You'll want to either take off the "-ed" off "outcasted", switch it around for "cast out", or replace it entirely with another word, like "exiled". Also, might think about taking the comma out of the top of the last panel. If you feel the sentence needs a pause as Gwen considers what to say, maybe use an ellipsis.
You'll want to either take off the "-ed" off "outcasted", switch it around for "cast out", or replac
I like how you scoured the comic for stylistic choices with which you disagree -- all of which could have been deliberate decisions by the author -- but didn't catch "oxyen" in the third panel, which (probably) wasn't intentional.
While I'm sure your intentions were noble, the answer to the question "should I give unsolicited critical feedback" is usually "no", and certainly "at least not in the public comments".
I like how you scoured the comic for stylistic choices with which you disagree -- all of which could
these two are my absolute favorite! and the chucky bulge helps ;3 plus i love learning more about gwendolyn. ahhh what i couldent give to learn magic from her XD hot sweet thoughtful careing witch mouse ;3
these two are my absolute favorite! and the chucky bulge helps ;3 plus i love learning more about gw
Her knowledge of chemistry could certainly make her an alchemist, she does have that skill. But right now she's using magic, that's the witch part of her.
Her knowledge of chemistry could certainly make her an alchemist, she does have that skill. But righ
"Pacifism only works when everybody feels the same." ~ Ian Chesterton, Doctor Who, "The Daleks"
But then, pacifists can often refuse to fight because they fear they would be too good at it and perhaps even enjoy it far more than they want to.
Of course, it's one thing for Chucky to think they should be executed and quite another for him to personally chop off their heads if he were given the axe. But he's young yet and still bloodguiltless.
Also, on a technical note, it's revealing on how Gwendolyn casts her spell. The right hand is on the transmitting side of the body and the left hand is on the receiving side (via the palms; the backs of the hands would be the opposite, but not as strong). It would mean that this particular spell is cast by the left paw creating a flow of energy into it that the right paw's gestures would be igniting and adjusting. It's likely more conservative with energy, but a slight bit more mentally involved than simply blasting energy out of the right paw like a blowtorch.
~~~ Quote: "Pacifism only works when everybody feels the same." ~ Ian Chesterton, Doctor Who,
Disagree about pacifism. It's short-sighted and foolish at best, and can easily be maliciously pretentious. I see no honor in it.
Not starting fights is good, but she herself explained why pacifism isn't good. It's useless against those that do want to start fights, or do even worse.
Disagree about pacifism. It's short-sighted and foolish at best, and can easily be maliciously prete
I can't wait for her to start REALLY teaching Chucky. I KNOW he wants to learn from her and I KNOW she wants to teach him. The chemistry between these two has always been the heart of the story and it works soo well! Also I like her thinking, she's going to be the perfect tutor for Chucky in a LOT more than just magic and science! :D
I can't wait for her to start REALLY teaching Chucky. I KNOW he wants to learn from her and I KNOW s
She (and you) will have to explain the swirling motion of her right hand and the pointing motion of her left. She's done that before and there's an intuitive logic behind it, but I'll be interested in a brief formal lesson in the mechanical details of those gestures! Was a bit confused about what her right leg is doing in Panel 7. I think I get it: her foot is hidden behind the rear hem of her dress, but it made me look twice.
She (and you) will have to explain the swirling motion of her right hand and the pointing motion of
Sure thing. I probably should have mentioned something about it in her character description, but here goes. She's right handed, so she performs the bulk of her magic with her right hand. She's pulling oxygen from the air with her twirling motion, while in panel two you can see her thumbnail and middle fingernail of her left hand are touching. She's using these to strike a spark and release combustible material into the stream of oxygen. She then guides the flame with her left hand, while continuously fueling the fire with her oxygen spell using her right hand. She uses her right hand for most heavy magic, although she can use either one. She does the same thing when she restrains Chucky with the rope, hold him in place with her left hand while performing the dancing rope magic with her right.
In panel 7 she's kneeling, it looks fine to me.
Sure thing. I probably should have mentioned something about it in her character description, but he
It's good you've thought all that out, those little details make the whole comic look consistent even if they never come into play directly. Chucky will be eager to learn some of this himself though. Looking forward to him practicing the basics and finding humorous ways to screw it up!
It's good you've thought all that out, those little details make the whole comic look consistent eve
