Waynehead. I used to watch this on an infrequent basis, esp. if the proposition of going outside was too intimidating or if I were too lazy to change the channel. Either way, I remembered this series and thought to look back on some episodes, to see if my adult form would derive any amusement from the series.
Ok, so to begin, who or what is Waynehead?
Waynehead was a late-90's animated series produced by comedian Damon Waynes, who based the series loosely on his childhood experiences. The series represents Waynes as 'Damey', AKA 'Waynehead': a boy with a club foot (he wears some sort of corrective leg brace which seems little more than a situational nuisance).
Though not very descriptive of the show to follow, I do like the theme song---it's upbeat and really captures the 'sound' of 90's-era hip-hop; it's hard for the listener to resist not waving their hands in the air to it! XD
This episode's title is a bit misleading as the 'rebel without a paw' has (in fact) three paws. Said rebel is Tripod: a stray neighborhood dog who's missing his left foreleg. Waynehead seems to have a soft spot for the unfortunate beast, despite the comically sadistic name Waynehead has given him (then again, when your own name is *'Waynehead'...)
*according to Wordpress,
"The term 'Waynehead' comes from home-sheared haircuts given to Damey and his brothers"
I suppose my in-verse name would be 'Flat-top' (...which would make a good name for a Land-Before-Time character ...RAWR!). ^^
Continuing my digression, if I had to give Damey a nickname, I'd call him 'Jingles' or something. Maybe it's just me, but in drawing the character, Waynehead's design befits a Christmas elf---it's the combination of his beanie cap and pointy ears (all he needs is a bell). :P
Anyway...
Our tale begins with Waynehead and his friends playing with a football behind their apartment building. Tripod is also in on the action.
MARVIN: "Aki, go long; Waynehead, you and Tripod block"
WAYNEHEAD: The same lame play every time, Marvin!"
*giggles* "Lame" *shot*
WAYNEHEAD (continuing): "How come I can't go long?"
MARVIN: "Yo, yo, yo---it's 'cause you got butter fingers!"
WAYNEHEAD: "It's because of my shoe, huh?"
Gee, I wonder what lesson this episode is going to (try) to teach. :3
Waynehead fails to convince Marvin to change his mind. The play is made, and ends with Waynehead fumbling the ball. This doesn't go unobserved by the neighborhood bullies sitting on a stoop across the road.
SKINNY: "Yo! Footballhead can't catch a football!"
Ooo! Burn! #sarcasm ...And you're in the wrong cartoon, buddy---'Hey Arnold' is two studios over.
These bullies are known as the 'St. Mary's Boys'. This is very likely a reference to something real in Waynes's life, but... I'll be referring to them as 'the bullies'.
Failing to ruffle Waynehead and his friends, the bullies (who have a dog of their own) begin insulting Tripod.
This ends with Skinny's hooker-esque girlfriend suggesting their dog and Tripod 'squab', which effectively means to fight.
Dog fighting in a kids' cartoon! :P
Waynehead refuses the challenge, but offers one of his own,
The above will be Waynehead vs. Skinny. As for the challenge itself, think 'dog sledding with a skateboard' (first to release their leash before reaching the busy highway, loses).
The bullies accept.
We cut to the ally whereat Waynehead and company are preparing for their skateboard challenge.
WAYNEHEAD: "I hate to tell you this, Tripod, but because you're missing a paw, you're always gonna have to prove yourself. But we'll show these chumps!"
The bullies arrive and (after the hooker-esque girlfriend tries to seduce us), the challenge begins.
Both Waynehead and Skinny release their leashes simultaneously (the animation fails to show why exactly), but the dogs keep going a little ways. The bully dog halts just shy of the curb, but Tripod (accidentally) bumps him into the street. The bully dog is narrowly missed by an oncoming car. Even so, the bully dog gives chase to Tripod.
Pursued by the kids, the animals run into a food-and-drug store owned by an old man named Mr. Katzenberg. The store's sign reads 'Bodega "W"'---the 'Bodega' part is (today) a real store that sells mid-range skater and lounge clothes. With the 'W' added, a Google search reveals this (would be) some kind of liquor store. :P
KATZENBERG (just before the dogs enter): "I sure do have more money in the register since I stopped paying off the mob"
Again, 'kids cartoon' (how did us Millennials survive the 90's?) :P
The bully dog charges in after Tripod, comically toppling a stack of canned goods as a consequence. The sound of the crash frightens Mr. Katzenberg,
The bully dog and his gang dash from the store before Mr. Katzenberg can regain his composure, thus leaving Tripod, Waynehead and friends to Mr. Katzenberg's wrath.
