Ah….summer, the time to voraciously venture out on vacations, the time to truly appreciate what makes the outdoors so great, the time to simply soak up sunlight and smell the roses.
TAP! TAP! TAP!
Well, at least that’s what a few would rather do in these toasty temperatures. On the other side of that spectrum, like the shadows cast by that scorching sphere in the sky, is a particular person who casts the sunshine aside amidst their completionist commitments, someone more inclined to stay inside and insist the suggestion to touch grass is no more than a meme.
TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!
Yes, without a guess, it’s “the gamer”. Despite being out of school for several years, there he is, content to continue the classroom conventions of sitting in a single spot and fixating on a single subject while fingers fastidiously finish the tasks he’s told. Despite being the time to give his brain a break, this go-getter gamer’s got every crevice of his cranium engrossed in a game whose title betrays his total attentiveness, “Kirby and the Forgotten Land”.
TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!
TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!
Don’t let cute and pink protagonists preciously shouting “Poyo!” prompt the thought this pursuit is mere child’s play, however, for the gamer is on a journey not everyone ten and up can undertake, a duty to leave not a crumb of content uncovered. Not one Waddle Dee will be barred from the light of day. Not a single side mission shall go unfinished, and you bet not even the buffeting cold nor the barrage of boss battles to be fought at Blizzard Bridge will keep him from this quest of completion.
“Do your worst.” says the Joy-Con connoisseur unacquainted with cold feet alongside his blade brandishing buddy bound to make boss rushes a breeze as Wild Edge, the fur collared fighter wielding that same very sword, appears as the first of their opponents.
En garde!
SLASH! SLASH! SLASH!
And yet, wild as that warrior may be, for not a fraction of the fight are his foes put on edge. He couldn’t even slice off a single shred of Kirby’s health! Clearly, he’ll never be a cut above the king of copy abilities! Now, onto the second movement…
SLASH! SLASH! SLASH!
…and neither does the flamboyant Fluerina put on much of a show, for while her graceful twists and turns blow beginners away, it’s simply the same song and dance to the seasoned gamer. Tornadoes and gales may be her gimmick, but today it’s the swan who's got a big storm coming to her. When are these bosses gonna start bringing the hammer down?
SLASH! SLASH! SLASH!
Well, if the one who brought the hammer has anything to say, it’s never! Try as Wild Bonkers might with his several swings and slams, instead it’s the star-hammered simian who suffers a crushing defeat at Kirby’s superb swordsmanship.
“Alright, just one more battle to go.” says the gamer with composed breaths, well aware that now’s not the time to get too full of himself over his full bar of health, that even with three flawless victories, he’s gotta keep his cool when far frostier fighters are the final battle ahead.
BOOM! BOOM!
And, who could be any more frosty than the Twin Wild Frosties? Their appearance won’t send chills down anyone’s spine, and neither can their standalone strength compare to the character who’s bested otherworldly beings, but even so, times where two on one is a fair fight are few and far between, especially when their infamous side mission demands not a dollop of damage be taken. Certainly, both player and puffball know it’s time to get serious.
“Let’s do this.”
The gamer’s fingers swiftly drum on the dual Joy-Con controller, each digit itching to do immaculate inputs at a moments notice, like gunslingers during their daring quick draw duels. His eyes, precisely pinpointing every single pixel of the screen, solemnly staring at each Frosty, are paired with a face frozen in sheer focus, perhaps more-so than even his frigid foes.
In the frostbitten barrens of Blizzard Bridge, only the heat of battle brings warmth.
3….2….1…..FIGHT!
FWOOOM! SLAM! FWOOOOM!
“Woah!”
Right out of the gate, somehow it’s the Frosty twins who are red-hot in their unrelenting assault as body slams and snowballs from the both of them bombard the arena.
WOOOSH! WOOOSH!
