Alone Toshiba sat in the middle of their deserted daysite. Everyone was down by the river now, to mend the idiot that jumped off a cliff. He didn't even bite him that hard! Chen was pissy too, set out on his own to hunt, which forced Toshi to fend for himself. It went... okay. He wasn't full, but not starving either. Still, that whole mess was such a... mess!
He didn't do anything wrong! He'd just tried to make things better. For Turnipper. Yet everything was worse. Res was the one who attacked first anyway! He'd made clear what would happen from the start. It was his own damn fault!
"There you are," a familiar voice suddenly spoke behind him, soft and small.
Sullen, Toshi kept his back turned towards the fox. Now he was showing?! After disregarding him for days. "Doesn't the sap need you?" he huffed.
"Obviously. That's what I'm here for!" Turnipper countered, slowly circling the pouting wolf. He didn't say any more, just snorted dismissively and generally looked... frightening. "Don't you want to know how he's doing?"
"Probably good, considering you're bugging me, rather than spending more time by his side."
Defiantly, the much smaller fox tipped his ears forward and bristled his fluffy tail. "His face is still swollen and his eye bloodshot too from your little fit," he said, not keeping the accusatory tone from his voice. "His ribs are bruised, he can't walk and we're trying everything we can to prevent an infection. Baochenmo and I keep him fed, he even needs my help to take a piss! So, yes, he's doing just fine."
"..."
Unwavering he kept his green eyes trained on the grumpy giant. "Don't you feel anything for him? No compassion? No remorse?"
Defensively Toshi growled, "I didn't throw him down that waterfall!"
"You didn't do anything to stop him either!"
"WHY ARE YOU SO AGAINST ME?! I TRIED TO PROTECT YOU!" the wolf finally exploded, his shaggy, red fur flustered. There was genuine anger in his big, yellow eyes, though there was also something else. Something much less frightening that Toshi hid behind his balled fists and curled lip.
Turnipper waited a moment for the wolf to let his guard down. It worked, Toshi was simple to predict. Candidly he came closer and crouched down in front of his super sized wolf. "I'm not against you," he said, gently taking hold of his lover's clenched hand. It felt hard and unyielding, his rough knuckles standing out. "I'm worrying about you!"
"Tsk..." Stubbornly he pulled his fist out of Turnipper's tender paws. "There's nothing to worry about!"
"Reszet is your pack-mate, he's hurt, in great part because of you, and you haven't even checked on him once. Tell me..." When the wolf didn't met his gaze, Turnipper grabbed him by the chin and forced him to look into his eyes. "Tell me, do you really don't care about Res? Would you care if he had died?"
After a brief moment of thought, Toshi averted his eyes. "I'm not his den mother."
"But you claim to be his alpha!"
"I don't claim, I am!"
"Then why do you hurt those in your care?!" the fox demanded to know. "And I don't mean just the bite. I saw how you treat him. And how you treat Baochenmo too!"
He snorted, "Chen can take care of himself."
"Maybe," the fox agreed. "But that gives you neither reason, nor the right to overrule and undermine everything he does and say, just because you're stronger - alpha or not."
"An alpha has to lead!"
"An alpha also has to listen to his pack! To its advice, critique... needs!" Tenderly he sought the contact to the wolf again and soon combed Toshi's chest with his thin fingers, up and down. It calmed him a bit. "When was the last time you listened to your pack-mates?"
An awkward silence followed, at the end of which Toshiba mumbled, "They only talk shit anyway..."
"Sometimes you have to listen to what they do, not what they say. I've heard you wolves are good at that."
"What they do?" Toshi repeated, only mildly interested in that lesson. "Like what? Jumping off a cliff?"
Turnipper glanced up admonitory. "For example!" He was pretty irked by how casually Toshi treated this matter, but let it slip for now to address the more pressing issue. One lesson at a time for this big dummy! "Why do you think he did that?" he asked, wanting to hear the wolf's take on it.
As he often does, Toshi rattled away. "Well, he flipped out because I knocked him down a peg. Totally overreacted!" Seeking approval, the giant wolf glanced down at the fox who, by now, sat in his lap. He didn't look satisfied with the answer at all! "Alright, maybe I overdid it a bit. But I thought he was hurting you!" Still not pleased. That adorable, little face could be really cruel! With a growl, the wolf demanded, "What do you want to hear?!"
Not that, Turnipper was sure. Though how to get through this thick wolf skull? "Forget about the bite for a moment," he said, attempting a different approach. "Let's go a bit further back. Why did you tell Res to treat me better?"
