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2019 - Six Weeks To Go

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by SquareOtter

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Okay, 2019 was not my year, it was in fact the worst year of my life by far. I know this is said easily, but it's true.
Relationships, health, money, job... everything went downhill noticeably.
At least finally I have a psychologist, but I am lying to him heavily. And I lie to my co-workers, to my friends, my family and even to myself.
I do not tell that to get pity. That does not help anyway. I just tell you that because there is not a single person close enough to me which I could be honest to - so at least I want to write it here, to strangers, simply to tell someone what a fake and terrible person I am.
But there is a second reason. One of the few good things I'll carry on from this stupid year is that there are some people on earth who seem to like my art and that puts a smile of my face. And I don't care if there are five or 10.000 - I just want to say thank you. And maybe... maybe 2020 will be a new start, will be great.... like your 2020! =)
....And of course, thank you for reading! =)

Keywords

male 1,116,462, human 100,685, self portrait 197

Details

Type: Picture/Pinup

Published: 4 years, 5 months ago

Rating: General

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OOOeyGoooey

4 years, 5 months ago

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I just hope it isnt painful to keep in, its not good to have no one to vent to, to let loose pains and worries and problems :<

We all have our secrets, and even if its lies you tell them, its understandable to not trust many with your life story, im sorry its been tough for you this year, and i hope next year will be better for you! >.<

And good luck with your art journey too, ill be watching for sure!

SageOfShadow

4 years, 5 months ago

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First of all, here is my most used lie "I'm fine " ^^.

Next I'll say that there is one thing "funny" with lies, they can become true. I insist, my "i'm fine" is a good example. You might not be fine the moment you say it, but you might be later. That work with a lot of lies. Just try to make it become true later XD

I'll end up saying two things more and one question. First, the point of a psychologist is that he is a stranger...ok the scariest of them all but a stranger none the less XP And second, I'll just say, everyone lies. And sometimes, even them can say a truth. A truth about what you may want to be for example even if your not it right now ^^ I don't think being afake or terrible person is a problem, the problem would be about not wanting to change. And you seem to want it :D

Now for the question...why are you lying ? My main reasons are because I'm lazy, it make things easier (they won't know about it anyway) or because i want to prevent them from suffering of things they can't do anything about anyway (which i believe, but may not be true) ^^

I'm sorry for the long comment, that's an interesting topic (lies and why to use them) and i never have anyone to talk about it so i have jump on the occasion ^^

Oh, to really end my comment, I'll just say that is a cute drawing indeed ^^
Hope next year will be better for you !

SquareOtter

4 years, 5 months ago

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Thank you both for your constructive comments.
The reason why I am always lying is simple: I don`t want to concern the one person that means the world to me (my sister) and all the other ones will give the same stupid advice like always: Pull yourself together, just stop doing stupid shit. But nobody of them is a sociophobic drug addict in a bad payed job far under his qualifications. I know everyone has their problems, I am not special in that way. But I'm at a dead end right now and I'm scared. But at least I am not without hope for a better time.

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