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GrimArt
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Addiction 103-104 END

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by GrimArt
Addiction 101-102
Wabi-Sabi
My partner got mad at me for not including a 'what if' at the end, so have it.
There are two possible outcomes for this story.
1. A tornado occurs as Leto hangs himself. This is symbolic of the first time Leto found value in life by participating in activities outside of school, with Damon, doing disaster relief. That first disaster relief was a tornado. Leto still dies, but these last two pages are what could have been. A life he fantasizes about before death. This is the more fucked up ending because it means Damon would find his dead body during disaster response for this city.

2. A tornado occurs as Leto attempts to hang himself. Repeat of the symbolism in scenario 1. However, the tornado hits early enough to fuck up his suicide attempt, and Damon finds him during disaster relief. They get through Leto's issues and Leto's happier and these last two pages are real. I like this scenario better. It's a reminder that there is hope even in the darkest and most fucked up of situations. It'd be a jarring ending for scenario two, though, because I don't show any of the steps taken to recover from Leto's awful situation. But if he can end up OK as in these last two pages, despite all those hurdles, so can someone going through something similar. Don't give up hope. (-;

Comic schedules are returning to Saturday-Sunday posts.

Keywords
male 1,171,893, human 106,270, comic 84,987, b/w 318
Details
Type: Picture/Pinup
Published: 3 years, 8 months ago
Rating: General

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1,681 views
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36 comments

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Relica
3 years, 8 months ago
This is very hard to choose which ending I expect more out of this, both are plasuable and fitting, a part of me can see the suicide happening as part of "crossing the line of no return" which is how this story was leading, while at the same time it is nice to see their is a silver lining too, that it is not too late, that life can give you chances to become better.  As dark as this story was, I give it claps all the same.
Sillydraco
3 years, 8 months ago
At least he didn't end up in prison like I thought he would :<
Kynexn
3 years, 8 months ago
Not gonna lie, having a tornado be the thing that saved someone from a suicide attempt is something that I only just now, because of this comic thought about. Again, you bring necessary and healthy discussion with this too. I am glad that this comic has reached its conclusion, and was also given several alternative conclusions that all very well are and can be "right". Living in Tornado alley all my life has more often than not made me think about how easy it'd be to just close my eyes and fly. Though, uh, honestly, there's a lot of city in the way before it gets to me so if a tornado ever flattened my house, the whole neighborhood (minus the few houses that survive the wind undamaged of course) would be gone, and going outside would be instant.

Lots of struggles in the world...but support is what saves lives. The world needs more support.
EclypseSkunk
3 years, 8 months ago
This was a wild ride, and I really appreciate what went into it.  It was a lot of difficult content, and some of it is hard for some of us to swallow.

Kudos to you, and anyone that helped you on the endeavor.  <3  And very much looking forward to future content!
CastInShadows
3 years, 8 months ago
Thanks for that ending.
Wolfskid
3 years, 8 months ago
even though the last page seems too lucky, too sudden, too good to be true, I´ll take it. Sometimes impossible things like thos happen and I would like to cling to that hope that leto got lucky. In the end even though it was a pretty rough ride I enjoyed it, showing the more darker sides of human problems and situations. It´s hope that dies last
Kellyn
3 years, 8 months ago
First of all before anything I want to say thank you so much for putting yourself through this to bring this comic into reality. This must have been an extremely difficult project to make emotionally.

I remember once DMing you about a hypothetical ending 2 to Tell Me More not unlike the ending 2 to this story to show that Jonsey was on the path to recovery even if it didn't show any of the steps she took to get there. I still strongly believe that that would work for Tell Me More and wouldn't actually be that jarring. With this story however I feel quite a bit different about it (not that im against it).

With Tell Me More pretty much everything that happened to Jonsey was out of her hands. Stuff happened to her and while she could have maybe made some better decisions (like leaving the strip club when her dad got shot) there was no way she could have known how things would play out. With this story while plenty of stuff happened to leto that he didn't really have any control over or could have known in advance was the wrong decision. There was plenty that he did do that he KNEW was wrong and there were people he hurt in the process of making those decisions. On top of that with Jonsey she was caught pretty early but with Leto he had actual chances to seek out help and instead he resorted to keeping his problems to himself and going deeper into his addiction.

