"A Tail of Two Vipers"
LOGLINE: Dr. Viper is finally arrested, and yet a creature very much resembling him is rampaging throughout Megakat City. How can there be two Dr. Vipers?
© 2020 Kooshmeister
Written by:
Bill Hiers
DISCLAIMER: SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron is a trademark of Hanna-Barbara. This author does not own the rights to the show, its episodes, or any of its characters, and this script is not meant for monetary use. I did it just for the heck of it. :)
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ACT I
EXT. THE DEAD FOREST - DAY
Push in on Dr. Viper's huge tree fortress towering above all the other twisted, dead trees in the center of the deadly swamp.
INT. SWAMP LAIR - LAB
As seen before, the interior of the tree's main hollow has been converted into a ramshackle laboratory. All is quiet until a hunched figure enters, emerging from the shadows of a passageway whose walls are lined with bulging, veiny eyes that follow the figure attentively, babbling to himself.
The silhouetted figure steps into the dim light and is revealed as none other than DR. VIPER. Oozing along behind him, red eyes aglow, is his trusty MUSHROOM MONSTER assistant.
VIPER
Those cursssed SWAT Katsss!
He slithers over to the centerpiece of the room, a large, crooked table supported by tree branch "hands" growing out of the earthen floor and gripping the edges, the top of which is littered with test tubes, beakers and flasks. There are also three potted plants: a cactus, a small palm and a sequoia sapling.
VIPER
They alwaysss thwart my plansss!
He picks up a flask of bubbling chemicals, smirking. Its tentacles twitching excitedly, the mushroom monster watches with interest.
VIPER
Sssoon, Megakat City will be mine! Yesss! My Megassswamp City! And thisss time, no one can ssstop me!
He pours the chemical into each of the pour pots and steps back, watching as the plants begin to twitch and then twist and grow. Using his prehensile tail, Viper grabs a jar with the handwritten label "Home Made," and pours the brown liquid inside into the pots as well. The three plants continue growing and twisting, with crunching noises. Mouths appear in them and they begin making hideous mewling sounds.
VIPER
Yessss! Sssoon those meddlesssome SWAT Kats will be taken care of, and Megakat City will fear the name of Dr. Viper... forever!
He cackles evilly, stepping back as the twisting and growing shadows of the mutating plants are cast over him. We pan over to a stoppered flask of a familiar-looking dark green liquid. Viper Mutagen.
EXT. CITY HALL - DAY
Establishing shot of Megakat City Hall. We hear the sound of someone snoring.
INT. CITY HALL - MANX'S OFFICE
MAYOR MANX is at his huge desk, half asleep. He awakens with a jump when his office door opens. CALLIE BRIGGS comes in, a stack of papers with her. These she dumps onto the Mayor's desk.
CALLIE
There are the forms you told me to go over.
MANX
Very good, Ms. Briggs.
Manx adjusts his pince-nez and looks them over. The phone rings and Callie answers it.
CALLIE
Hello?
VIPER
Hello, Ms. Brigggsss.
Callie's eyes widen.
CALLIE
Who is this?
She glances over at Manx, who is busying himself scrutinizing the paperwork and squinting, as though trying to understand what was written. At Callie's exclamation, he looks up, blinking.
VIPER
(over the phone)
I'm sssurprised you don't recognize me, my dear.
CALLIE
(low)
Viper!
Manx gulps.
MANX
D-Dr. Viper...?
Callie holds a hand out towards Manx indicating silence.
CALLIE
What do you want?
VIPER
I want the SWAT Katsss to meet me at the old tuna factory at noon today! Or elssse my latest creationsss will reduce this pitiful city to rubble! Ssstarting with City Hall!
There's a click and the line goes dead. Callie hangs up.
CALLIE
It's Dr. Viper, all right! And he's threatening to destroy Megakat City! He's at the old tuna factory!
Manx grabs the phone and hastily begins dialing.
MANX
Danger! Disaster! G-Godfrey! I m-must inform Commander Feral at once!
Callie slips from the office.
INT. CITY HALL - HALLWAY
In the hallway outside the Mayor's office, Callie takes out her communicator.
CALLIE
This is definitely a job for the SWAT Kats!
INT. SWAMP LAIR - DAY
Viper is using an old flip-style cell phone. With a grin, he flips it shut and sets it aside, turning to his faithful mushroom monster.
VIPER
Thossse foolsss will be pulverized by my Mega-Treesss!
The half kat, half mushroom creature growls with hideous glee. Both of them turn to the still rapidly growing trio of MEGA-TREES: the sequoia sapling has grown to adulthood and now sports four arms and a huge haping maw. It is fifteen feet tall and getting larger. Meanwhile, the cactus and palm tree are only slightly smaller at six feet and also still growing. They have three eyes epiece. They swell, bulge and undulate hideously.