With such a menacing mix of physical and projectile attacks, the gamer’s already breaking into a sweat while Kirby’s last second sidesteps leave the both of them on thin ice. Hard as it is to balance offense and defense against this tag team trouble, he’s optimizing every opening possible, using every successful dodge to slash away at-
SMACK!
Oh no! So focused on walloping one of those walruses, a snowball smacks the completely vulnerable Kirby from behind!
“Dang it! Dang it! Dang it! COME ON!”
That clean hit doesn’t come close to knocking Kirby out cold, but suddenly the gamer once cool as a cucumber is on the verge of a meltdown as he angrily stomps his feet on the floor, oh so furious over the fact he has to slog through the same level….to bore himself to death with those exact same fights all…..over…..again….solely because a single mistake stopped his quest for completion.
“Fine…let’s try that again.”
Breaths once so calm and collected swiftly shift to sheer annoyance while he restarts the level, but unfortunately for him, rather than freezing solid, such feelings will only further progress to their boiling point.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
Minutes turn to hours, day turns to night, and exasperated sighs snowball into full blown temper tantrums from the gamer unable to get back into a groove as failures to flawlessly fight off the Frosty Twins send him further into a frenzy.
“That’s IT! If I don’t beat these….fucking frosty…..freaks next time, I SWEAR! I’M GONNA BREAK THIS TV INTO…….huh?”
But, before he can even finish his unhinged ranting, all of that gushing of gamer rage immediately subsides in place of such unbridled befuddlement, such utterly and unequivocally complete confusion, towards the Frosty twins he’s fought at length.
CRINKLE! CRINKLE! CRINKLE!
CRINKLE! CRINKLE! CRINKLE!
Replacing the black overalls they’ve boasted every game is clothing so scarcely sported by any Kirby character, friend, foe, or throwaway, in the whole franchise, pampers all the more painfully out of place in how their bizarrely big and snug appearance goes against their perennial penchant for permafrost.
“W-wh-what……?”
The gamer can only drop the controller in further confoundedness, his mouth fully agape at the fact the foes he’s so ferociously and flawlessly wanted to finish off, those foes who’ve even more ferociously and thoroughly done the same to him for hours on end, are now wearing nothing but…..diapers, just….thick….and poofy……diapers. Whether this is some sort of strange glitch, a sign of a secretly modded Switch, or a manufactured easy mode mercilessly mocking him for his many mistakes, none of that matters to him in these moments, for even if the most immensely infuriating of those explanations is the truth, he’s simply too stupefied that somehow, someway, the delinquent duo donning diapers doesn’t come even close to the strangest sight of them all.
“What…..the…..fuck?!”
So eerily, so unnaturally unfazed by the infantile attire around his own waist, fully tapping into the uncanny horror of front facing fictional characters, is one of the Frosty twins just….standing stock still….simply staring at the gamer whose face is now pale as a ghost through the screen that’s since become the sole light source in the living room. His frigid foe isn’t the slightest bit ready to attack, not even lifting a mere finger to fight, but for some reason, it’s his inaction that’s unfathomably more threatening than any sum of body slams and snowballs.
SMACK!
The gamer’s mind already in such a mishmash from malding way past midnight, a problem made only more prominent from all this paranormal padded nonsense, it takes him more than a few seconds to process the other Frosty pelting Kirby with a projectile. As much as he may want to follow on that promise of tearing his TV a new one, too tired and too terrified, he can’t even muster the strength to be livid about another lost battle.
“This is…so weird. This so so…so so weird.” he shakily states as he slowly picks the controller back up, totally unaware things are only gonna get so extremely, so exponentially stranger from here. “Maybe if I just restart again it’l- WOOOOOAH!”
Following a flash from the screen, an unfathomable force whisks him away to who knows where, and neither will he be any more familiar once it’s finished with him as he lands flat on his face.
“W-where am I? Brrr….so….cold…”
Woken up by a sudden windchill, opening his eyes ever so slowly, all the more swiftly does he realize his surroundings aren’t the sole thing he should be asking about.
