“Hey lady, you can’t set up shop here. Go someplace else,” Manzo said with a smirk as he stood with his hands on his hips.
Yes, this was Manzo Varma, chief enforcer of Arryn’s Beater Battalion. There was nothing to look into regarding that at the moment. All you need to know right now is that business was currently about to get underway and this spot was a good place to set up shop.
Arryn was in middle school and he needed a place that intersected between that and the elementary school to do his business properly. Right here, on this particular street corner, was one of those areas.
There were plenty of locations Arryn could go to do this business. He was usually found mostly at the park for example. Why would he even need this particular place? He doesn’t. Not really.
It was the principle of the thing.
Arryn used this spot once before and seeing someone else in this spot was a no go. Manzo sometimes took his job as the enforcer a bit too seriously. He was more so Arryn’s friend and could sometimes get a little cross with him, himself. He made Arryn pay up when he spent a ton of money on prank items to trap and defeat a kid that was ironically succeeding at bullying him. It didn’t work but Manzo still collected back that money, for sure.
At the moment, he wanted to take this as seriously as he could and that required this girl to move.
It was flimsy logic and it made no sense. That’s why Juneberry, the fortune teller who set up shop here, refused to budge.
“Sorry, nope-can-do my friendo comprendo!” Juneberry snickered, drumming her fingers on the desk. “I’m offering a service to the Gods by staying here and giving fortunes to those who pass by my stall. It’s a power that I discovered I had yesterday and 20 minutes ago decided to share with the world. You can’t underestimate the hard work that goes into formulating something like this buster! So scram! I have people to see and magic to spook the neighbors with!”
Manzo sputtered his lips. Now he’s heard everything.
“A service to the Gods? Fortune telling? Oh please,” Manzo leaned forward. “You’re trying to scam people with your fake nonsense. Don’t try and act all high and mighty here lady. My friends and I offer legitimate help to the people we serve on the block.”
Juneberry made a playful pout of the lips and cracked her knuckles. “Okay then. Try me,” She challenged. “I can assure you it’s not a scam. I don’t intend to take anyone’s money. This is all pro-bono. Please, young lad, allow me to show you what I can do–!”
Her expression looked rather dark despite the smile on her face. The curtain behind her seemed to only punctuate her manner of dress too. Manzo didn’t catch on before how creepy this all looked.
He fought off the intimidation and leered directly at her.
Juneberry giggled as she held up a large crystal ball. It gleamed and shined a brilliant and violent looking red-violet light. “I can see your future…!”
Indeed. A vision came onto the crystal ball as Manzo looked closely into it.
It was an image of him, doing the potty dance in place. He was completely desperate and was holding his hands at the front of his Star Wars briefs like his bladder was about to–!
“Burst!” Juneberry chanted.
“Gah! What?” Manzo flinched, sweat drenching his face suddenly. He unconsciously felt his knees knock and his legs press together. “Why’d you shout that all of a sudden?”
“It’s the word I associate with this particular fortune,” Juneberry snickered. “In your future, you will need to use the bathroom vigorously and with reckless abandon. However, you cannot. For if you succumb to your desire to relieve yourself… you will DIE!”
Manzo blinked and stared at her.
He then scrunched up his face and began laughing.
“Aha-! Yeah, sure. Right. Thanks for that miss,” The boy rolled his eyes. “That was seriously the best you could come up with? Talk about juvenile.”
Manzo then winced.
Listening to that nonsense made him need to pee, actually.
“Speaking of relieving myself, I’ve got to go,” Manzo turned to walk off, grumbling at how desperate he felt all of a sudden. “I’ll let you off for now, Mrs. Fortune Cookie.”
“That’s MS. Fortune Cookie to you!” Juneberry shouted after him. “I ain’t married yet!”
As Manzo disappeared into the distance, Juneberry felt a smile creep back onto her face. “The boy was forewarned. Now I sit back and enjoy the show…” She said, holding up her crystal ball again.
—
Manzo made his way to a nearby bathroom inside a restaurant. He was on his way to the stall when he stopped in mid-stride and pondered what he was about to do for a second.
“Hmm… I mean… relieving myself leading to my death? That doesn’t even make any sense. Why would she even say that?” Manzo shrugged and unzipped his shorts at the urinal.
He then stopped again and felt his face drench with more sweat.
“But… I did suddenly need to pee out of nowhere when she said that. M-Maybe something happened to me when she told me my fortune? But that’s dumb! Fortune telling is fake as frick!” Manzo denied it again.
He was lowering his shorts a bit more when he stopped.
“Wait… that vision in the crystal ball… that was me in my Star Wars briefs…” Manzo then looked down and saw the same pair of underwear staring back at him. “GYAH!”
Manzo shrieked and doubled back, letting his shorts flop to the floor as he stumbled out of them.
He bumped into a big burly guy behind him and stepped on his foot on accident.
Manzo turned to look up at the angry person and grinned sheepishly. “H-Hey there… you wanna go first?”
Manzo was literally kicked in the butt so hard it left an imprint in his undies. He soared out the window and landed face first into a garbage can, legs and underwear clad butt sticking out of it.
He felt his bladder shake a bit.
The pain wanted for him to pee himself but he grabbed at his crotch and shuffled about in desperation.
With wobbling that would make a bowl of jello blush, he fell out of the trash can and rolled onto his butt, hands clamped over his crotch.
He then jumped to his feet and danced in place, looking around with his hands covering himself.
