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All Board Pieces Are Animals - White
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Meowmere
Meowmere's Gallery (628)

All Board Pieces Are Animals - Black

God is Good

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All Board Pieces Are Animals - White
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Last in pool
All Board Pieces Are Animals - White
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God is Good
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EDIT: Put the hot babe in the thumbnail, because you dorks won't click on anything that doesn't have tits in it.

For the black pieces we have frightening men and mischievous girls.
I liked the idea of the black king being the only one without a weapon. He kills you with his slithering wit.

USER INTERACTION:
Let me know which pieces you like better and what you would like them all to do to each other.
Bonus points for chess puns (e.g. back-rank mate, fork etc.)

If the white queen isn't more popular than the black, she will behead all of you.

Keywords
male 1,188,519, female 1,078,254, wolf 192,480, dog 171,175, horse 59,096, lizard 24,272, kobold 11,873, armor 9,248, weasel 6,334, king 4,376, knife 3,451, queen 3,280, spear 1,684, axe 1,399, chess 201, rook 124, pickaxe 107, bishop 85, pawn 49, dobberman 45
Details
Type: Picture/Pinup
Published: 1 year, 9 months ago
Rating: General

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Balmung
1 year, 9 months ago
Is the rose fox a reference to Kurama?
Meowmere
1 year, 9 months ago
Is that some sort of k-pop star? Sorry, I don't watch mangos or read animoos.
Balmung
1 year, 9 months ago
This guy from an old an influential anime: https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/vsbattles/images/f/f4...

Also has a foxy shape.

Meowmere
1 year, 9 months ago
If anything, it was a reference to Lee from Tekken. But maybe Lee was derived from this guy.
Balmung
1 year, 9 months ago
Ok, piece ideas:

Bishop sticks that very long blade of his right into the queen's vagina. He's being a very bad bishop ;)

Pawn turns around, and uses the pickaxe to murder the enemy pawn that was trying to run past it (en passant)

Bishop slowly tears the clothes off a female trembling pawn that's pinned to her king

Two rooks followed by a queen hold a cannon all together (Alekhine's gun)

Meowmere
1 year, 9 months ago
Something told me you'd be a fan of the bishop and his crooked blade. I imagine he's the sort of guy whose jaw unhinges to swallow pawns whole.
The en passant idea is creative. Not many know about the rule, and sneaky kobolds would love to catch someone in the back.

Interestingly, if a bishop pins a pawn AND is close enough to undress it, the pawn can usually just take the bishop back.
Balmung
1 year, 9 months ago
"
Interestingly, if a bishop pins a pawn AND is close enough to undress it, the pawn can usually just take the bishop back.


That's a good point, although the bishop can just be far away enough. But yes, this is mostly because the bishop has a cool design, and the pawns are cute. Maybe swap the bishop for a rook then.
Meowmere
1 year, 9 months ago
We can engineer our way into a situation where it would make sense.
The pawn could be double pinned like so:
https://www.screencast.com/t/CW7oDp15xcM
Balmung
1 year, 9 months ago
I'm trying to minimize the amount of characters on the assumption that you'd draw some of this, but sure :)
Meowmere
1 year, 9 months ago
Maybe I will, maybe I won't.
For now, I just like talking about sexual interpretations of chess.
Balmung
1 year, 9 months ago
Okay then! How about:

Castling: King crawls under the rook's legs. King looks sheepish, rook is very pleased.

Capture: Queen leads a pawn on a leash to the dungeon.

Colorbound: Bunch of pawns tease a wrong color bishop by showing their butts

Back-rank mate: Rook gets the king in the butt, while 3 pawns stand with their backs turned to the scene
Meowmere
1 year, 9 months ago
Back-rank mate meaning "butt-fucked" is a super obvious choice, which would likely be first in line for a drawing. Pawns being fodder for the poisonous black queen as well.

I am myself quite partial to the idea of various "queen blunders" on the white side being analogous to her cuckolding the king.
ProfesseurRenard
1 year, 9 months ago
The black pawns are cute femboys as well, though not as cute as the white pawns. And the white queen definitely seems more regal than the black queen.