VIPER
And now, my beautiful mutationsss, my Mega-Treesss, it'ssss time we got to work!
He beckons with a finger.
VIPER
Come! We musst go to the old tuna factory, if we're to keep our appointment with the SWAT Katsss!
Grabbing the flask of green liquid, he turns and walks down the stairs leading out of the hollow, the wriggling fungus creature at his heels. After a moment, the Mega-Trees follow, swelling in size with each step they take.
EXT. TUNA FACTORY - DAY
The TurboKat lands outside the factory. T-BONE and RAZOR. They stare for a moment at the creepy building. Even in daylight, it seems spooky. It sits by itself in a very bad part of town. Vines, both dead and living, grip the building like the tentacles of some sea monster. Most of the windows are boarded up. T-Bone stands with his hands on his hips, looking up at the huge building. Both he and Razor are wearing their Glovatrixes.
T-BONE
Creepy...
Razor extends his arm, checking his Glovatrix as he steps up beside his friend to appraise the structure.
RAZOR
Yeah. Just the sorta place that slimy snake would set up shop.
They walk towards the front entrance, T-Bone also giving his Glovatrix a once over.
T-BONE
I just wish we knew where his real hideout was. Then we could blow it to kingdom come and he wouldn't have anywhere else to slither back to. Somewhere in Megakat Swamp, I figure.
RAZOR
Well, after we catch him, maybe we can ask him.
They reach the front door. T-Bone makes a fist.
T-BONE
After we pound his face in!
As he reaches for the door, Razor lingers.
RAZOR
You know this is a trap, right...?
T-Bone grins.
T-BONE
(jovial)
Nobody ever said ol' snake-face would make things easy for us, did they?
(a little more serious)
Just stay on your toes.
They open the door and rush inside.
INT. TUNA FACTORY - FACTORY FLOOR
Apart from the skeleton of a conveyor belt - without the belt part - and a few scattered old crates, the factory interior is almost entirely empty. Gloomy light filters in through the mostly boarded up windows. Mustering their courage, the duo move cautiously across the wide open space.
T-BONE
Nothin' in here.
RAZOR
Viper's probably hiding.
From a second floor landing, a shadowy figure, Viper, watches them, eyes glowing. We can also see the glowing red eyes of his mushroom monster in the darkness behind him.
T-BONE
No, I mean, yeah, but... where's all the machinery...?
RAZOR
The company probably removed it when they closed up shop. You don't leave expensive stuff lying around for people to steal.
Viper continues watching them as his fungus creature slowly recedes away and through a doorway behind them. Viper lingers, gripping the railing, smirking down at the approaching vigilantes.
T-BONE
Who'd wanna steal bulky old factory equipment...?
RAZOR
You'd be surprised.
Finally, Viper turns and darts silently through the open door behind him. It reads "Offices" on the frosted glass window. The SWAT Kats now approach the stairs leading up.
T-BONE
So where is he?
RAZOR
Trap, remember? Viper's full of surprises.
T-BONE
Enough of this sneaking around crud!
(calling out)
Hey, Viper! Where are ya? Too scared to come out and face us man to mutant?
There's a thud from somewhere upstairs and then a shatter of glass. T-Bone points up at the second floor landing and the enclosed office area beyond.
T-BONE
It came from up there! In the old offices!
They race up the stairs.
INT. TUNA FACTORY - OFFICES
The SWAT Kats wind there way through a maze of cubicles and desk. Finally, they find a door marked "Manager." It's slightly open.
RAZOR
Well, now or never.
INT. TUNA FACTORY - MANAGER'S OFFICE
T-Bone kicks in the door. There's a big desk covered by plastic sheeting and a high-backed swivel chair sprung at the seams, currently turned away, although we can see Viper's tail sticking out the side and his hair over the top. The flask of green liquid we saw earlier is sitting on the desk. The SWAT Kats aim their Glovatrixes at him.
T-BONE
Okay, Viper, come quietly, or else--
A hideous growl issues forth from above them and before then can react, lumpy tentacles descend and encircle them, lifting them off their feet. It's Viper's mushroom monster, in semi-liquid form, clinging to the ceiling. As he restrains the two SWAT Kats, Viper turns in the chair, which creaks, fingers steepled.
VIPER
Ah, SWAT Katsss! Welcome to your doom! Or should I sssay... to the firssst day of the rest of your livesss!
As the vigilantes kick and struggle, Viper rises from the chair and comes around the side of the desk.
T-BONE
What're you waiting for, ugly? Just finish us off and be done with it!
VIPER
But that would be too easssy! After all the trouble you two have put me through over the yearsss, sinnce the beginning, in fact, I have a much... nassstier fate in mind for you two than mere death!
(cackles)
I'm going to transssform you! But firssst, I think it might be therapeutic for me to let my latessst creationsss knock you around for a bit while I watch.