“Gah! WHAT am I?”
Hands that should be blistered by many hours of button mashing are now not hands at all, but rather….claws. Pink, pointy claws. His arms, only making his own appearance all the more absurd, are not limbs layered by flesh, but by……feathers.
“Wait a second. I’m…I’m”
White. Black. Light blue. Colors he’s been close to for several years, a scheme and skin so specific that even on wings alone, he doesn’t have to wing it on what he is. Yes, without a doubt, he’s become the budgie embodiment of himself, his avian avatar, his feathered fursona…
“Bougie! I’m…Bougie!” he says as he lifts himself off not the cushion of carpeted floors, but the severely snow coated asphalt only slightly less familiar than his form. “And….this is….Blizzard Brjdge.”
To be in that vivid landscape of a video game, especially one as iconic as Kirby, to be the one who breaks those seemingly inseparable boundaries between fiction and reality, why, it’s a gamer’s dream come true, no? And yet, although both body and biome aren’t the least bit unfamiliar, never has Bougie felt such immense unease as the permafrost once the compiling of pixels and code is nothing but palpable with each and every shiver sent down his spine, all while the only the clothing to keep him warm is….
“A….a diaper? W-what am I doing in a diaper?”
So too would crinkly garments worn by the very comfort character he’s become bring him comfort, but amidst these cruel conditions, all alone and so far from home, the diaper around his waist denotes only the drawbacks of its most diminutive wearers…..weakness…frailty…dependency…when not even Kirby is there to care for him.
CRINKLE! CRINKLE! CRINKLE!
CRINKLE! CRINKLE! CRINKLE!
However, crinkling not prompted by his own pampers suddenly proves he was never alone all along, but far less certain is whether this is the kind of company he wants as the ones bidding him welcome are….the Twin Wild Frosties.
“OH MY GOD!”
POOMF! CRINKLE!
Falling flat onto his padded and powdered posterior, despite all of them donning diapers, Bougie definitely doesn’t see them as birds of a feather.
“W-why did you guys bring me here? What’s all this for? Is this because I called you frosty freaks?”
“Well, take it from us, that was pretty…COLD!” says one of the twins with a goofy chuckle.
“That aside, you’ve been spending the whole day frozen solid to your Switch, and for what? Merely a single side mission?” says the second one with a much more condescending chuckle. “Funny as it’s been seeing all your immature temper tantrums, it’s almost sad how…childish…you’ve been acting.”
Once again, feelings so intense suddenly shift to the most profound of puzzlement, as though this chain of events hasn’t already been confusing enough. So flabbergasted is the budgie that he can’t be bothered to budge beyond the raise of a single eyebrow.
“Ar-are you serious? All of this just to lecture me? You guys sound like my parents.” Bougie says with a pouty cross of his arms.
“Uh-huh! That’s right!” says the first Frosty with a hearty laugh.
“Well, it’s not like you were gonna stop anytime soon.” says the second one in a tone no less patronizing than last time. “So, tell you what, kiddo. If you promise to go to bed like a good boy and play no more video games for the rest of the week, we’ll let you go!”
There it was, the out to all these strange circumstances, the chance to be back in the comforts of home, all for the price of that simple promise.
Step…step…step
Crinkle…crinkle…crinkle
But, Bougie? No no no no no! Even in his babyish birdie form, he’s not taking this one bit! It’s because of the Twin Frosties that he’s spent several hours seething with rage! It’s because of them that he’s been placed in this peculiar predicament! Most importantly, it’s because of them that he can’t beat the game to 100% completion, and now, here they are, having the gall to ground him?! No…no more will they ruffle his feathers.
“I’ve got a better idea.” says the one now set to kill two birds with one stone, the one ready for revenge he’d rather not serve cold as he stands back up with a face devoid of fear. “It’s time to finish what I’ve started.”