“This… this isn’t right! This can’t happen to me! This doesn’t even make any sense!” Manzo said to himself. Anything to say to convince himself of the ridiculous nature of that phony fortune was coming out of his mouth right now.
He stomped his feet down and tried to spread his legs.
He needed to calm down. He wasn’t that desperate for the potty. He wouldn’t pee himself here and he wouldn’t use the bathroom… yet.
“Ugh! That’s another thing! Everybody has to use the bathroom at some point! I literally can’t not do it eventually! There’s gotta be some other angle to this then!” Manzo said. “Or it IS hogwash! It’s dumb! It’s–!”
Manzo felt his bladder ache again and a shiver went down his spine.
His desperate potty dance turned into a hip swivel and a tiny bit of a booty shake.
“She got the underwear I was wearing right. She also got that I’d lose my pants… wait…!” Manzo blinked and looked down at himself.
He was standing outside in just his underwear!
“YEEEEEEK! I’M IN MY UNDERWEAR!” He shouted before clamping his hands over his mouth and looking back and forth.
His knees remained knocking against each other as fear took hold. The embarrassment did too.
Fear and embarrassment combined was not good for an aching bladder. He had to calm down.
Come on Manzo, chill!
What is she wrong about that he could still use to his advantage to prove it was a bunch of bologna?
He then remembered the image in her crystal ball.
He was wearing his socks in that image but right now…!
Manzo looked down and smiled contently. “Haha! I have my shoes on! That means it hasn’t fully reached what she saw in her vision yet! I still win!”
Manzo giggled and began tap dancing in his shoes like a moron. The tap-dancing boy in his underwear in public definitely looked like the spitting image of a real winner alright.
He then felt another heavy jolt in his bladder and a shiver went throughout the entirety of his body. He almost couldn’t stand that last one.
He swiveled about like a snake and stumbled forward with just his legs pressed together, remembering the position he was in on the crystal ball. He officially had to keep his hands away from his crotch.
Also, if he found some pants, he’d be able to shame that image to bits! It just wouldn’t happen!
Manzo rounded the corner of the back of the store and gulped upon seeing the crowd of people in the area.
“Okay… just gotta sneak past them all and find some pants… then I’ll be home free!” Manzo muttered and began shifting between the bushes.
He hid behind tree after tree and eventually came across a large pole. He saw that there was a clothing store across the street and licked his lips with anticipation.
This place was crowded and he was stuck in broad daylight so there was no proper way to sneak on over.
Instead, he was going to bolt his way there.
Yeah. He had a bit of a run on the track team. He could make it there and buy some pants…
Oh wait. No. His wallet was in his discarded pants. Guess he’d have to just steal them.
“Well, whatever. It’s a matter of life or death.” Manzo said. “I mean, no it isn’t! Because that fortune isn’t real… it’s just… better to be safe than sorry.”
That still sounded like he was giving that crazy girl too much credit but by this point he was determined to not humiliate himself any further.
Manzo waited for the opportune time and then when the walkway across the street was clear he shot like a dart as fast as he could over towards the clothing store.
“Come on…! COME ON!” Manzo shouted.
His shoelaces had come undone thanks to how fast and frantically he was moving. It didn’t matter soon though.
He reached the other side and yelped with excitement and a double fist pump at the air… before slipping on a puddle by the nearby fire hydrant and flinging upward.
Manzo’s eyes widened as he was in mid-air suddenly.
His shoes flung off his feet and bounced against the window of the store.
Then he landed… right on his crotch against the fire hydrant.
Manzo’s eyes crossed and his lips pursed like he just got done sucking on a lemon!
“YEEEEOWWWWWWCHHIEEEEE!” Manzo screamed and jumped in mid-air again.
He couldn’t help it! His balls were crying and his bladder hurt so bad! He had to clamp his hands over them!
Manzo landed on his feet and began hopping about in place, his shoes gone and in that exact position he was when he saw his image on the crystal ball.
He couldn’t take this anymore! He had to pee!
He had to risk it! He needed to go POTTY!
Manzo jumped towards the store but it was closed on him before he could go inside. He was momentarily confused before the store owner pointed to the sign on the door.
No shirt. No shoes. No service.
Great. But if he was just pantsless it’d be fine?
Where did his shoes even go?!
Another bladder ache happened!
“GAAAGH!” Manzo whined and turned around, hopping from foot to foot.
“HOLD IT! HOLD IT! HOLD IT! HOLD IT!
HOOLLLLLLLDDDD IIIIIIIIT!”
BURST!
Manzo’s eyes got wide and his pupils shrunk.
That word she said.
Burst.
That was part of the prediction.
He understood all too late.
His bladder just burst.
Manzo wet himself in front of everyone in the public square. Then his eyes rolled up and he flopped to the ground with his wet butt sticking up, unmoving.
—
Back at her booth, Juneberry giggled to herself, witnessing Manzo’s fall and rolling the crystal ball around on her hand.
“Told ya,” She mused. “If you go pee, you’ll die.”
It was true. You had to use the bathroom to live and he probably could have done it and lived just fine. But he had to hold it until he burst.
Of course, a result like that was quite over the top. One had to wonder if it would have been as powerful had she not said the magic word ‘burst’.
With a leer straightforward and her chin resting in her hands, a shadowy look came across her face before asking seemingly no one in particular, “So, would you like for me to read your fortune?”
---
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