"To... make you feel better. Obviously!" Toshi said, a bit unsure, even though this sounded like a mundane question.
"And why did you hit him?"
The large canine rummaged his memories for a moment and eventually spilled his findings, "Because he pissed me off and was an obnoxious shit."
"Why did you toss him a bone and ate the rest yourself, that day the hunt didn't go well?"
"Well, because I need to be fit for the next hunt. I told you that. The alpha needs his strength. He's mooching off Chen anyways."
"Why did you tell him to 'suck on a slimy stinkhorn', were your words if I remember correctly, when Res bugged you to go on a patrol?"
Slowly growing frustrated, Toshi answered again. "Because I'm not fucking going to interrupt my nap to help him piss on trees!"
"And why do you kick him away at night, when he comes to sleep with you, while allowing me near you?"
"Because I don't need a twitching, whining pup to keep me awake!" he growled, finally reaching the end of his rather short thread of patience. "What's with all the stupid questions?!"
"YOU!" Turnipper replied, catching the red wolf by surprise. "You. You. You. You. It's always you! You want your way. You need to eat. You have to nap. Have you ever considered what Res needs?! Why do you think he comes to you at night? When it rains?!" he asked next, turning the question upside down, though this time didn't wait for an answer. "Because he's cold and doesn't have as much fur and fat as you! Why did he beg you to come along with him? Because he's the smallest of you all and would feel safer with a brute like you at his side! And about that bone: Doesn't he need to be strong for the next hunt too?! He did his part and you take away his share! And don't gimme that 'but he refused your offer' bullshit. He's a wolf and just as proud as you! Now tell me, Toshiba, why do you think did he piss you off when you asked him to be nice to me?"
The wolf made an attempt, but ultimately didn't say anything. Yeah, okay, maybe it was fair payback?
"And for that little bit of confidence he dares to show, you beat him up!"
"..."
The fox sighed. "Toshi, I'm not trying to make you look bad, you're very good at this on your own. I'm trying to show you what your actions mean for this pack and its members. That your actions indeed have consequences, even though you're not always the one to feel them." Belligerently he nudged and pushed the wolf's massive bicep. "You always talk about being the alpha, about being strong and a leader. But..." Obviously loosing the fight against Toshi's bulk, Turnipper grabbed his cheeks instead and met his yellow eyes to share the hard truth. "...all I see is a pup sitting on top of the moon."
The wolf didn't argue anymore, though he also didn't relent. Grimly he stared over Turnipper's head. He knew that the fox's words held some truth, but wouldn't acknowledge it. He was the alpha - the biggest, the strongest. His word goes! Taking it back, or admitting failure was not an option. He'd learned his lessons and wouldn't repeat past mistakes. Compassion, remorse, pity, generosity... those were for the weak! Toshiba was strong! A leader! At the top! And he wouldn't tolerate any doubt in that! A fox couldn't understand...
"I am not a pup anymore!" Toshi grated out, with a puff of hot breath.
Turnipper sighed again. "Alright, big boy..." Let's leave the past be then and try to focus on the future. "Do you intend to keep on secluding yourself, or will you join us at the river?" When he looked up, the large head above him nodded slightly. "Will you apologize to Res?"
"What for--" Toshi trailed off when he saw the fox's sour expression.
"Because...!" Turnipper began in a strict tone, "Your actions have been unwarranted -and- excessive. Because you hurt your friend. And because Reszet could use the affirmation that he's still welcome and appreciated." The wolf hesitated. "And because this pack needs a big, strong alpha wolf now to pull it back together." A bit softer he added, "And because a certain fox will be pretty disappointed with you, if you don't."
"Mrrr, fine!" he grumbled as he stood and, in the process, shooed Turnipper quite ungently from his lap. Toshi didn't really want to deal with this, but he also couldn't defer the matter forever. He had to face Reszet eventually. Better to tear out the thorn quick.
With a little distance to give his wolf time to think, Turnipper followed in silence. It was a lengthy walk and slightly awkward, but also kinda serene. When the scent of lavender eventually began to tickle their noses, the makeshift daysite came into view. Chen was there, motionlessly sitting upon his hill to watch over his comrade from afar. Reszet still lay by the fire, resting. Though he perked up and immediately shrunk, when he saw the big, red canine walking his way. He relaxed some upon seeing Turnipper, but stayed tense.
