n.n ~ <3 ...I wanna just gush for a minuet, and say that ever since I joined the Fandom, Megan has been one of the few Kindest, Sweetest, Patient, Understanding and Caring people I have ever met n_n <3 . She is a friend you could spend your whole life searching for and never find. I'm truly and lucky to count her amongst my friends n_n <3 .
Now that alone makes these Pics Special. But what made these Pics Extra Special, is that they arrived at points in my life when I was at my lowest. When I was feeling run down, beat up, pushed to the brink of insanity and beyond every limit I have. I literally just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I thought about harming myself and others, about just saying "Fuck it" and just swing at the next person that pissed me off...Then the first picture came.
It's a simple Pic, some would even call it crude, with a simple subject matter. Two friends shearing a warm embrace, nothing around them, just the world tuned out for a few simple moments. It's a simple picture, yes, but with a simple message to convey. "I'm here. I care. I give a damn."
Y'all...I broke that day...something inside me snapped and I just broke down crying. I cried for what felt like an hour, at least...when I was done, I felt better then I had in a damn long time. After I pulled myself back together, I'm promptly thanked Megan for the wonderful gift n_n <3 . There aren't enough words in the world to express my thanks though for the real gift Megan gave me that day, and quite possibly saving me n_n <3 ...
Now, things got better, for awhile anyway. Until about two weeks ago. Some of you reading this have seen me ranting and raving about this, but lately, my jobs become a Hell to work at -_- . Increased work days with fewer days off, Overworked with no Significant Pay Increase, no Benefits of any kind, rapid changes in store policy with threats of being fired for noncompliance and customers so Brainless you wonder how the hell then even got up that morning -_- .I'm starting to feel like the Beaches of Normandy at this point -_- .
But I digress. What really set me off was what happened two weeks ago. One of my coworkers, a woman I absolutely Loved working with because such a bubbly personality that could just light up a room, suddenly passed away -_- . How sudden you ask? I worked with her on Wednesday, had Thursday off, came in Friday morning, found out she had died Wednesday Night sometime -_- ...Since then, the mood around work has been very Somber, and Management is of course scrambling to reassign her hours and trying to fill her spot.
Loosing my friend was bad enough, but her death also got me thinking. She died stuck at this job. a Job we all hate and despise, and she wasn't much older then I am...13 years now...I've wasted 13 years of my life so far as a retail worker, making money for other people and making they're dreams come true, while mine just sit on the sidelines and I struggle to figure out how I'm gonna make it to next week and my next pay check...
Needless to say, that feeling of wanting to crawl into a Hole came back...not quite as bad as the last time, but still there. A few days later, so did the second pic that Megan gifted me.I don't know how she knew, maby she's part Angle, or maby it's the ears XD n_n . Either way, she just knew I needed a pick me up.
The Pic this time was a lovely sketch of my Cat/Wolf Hybrid Witch Girl Vikie. It made me smile, because it reminded me of my friend n_n . Much like her, Vikie is a Character full of Life,Bubbly Energy, with an easy smile and a desire to just help people and make em happy. It made me stop and think, are the people you care about really ever truly gone as long as they're memory lives on in your heart? No,indeed they are not n_n . My friend is gone, yes, but her spirit lives on n_n .
Out of these events, I've learned a couple of things. Life is too short to live the way everyone else wants you to. To that end, I've started practicing more in SAI and Gimp, slowly relearning things I'd forgotten and learning new things. In about August, they're going to be offering a Graphic Design class at the local college. I'm gonna do my best to get in and get a degree, so I can finally start doing something i want to do, and do something meaningful.
The other thing I've learned is that Friends. True, Honest to God Friends are worth more then any Treasure on this planet. They listen to your problems, offer wise advice, and when all else fails, they give you a Big Hug and reassure you that things are going to be all alright n_n <3 .
Lastly, no matter how small of insignificant it might seem, a small gesture can mean the world to someone, even to the point of turning and beating back the encroaching Darkness that we all face at some point. Be as kind as you can to people, because you never know what a kind gesture might accomplish n_n .
Ok, that's all I wanted to say, so I guess i better wrap this up. If you've read this far. God Bless you and have an amazing day n_n . And remember. No matter what your going through, there are peopl ot there who care and give a damn. Talk to them n_n <3 !