KATZENBERG (to Waynehead): "Wait just a minute! That three-legg'd mutt caused this ruckus! I'm suing; that dog owes me $250,000,000 dollars!" D:
WAYNEHEAD: "No, Mr. Katzenberg! It wasn't Tripod, it was the St. Mary's Boys's dog! You're just blaming this on Tripod because he's missing a paw"
Um, no--no he isn't, Waynehead. Granted, Katzenberg is hopping to conclusions, but Tripod's anomaly has nothing to do with it.
KATZENBERG: "Young man, a nice Catholic dog would never be involved in anything like this"
Huh? Isn't Katzenberg Jewish?
KATZENBERG (continuing): Now give me that dog so I can have the dog catcher put it to sleep!"
Absolutely not (btw, Grandpa, Quasimodo wants his hump back)! :P
I cannot stand this way of thinking---I don't like Katzenberg (and I'm sure I'm not alone in that position).
Anyway, Tripod and the kids run from the store as Katzenberg declares he will be calling the dog catcher.
We cut to sometime later outside Waynehead's apartment. Waynehead tries to convince his father to let him adopt Tripod in order to save him.
FATHER: "Sure you can have a dog, soldier! ...As long as it ain't that mutt running around the neighborhood on three legs; that dog looks like it has fleas, bad breath and some sort of liver disease!"
Despite this, Waynehead takes Tripod up to his room to try another solution.
WAYNEHEAD: "So you can't stay 'cause you only got three legs, huh? Well, I can fix that!"
There's more to it than that, but let's not add any undue complexity to the message. :P I mean, it is hypocritical that the parents of a child with a 'foot problem' would jeer at an animal (or, possibly, another person) with a handicap.
Anyway...
Waynehead tries to make a replacement 'leg' for tripod, out of various spare parts and scraps (one of Waynehed's hobbies is making his own toys and sports equipment). Alas, Waynehead's attempt backfires, resulting the parents banning Tripod from the apartment.
Outside, waynehead tries to remain optimistic,
WAYNEHEAD (to Tripod): "Sorry about my family turning on you like that, Tripod. But don't sweat it, man---we just gotta stay calm, ya know what I'm saying?"
Enter the dog catcher: an Amazonian woman with a Southern accent ...and a lasso. :P
AMAZON: "Cowboy, you'll need some extra legs to outrun me, huh?"
I can't tell if this episode is trying too hard or not hard enough.
Waynehead and Tripod escape.
Afterwords, Waynehead takes Tripod around, hoping someone else from the neighborhood will adopt him.
NEIGHBOR: "Tripod looks like a member of the oppressed class to me, boy! Do you know what kind of weapons I need to defend this dog against a psycho terrorist or a disgruntled postal worker?"
...
What follows is an odd little scene between Waynehead and a blind blues singer.
BLUES MAN (singing): "I'm missing six teeth/Mmm mmm-mmm/And it's hard to chew/Mmm-mmm mmm-mmm/Got one thing left, though/Mmm mm-mm/It's called the blues *cough-cough* Dang tobbacco company!
(to Waynehead),
Boy, you got a problem?"
Waynehead explains as the three walk through town (the blind guy has neither a cane nor an eye-dog).
BLUES MAN: "...if Tripod continues to play the paw card, he'll always have to prove himself"
WAYNEHEAD: "But they make fun of his paw!"
BLUES MAN: "Excuses, excuses! It's like my blindness---I don't let that stop me, I just walk around the problems"
...he says as he bumps into people and things, before falling through a sewer hole, thereby thwarting any potential this scene had for imparting any genuine wisdom.
WAYNEHEAD: "Blues man, you make a lot of sense"
...Well, Waynehead's satisfied so I guess I am, too. :P
Ah, but the Amazonian dog catcher appears, and this time she is successful! D:
Digressing, but the upload I've linked to retains its original commercials, among which is the Chef Boyardee ad that references 'Predator' (it's hilarious!). Also, there's an ad for Ferngully 2 on VHS ...*adds 'Nugget' to to-do list*
Anyway...
