Hi, my name is Jebedidah Topaz and I was sent to the Multiverse to spread the word of our lord Jesus Christ. I chanced upon Tarkir, the plane of evil dragons and demons and non-white people.
"Hello, may I have a minute of your time?" I asked an evil bucktoothed woman.
She croned, she reeked of the devil and fried noodles.
"You may bow down to our lord Satan and our pagan Jeskai ways" she said evilly with a raspy voice.
Then two ugly women lesbos showed up and began to kiss! Today the devil really was out for our lord.
"Repent!" I yelled at them.
"HAW HAW HAW your pitiful god is no match for our gods!" said the elf lesbian woman.
It was hopeless. It was as though I was surrounded by Lamanites. Then, thankfully, a light appeared.
"In the name of our father Jesus Christ I smite thee!" said....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ELPSETH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then her sword glowed as bright as the lord and reduced the evil prostitutes to ashes.
"Elspeth, will you marry me?" I asked in a christian way.
"Yes, because I am an unmarried woman and that does not stand in the eyes of our lord" she replied
Then we married and she walked always three steps behind me. We had many children and spread the word of Christ across the many planes.
Amen.