*Hugs tight* I'm so, so glad the pictures were such a help. I knew, from what you'd posted in your journals, that you were having a pretty rough time, but I didn't know it was so awful for you, and I'm so very sorry about that. Especially for losing your friend. Though I'm glad you got to know her and that she had you as a friend. She was lucky in that regard, at least. But mostly I'm glad that I could help, and that you're going to apply for that course in August. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you to get in, and that it can help you turn things around! You are a wonderful, sweet, loving, kind person and you deserve to be able to live the life you want to live and to be happy and valued by those around you. And while I haven't gone through anything like what you have, your friendship and your kindness has meant so much to me, especially over the last couple of years, so thank you so, so much for that!
No matter what the future brings, always remember that you are loved.
*Hugs tight* I'm so, so glad the pictures were such a help. I knew, from what you'd posted in your j
*Hugs tight back* I do know that, especially now, but sometimes it's hard to see and remember. Every time I look at thesecpics though, I'm gonna remember that n_n <3 .
Than you Megan n_n <3 . Than you so much, for everything <3 ! But most of all, Thank you so much for being your wonderful self n_n ~ <3 ...I'm do glad to have met you, Grace, Dar and all my other wonderful frineds n_n <3 ...God Bless you all n_n <3 .
*Hugs tight back* I do know that, especially now, but sometimes it's hard to see and remember. Every
life and mental health is truly a struggle, for some even more so than others. That's why we all need friends and loved ones we know we can fall back on in our times of need (and return the favor if/when the time comes). I'm so sorry you've struggled so much, and you definitely don't deserve to feel pain like that. You're awesome, and clearly very loved by many! *hugs* I really hope things work out for you, and that you're able to get into that course! I'm rooting for you <3 (and also yes, Megan and Grace are by far two of my favorite people in the entire community <3 when the furry world takeover happens my vote is on those two for our queens and rulers uwu)
life and mental health is truly a struggle, for some even more so than others. That's why we all nee
Aw, gosh, you're too kind. You're one of our favorite people, too, and I know I speak for both of us when I say we're grateful for the kindness you've shown us, and are always excited to hear from you!
Aw, gosh, you're too kind. You're one of our favorite people, too, and I know I speak for both of us
*Huggles tight and Snuggles* Thanks Hon n_n <3 . You ever need to talk about anything, let me know, my ears and shoulders are always open n_n . And thank you so much for the Support ~ <3 ! That means a lot to me n_n ~ <3 ...
My vote is also for Megan and Grace as our Wise and Benevolent Overlords n.n <3 !
*Huggles tight and Snuggles* Thanks Hon n_n <3 . You ever need to talk about anything, let me know,
*Hugs* I'm so very sorry things have been so tough on you lately, and my deepest sympathies to you for the loss of your friend. I knew, from your journals, you were having a tough time, but I didn't think it was quite this tough! I sincerely hope it gets better for you, and trying for the art course at the local college sounds like a great idea! I hope you can get in, and have so much fun with it!
You're absolutely right that, sometimes, a kind gesture can mean so much to someone, no matter how small, and I'm so glad both of these came at the right time to help you. You are truly one of the nicest and kindest people I've met, and you deserve all the love and happiness in the world. May your future only hold good things going forward, and thank you so much for being a friend to me and to Megan both. Like her, nothing I've been through has been as bad as what you've described, but having you as a friend has meant so much. And you know she and I are always here for you, any time.
*Hugs* I'm so very sorry things have been so tough on you lately, and my deepest sympathies to you f
*Hugs back* Ya, I don't always share my troubles, mostly because they seem petty, especially when you compare em to all the stuff going on right now. But sometimes, I just feel overwhelmed by everything and have to let it out -_- . Thanks for the support and good wishes though Hon n_n <3 .
I swear, between you and Megan, you two are gonna turn me a permanet shade of Red XD //n_n// . *Hugs tight and Snuggles* Thank you though Hon n_n <3 ...Meeting you two is quite possibly one of the best things that has ever happened to me in life n_n ~ <3 ....Thank you both, for everything n_n ~ <3 .
*Hugs back* Ya, I don't always share my troubles, mostly because they seem petty, especially when yo
morgdl n_n ! Go give them some Love too n_n .