Waynehead vows that he will rescue Tripod from the pound.
The next day, Waynehead and his friends gather at the stoop of their apartment.
ROZ: "Dang! That dog's good as dead!"
MO'MONEY (to Marvin): "Yo! Pour a little root beer out for Tripod!"
WAYNEHEAD: "Tripod's not dead yet, we just gotta think of a way to get him out of the pound"
The kids have no real plan for achieving this beyond walking through the front door of the pound ...which they do.
A poster on the pound's wall reads,
"Spay and neuter your loved ones"
I'm unsure if it was meant to be phrased that way, but... that was our PSA for this episode (just... be careful how you act on it).
Anyhow, the kids have little trouble finding Tripod in his cage, among the cages belonging to other dogs awaiting destruction.
ROZ (upon entering the kennel room): "Ah! I love the smell of dog in the evening!"
...I don't want to know what her family serves at dinner. 00
WAYNEHEAD (to Tripod): "Tripod! We're gonna bust you out!"
ROZ: "It looks like he's been tortured!"
TOFF: You're right! They cut off one of his legs!"
ENOUGH WITH THE LEGS ALREADY! D:
Marvin foolishly pushes (the equally foolish) 'master lock' button that opens all the dog cages. The pound pack escapes from the pound, knocking over the Amazonian dog catcher as they do so. The kids also manage to escape with Tripod in tote. The kids split into different directions to avoid capture as a group. Unfortunately, this leaves Waynehead and Tripod alone to face the bullies, who just happened to be hanging out at the corner.
SKINNY: "Well, well, well---it's Butterfingers and his bubble-eyed dog"
...Heads, fingers, feet, legs, and eyes---no body part is safe from this cast!
SKINNY: "I know---how about we tie (our dog) and Bubble-eyes together by the neck. They fight, and whoever's left alive is the baddest dog"
...tsk, tsk, cartoon---who thought a suggestion like that was appropriate (even for a 90's cartoon)? I'm serious when I say that line was the reason I wanted to review this---it's horrible a deserves to be shamed. Fact is, there are some idiots who actually do that sort of thing to animals, so even if such a suggestion is uttered by a villain, it still puts the concept into the mind of the audience (and at least one person would be bound to act on it). Again, that's shameful. :(
WAYNEHEAD: "Please, I ain't got time for you; Tripod and I ain't got nothing to prove. I'm a better brother than that!"
HOOKER-ESQUE: "Dang, Skinny---he broke on you!"
As if anyone who would suggest tying animals together would back down from that. Anyway, it worked in this case: Waynehead and Tripod depart, both with their heads held high.
WAYNEHEAD (to Tripod): "...Blues Man was right, even though you have three legs, and I've got a big shoe, we don't have to prove anything. I guess it doesn't matter if we're different, 'cause when you look at it, everybody's different! And the good thing is, a lot of the time nobody really cares"
Simplistic (yet well-intentioned) message notwithstanding, it's certain Mr. Katzenberg still cares. He emerges from nowhere and snatches Tripod.
...And is it just me or does Katzenberg vaguely resemble the bookkeeper from Disney's Beauty and the Beast? ...Sorry---mind's wandering. :P
KATZENBERG: "Got ya! Oh, boy!"
Wrapping up, Katzenberg explains that, after reviewing the store's surveillance tape (which includes footage of Katzenberg French-kissing his sister-in-law), he admits the bullies's dog was responsible for the damage.
KATZENBERG: "I am sorry, little mutt, with the three legs"
Tripod's freedom is assured when Katzenberg decides to adopt him ...a fact which leaves me uncertain whether this episode in fact has a happy ending, but ...I'm just glad it's ending. :3
WAYNEHEAD: "Dang, Mr. Katzenberg---this is all good! I misjudged you!"
When did you judge him, Waynehead? You have it reversed!
KATZENBERG: "Yeah, well, we all misjudge people sometimes---like the dog catcher thinking this little fellow had fleas *chuckles*"
WAYNEHEAD (to Tripod): "Well,at least you have a home now.