“Haha, you hear that? He wants to give this another go!” says the first Frosty as he gives his twin a glance.
“Ha…you gamers. You and your pointless pride.” says the second Frosty believing that’s a birdbrained move. “Fine, challenge accepted. But, know this. If you lose this time, then you’ll-
“Raaaaaaah!”
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
All that gamer rage finally coming to full burst, Bougie comes swinging with a feathered flurry of fists, unleashing a blistering barrage of blows to the Frosty’s big belly. Now, it’s time for the final blow! It’s time to finish the fight once and for all!
“Take this!”
BOOOOOM!
………….
Alas, although there’s no health bar to show for it, standing here he realizes he’s not like the all-powerful puffball he played as. All those blows, all those punches, literally light as a feather to his foe.
“You cooled off yet, kid?” says the second Frosty without a scratch as Bougie defensively jumps away.
“If not, we’ve got just the thing!” says the first Frosty as snowballs spawn into his hands.
“Uh oh…”
FWOOSH! FWOOSH! FWOOSH!
FWOOSH! FWOOSH! FWOOSH!
A near countless amount of those chilly projectiles comes crashing towards the unfortunately flightless bird, but to Bougie, as if fueled by this double dose of determination, it’s like every snowball is coming at him in slow motion while he dips, ducks, and dodges every single one.
“Come on! Is that all you got? What happened to all the challenge from before?” says the diaper-clad budgie with a burst of confidence.
Just like that, the surge of snowballs suddenly stops, seemingly putting this already frigid fight frozen solid in a stalemate. But, if the second Frosty’s smirk has anything to say, not even Bougie’s evasive maneuvers have made their resolve melt away.
“Hah, you got us, kid. We’ve just been messing around.” he says before doing a big leap over the bird’s head and landing on the other side of the stage.
“Sorry about that, but you know what they say! There’s gotta be a BUTT to every joke!” the first Frosty adds as wiggles his thickly padded tush.
“What?”
WHAAAAAM!!!
Suddenly following silly puns is a padded pincer attack pulverizing the one in its path as Bougie gets a buttload of poofy pampers from both sides! Ooooh, and that’s the match folks! Devastating diaper bumps have bumped him off the completionist path yet again!
“Now then, as I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me.” says the second Frosty to the dazed and defeated in diapers. “If you lose to us, then you’ll be under our care. And, well, what do you know! You lost!”
POOOOOOOMF!!!
As though to welcome their new addition to the Frosty family, a bewilderingly bigger diaper suddenly appears between Bougie’s legs, boasting ice blue frills all around the front and back as well.
“Uhhhhh….WOAH!”
Before the bird can even process his punishment, even more punishment awaits as the second Frosty scoops him up and lays him on his belly with a single hand.
“Although, what kind of caregivers would we be if we didn’t give you proper discipline?”
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
“That’s for all your rude behavior. You should know better, boy!” he says following a substantial spanking to Bougie’s profoundly poofier posterior.
“Ooh! We gotta dress him up too!” says the first Frosty.
POOF!
In a flash, Bougie now boasts a black onesie with with a flap for the many diaper changes he’ll need during his indefinite time with the new Frosty family and a locking function to ensure he’s always looking cute in their colors, all while blue mittens and booties add even more of a frosty flourish.
“Alright, now I believe the baby needs some rest!” says the second Frosty as he scoops Bougie back up. “It’s about time you got a break from all those video games, huh? You should be thanking us for this!”
Too exhausted to protest, all the babyfied Bougie can do is begrudgingly accept his fate as he’s placed in a birdcage alongside the Waddle Dee he would have saved had his attempts been successful. Only time will tell whether someone of greater skill will set them free, but until that day comes, it’s…..
Game Over
![[Pokémon/Babyfur] Welcome to the Family!](https://va.ib.metapix.net/images80/overlays/writing.png "[Pokémon/Babyfur] Welcome to the Family!"){kind=small}
