Length: 1,177 words
When deadlines don’t have any sort of speed limit, those who must accelerate about their days only find themselves stuck in such a dull…drag…..of a deadlock. When everyone’s always gotta GO! GO! GO! amidst the blistering hustle and bustle of life, all has come to a grossly……and glaringly……..god awful…….grinding………halt. Yep…..it’s that time of day driving drivers mad, that time where tots won’t stop shouting “Are we there yet?” to parents likewise losing their patience, that time where all in sight is miles slower than molasses despite what its speedy signifiers suggest…..it’s rush hour.
Bound to buckled booster seats and sat in the stillest states amidst tons of this traffic, unable to put pink velcro shoes to proper use now that errand runs are all said and done, one would think a certain skunk whose poopy penchants are the only thing on par with her playfulness, a particular toddler tending to be in top gear, would be radically more restless than those with all the reason to be in a rush.
Zzzzzzzz…..zzzzzzzzz
But, when there’s only so many many times Emily can rowdily rock out to radio tunes before her body says it’s time to snooze, when such stagnant scenery means only so many games of I Spy to play with Mommy, perhaps it’s no surprise the little girl is instead resting her little eyes.
Zzzzzzzz…..zzzzzzzzz
Donning a diaper so snugly wrapped around her waist, with such sublime softness at every single inch of its sizable surface area while complemented by powder soft as clouds, whose pleasantly potent poofiness puts her posterior so perfectly at peace, makes the already comfy cushion of booster seats all the more comfortable, and so too do green shirts and skirts making the skunk not the least bit stuffy ensure she’ll sleep well.
Zzzzzzzz…..zzzzzzzzz
Even the completely crowded conditions well beyond the windows, even the freeway filled to the brim with multi-ton machines, help Emily have nothing but the nicest of naps. Her caregiver’s car….inching forward ever so slowly…..and moving all the slower to a stop…inching forward ever so slowly…and moving all the slower to a stop, all at speeds matching Emily’s age at most, provides the little skunk such a soothing sequence of back and forth motions, such a calming cadence akin to being rocked to sleep. The other cars caught in the congestion, whose engines can only softly hum with hardly anywhere to go, whose drivers have no reason to use the horns whose honks would keep the kid from conking out, provide her with white noise peacefully sustaining her slumber. Aaaah…..who knew rush hour could be so….relaxing?
Zzzzzzzz…..zzzzzzzzz
More than content to just coast when both mother and toddler have all the time in the world, when returning to home sweet home is the last thing left on her schedule, so too does Elizabeth wonder the exact same thing. As much as she loves to see her girl moving and grooving about, as much as her little one’s laughter has livened up this uneventful end to shopping trips, neither will the mother skunk deny it’s quite nice when peace and quiet don’t just come at night. And so, happy to see her daughter’s enjoying those same peaceful delights, happy to simply observe such a wholesome sight while having to hardly keep her eyes on the road, so long as it means Emily gets more shut-eye, Elizabeth figures it’s totally fine if rush hour goes well past its projected time.
“Nnn…nngh..”
PFFFFRT! BRAAAAAAAAAAP!
Uh oh! But now, with the skunk sound asleep suddenly making the squelchiest sounds, with the bushy tailed tot showing the tank’s not the only thing with much gas to spare, Elizabeth’s a lot more uncertain about wanting such a thought to come to pass.
“Mmmph….”
Well, at least one uncertainty is cast aside, right?
“Mmmmmph….”
Strained grunts sounding the alarms in Elizabeth’s head swiftly confirm her little fella’s flatulence isn’t a false alarm, and with big stink bombs bound to go off in seconds, sights once so wholesome will get a whole lot smellier.
“Oh dear…”she mutters under her breath.
“Mmmmmmmmph!”
While the resting tot’s the last one who needs reason to rush, even Emily’s got pressing matters now that messy matter is in the mix, and why shouldn’t the business of her boisterous bottom be anything but? When little kids like her gotta keep being proficient pamper packers, purging all that pressure is nothing but urgent! There’s no time to waste when it comes to making waste! This girl’s gotta, and she’s gonna, go poopy!
PLOP! PLOP! PLOP! PLOP! PLOP! PBLOOOOOOORMPH!!!
Letting out many mounds and masses of mess, giving herself something bigger and lumpier to sit on as she continues to grunt, even when Emily’s way up in the world of dreams, she doesn’t hesitate to dump all that’s down below into her diaper, so dedicated to doing what skunks do best that’d it be no shock if she’s loading her diaper in dreamland too.
“Yep, she’s making a big one…again.” Elizabeth says while she watches Emily continue to empty herself.
Like the shifting of Emily’s bowels, the mother skunk’s thoughts of sustained stays in the car shift out of a full 180 now that freeways aren’t the only thing that’s full. Three years of changing diapers dirtied with more deposits by the day has gotten her well adjusted to smells worse than dumpsters, but with such a big stinky contained in such a small and compact space, where that acrid air has few avenues of escape, not even the most consistent conditioning can make her deny the dumpy deluge her daughter just made in her diaper smells undeniably…….disgustingly….downright….. awful.
“Oof….sweetheart. That really stinks.”
WHIIIIIIR!
Rolling down the windows minutely masks vile stenches with ventilation, though she’s well aware that won’t completely clear things up since changing Emily’s diaper is totally out the window, that even if she wanted to make the bold choice of taking the toddler to the trunk and forcing those in the freeway to get a whiff of pampers profusely packed with poo poo, traffic that’s now become bumper to bumper has only brought more bumps in the road. But, even so, even with the utter lack of a rush amidst rush hour making every second radically more repulsive than the last, as both skunks now sport soft smiles, Elizabeth knows better than to assume Emily knows better.
“Mmmmm….”
So cutely and acutely unaware of the consequences she’s brought upon her caregiver, purely stinking up the car out of characteristically carefree instinct, simply doing the number twos second nature to every boy and girl who’ve been in diapers their whole little life, solely a soothed sigh is Emily’s response to her rancid release as resounding relief and warmer self-made seats draw her deeper into well-deserved sleep.
Zzzzzzzz…..zzzzzzzzz
Ah, those little kids, even unconsciously, will continue to be a messy bunch. Their parents, even more unconsciously, will always love them a whole bunch.
End
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