“Bet you’ve never seen a Pokemon like this before! Come on out, Darling!”
Patty grinned as she threw the yellow-and-blue pokeball containing her Pokemon partner. A large, wild-haired creature resembling a Magneton appeared before her.
“Saaaandy!” the strange Pokemon shouted. Each of its three bodies wore a quick ball-patterned diaper, taped up in such a way that each unit’s bottom screws poked out of their legholes.
“Whoa! What the heck is that?!” Fredrika asked, eyes wide with wonder. “Is that a Magneton from another region?”
“No,” Patty replied, casually flicking her purple ponytail; she then tightened the pink ribbon securing it. “My scoutmaster says it’s a special Pokemon called a ‘Sandy Shocks.’ Some magazine she reads said it was one of the ‘pair-of-docks’ Pokemon, I think?” She shrugged. “Anyway, I caught it while camping a few weeks ago.”
Fredrika’s face lit up. “Oh, that trashy magazine with all those blurry photos of weird Pokemon? My uncle reads that one, too! I think they’re called ‘Paradox Pokemon,’ though.” She then cocked her head in confusion. “But I thought they were s’posed to all be time-travelling robots from the future or something."
Patty shrugged again. “I dunno, but we only get 15 minutes for recess, so let’s battle already!”
“Right!” the other girl agreed, nodding her head emphatically; the yellow bows in her hair bounced as she did so. She threw the net ball she had been holding. “Go get ‘em, Chewy!”
A yellow Tatsugiri wearing a tape-up diaper colored like its pokeball landed in front of Fredrika. “Tatsu-su...” it said, looking at its opponent with caution.
"You're not ready for Freddi!" Fredrika shouted, moving to press the button on her mega bracelet.
"Oh my Arceus, please stop saying that!" Patty said, rolling her eyes.
"C'mon, you're no fun...," Fredrika pouted. “Okay, fine. We’re gonna triple-team you!” she declared with new vigor, this time pressing the button. “Mega-Evolution!”
The Tatsugirinite hanging around Chewy’s neck glowed; in a flash of light, the fish Pokemon powered up into its Mega-Evolved form. “Tatsugiri!!!” each of its three heads exclaimed, synchronized.
"Yeah, Chewy and I are gonna kick your sandy butts!" Fredrika exclaimed enthusiastically. She pointed dramatically, her long, brown twintails fluttering in the wind that had been stirred by her Pokemon’s transformation.
Patty’s hand quickly shot to the fluffy seat of her denim shortalls. “Hey, my butt’s not cra- “Her eyes widened. “Oh, you said ‘sandy’...” she muttered, blushing.
Seemingly not hearing the other girl’s comment, Fredrika continued, “Chewy, use Dragon Pulse!”
“Tatsu-” Chewy replied, charging the attack.
“Darling!” Patty called to her Pokemon, “Get ready to dodge and use, uh…Discharge!“
The Sandy Shocks turned around and looked at its trainer, then looked back at the enemy Pokemon, then back to its trainer; it shook its topmost head side-to-side.
“What?” Patty asked, taken aback. “‘No?’ But you gotta attack before - “
“-Giri!”
Darling was hit in the back by a blast of energy shot from all three of Chewy’s mouths. “Shock!” the electric Pokemon cried in pain. A cloud of dust rose around it as it skidded a few inches.
“Good job, Chewy!” the Tatsugiri’s trainer praised. She then pointed to Patty. “Ha, your Pokemon was too slow! You gotta attack faster if you wanna win!”
Patty coughed, dusted the dirt off of her lavender shirt, then frowned. “But, I - “ She turned to Darling, her expression growing stern. “Why didn’t you listen to me?”
After shaking off the attack, Darling straightened back up and defiantly faced away from its trainer. “Hmf!”
“Okay, fine,” Patty replied, “It doesn’t have to be Discharge. Use Earth Power instead!”
If Darling heard its trainer, it didn’t respond; instead, the Paradox Pokemon took this opportunity to poop. All three of its diapers started to bulge out in the back, as a pungent, earthy stink permeated the playground.
“Come on, that's not what I meant! Gross!” Patty protested, waving a hand in front of her face. She then growled, balling her hands into fists as she stomped her foot. “Darling! You need to fight, or we won’t win this!”
“Ha ha, wow,” laughed Fredrika, “Your Pokemon sure isn’t listening to you! How many badges do you even have?”
“Badges…?” Patty asked, her brow furrowing, “Like, the merit badges I earn for my scout stuff?" She put a finger to her chin. " I guess I got a lotta those…”
“What? Merit badges?!” Fredrika asked incredulously. “Hahaha, no, you hafta have gym badges to get rowdy Pokemon to listen to you in battle! Miss Scarlett said so, remember?”
“I guess I wasn't paying attention…” Patty said as she looked down at her pink-and-white tennis shoes, her face burning red.
“But yeah, try getting some badges.” Fredrika advised. “Anyway, it’s my turn again, so…” pointing to Darling, she commanded her own Pokemon, “Chewy, use Water Gun!”
“Girigiri!” the Tatsugiri replied as it fired a burst of water at its opponent.
“Deee!” Darling spluttered, taking the attack in the faces this time. It quickly shook itself off, but its strength looked to be flagging.
“Oh yeah!” Fredrika said, pumping her fist, “That one looked super-effective!”
“C’mon!” Patty pleaded to her Pokemon partner, “Please, use a move! Any move!”
Darling tuned out its trainer, choosing instead to hunker down and nod off to sleep.
Fredrika snickered. “This one’s in the bag! Chewy, finish it off with a Mud Shot!”
Chewy complied, firing off a blob of mud at its sleeping foe. “Su-gir!”
“Saaand?!” For a split second, Darling woke up from the muddy impact - then it immediately fainted. “Shhh…!”
“Darling, no!” Patty cried out as she ran up to her knocked out Pokemon.
“I win! I win!” Fredrika shouted jubilantly as she jumped up and down; her layered pink top and yellow skirt fluttered with the movement. She stopped jumping. “Man, that was so exciting, I - “ Fredrika cut herself off as a thin trickle of pee ran down her right leg and splashed onto her pink flip-flop.
"Ack!" She recalled her Pokemon. “That was fun, but I gotta go change my pull-up, like, now! Bye, see ya in class!” she called over her shoulder as she sprinted off to the restroom.
“Darling, what am I gonna do with you…?” Patty muttered as she returned the Sandy Shocks to its pokeball. She bent down and tied her shoes, straightened her lavender socks, then stood up.
“Well, I guess the first thing would be to go to the nurse to get you healed…” As she started heading for the school office, she added, “And get you changed, too…”
