WARNING: Although this particular chapter does not depict violence or cursing, future installments will. As this story is based on an adult parody of MLP called The Mentally Advanced Series. I would encourage that if you had not watched it to do so to get a grasp of the world in which this takes place. Many of the jokes, lore, and otherwise are in reference to MAS, not just simply My Little Pony. I have also made a supercut that includes every reference and appearance of Celestia in the series. In case watching the entire MAS series maybe too time consuming. If you find Celestia, or other canon characters, used in crude and unpleasant depictions offensive, this is your warning. However, I would appreciate that you take a look anyway with an open mind.
“And here’s your armor and weapons. You should be able to start working tomorrow, but take it easy when you can. Magic works wonders, but if you’re not careful you’ll black out from exhaustion.” The front desk nurse recommended sliding over Valiance her belongings.
“I will. Thank you, ma’am. It feels great to stretch my legs after being in bed all week.” Valiance chuckled as she quickly put her body armor on, hooking her helmet and weapon onto her side.
“I could only imagine.” the nurse smiled, “There’s a soldier waiting for you in the lobby. I’m sure it’s important, so I wish you luck.”
Just as the nurse had instructed, a soldier in royal guard uniform awaited for Valiance at the medical bay’s entrance.
“Valiance Ascalon?” he gruffly asked.
“Yes, sir.”
“Well come on, soldier. I’m here to take you to your quarters.” the soldier informed as he began leading away with Valiance in tow.
The walk was mostly quiet, but in time, Valiance noticed the regality of her surroundings. Banners and painted glass of the sisters’ various achievements adorned the halls with very little modesty. As they continued, one photo in particular caught Valiance’s attention enough to stop in her tracks. The photo contained Celestia wearing a suit with a leather overcoat hanging from her shoulders.
Valiance raised a brow dumbfoundedly. ‘Huh. Not the kind of attire I’d expect her to wear… but not bad at all.’ she thought to herself while gazing into the picture.
“Come on, you’ll have plenty of time to enjoy the scenery on your days off. Don’t fall behind!” the soldier called from further down the hall.
Snapping out of her trance, Valiance trotted back up to the soldier as they continued. Although, the scenery did spark some questions in her mind. After a moment, she finally decided to ask, “What does an acolyte do anyways?”
“That’s just a fancy name for a personal assistant. Though, judging by your particular skills, my guess would be being a personal bodyguard and just generally following her whim.” the soldier pondered as they approached a door and unlocked it.
Stepping into the room, Valiance softly muttered, “Wow, this is… lovely.” It was spacious with a large bed resting at its center, accompanied by a nightstand on each side. To the far left was a personal restroom along with a panoramic window with a beautiful view of Canterlot. To the right side of the bedroom rested her wardrobe and a bookshelf.
“I’d say I’m jealous of you, but in reality I can’t.” the soldier commented while handing the keys over.
“Why do you say that?”
“Acolyte’s are hard to come by. The last one that worked here was before I was old enough to get a job. Let’s just say he didn’t have the heart for it.”
Valiance was perplexed by the soldier’s warning. However, she knew that no matter the task, it would be done in Celestia’s name.
Back at the medical bay, a small pink pony with a satchel and large tight curled hair briskly made her way to the front desk. In a soft spoken voice the little mare asks the front desk clerk, “Hello, Nurse Flatline.”
“Hello, Mentee. Can I help you with something?”
“Um, do you know of a large pale mare who was committed here recently after the attack? She wore a purple and gold set of armor, not like the castle guards.”
"I'm sorry to say that the patient you're looking for was released earlier today." The clerk replied, looking the pink horse up and down.
“Oh, well, can you tell me where she is then?”
“No Mentee, you know I’m not at liberty to release that information.”
Mentee groaned, “Pleeease, I really have to talk to her. She saved my life during the changeling attack, can’t you just give me a hint where she might be?”
The clerk pony pondered momentarily, letting out a deep sigh, before firmly answering, “If I give you a hint, you didn’t get it from me, is that clear?”
Mentee eagerly nodded with a small smile as she leaned in closer.
“She’s a castle employee as well, if you ask around you could probably find her.” Flatline whispered.
Mentee gasped and shouted, “Thank you so much, Flatline!” Only to be shushed and shooed away.
After asking around, Mentee had finally made her way to Valiance’s room. Her body began to rattle as she grew ever closer to the door. Closing her eyes to compose herself, she finally mustered up the courage to knock on the door… nothing. Maybe she just hadn’t heard the knock on the door. Mentee tried again, this time louder… still nothing. She pressed her ear up against the door only to find absolutely no noise on the other side.
“No one is in there, miss. She left for a walk.” a disapproving voice slated.
Mentee flinched and quickly spun around to see a blue coated maid sneering at her. Rather than attempt to explain herself, Mentee panicked and bolted.
Sweat gathered on Mentee’s brow as she came to rest in an empty corridor. Running a cloven hoof through her bangs she uttered to herself, “This is ridiculous, I just wanted to thank her for saving me.” She glanced down to the satchel dejectedly, “Maybe I can find her tomorrow once my shift is over… I need to get some air.”
The cool evening air was a blessing that gently kissed Mentee’s face. She had made her way to the castle courtyard and basked in its soft serenity. Plopping on a nearby bench next to a batch of daffodils, she gingerly took off her satchel to lean back and relax. Their light aroma invited Mentee into picking one and absentmindedly twirling it around. Taking a light whiff, she smiled and placed the flower in her hair. Stars twinkled in the strawberry sunset while a few ponies walked the courtyard to head home.