I really support ending 2 and the message it is trying to send and I definitely think it is something leto with help could have obtained. However unlike with Jonsey, Leto has lost my trust. I feel like before I can really accept ending 2 as canon I would need some kind of proof he has changed and that he isn't keeping everything to himself and returning to his addiction when no one is looking. Does anyone but him know about the child porn? Did he ever get actual closure to his friendship with Howl and Sam? Did he ever realize how actually disgusting Reth is?

All that said thanks again for everything you put yourself through to make this comic. Sorry if it seems like im bashing the ending but honestly its just because im so invested that I really just want to know more xD. Anyway I can't wait for your next comic and everything else that's to come in the future.
Lnarra214
3 years, 8 months ago
I personally would choose ending 2. but I like happy endings, even if this one is only relative.
DrNubsFox
3 years, 8 months ago
Man, what a wild ride. Thanks for the soul searching experience. The wildest part is I can't even decide with ending is better. Like, I usually prefer a happy ending, but his death due to his downward spiral seems more poignant. And it's not even entirely due to his own issues/choices, showing we are more a victim of circumstances than we let ourselves believe. I mean, if I lost both my parents in a tragic fire, I'd probably be asking Leto for rope. But maybe it's the lack of any kind of progression towards healing (No judgement for how you wrote your story. It was free after-all ;). I've got no right to complain. ).
I only wish we had more story about Howl's group in the end. My take, and I might be wrong, is that Sam hated Leto, and told him to leave unbeknownst to Howl and his mother. So Howl and his mother still have unresolved feelings about Leto. Howl was my personal emotional center of the story, meaning I really liked him being a foil for Leto.

Anyway, 10/10. Would recommend. I'd buy a physical copy to share. Now maybe I can sleep through the night without waking up to check for updates ;p.

[Something that just dawned on me, the realism of depression/suicide. You can be a lump of suffering like Leto, or you can have a healthy support system like Howl. it's a powerful force that can effect anyone.]
GrimArt
3 years, 8 months ago
It's likely that I'll end up doing side comics for Howl and Sam's life here and there, similar to how I've been posting images of Jonesy here and there since Tell Me More ended. When the idea strikes me, it'll be made into art. (-: I just don't have an immediate side comic thought up yet.
TillyFox
3 years, 8 months ago
I see Howl and Sam holding hands. Howl's mom dabbing tears again, but this time its because Howl is in a Tuxedo and Sam in a Wedding Gown. :-)
Boony
3 years, 8 months ago
I stand behind this idea.
Valiant
3 years, 8 months ago
Hey Grim? I just wanted to say thank you for making these. I don't usually feel much in the way of emotion as of late, but this one hit different. It was a tragic story all the way down to the two possible endings. Thank you so much for the hard work you put into this. Wonderful job. I enjoy how it isn't just a happy ending all the time. Even in the supposed good ending. It's a very wild ride from beginning to end.

Thank you once again. Looking forward to your next comic, whatever it may be!
fyari
3 years, 8 months ago
I choose this ending, as someone who tried t o take my own life, and was lucky enough that my grandmother decided to stop by at that moment and it saved me.Thank you for giving the option of a happy ending, thank you very much. ♥
Blackraven2
3 years, 8 months ago
I like the ambiguity of the 2 possible endings. Great choice, better than forcing any particular one.
Monoko
3 years, 8 months ago
First of all kudos for making this comic. It sure takes a lot of work and I respect that. There is however a thing that left a bit of a weird feeling about it. I understand that the comic is meant to show a very dark side of human life and how messed up it can be. I would certainly choose the happier ending with him coming together with his crush but to be honest, that felt very unrealistic after all this. Of course people can have a turning point in their lifes but I can't believe that this would be it.

I have to say that Leto wasn't someone I could root for, he didn't seem like a person you'd get attached to, at least I didn't. To me he seemed like the person who constantly tried to get people's attention by making himself miserable and while that certainly is a fair thing to do given what he has gone through, he didn't seem to add value to anyones life. Everyone else just seemed to accept that he's there. He certainly did by helping with the desaster response but that felt more like it was to show the story of him getting to know his crush, not how leto added value to other people.

