://inkbunny.net/journalview.php?id=36797
go to Kitchan to see about donating to the alternate endings if it's needed!
http://www.kitchan.org/

---
took awhile! alot of damn people on this page XD also while drafting this page i just couldnt for the life of me think of how i wanted to pose/angle people so it was a struggle... but anywho! its done, more coming soon =T.
also, i hope celestia's word bubble color isnt to confusing, theres far to many white ones, and pink never looked right for some reason, so went with sun orange.

we still need 50$ according to the donating thingy on kitchan.org to fully fund this ending btw

Keywords
male 615,887, female 497,030, dragon 77,310, pony 66,075, mlp 44,689, my little pony 39,813, unicorn 17,458, my little pony friendship is magic 16,645, pegasus 12,373, mlp:fim 8,899, earth pony 7,232, alicorn 6,175, mlpfim 5,991, twilight sparkle 5,537, fluttershy 4,884, unicorn pony 4,699, rainbow dash 4,473, mlp fim 4,269, pegasus pony 4,227, my little pony: friendship is magic 4,065, pinkie pie 3,913, rarity 3,887, applejack 3,847, spike 3,769, princess celestia 1,976, guard 716, royal guard 179
Details
Type: Picture/Pinup
Published: 5 years, 1 month ago
Rating: General

MD5 Hash for Page 1... Show Find Identical Posts [?]
Stats
14,834 views
201 favorites
57 comments

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Vigilante02
5 years, 1 month ago
Very nicely done, Kitsune. Celestia needs Spike eh *wink wink* and the large grin on the last panel, and then Spike's statement being cut off on where they are going in the end. Also, Spike will be getting cramps someplace else XD, I like where this is going. I loled at the second panel. Thank you for making my day.
hamilton03
5 years ago
i wonder when the next one will be posted
kitsuneyoukai
5 years ago
page 2 of this comic? its up already, if you cant see it, its either something is blacklisted by you or adult filter =T
Kuto
5 years, 1 month ago
this is gonna be interesting
SpaceShipEarth
5 years, 1 month ago
YAY a whole new chapter
vampireruler
5 years, 1 month ago
heh I can see Luna doing what th eguard said....heh along with a lot of windows shattering
NeksusCat
5 years, 1 month ago
So as i got it, Luna is in heat and need something hotter than a mere mare's shaft to be filled with~? X//3
Also, as much as i don't care about MLP series, i'm always glad to find another page by you, Kitsu and Stormshi, aired!
It's quite weird, but i like how you two come along to make a new great series! ^w^
twilightstormshi
5 years, 1 month ago
^-^ thank you very much. it's always great to hear from someone who doesn't like the original series but does like our comics. sometimes, it even seems like, the more someone likes the original, the less they like our comics, lol.

this is the last comic kit and i are doing with mlp for a little while, by the way. : ) on to other series after this one.
NeksusCat
5 years, 1 month ago
Well, sometimes you need to stop doing the same things and try something other, don't you~? ;3
You're welcome! Wish to see you and Kitsu, participate in some other, awesome work, together! ^_~
ruink
5 years, 1 month ago
someone on here wrote this... in story format
twilightstormshi
5 years, 1 month ago
i'd be surprised since this is is my original plot... but link me? :P
ruink
5 years ago
here we go... I knew this setup looked familiar.

beirirangu
beirirangu
did a setup with his/her MLP story The Tails of Spike's Harem.  compare what you wrote for this segment, to the prologue and maybe Celistia's and Luna's chapters
twilightstormshi
5 years ago
i skimmed the prologue, celestia's chapter, and luna's chapter... and the only similarity i see is that spike gets a letter from celestia summoning him to the castle after which sex ensues. and, unlike on this page, celestia and luna greet him -together- when he shows up at the castle. oO i mean, sure, it's the same "set up" in the very first panel... but it's not even comparable after that excepting the fact that they're still in the castle. anyway, the same "set up" happened in the show too--in the sleepover ep. spike is at the castle on official business for celestia that whole time. (btw, that's what spike is talking about when he asks, "this isn't going to be like last time, is it?") :P
ruink
5 years ago
okay, thanks for filling me in.  but at least I showed you what I meant and not left you hanging =3
twilightstormshi
5 years ago
= )
Sonikkudrawings
5 years ago
Umm, I had a read of ALL of both DYO and TTOSH, and I noticed that they have too much things in common, maybe the context plot is different, and both stories has different kind of feels into...
Uff, but the main idea is very the same!
I was going to notice you this before, but ruink beaten me by hand!  ;)
twilightstormshi
5 years ago
do they really have anything in common except the fact that spike fucks all the mares in both?
Sonikkudrawings
5 years ago
Umm... err... they... they really do...

