Everything began in a crowded, indoor stadium. The room was dark with a glowing red boxing ring in the center. Lights flashed, the crowd cheered, and a tiny hamster popped up on center stage. “Whoooo’s ready to watch some hot animals in action?”
From center stage came a group of colorful dancing rodents, shaking their tails to the tunes that energized the room. As they hopped into the boxing ring, the hamster joined the harem, and everyone stripped down to colorful bowties and matching bottoms. Their outfits were a rainbow of colors, from bright red to dark blue, complete with shining sparkles.
While some audience members tried not to watch, others couldn’t look away. There was a tiny dancing rodent for everyone’s tastes - from thick to thin, slim to strong, feminine to masculine and androgynous too. Some rodents had gorgeous, fluttering eyelashes, others had cute nerdy glasses. The audience debated their favorites as the cameras captured every angle.
“Don your gloves and drop your pants, it’s time to do the boxer dance~♪” The rodents bounced their bodies happily together as the audience sang along. “Raise up your tails, your paws, and your snout~ Jump on your partner ‘til they start to shout~♪”
When the song wrapped up, their colorful outfits flew into the air and the giggling group dashed off the stage - all but one.
“Sorry that had to end - but it’s not quite what we’re here for.” The tiny, chubby hamster in the boxing ring proudly apologized. “Well, sort of. Boxer Beats is a competition where hot animals bounce around on stage - but they’re here to fight! ...With less violence, and more silly antics.”
“That’sh right, Oxshnard!” A small beaver climbed up onto the boxing ring beside Oxnard, she had the bushiest cheeks and excessive fuzz growing out all over her body. “Regular punching and fishting like you’d shee in normal boxshing matchesh won’t happen here sho much - theshe boxshersh are gonna go through challengesh sho we can really shee who’sh the besht!”
The crowd went a little quiet - the beaver’s bushy cheeks and big tooth made her a little hard to understand. The hammy host didn’t allow for silence and busted right in, “So, that means a lot of weird fights ahead! Are you all ready!?” The crowd could understand that and started cheering again.
Oxnard put his arm around his beaver co-host, Bushy, as the two started walking off stage. “Then let’s get going. Iiiincoming~!”
“I knew it, they could barely undershtand me, Oxshnard.”
“Oh, don’t worry, Bushy. They’ll get ya!”
“I shouldn’t be here. I’m shorry. Maybe I should jusht shit out.”
“Please tell me you turned off your microphone...”
