Hello my loyal Patreons/Followers/Watchers, it is time I address my long hiatus and silence.
Lawsuit, Health and Depression : I have not done art in quite awhile and have been very down in life recently. I'm suffering from some sort of serious depression where I feel like im drifting away in bed every second of my life, while unable to get up or do anything. On top of that I'm stressed, I'm stressed that I have to be alone and fight a lawsuit against my upstairs neighbors that has made my life a living hell with their noise. My parents think im overreacting or thinking too much. Due to the noise I have been unable to sleep. And without sleep I have no energy, my health is failing and my stress and depression is stuck in a vicious cycle. It's pretty self explanatory. I lost interest in art and anything NSFW, at least for now. I don't want to be like this, I want to be my healthy old self again. This is a prison, I feel like im in a mental and emotional prison while my physical body is deteriorating. I'm starting to worry alot as my face has changed and iv lost alot of hair due to all of this agony and weight. It makes me look at myself as ugly and I feel hopeless and in pain.
Twitter : On top of that I recently lost my main Twitter account. I posted there quite often but it got taken down with no reason. Iv been trying to get it back since and iv messaged them but gotten no response. Others like me who drew stuff I drew got their accounts reinstated but why not me...I feel like the world is out to get or kill me...
Army : On the 4th of July 2024, I'll be gone even longer, and even more silent. Because I'll be conscripted. Country mandatory army service. I'll be on an island and isolated. Won't be able to come home for some time and phone-usage is very very limited. I'll update if I can. Ofcourse, I'm stressed by it too..and very nervous. I don't think getting scolded there daily and shouted at while I do hard physical tasks with a degrading body is not very healthy for my overall being..heh
Since most of my peers and close friends are overseas, I feel like im losing them too. I hear about them getting married, moving out and one by one I'm left behind. I'm so scared of losing people again. Everyone moves on and I just...can't.
I can't even go back home to my parents nor my room and bed because I can no longer live with my family due to my neighbors harassing me. They are killing me and the law is not doing anything about it. I hate this country. And now I'm forced to serve and protect people that try to kill me. People that made my life miserable! These neighbors aren't even from my country.
Why do I need to waste 2 years of my life at my lowest of low point to protect people I wish were dead. This is NOT FAIR.
Closing : I still have so much I want to do. I want to fix my health, my body, my face and hair, I want to finish all the owed Commissions and Art I have kept as WIPs. I want to grow again on Twitter and get the account back, but I don't know how. I want to be the old spicy bright self again...All I can do rn is try, and fix things one by one. While everything else stresses and worries me. Even little things like "Will my audience still remember my name anymore" these things kill me.
Owed Commission List : Sugar's Duo Comm Sync's Duo Comm Cosmic's Solo (Twitter) IrisRose's Duo (Discord) FoxyGamer's Solo (Discord)
I'm currently unable to contact Cosmic, we spoke in Twitter DMs and we'll...that got wiped away. If you can contact me again please do so.
Furvie's Discord : https://discord.com/invite/AG2wGyJA28 This is my Discord where Iv kept mostly silent but open. I have yet to plug it in a long time, feel free to join and swim around in it!
Furvie's Public Telegram : https://t.me/Furvieverse Furvieverse is basically the story I'm trying to tell about my world and characters. I'm certain most of my audience only know them for NSFW stuff but not the general overall story.
Closing again : I'll be away for some time due to Army taking most of my time. 2 years. But I'll be more free after the first 4 months. My Discord is open but quite dead for now, the Telegram channel is also quite new as its a public one that hasn't been worked on yet.
I feel like the world around me that Iv so passionately built and cherished and thrived in is being crumbled into dust and fading into nothing. I feel so lonely and that people I talk to no longer love and want to make a connection with me. Like a dog on the outside looking in.
I just feel so alone, resentful, angry, like crying all the time and lost. I'm so overwhelmed and no matter how much I rest, I'm tired. But remembering I still have BUSY with life people that barely know me still care about me being alive is just holding my mind together.
Feel free to directly DM me or comment, or reach out. I'll be busy, but I'll try to read it and respond if I can. 🧡❤️ Thanks for letting me stay in your space and feed for the past few years. 🐕🫂
I feel like I failed myself and my family and all of you guys. I was given 6 weeks to make a beautiful render of Mr and my close fur friends but all I can draw now is a picture of me crying like the mess I am.
I'm sorry if this is so rushed. I'm less than an hour before I lose access to my laptop
~ Mocha Furvie
(I am ashamed and feel pathetic for ranting about life like this. If you'd like to contact me on Telegram or Discord it's @ Furvie. If you can't find me. Feel free to comment your name and I'll try and find you when I can)
Thank you all for loving me, loving what I do. Supporting me financially, emotionally and mentally. The Furvie you know is (FOR NOW) gone. I wish to bring him back as soon as I get my life back in check. I owe it to you all and myself that I need to be back...Furvie needs to be back. ❤️ Theres still so much I want to do and share.
It's easy to feel helpless when you see a big pile of problems on your plate. Pick something, anything that you can improve, no matter how small or inconsequential, and do it. Then pick something else and repeat. The really big issues may be out of your hands, but at least you'll have something to point to as proof that you've improved your lot. I find that helps a lot.
It's easy to feel helpless when you see a big pile of problems on your plate. Pick something, anyth
IB is a bit broken atm so I can't see the pic but you have my well wishes. That's a lot to deal with at once while doing art at the same time, hope you can catch a break sooner rather than later.
IB is a bit broken atm so I can't see the pic but you have my well wishes. That's a lot to deal wit
It's not pathetic to vent like this. Even if you're going to be gone and we can't be there to support you directly, please know that our thoughts are with you right now, and we're hoping for your safety and wellness during this time.
I know what it feels like you have your world crashing around you, when you're not sure if what you've built will be there tomorrow and you're unsure about trying to build anything new. All I can say there is just to keep trying. Things change. People change. There reaches a point where even if you might not be your old self again, you can move forward to be someone new who can dust off that old spark and carry it forward.
Be careful out there.
It's not pathetic to vent like this. Even if you're going to be gone and we can't be there to suppor
Maybe a slightly different perspective: At least service gets you away from your upstairs neighbours.
Also, yeah get yelled at by the sergeants is not fun. But on the other, you'll be there with a whole lot of other people, and at least part of reason for the yelling is to get all you recruits to bond together. After all, if anything goes down, those will be the people you will be relying on to keep you alive - you need to be able to depend on them, and they will on you.
So yeah, it's stressful, and if I were in your position, I'd be stressed too. But on the other, this is a chance to reset your life, to gain new friendships, to learn new skills, and, likely, to also become more secure about your place in the world.
Maybe a slightly different perspective: At least service gets you away from your upstairs neighbours
Being in the service ain't so bad (ive consumed your art on many deployments). good luck, please feel better and I know you'll be okay. you're gonna have fun memories ahead of you. good luck and god speed.
Being in the service ain't so bad (ive consumed your art on many deployments). good luck, please fee
Do the best you can in the situation you have. I wish you the best of luck, military service while certainly anxiety inducing will at least get you away from those awful neighbors and give you something to work through - I only hope if your physical health is an issue they're smart enough to realize it, being conscripted means they should be taking care of their soldiers too! Remember: it ain't if you fall, but how you rise that says who you really are. You can get back to who you want to be.
Do the best you can in the situation you have. I wish you the best of luck, military service while c