As to suggestions, perhaps the knight takes hold of one of the rooks, having gotten him on the bad end of a fork with his queen.
Or perhaps the rook takes an unfortunate knight’s head, the bishop in front of the knight having left him in a skewer.
Meowmere
1 year, 9 months ago
The kobolds were intended to be girls, but of course, we can't be sure none of them have any surprises under the dresses.

Knight forks are my own primary interest, because horses. The old drawings were of the white queen taken by knights, from a king-queen fork.
The skewer is also just a delicious word with a whole lot of unsanitary implications. I like the idea of the white bishop being "cowardly" and stepping out of the way of an attacking piece, to leave the piece behind unguarded.
ProfesseurRenard
1 year, 9 months ago
My mistake.

If I’m not barred from any further suggestions, scenario #3 could be a bishop knocking out a hapless pawn while a rook digs a tunnel underneath the knight the pawn had been protecting (a fairly literal case of ‘undermining’, aka removing the guard). Scenario #4 could be a rook moving to knock out a bishop and, in the process, allowing his queen a clear shot at the enemy king (discover check). And scenario #5 could be a knight and a bishop ganging up on the king (double check- up to you if it’s also mate).
Meowmere
1 year, 9 months ago
No mistake, there's always room for your own imagination.
It would be a shame for me to "bar" someone from making suggestions, when I'm encouraging idle talk. I can't promise I'll draw any of it whatsoever, but I'm interested in knowing if the "chess metaphors" are completely lost on my watchers. Getting too convoluted risks leaving a lot of people behind, which is already a risk when talking chess, even though chess is at its peak popularity of all time.

Double checks are a good idea. I could probably imagine a scenario where the black king is all "oh, you got me", and then he's not gotten at all. I know I have had situations in chess games, where I thought I'd cornered the king, but cleanly forgot that the king is capable of taking pieces as well..
Blackraven2
1 year, 9 months ago
is that a dagger behind his back?
Meowmere
1 year, 9 months ago
The king? I think you're overinterpreting the shading.
Blackraven2
1 year, 9 months ago
Well, we know the king can defeat other figures at close range -- so if he doesn't have a dagger, I assume the roses thorns must be poisoned >:>>>
Meowmere
1 year, 9 months ago
Close. It's weaponized syphilis, actually.
Blackraven2
1 year, 9 months ago
What does that tell us of the black queen? ;)
Meowmere
1 year, 9 months ago
Oh, she also has syphillis. Mega syphilis. Sleeping with her is certain death. But you're still going to do it anyway. Like drinking sea water when shipwrecked.
Blackraven2
1 year, 9 months ago
Must be itchy all the time ;)
Karmandel
1 year, 9 months ago
All the black pieces obviously vote for the black queen in the popularity contest. So do the white pieces, including that promoted pawn, and even the king. (And two panda sisters who should really shut up and stop kibitzing if they know what's good for them).

Hmm, if one side wins after promoting to queen, but the original queen is still on the board, which of them gets to go home with the king?
Meowmere
1 year, 9 months ago
Oh well, prepare to get beheaded.
Wait, you guys like getting beheaded. No beheadings then. Instead, you will be forcefed old milk.

I believe in early versions of chess, the queen was instead the king's "right hand" or "first knight", making the promotion metaphor make more sense. The absurd meta-context of the king potentially having nine wives, most of which are cross-dressing soldiers, is part of what got me thinking of the untapped potential in visual storytelling. Probably the first thing I'm planning to draw is the white king being too mentally impaired to tell his own queen apart from a promoted mouse pawn.
Blackraven2
1 year, 9 months ago
maybe the pawns are actually the harem girls drafted into service? or they are just sent ahead to distract the opposing force.
Meowmere
1 year, 9 months ago
Might be accurate for the kobolds, if not in real life. Looking at the black king, that is a man happy about his lizard harem.
Blackraven2
1 year, 9 months ago
and, as everyone knows, lizards are immune to syphilis ;) - I think they can still transfer it though ;)
Karmandel
1 year, 8 months ago
Yuck. That's one evil queen.

And it's not as if we don't know what "first knight" means. Guinevere was just window dressing, Arthur got cross at Lancelot because of that stable boy.
DaelintheStoryteller
7 months, 2 weeks ago
I'll click on anything you post, honestly
Meowmere
7 months, 2 weeks ago
That's mighty kind off you <3
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