RAZOR
(strained, choking)
Latest creations?
T-BONE
(strangled)
Y-Yeah, this spineless jelly bozo of yours is old news! Where's--
VIPER
Oh, you'll ssseee!
His face forming out of the amorphous blob, the fungus creature snarls and flings the two kats out the door they came through.
INT. TUNA FACTORY - OFFICES
T-Bone and Razor sail bodily across the room and smash through the frosted windows overlooking the factory floor.
INT. TUNA FACTORY - FACTORY FLOOR
With tandem screams, our heroes fall down to the first floor, landing against the cement floor hard. They groan and writhe, stunned and in pain. Dr. Viper appears above them on the second floor landing, gripping the railing.
RAZOR
(pained)
An arena... it's an arena...
VIPER
Very good... what wasss your name? Razor? Ah, yesss. But that won't matter sssoon. Once I bathe you in my improved version of the Viper Mutagen and turn you into my ssslaves! But firssst... some entertainment!
He snaps his fingers. The walls on either side burst open as the Mega-Trees enter. They're now even bigger than before. The seqouia, entering from the left, is fifty feet tall and barely fits inside even the high-ceiling main area of the old factory, and the palm tree and cactus, on the right, are twenty feet tall. The growl and snarl.
VIPER
Attack them, my Mega-Treesss! Attack!
Stepping forward, the sequoia reaches down to grab T-Bone, who rolls aside. The palm and cactus fire sharp projectiles - razor-edged fronds and spines, respectively - at Razor, who barely manages to get to his feet and run out of the way.
RAZOR
Come on, buddy, we need the Turbokat to deal with these three...!
They bolt for the exit. Viper grips the railing more tightly in anger.
VIPER
No! Ssstop them!
The Mega-Trees give chase. With great strides that make the entire building shake, the sequoia gets to the door and blocks their escape.
T-BONE
Crud!
RAZOR
We're gonna have to fight these guys with just our Glovatrixes! And I've got a plan!
He turns and runs back the way they came, towards the palm and cactus.
RAZOR
Come and get me, big boys!
He runs between the two and leaps up, firing missiles from his Glovatrix.
RAZOR
Flare Missiles deployed!
The Flare Missiles are like miniature versions of the Flashbulb Missiles, emitting bright burst of light. The two plant monsters each squeeze their three eyes shut, blinded, and reflexively fire their deadly projectiles, which sail past Razor's slender, airborne body, and hit each other. Both fly backwards and crash through the walls. The building shakes more as dust and debris begin falling from the ceiling. It's obvious that the old factory can't take much more punishment. Viper, growling, watches from upstairs. Behind him, his mushroom monster looks visibly distressed.
VIPER
N-Noooooo! My Mega-Treesss! My beautiful creationsss!
He whirls to his assistant.
VIPER
(indicating Razor)
Don't jussst stand there, you fool! Get him!
Turning into his liquid form, the fungus monster oozes down the stairs. Meanwhile, T-Bone is fighting against the giant sequoia.
T-BONE
Hey ugly!
The monster growls down at him.
T-BONE
Yeah, that’s right! I’m talkin’ ta you, bucko!
The sequoia gives an angry bellow and lifts one huge foot to stamp him flat. T-Bone dodges. One of the huge arms sweeps down. Smack! It just barely misses him. The building continues shaking and quaking, close to collapsing. Razor moves to aid his friend when suddenly the mushroom monster oozes up behind him and coalesces into his regular shape, lunging at the thin SWAT Kat, mouth wide open.
RAZOR
Have a snape, slimeface!
Razor fires an explosive into the mushroom monster's mouth, which he swallows, closing his mouth. His eyes widen. After a moment, he explodes in a shower of green goo that splatters all over the walls and the floor. Cracks are beginning to spread from the holes in the walls where the Mega-Trees entered, and the factory's structural integrity continues to disintegrate. Viper backs away from the railing as the entire second floor begins quaking ominously around him. At the opposite end of the main factory floor, meanwhile, T-Bone takes aim up at the sequoia.
T-BONE
Launching Mini-Piranha Missiles!
Miniature versions of the Piranha Missile shoot forth and chomp their way into the sequoia. The tree roars in agony as it is eaten up from the inside out, giving an unearthly death scream as it explodes in a shadow of wood chips and sawdust.
T-BONE
Now that's what I call a termite infestation!
RAZOR
Now for Viper!
They turn to confront the evil biochemist, who is still on the second floor, only for the walls to buckle.
INT. TUNA FACTORY - MANAGER'S OFFICE
The flask on the desk wobbles. The floor tilts as the entire building begins leaning precariously to one side. The vessel containing the Viper Mutagen slides to the edge of the desk, by the window.