I had listed the reasons before (´cuz I talked about that with a brony friend, he knows about MLP and clop stuff alot, I´m a N00b about those things compared to him), but RIGHT NOW I can´t remember what exactly both fictions have in common for me, but it´s more the "feelings" and Spike´s shipping with Twilight, err... I had readen so much fanfiction that I cannot remember all the things involucrated into that, sorry!
It depends if the reader takes it´s time for emottionally analyzing things, taking his/her own pace with the story, beliefs too, it all depends of the point of wiew...
(and if you watched MLP:FIM, and readen every chapter in order too)
TheDarkCrystalfox
5 years, 1 month ago
uhm, Is it just me or does Celestia look kinda weird in the last panel?
kitsuneyoukai
5 years, 1 month ago
it was really hard to get the angle suggested to me by the script, and i was in a really struggling mood to draw at the time =x
GothGuru
5 years, 1 month ago
" kitsuneyoukai wrote:
it was really hard to get the angle suggested to me by the script, and i was in a really struggling mood to draw at the time =x
Maybe an alicorn can shorten their wings to keep them comfortable?
Gittons
5 years, 1 month ago
man this comic keeps going and going xD
kitsuneyoukai
5 years, 1 month ago
6 more pages, then its done. then me and twilight do a banjo and kazooie comic, and if season 4 doesnt destroy my enthusiasm for MLP, maybe we'll do a comic again on it.
matt954
5 years, 1 month ago
Some Of Season 3 I Personally Like Like The Wonderbolts Academy.
Dachende
5 years, 1 month ago
woo! new page! and if you two do continue when S.4 comes out, i will gladly donate if i have any to spare :) but for now, i need to find another job.
thps48
5 years, 1 month ago
If FiM hasn't stopped being awesome since the last airing, I doubt it'll suddenly stop. Somepony told me, the guys at DHX were appointed to certain positions by Faust to continue her vision most effeciently. Some things were changed only because Hasbro would get involved for toy marketing. I once made the case the Friendship Express was as much a plug as Princess Twilight, but I suppose fans have more insane personal connections with animate objects who don't exist. :\
twilightstormshi
5 years, 1 month ago
marketing always fucks things up. marketing is retarded.

it's like, LET'S SHOW PEOPLE STUFF THEY DON'T KNOW THEY LIKE YET (and make them like it by making them mistakenly think the person standing next to them likes it)

~.~
kitsuneyoukai
5 years, 1 month ago
when the writers broke their promise about fluttershy turning into a dragon for season 3, it destroyed a huge chunk of my faith in them. an im gonna come out and say it, the episode where fluttershy gets discord to become her friend and its just "wait, i dont have friends D: oh fuck!" at the last second, was the stupidest/most rushed thing i've ever seen on tv... ever.
that being said, i hope they dont fuck up season 4, but many signs are pointing to a great fall coming.
SuihtilCod
5 years, 1 month ago
Agreed.  Very, very, very agreed.  Discord had no reason to just pull a 180° like that.  Even if he and Fluttershy were genuinely getting along and she genuinely cared for him, he's not the kind of character to just presto-chango like that.  This episode should have been a two-parter, but it wasn't, so the ending It felt forced or shoehorned in... like all the bad writing of all the little "life lesson" cartoons before it.
SuihtilCod
5 years, 1 month ago
The pacing of this page is pretty awful.  There's no set-up to speak of or anything.  It's just "bye, Spike; denied, Spike; come here, Spike".  It's pretty confusing.
twilightstormshi
5 years, 1 month ago
absolutely true. i have 7 pages, 5.5 of which have to be sex or seduction. no excuse, but i don't know how to do better.
sgtnolisten
5 years, 1 month ago
"Isn't this the way too-"

You have grabbed my curiosity fully.