When Toshi halted a few paces away from the gray wolf's sickbed, he didn't say anything, just stared down on the hurt guy with a harsh, unreadable glance. Turnipper halted beside his lover and waited patiently, though it became apparent that he needed a jump start when an awkward silence spread between them all. "Toshi came to tell you something. Isn't that right?" Encouragingly he put his hand to the wolf's thick arm.
Taking a quick breath, Toshiba huffed and then tersely said, "Sorry I bit you."
Again Turnipper stood down. That was honestly a rather pathetic apology, but he wasn't going to scold Toshi in front of the others. That would not only be rude and unfair, but also counterproductive. He could help, but these wolves had to learn to solve their issues themselves, so the fox simply observed. Though the awkward silence returned swiftly. Toshi didn't have more to say, apparently, and Reszet was likewise at a loss for words, though at least tried to manage eye contact with the bigger canine.
When a subtle grope failed to prompt more words form his wolf, Turnipper eventually stepped forth and casually sided with Res. "That's okay," he said in the gray wolf's direction, then brought one hand down on his shoulder. "You don't have to forgive Toshi." Resolutely he held the look of betrayal in the red wolf's dull eyes, then added, "I can see why you feel that way, and it's alright." Just as composed, the fox left Reszet's side again and returned to his lover. "Toshiba has to understand that what he did hurt you and destroyed a lot of trust. Rebuilding that trust will take time and effort," he said directly into the grumpy wolf's face, before turning around again. "But thank you for hearing what Toshiba had to say! I think you both did an important first step today to reconcile." A baby step neither of the two seemed to appreciate nearly as much as the fox, but hey, you gotta start somewhere.
Forced to rest on his still ailing hip, Reszet lay on the ground and awkwardly stared up at the other two, a bit unsure what to do now. He at least acknowledged Turnipper's humble praise with a nod. The fox only wanted to help, Res knew, but he also was right: There was a lot of damaged trust. Though, for better or worse, this pack needed Toshi and so did Reszet. He knew that, since the bite, there was something between himself and Toshiba that never could be fully mended - he felt it deep down. But he also felt that there was still hope and a chance to make things better. For Turnipper's sake, he wanted to focus on this, even though it was hard right now.
"Would it be alright for you, if Toshi stays here with us?" the fox asked after a little pause. His bushy tail wagged eagerly behind his back at the prospect. This would give them all more chance to grow back together. Well, all except for the ghost on the hill, maybe. He yet had to find a means to get through to the taciturn wolf.
After a moment of doubt, Res nodded and was glad when the other wolf didn't opt to sit down right beside him, but across the fire. The lazy flames reflected eerily in Toshi's golden eyes, which occasionally flicked back and forth between Res and Turnipper, who had taken place right between the two, rather than by Toshi's side. The fox sparked most, if not all of their conversations, though despite his best efforts didn't manage to keep one going between the two wolves.
It was a bit frustrating, he had to admit, but Turnipper was patient. Eventually, though, he once again came to the conclusion that, while able to provide help, he wasn't going to be the solution of this damaged pack's problems. The wolves had to contribute too! He'd brought them to sit together again, that already was an achievement. Maybe now was the right time to give them some space without a third party present?
With a little sigh, the fox rose. "You'll excuse me for a bit, I gotta go for little foxes. You two will be good on your own, right?" he asked, particularly in Reszet's direction. A bit nervously, the gray wolf nodded, so Turnipper gave him and then Toshi an encouraging smile, before he left. "I won't be far."
Once the fox was gone, the fire's crackling was the only audible thing. Forlorn Reszet simply tried to wait the unpleasant situation out, while Toshiba couldn't decide whether the injured wolf, or the glowing embers were harder to look at. The moment dragged on, though eventually the taut silence was broken.
"Why the fuck did you jump down that cliff? Your stupid attitude makes everything awkward!" Toshi grumbled under his breath, fed up with this whole fuss. Res couldn't handle his own damn shit and now he was the one to fall between the cracks. He was the culprit. The unreasonable one. Turnipper probably didn't say half of what he thought, but he'd said enough. He didn't think Toshi was capable of being the alpha! The red wolf's giant hands clenched.
Startled at first, a bout of anger swiftly welled up in Reszet. It just as swiftly gave way to a more intense pang of sadness. "You ask why?" he said trembling. "You beat me, bite me, treat me like nasty shit and you ask why...?" With a sob, the gray wolf's voice wavered. "You guys are everything I have!"