I don't want this to come off as saying that the comic wasn't good but I feel like it could have been better. But maybe that's just me who felt this way (that's always a possibility) and this critique is uncalled for but that's at least how I felt about it. Take it for whatever you like or not. :) If it helps, great, if not I hope that it won't ruin your day. ^^' you're still a respectable artist in my eyes. :)
GrimArt
3 years, 8 months ago
Your comment is causing me to contemplate. I wonder if I unintentionally made Leto a character who didn't bring change about in other people because I was afraid of growing attached to him as a character. If he showed positive values, then I would feel more disgusted with myself for what I was doing to him, perhaps. Maybe it was a subconscious attempt at detachment, seeing him as something that only reacts instead of causing changes. Causing changes would make him significant. Maybe it means I have more growing to do as an author, to learn that it's OK to be upset over what happens to your characters. Maybe it's a sign that I haven't gotten over my past trauma. "This is what I could have been if my groomer hadn't left me alone." or "This is what I fear I will become: nothing." There's much uncertainty as to why Leto turned out the way he did as a character. Maybe I'm just not a good enough writer to have written him--maybe it just wasn't my time to write it due to lack of experience. So many maybes. I don't know the answer. But, you are not wrong. It likely could have been better. Whether it be fear of the consequences of making him more relatable, or sheer incompetence as a writer, it gives me something to reflect on. I will learn from this nonetheless and try to do better in the future.
Monoko
3 years, 8 months ago
I wasn't quite aware that it was such a personal comic, although I should have figured. ^^' But yeah, if that's the case I can certainly see why you might unintentionally have chosen to not get too attached to the main character. It did show but I can also understand that if a personal piece is so close to ones own life, that dealing with the emotions even in a comic can cripple one self. So I'd say that it's up to you to decide when you feel ready to tackle it. You are aware of it, so you'll probably look into it, once you feel strong enough to do so. :) Comics can cause quite strong emotions within a reader, you root for characters, you wish those characters who caused misery to just die, the investment in characters can be very strong so I bet it's probably even more pronounced from an artist to his own characters perspective, that's what makes comics so relatable and such a strong medium to convey emotions. ^.^
Elazul
3 years, 8 months ago
As much as I want to, I just can't believe ending 2. Life is just that cruel.

I respect how real you have kept it with this story the whole way through. Thanks for making it.
SkippyCoyote
3 years, 8 months ago
Ohhhh whew! I read the last few pages without reading the description and I definitely perceived it as ending #2, since how things actually turned out were way different than anything Leto fantasized about life after death being. My only real wish is that you would have fully committed to ending option 2 and devoted a few pages to fleshing out how Damon found Leto after the tornado and helped him recover; physically and emotionally. In any case I'm still really glad that you left open the possibility of a better future for Leto, because given the general content of this site I'm guessing there may be at least a couple readers in a position not all that different from Leto's; and giving them at least a little hope that life could get better seems like the best message this long dark story could have offered. So, thank you for leaving open the possibility. This was definitely my favorite comic you've written thus far =)
CyberaWolf
3 years, 8 months ago
This feels very abrupt for a conclusion.
Skunks
3 years, 8 months ago
This has been a real interesting story, thank you for posting! Like others mentioned the last page seems like a bit of a tonal clash compared to the rest of the comic, which is to say that even if the external input wasn't explained in the description on this post I think I still would have felt that if this story was concluding naturally, it would have ended on the previous page. As well, as I saw it come up in another conversation, I feel the problem is that the story was too overwhelmingly negative around Leto for me to truly relate. Of course I can't speculate to the reasoning behind it, but we see him being abused mentally and physically, his parents dying, and his downward spiral and hitting rock bottom at the end, with a slight reprieve here and there thats mainly him with friends who themselves seem fairly distant and more involved with each other. But I notice in one of your replies something that seems to coincide with what I was going to say, that he seems too much like a cautionary tale, a direct example of what not to be, for me to consider myself in his shoes. That's only my take on it though and of course you can see many more who felt a lot more attached to his story.
As for your writing ability, I think this was written phenomenally well and not just in comparison to the average story presented to the fandom. Not to mention I appreciate the sheer ambition of what you did here. I'm looking forward to what you follow up with, whenever you do!
bestbuds
3 years, 8 months ago
I wish there were more answers.
Repstar
3 years, 8 months ago
So, i waited for the end of the comic to comment so i could gather my thoughts properly.
This comic was very hard to read for me for the right reasons. I've made mistakes in the past, a few of the characters were way to relatable for the wrong reasons.
For example, reth, that could have been me if i never ended up going to therapy for my problems, being confronted with that in this manner and the kind of damage it can cause was.... hard, but it was a good reminder of my growth and how the therapy helped me as well, current me would never end up like reth due to the progress i've made.
As a recovered alcoholic and a hypersexual person that in the past struggled with obsessive mastrubation leto was another character to relate to, knowing that dark spiral addiction can take you down i worried about the ending of the comic, about being confronted with the consequences things like that can have. this ending we got now is the best option, cause both endings are very real possibilities in situations like this.
I found you during tell me more, and after that and this comic i can confidentaly say you're a great writer and i'm very much looking forward to what comes next, whatever it will be i know it will be good, even if it might be hard to read at times due to confronting emotions.
killerman33
3 years, 8 months ago
the ending, seems super rushed. however as i read this comic i noticed that the whole comic was skipping a lot as if the pages were not connected in time.
GrimArt
3 years, 8 months ago
There are time jumps between certain pages. It is noted in the page itself.
philipontacoes
3 years, 8 months ago
This ending will be cannon for me, though I am a tad frustrated that we didn't get closure with Reth, whether Leto decided to burn that bridge, or fess up and rat her out. The way you portrayed certain things made it seem like they were to be hints as to who Reth was and that a keen eyed person could spot her in a crowd if they tried hard enough, but a part of me is glad to be wrong about that.

