Ferros' Report - Log #2

ferrosreport02hd.mp3

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by BuddyTippet

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Nuke was played by

Nuke

The script is posted below!

Keep in mind that I, Buddy Tippet, also am an author of some very dirty books published on Amazon in paperback and Kindle.

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Enjoy the show!

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[Science lab ambi]

Ferros: Greetings! This is Ferros. I'm reporting from the evil lair of the evil radioactive tanuki known as Nuke. This is log numblaberbalolll. <Spiiiit> Ah! Sorry! I invented a type of bubble gum that is supposed to make me smarter... but instead it just occasionally makes my entire face go numb. [Pause] It's a work in progress-ablabla.

[Lip smack spit]

Nuke's been telling me that I need to work smarter not harder. It's weird because I figured I was already pretty smart. Although the Death Ray is still in the works. Yeah, it doesn't really look like a toaster oven anymore. Hey, did you know most Death Rays start off as toaster ovens?! They even make pretty good toast until you install the orphan hearts.

Oh, right. That's a new trick suggested to me by Nuke. He doesn't know anything about science. He believes in old fashioned medieval things like magic wands, glowing orbs, and making heads explode by lookin' at ya kinda funny. [Uncomfortable] I don't like that last one.

I keep trying to help him get up to date, but he just sort of stares at me when I try. Like really hard. It makes me nervous. I was like, "It's a freeze ray!"

And then he says, [Mimic Nuke] "What does it do, you pathetic worm?"

And then I say, "It freezes things! Wanna try it out?"

And then he takes it out of my hands and shoves it into my mouth. And he says, [Mimic Nuke] "Like this?"

[Pause and then tiny voice] Zap!

[Pause]

Complete and total internal frostbite death is a hell of a thing. But I mean... I get it. He's just not interested in learning about technology. He just wants me to explore and grow as the evil ferret henchman that I am. He's so wonderful.

Oh! Oh! Here he comes now to show me his new magic sledge hammer! Hey, master! I was just recording about how awesome youWAAAHHHHH AHH AHHH! [Screams of pain and death]

[Bones crunching and breaking]

Nuke: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT ONE JUSTIN BEIBER POSTER IS TOO MANY, YOU FUCKING TRASH-NOODLE! IF I EVER SEE EVEN THE SLIGHTEST SLIVER OF HIM EVER AGAIN, I'LL SENTENCE YOU TO AN ENDLESS LOOP OF PAIN AND MISERY WITHIN THE QUANTUM DEADSPHERE OF HATE, UNTIL I HAVE NEED OF YOU AGAIN!

Ferros: <Just random death sounds that lead into googly noises and spitting>

[BEEP BEEP BEEP. End.]

Keywords

male 1,171,463, fat 38,833, ferret 10,301, furries 8,226, tanuki 8,202, drama 4,530, evil 4,452, violence 4,301, destruction 2,636, sound 2,432, murder 1,848, villain 1,839, audio 1,806, it 1,606, voice 910, did 666, immortal 394, crunch 173, bodily 67, henchman 32

Details

Type: Music - Single Track

Published: 2 years, 3 months ago

Rating: Mature

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