Oh, and a belated "Hey I'm back!" I take it the original story was a success?
twilightstormshi
5 years, 1 month ago
depends on whom you ask :P it was what it was.
MrDrake
5 years, 1 month ago
It begins
LatinoOso1965
5 years, 1 month ago
I hope S 4 will not fuck up im a Brony and has a open mind on Rule 34 art and stories with action, adventure, gore and clops galore. I don't hate the work if it written out correctly and the storyline make sense and moves along seamlessly, then you have this fan for life. I seen the writing on the wall that MLP on S 4 will be rushed and will fail as a season and cancellation because the marketing, the writers and to many chiefs and to little Indians running things. i follow your art and story on this comic from the beginning and i enjoyed it. I can't wait for the next panel of what is Spike is doing next? So many directions and and one answer awesome job you two.  
matt954
5 years, 1 month ago
GAH I NEED FIDY DOLAHS!
KittyGuardian
5 years, 1 month ago
You said that you had troubles choosing the color of celestia's bubbles.
But why would you even try pink and/or white. Seeing her in full glory in this page, to me the main feature that distinguish her from other mares in this comic, would be her, mostly light blue, mane and tail. The light blue in her character seems to be like 30-40% of her body aside fro the white which doesn't even seem as prelevant compared to her mane and tail.
So ya, did you try light blue bubbles with the color of her mane? :)
You could have even added the little stars that she has in the said mane. The last part would definitely make her bubbles, stand out. xD True, harder to draw them everywhere, but believe in you and I know you can make it. <3
GothGuru
5 years, 1 month ago
You used the color on the edge of her sun symbol. I approve.
Slyfoxx
5 years, 1 month ago
As a big Luna fan I'm kinda ticked at the guards.
Slyfoxx
5 years, 1 month ago
Omg you cut the strip off before he could finish.
Oh we'll still looks promising kit and twi
ArcCahlon
5 years, 1 month ago
at first i was thinking luna in heat, and a 1000 years no sex? some pony's (dragon) is going to get ridden raw. but seeing as the guards are making jokes about her royal voice I'm assuming she's gotten some relief since her return. wonder if he can handle them tho they are a bit bigger then normal ponies.
treerat
5 years, 1 month ago
Well, if she truly was "stuck in the Moon" then she not only had no sexual action with any other pony but was even unable to  paw/hoof off.  Yeah, I can see a real mountain range of sexual "steam" needing to be blown off!!
Vinylshadow
5 years, 1 month ago
*sets chair down* dis gon b gud
TzauZerRyfaz
5 years, 1 month ago
wow...Some one's about to get the 'royal treatment'
Sonikkudrawings
5 years, 1 month ago
YEAHHHH
I don´t know why, but i was hoping for a LONG time that Luna makes appearence!!!!
I am SOO exited about this endinnng!! YAY!
*LOL second panel*
pervyfox
5 years, 1 month ago
Awesome! So happy to see more! I think this will be good. Though, for some reason Celestia looks off to me. I want to say she seems too "pudgy"? I don't know it might just be that I'm not used to seeing her drawn in this style. It does seem a tad scrunched, but it looks more like the position was the difficult part. I'm talking about the last penal btw. The rest of it looks great.
LilLoki
5 years, 1 month ago
I love Spike's laid back "This is going to suck" response to everything now. He's so used to this bullshit he doesn't even freak out anymore.
treerat
5 years, 1 month ago
"Say, isn't this the way to the Royal bed chamber?"
treerat
5 years, 1 month ago
I haven't seen anything of the MLP FiM series except for a  couple of short excerpts on YouTube.  From what bit I've seen and what I've heard from other people it is the "everything is nice except for the occasional bothersome 'rough spot' that most everyone works together to get past" type show with few, if any, real inter-personal intriques going on.  This strip is more, for lack of a term, "real life"; life conflicts, primal (sexual) urges, some envy, and more than a little..."shady" goings on.
twilightstormshi
5 years, 1 month ago
yep, mlp is like that. and what you said about real conflicts in dyo as a whole, that's definitely what i was going for.

we had one commenter say that parts of the comic come off as a soap opera but that at least the characters damn well have deeper feelings and express them--unlike virtually every other piece of fan art having to do with mlp. that struck me, and i agree with that. the world and characters lauren faust built were magnificent; then the show didn't do anything but use them. (which is fine; it's a children's show.) but i just found it sad that no one was developing her ideas in any literary way.

i took their stereotypical personalities and toned everyone down. the stereotypical behavior became just quirks in the behavior of normal people. i thought normal people would have meaningful reactions to situations with real consequences... whereas having situations with real consequences isn't possible in the show because the characters' reactions wouldn't, couldn't live up to the serious nature of things. i took an event from the show (spike getting greedy) and showed what would happen if everything didn't just work itself out by the power of cartoons. yet i kept the show's message: no matter how tough things get, true friends will bring you through. the magic of friendship.

i'm not really satisfied with the way any of the stories turned out because i'm not a practiced comic writer yet. but i do feel like i at least succeeded in giving the characters motivation for having sex so that it wasn't a bland, cannon-fodder porn comic.
pureevil
5 years, 1 month ago
Princess Molestia detected!
XGMunk
5 years ago
Finally someone says it! XD
GilPix
5 years ago
Spike: ...to the dungeon of unspeakable guilty pleasures?
treerat
5 years ago
There's such a thing(s) as guilty pleasure(s)?????
kitsuneyoukai
5 years ago
"acceptable!!! 100 years sex dungeon! no trials!" :P
rautamiekka
4 years, 3 months ago
Added §raven§. That's the pony who begs Celly before Spike comes in. I've tried to identify the rest, resultlessly.
scipio
3 years, 8 months ago
?!? is that an Assassin in the second to last panel?
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