INT. TUNA FACTORY - FACTORY FLOOR
The place is totally collapsing. The entire second floor section caves inward and Dr. Viper falls down along with a ton of debris. He avoids being buried except for his tail, which gets caught under a big chunk of the upper walkway. He yowls in pain. The SWAT Kats rush over to him.
INT. TUNA FACTORY - MANAGER'S OFFICE
As the room collapses, the desk slides against the wall and the flask flies out the open window.
EXT. TUNA FACTORY - DAY
The flask falls down towards the ground and lands in the overgrown bushes growing along the side of the building.
INT. TUNA FACTORY - FACTORY FLOOR
The SWAT Kats find Viper lying on his stomach in front of the heap of rubble that used to be the upper office area. Like a lizard, his tail has detached and remains stuck under the heavy debris. Green ichor oozes from the stump. He groans, barely conscious.
RAZOR
This place is gonna cave in!
T-BONE
Tell me something I don't know?
Razor kneels beside the prone Dr. Viper.
RAZOR
What about him?
T-BONE
Grab him and let’s go! This place is crumbling faster than my grandma's cheesecake!
Razor grabs Viper by his coat collar and he and T-Bone drag him after them, his tail stump leaving a trail of ichor, while the room continues to disintegrate.
EXT. TUNA FACTORY - DAY
Once outside, they hit the dirt as the entire building collapses. A cloud of dust washes over them, obscuring everything.
ACT II
EXT. TUNA FACTORY - DAY
As it slowly clears, T-Bone groggily gets to his feet. Viper, still out cold, lies beside him. Razor is nowhere to be seen.
T-BONE
Razor? Razor, where are ya, buddy?
RAZOR
(O.S.)
Right here...
Moaning, Razor pushes aside a big hunk of metal and stands up.
T-BONE
(relieved)
What a ride that was...
RAZOR
(groggy sarcasm)
Can we do it again, Dad?
Kneeling, T-Bone checks Viper. The kat-snake scientist is still alive.
T-BONE
He's okay.
Standing, he grins.
T-BONE
Looks like his little trap backfired and we got him for a chance.
Smirking, he looks down at the unconscious Viper.
T-BONE
Finally, you're gonna see the inside of a cell, Doc!
RAZOR
Or a lunatic asylum!
T-BONE
Or whatever the Enforcers decide to do with 'im.
They hear approaching sirens. With Feral's distinct blue and white cruiser in the lead, a small fleet of Enforcer squad cars is speeding towards the destroyed factory.
T-BONE
Speaking of whom, here they come, late as usual...
The squad cats screech to a halt. COMMANDER FERAL and FELINA FERAL get out of the lead vehicle. The other cars disgorge ENFORCER COMMANDOS toting laser rifles.
FERAL
Looks like you SWAT Kats made your usual mess.
T-BONE
Ease up, Feral. We got you guys a present.
He turns and gestures at Dr. Viper on the ground who is slowly coming to.
FERAL
Viper!
He turns to his men.
FERAL
Cuff him before he wakes up!
Several commandos rush forward.
FERAL
Dr. Konway will want to examine him as soon as possible.
The commandos cuff Viper and haul him to his feet, dragging him to a waiting cruiser.
T-BONE
And try keeping him locked up this time!
Feral growls and stomps off. Felina lingers to talk to the SWAT Kats.
FELINA
Good work, you two. A shame about the old tuna factory, though.
T-BONE
Eh, who cares? It was a dump anyway...
He kicks at a piece of rubble.
RAZOR
What do you think will happen to Viper? T-Bone and I were discussing whether he'd wind up in prison or the insane asylum.
Felina turns and watches Viper being put into a cruiser.
COMMANDO #1
Ech, he's gonna get his slime all over the backseat.
COMMANDO #2
Relax, the guys back at the motor pool will clean it up.
Felina turns back to the two SWAT Kats.
FELINA
To be honest, probably neither. At least not at first. The boys at our bio-tech lab will want to get their hands on him for study. Dr. Konway's been interested in him for a long time. To say nothing of the new administrator over at Megakat Biochemical Labs.
A station wagon pulls up behind the line of Enforcer squad cars. DR. BELLJAR gets out and stands holding the open door, watching Viper fidgeting in the backseat of the nearby cruiser. Then, slamming the door, he approaches as far as the Enforcers will alow and stands with his hands in his pockets. Finally, T-Bone yawns and stretches.
T-BONE
Welp, it's been a long day. Monsters killed, bad guy apprehended, and, as your uncle so eloquently put it, we destroyed our one building per day, so it's about time Razor and I got home.
(shouting over to Feral)
That is if His Highness will allow us to leave.
Feral just glowers at them. Felina chuckles.
RAZOR
Seeya later, Lieutenant. You too, Commander.
They hop back into the Turbokat and fly off.
ACT II
ACT II