‘Oh well, there’s always tomorrow.’ Mentee thought, as she scanned her surroundings. Suddenly, a glint caught her eye. When she focused, she could swear her eyes were going to pop out of their sockets. Before her was her knight in shining armor, casually walking around the courtyard smelling flowers.
Valiance took comfort in the beauty of the flowered and marbled plaza, having spent the entire day getting to know the castle’s layout better and what would be her new home. The giant fountain gently ran in the center, soothing all who heard it. Giant hedge sculptures, vivid red roses, and yellow daffodils were all perfectly nurtured to be a sight for even the sorest eyes.
“E-excuse me.” a small yet eager voice called from behind. Valiance turned and was greeted by a small pink pony, with thick ringlets for hair, and spectacles. The mare shuffled slightly closer and gently continued, “Uh, h-hello. I don’t mean to disturb but… um, well, you probably don’t remember me but-”
“Oh! You’re the mare that was almost carried off during the attack!” Valiance blurted out with a smile.
The little unicorn blushed, surprised that Valiance had even remembered her at all, “Yes, that was me. M-my name is Mentee, Mentee Prim.”
Valiance’s face softened further, “It's a pleasure to meet you, Mentee. My name’s Valiance Ascalon.”
Valiance and Mentee were not alone, the God Princess, Celestia, too had wished to enjoy a stroll to revel over her recent success. True to her word, the Princess oversaw the remainder of the changeling hive eradicated and their maggots turned to fertilizer. With that, and the acquisition of a new acolyte, Celestia had almost considered relieving her favorite student of her friendship studies for the day. Almost.
Voices had tickled at Celestia’s ear from the courtyard. Since the sun had set, most ponies would have gone on their way to the dining halls, barracks, or home at that point so she had a small interest to inquire the purpose of the conversation.
It didn’t take long for Celestia to find the source of the whispers. She easily spotted her new acolyte talking to one of the castle’s library assistants, Mentee Prim. The conversation itself was harmless, with small talk abound and a few thanks sprinkled in. However, when Mentee pulled her gift out of her satchel, Celestia’s cold stare stabbed at Mentee’s glimmering eyes. Celestia scrutinized deep into Mentee’s heart, seeing through her feeble facade. This was no mere thanks, the pink mare’s soul pounded with infatuation. The way she kicked the dust and tugged at her hair all the while coyly glancing at Valiance left no doubt in the Princess’ mind; and it filled her with vile intrigue.
“I, uh, wanted to let you know how thankful I am for saving me. I really thought that I was gonna be a goner until you came along.” Mentee said, rubbing her neck. She tapped her hooves together in thought then reached for her satchel, “This isn’t much, b-but I hope you still enjoy it well enough.” Encased in periwinkle blue magic, Mentee unlatched her satchel to reveal a small pink box tied in a red laced ribbon.
“Oh! Well thank you, Mentee. You really didn’t have to do that.” Valiance assured, gently taking the gift.
“You know, I’ve been working at the castle for a while now. There've been plenty of acquaintances I’ve made… but no one to really call my friend. I was just wondering… if you would… maybe…” Mentee sheepishly stalled.
Valiance chuckled heartily, “Of course we can be friends. It’d be nice to have company with someone who knows their way around here, not to mention someone so sweet.”
Mentee’s stomach twisted into a knot, her already flushed face was now blistering red. In an act of feverish joy, Mentee sputtered, “T-t-thank y-you! Y-you too!” With nothing holding her back she sprinted away, nearly tripping over herself as she spun around a corner and out of sight.
Perplexity gripped Valiance’s thoughts, ‘I wonder where she ran off to, I hope I didn’t say anything stupid. That would be embarrassing.’ Turning her attention to the box, Valiance pulled the ribbon and peered inside. Her benign smile graced her lips again. Inside, were cookies in the shapes of flowers, hearts, and bunnies. Each one was carefully decorated in a shiny pastel colored frosting, some were adorned with cute smiles to top it off.
As Valiance innocently popped one in her mouth, a sudden chill ran up her spine when she felt the looming presence of some wicked soul behind her. “And what have we here?”
Valiance twisted around to see the owner staring down at her through biting amethyst eyes. The full moon’s rays illuminated the roses in the garden, bathing Celestia in the color red. Although initially shocked, relief washed over Valiance as she sighed, “Oh, Princess Celestia, it’s you. This is just a little thank you gift from a friend I saved.” Valiance passed the gift box to her majesty to see personally.
The Princess shook the box slightly with a sneer, and with her magic, pulled out a heart shaped cookie. “How sweet.” she hummed as she jaggedly pulled the cookie in half. Without giving Valiance time to think, Celestia jammed one of the halves into her acolyte’s mouth before turning and walking away.
Bewildered by Celestia’s actions, Valiance chewed her half and absentmindedly reached for another cookie, but was only met with air. It was then that she snapped back to her senses, realizing that Celestia had taken the entire box for herself. Conflicted, Valiance chose to keep her mouth shut. It was Celestia’s will, after all. ‘But that doesn’t mean that I’m happy about it.’ Valiance huffed to herself, having really wanted to enjoy her gift. “Forget it.” Valiance groaned, throwing her hooves into the air, “I’m just gonna go to bed.”
