Seemingly calm as ever, Chen sat beside a row of sunflowers that grew along the edge of a ragged corn field. Their vibrantly yellow heads loomed far above his slouched form, pridefully gazing towards the sun that fostered their impressive growth. The one the wolf faced, though didn't. It's stalk was bowed slightly, the majestic head of the plant crooked to look down on the ground. It was a condescending plant, full of scorn and disappointment. And its rightful judgment weighed heavily on the proud canine.
"Don't give me that look," Chen groused, peering up at the tall flower, but couldn't hold its gaze for long. "It's not my fault he jumped..."
Idly the soft wind rustled the field's many flappy leaves. It was a soft touch on a lovely day like this. Serene and blithe.
"You can't blame me for his shortcomings! He's weak and... and..." Frustrated Chen clenched his jaw and exhaled, humbly looking down at his white paws. Whom was he trying to fool here?
The fox's words may have been hubristic, but they hit home. An alpha who accepts death, allows it to befall his pack, no matter which way, was a failure! He'd sworn it to the moon and failed most spectacular. Was he this blinded? Blinded by his diligence? He'd tried to provide for the pack, as a whole, at all cost. His efforts bore fruit, even. Though was the price too high?
"Have I failed you?"
The deigning plant was still. Unmoving.
"Have I failed him? Will I have to bear his gaze too?" he asked, looking down the rampant filed. Six, eight, twelve, sixteen plants before their bodies mixed together. Could there be this many bones in the ground? Who cared for them? Not Baochenmo. Bones in the ground were not his concern. His concern were those that still held flesh and walked under the moon. Those that followed his lead. To be fed and fend for. To live.
"I did my duty," he said. No one could argue that. "Selfless, if unappreciated most often. Was it not enough? Will you blame me for the path I walked?"
Unresponsive, the sunflower met his longing gaze and would return it for as long as the wolf could endure.
Before long, Chen averted his eyes. "What could I have done? What -should- I have done? I did what I thought was just and incumbent. Now, I fear, I was wrong... I realize I was wrong. But... what am I supposed to do now? What would you do?"
Though the intrepid plant held no solutions, only seeds to feed the world.
"TELL ME!"
For it was not the sunflower's place to answer.
Alone and at a loss, Chen stood. "I will have you know, this shameful realization will not debilitate me! I will find my way, without your guidance as I must. I didn't get this far, to see my pack dilapidate!" With his head held high, Chen left, though spared the unwavering flower one last glance. "If only I knew where to start..."
Sullenly about his inconclusive monologue, Chen's paws carried him back towards the river. The place was slightly less favorable than their actual daysite, though it had to do. The weather was in their favor, at least. Silently, despite his size, he climbed that flat hill he'd perched on before already. The spot gave him a sublime overview of his failure. The tumbling waterfall in the distance, the river's shore close by, a scenic place with Reszet's unmoving form in the middle.
The fox hadn't left his side, the fire still burning to keep the rescued wolf warm and alive. Chen had sparked the flame. He was the only one able, though the real hero was Turnipper. Indeed quite heroically he had run after the jumped wolf, down the hill, into the freezing current and wrest his unconscious body from the water, at the risk of his own safety.
Reszet had suffered injuries. From before and after the jump. Non-lethal, as far as Turnipper and Chen's knowledge went, but who could tell for sure, unless he woke up. Much to Chen's relieve, the fox had taken to mend their comrade's wounds. Even now he rested beside him, watched over him, shared the warmth of his body. This lesser creature did self- and effortlessly what Chen had been incapable of. He put him to shame again, and yet Chen was glad. His stubborn ego had been in the way of so much, benefited this appalling situation even. It must not stand in the way of Reszet's recovery, too!
Finally the fox's ears twitched as he noticed the ghostly observer in the distance. He turned, looked at the white wolf, but Chen remained unfazed, sitting on his hill like a rock. He had no right to go there. How duplicitous it would be to worry now! He would provide, as he always had. No, better than he had before. It was a start.
"Have you seen Toshi?" the fox asked, throwing a worried glance over his shoulder towards the gray wolf he'd left behind to talk to Chen. He didn't look asleep, he looked dead. But his heart beat and his lungs still drew breath. But he was also cold and didn't shiver.
Baochenmo said nothing. Since their scene, the red wolf had gone missing. Maybe it was best not to find him yet.
"He's still unconscious. It's been so long, I'm... I'm worried," Turnipper said, though once again didn't receive a response. "Can you please bring more wood for the fire?" Still no reaction. The white wolf merely rose and left with a straight face. "Your misplaced silence is no use to anyone, you know?!" he called after him.
Chen neither stopped, nor broke his silence. There was nothing to say. He merely did as he was asked and headed to fetch wood. He knew what pieces to collect. Brittle wood didn't burn well, green branches even worse. You had to pick those pieces without bark, tough to break, heavy, but not from water. Before the nigh fell and the hunt started, both his strong arms were packed with enough wood to last til dawn.
When Chen returned, the fox was still there, huddled up to Reszet, licking his wounds. It was an odd sight, wrong on so many levels. Yet his care was pure and sincere. Dearly needed too. Overdue. All Chen had to offer was the mass of dead wood he dropped by the fire.