Reth was an outside force, and although I want some questions answered, I respect the story you've given us. You touched home for me in several ways and got under my skin. You've made a great story here, eager to see what comes next.
GrimArt
3 years, 8 months ago
I didn't put in any closure with Reth because I never got any closure with my groomer. Well, one of them. The one who physically touched me still comes over to parties I go to and asks me if I remember what he did to me like it's supposed to be sexy. I don't think I could have ever rendered Reth in that way without being as impartial as I could when showing how many pedophiles in the furry fandom actually are. The person who groomed me online, I can't remember if they stopped coming online or we just stopped talking to each other. There was no closure. That's how life is sometimes.
OOOeyGoooey
3 years, 8 months ago
Both endings have merit in of themselves, and i agree with keep hope and keep on best you can, Life can be hard, sometimes unbearable

But theres always the light at the end of the tunnel somewhere, and that light becomes easier to reach little by little when you have people that care for you and support you

Leto went down a dark path, and at the end, lied either true darkness into nothingness, or that glimmer that saved him, Damon

You take the bad with the good, like i can be happy go lucky boy in seeking to try to bring smiles to people where i can, and then suddenly i lost both my parents in one year, and various friends ended up being my light out of a darker time

Sorry haha, abit of a rant, anyway! Great job on this, Grim!
Lucius97
3 years, 8 months ago
Will Leto apologize to Howel at the next story?
Boony
3 years, 8 months ago
I would like to see Howl not hold Leto accountable as they were both going through troubles at the time. As well as Howl encouraging Sam to forgive Leto as well.
Lensbrek
3 years, 8 months ago
I was raped by a 'friend' of my father when I was little. I'm sorry you went through this too. There is no good ending.
EccentricThing
3 years, 6 months ago
Thank you for writing this. Whooof. Heavy stuff, but so real. I hate how taboo it is to even talk about the reality of stories like this. So thank you for having the courage to put this out there.
Ceklj56
3 years ago
I like the second ending as I think it shows that Leto still has a chance to live a much more better life and that there's hope even in the most darkest of times.
kcfennet
2 years, 6 months ago
Wow, this was an amazing comic, and particularly for such a dark topic. I applaud you, all around!
I'm curious as to what your inspirations were.
Kaloyan
1 year, 11 months ago
That previous scene was hard to read.
I choose to hope for the more optimistic ending.
Reality sucks enough, it's a horrible world and we have to live in it. Being a realist oftentimes feels no different from being a pessimist.

Always hope for the best. Always brace for worst.

I want Leto to have a happily ever after. I want Howl to be happy and safe. I want Sam to be happy and secure and maybe find that understanding of what makes sex so good. And I want Reth.... I want Reth to be set on fire and hit by a speeding train that knocks her into deep ravine where she tumbles over sharp, jagged rocks and survives long enough with enough hydration to suffer a long and agonizing death by starvation.
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