Hello, yes the speaker here is gcat, I imagine that some of you have had questions about everything that happened and what will happen from now on. So I'm going to try to clarify everything in 2 separate journals, this being the first one about the past and the second one about the future of gcat which I will post in a few days.
Many years ago when I was younger doing pencil drawings on and paper, I started to have contact with digital arts around 2004 and like a curious, hyperactive young man, I came across the classic pages of erotic Toons. These pages collected several random images from the internet without the necessary permissions from the authors. Yes, these are the same ones with several clickable 1:1 frames that redirected to another entirely different domain for more random images, never letting you see the full image ( Not at all suspicious, am I right? ) Years later I discovered more organized pages focused on erotic illustrations. And so discovering the world of erotic illustrations of all my favorite characters such as the classics: Rule34, booru sites, E621, and finally Inkbunny by recommendation, a webpage that i have always considered to be the most organized of them all to date.
Initially as a consumer, my dissatisfaction grew as I saw all the artistic decisions made in the various illustrations I came across, but at the same time they gave me more and more inspiration to create my own. And so the desire to learn digital illustrations was born. After a lot of pain and suffering using just a mouse and keyboard I felt I was ready for my first uploads, publishing a sequence of images called “A Chipmunks Full Insomnia” on the e621 at first and later on Inkbunny, where Theo had 2 Penises for a funny plot twist. (Don't ask me why! I also have no idea what was going through my head XD)
Interestingly, this comic was inspired by the work “Chipmunk Sleepover Party” by “bigdaddy”, a true classic for fans of nsfw chipmunks. Unfortunately, the sequence was discontinued due to my lack of skills with digital illustrations, which limited the number of pages even after weeks of work. And on the other hand, it was much more pleasurable for my ADHD brain to create random illustrations based on the random weekly desires that came to mind than to kill my poor brain with Boredom for weeks.
After a few years of slow and painful mouse made illustrations, I acquired my first iPad with a lot of effort and it was then that I began to learn to draw with more ease and confidence by using my pencil skills. And with it came all my classic artworks that everyone still knows today. Some time passed, more knowledge was acquired and I started selling my illustrations by a dime a dozen and slowly raising the prices but it never reached a value that I could pay my bills, due to lack of confidence and fear of scaring away customers through prices, making my work just a monetized hobby.
My family, of course, never knew any of this and there will never be a reason for them to know. And for those who have a contrary and romanticized view, I recommend, don't do it. Keep your internet passions on the internet. This may even bring you momentary relief but it will not make your life better with them. And even if the idea is only to partially tell that you are making money with erotic illustrations, the chances of a very bad impact on your social life are very high. Due to their lack of knowledge and ignorance on the subject, they will have all kinds of wrong thoughts and opinions about you over time. And you don't want your family members to move away from you because some of them heard from other relatives that you are a pervert, with the risk of even losing your job. If you feel unhappy working with this, telling your family is not the solution. And for that you have friends and people you trust to open up to.
And here we are in Gcat’s last years, where I had a base of spectators, advanced skills, great friends and a whole future ahead of me. I had made a specific friend who really wanted to learn from me and I decided to teach him what I knew. Until one day I had the idea of sharing my space to help him gain views faster where he published his arts on my page along with some collabs we made. Each piece with its appropriate signatures.
But something was bringing me down and I didn't know what it was, maybe it was my ADHD making my work 3x hard, or my lack of appreciation about my work that kept me stuck with “utility bills”, or the frequent burnouts. But obviously it was all these things together.
My mood and tolerance became very sensitive and I felt like I needed to stop and understand what was going on with me and maybe back one day. I felt like I was no longer connected with any nsfw platform, seeing so many negative and dirty things stealing the erotic space. I can understand how so much dark and negative stuff ends up arriving and accumulating on these pages. The erotic space reserves a freedom that is difficult to find elsewhere. And not only does this make you tired and disgusted, but anyone else coming to these pages for the first time ends up having a vision of hell itself, carrying with them a terrible perception of what they are seeing is erotic or not, especially if you are young unsupervised.
Let's just hope that all of this will be very well separated and hidden on the erotic art pages in the future instead of in their homepages. Sex is not death, sex is not pain, abuse, gore, depression and all the hellhole that these people's lives have been. Sex always needs to be love, pleasure, orgasms, smiles, in pleasant places with happy characters. We touch on dark subjects sometimes as part of a script but they cannot become your trigger of pleasure.
And that was when I decided to abandon everything, and without giving a damn, with no warning I just stopped publishing in gcat, handing over the page to my partner “HTHFP” to continue in my place. A few years passed and that was when I noticed a problem that bothered me and that I couldn't leave as it was. And this is where we're going to talk about scat chipmunks. Something I never knew about my partner was his fascination with scat, making his new uploads focus on the chipmunk scat theme. As disgusting as this was to me, this wasn't the problem I had with him, I understand everyone has their weird side, even me, but the fact that he had been posting these arts pretending to be me for a while, Posting artworks apparently without signature and confused spectators. This was by far what I didn't imagine the use and future of gcat. He also had a personal page as a secondary page. And after not speaking with him for a while I contacted him demanding the “No signature” fix to the problem, and later i noticed that all the other Inkbunny arts repost sites were reposting the scat pieces under the gcat name and I just decided that he would no longer own gcat. We had a disagreement about this and my final decision was to shutting down gcat page as I no longer had anything to do with it for my selft, And I didn’t want him Related to gcat anymore.
My partner continued his pots on his personal account and he disappeared almost 2 years ago. I just wish that he is well wherever he is.
And my life continued away from nsfw for a long time.
I hope this can help some of you in some way. As I explained at the beginning, I will be writing a the second journal about Gcat’s return and future. If this short biography was in any way inspiring for any of you, please feel free to comment and tell what you think and tell your own journey here. I will read each one of them very carefully.
I wish you all a wonderful week 🥰 See you all in the next journal 👈
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10 months, 2 weeks ago
13 Jan 2024 19:20 CET
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