"What?" Turnipper asked when he found the white wolf staring.
It took a moment, but eventually Baochenmo spoke. "Why do you care about him?" he asked coldly. "You're not his friend. You're not a wolf. You don't owe him. Why do you neglect your own hunt, go hungry, for his sake?"
Turnipper returned the wolf's blank stare with a twisted face, as if the question was an insult. "Because his own pack doesn't give a shit!"
Chen begged to differ, wouldn't, however, argue with a fox. Honoring the blunt answer, he turned to leave.
"Do you really care this little about him? Even now?" Turnipper asked stunned by this much indifference, in the light of Reszet's still critical state. Chen stopped for a moment, didn't say anything, though. "And you call yourself an alpha..."
"What does a fox know about being an alpha?"
"Not much. But possibly more than you do."
Contrary, Chen balled his fists. If his crooked sunflower had spoken, would those have been its words? Hard as stone and calm in his features, the white wolf turned to face the presumptuous fox. "Enlighten me."
Turnipper took a moment to prepare his argument, didn't falter under Chen's stare, though. He had to be strong now. Make a point. Not just for himself, but for Reszet too, and for the other two pigheads as well! "An alpha - any leader - has to be the backbone of their pack. Being smart, or stuck-up, or beefy alone doesn't do the trick! A leader must feel what his pack needs, has to hold its members together, protect them. The small and weak too - especially the small and weak!" Gently he rubbed his palm over Reszet's faintly heaving chest. He saw a lot of himself in that hurt wolf. "I've not been around for long, but I saw how you treated him, you and Toshi, too. He was so desperately trying to get your attention. Win your favor. He tried his best to fit in and show his worth, but somehow you managed to treat him even worse than you did me. And to top it off, you gave him the fault. Reszet is not the problem here! The way you, or Toshiba handle things, is not how you lead a pack. It's how you tear it apart!"
Tranquilly, Chen absorbed the fox's words, though didn't argue them. It was the first time for him not to hold his ground against someone who dared to infringe on his authority. His way of doing things led to this situation, after all. As the fox said, they almost tore the pack apart. Though, his way was the only way Chen knew. None other had made sense. "He does not need my validation and his worth in this pack is--"
"Don't!" Turnipper interrupted the stunned wolf. "If he doesn't need your validation, then don't presume to ascertain his worth. If this is truly how you see the things, then you know even less than I thought." The wolf snorted disapprovingly, and Turnipper realized that, despite his own frustration and anger, he had to lead by example and try to mend this ailing pack. "That, though, doesn't mean you can't do better!"
Hesitantly, Chen held the fox's pleading gaze. Why was it so hard to listen? Now of all times?! "Elaborate," he grated out with clenched jaws. If the flowers refused to share their wisdom with him, then maybe this runt could broaden his horizon, however doubtful that was. Though, if nothing else, this fox seemed to speak from heart. What harm could his opinion do?
"You're smart. Possibly the smartest here," he said, though didn't get much of a reaction from Chen. Of course he didn't. That wolf knew how very able he was! "I think I'm not overstating when I say that this pack functions, in great part, thanks to you. Toshi has the brawn, but you give his strength direction. Don't you agree?"
Chen nodded. He certainly was the leading force on their hunts. Without his knowledge and experience, the pack would have suffered a lot more hungry days than it did. Reszet was fast enough to catch small game on his own. And Toshiba managed to slay every thing dumb enough to charge on him. But Chen was the only true hunter here. He was the provider, skilled and efficient. That ought to make him the alpha.
"But why does this pack only functions, when it could be striving?!" Turnipper asked and swiftly provided the answer. "You're all so focused on doing what's best in your own opinion, that you completely forget to actually work together. Living together in a pack, or clan, or warren is not about filling your role. It's about using your strength to make up for another's weakness and admitting your own weakness so another can help you. You're strong when you're together, but you're the strongest when you work together!"
In thought, Chen's eyes lowered to the still, gray wolf in Turnipper's care. Working together? Helping each other? Wasn't this what they already were doing? Why was it so clear to a fox, but he couldn't make sense of it? And if the guidance he sought was but such a simple truth, why did he fail and let it come to this?
The fox flinched when Chen stepped closer, though he wasn't coming for Turnipper. Silently he leaned down and brought his muzzle to Reszet's shoulder and sniffed. No infection. Dried blood still clung to his undercoat, though. Toshiba hadn't bitten with the intention to kill, though sometimes he didn't realize his own strength. The wounds went deep and would take a while to heal.
"He's afraid of being bitten..." the wolf unveiled, not sure whether what he felt was pity, or repulsion. Wolves shouldn't be afraid of being bitten, they are the one doing the biting! Yet, when threatened by teeth, Reszet always knuckled under like a pup scared to death. He was even concerned about being bitten by prey!
"Hmp..." With a sullen face, Chen turned and left the two, without sparing Turnipper another glance. It was time to hunt. And he couldn't allow himself to slack, now that their chaser was out of action. He also had to ponder over a few things...
