Ahh, E3. It has it's many ups and, uh... many downs when promoting or holding conferences to Video Games and the public. Some are successes that lived up to the hype and buildup and some just fade away into obscurity or just seemed too stupid to be real. Here are some embarrassing moments from E3 that I could remember or scrounge up.
1: Jamie Kennedy's Stand Up Routine
Yes, that was an actual thing. All the way back in... 2007, Activision wanted to liven things up with their presentations as they hired Jamie Kennedy to do his stuff. Unaware that his reputation is pretty much dirt thanks to starring in shitty movies and media, most notably, Son of the Mask. ... I will never touch it with a fifty foot pole. Anyways, he showed up completely drunk. Like, he was literally drink, slurring and always stumbling his words sometimes, had trouble sitting in spot sometimes and made very crude and insulting "jokes".
Here are some of the worst he's ever told to the audience.
“I just wanna say that this place is the only place that makes the guys at Comic-Con look like Ocean’s 13.”
“So I wanna ask you about the name of your company, Neversoft…it’s weird…is it a bunch of programmers walking around with hard-ons?”
“The game is called “Friend or Foe”…like Foe what? Foe sheezy?”
"So I heard you virgins haven´t got laid yet...are you Nerds?"
Needless to say, it completely backfired as not only did he insult many gamers and fans, but also the gaming community in general. They have never repeated this incident ever again. Yeah, he's kind of an asshole. Actually, that's an understatement. Douchebag is more appropriate. The rest of his so-called "jokes" are rather lame in comparison. He was rightfully mocked, heckled and ridiculed by the public and has never appeared at E3 ever again. Good fucking riddance. What the hell was Activision thinking? And I already found my answer, they didn't think at all.
2: Mortal Kombat at E3 1995
Ah, the very first time this convention was held and many great games were here. Including the popular series starting right off the bat, Mortal Kombat. Most specifically, Mortal Kombat 3. However... while the game is great much like it's past predecessors, the actual presentation is a fucking joke. Oh my God, where do I even begin? We have these people in costumes of the characters, performing fight moves and choreography on stage with cheesy 90's music in the background. And it just goes downhill from here.
I have a question, what the hell does this have anything to do with Mortal Kombat 3? What is all of this? Is this building up to the game or making merchandise? I have no clue what's even happening right now! To make matters worse, the press representative is babbling utter nonsense and looking like a complete jackass who has no clue what he's even talking about. Especially this sentence: "To make sure this MEGA event is also a MEGA success for retailers, Williams is tagging up this product release with the most comprehensive, fully integrated marketing program in the industry's history."
What in the fuck is this guy going off about? Why is he saying mega like that? This isn't for fucking Megaman, this is Mortal Kombat! I have no idea what he's babbling about but it's utter nonsense. Yeah... not exactly a good first impression for Midway here. But oh well, E3 would get better... or worse, later on. Jesus... we've come a long way.
3: Mr. Caffeine
Oh Good Lord Almighty, this guy was like a living Meme. But in a bad way. His stage name is Mr. Caffeine, no doubt his gimmick is being hyperactive and cah-razy! ... Sorry. His real name is Aaron Priceman and he showed up on E3 in Ubisoft's press conference. I see they have literally learned nothing since the Jamie Kennedy incident.
He was brought on stage and in the convention for Ubisoft's 25th anniversary for the entire company. Suffice to say, this whole stunt ended in complete failure. This guy is even worse than Jamie Kennedy when he was drunk off his ass, crazy, I know. His jokes and attempt at humor is so bad, a 5-year old can outdo him.
He usually talks about games, certain media and whatever in his act. And they all suck. Here are some lines here.
"doodly doodly doop". A sound effect complete with gif of a time traveling effect. Yes, seriously.
"And this absolutely epic fail right here. Yikes!" "Poop on your toothpaste" "Yes, I'm not afraid of a few dick jokes" And he always says Tom Clancy's name as "Tom Cuh-lancy".
The audience reaction was negative and dead silence. Nobody made a sound. This was even more of an embarrassment than Jamie Kenndy's standup routine. And he was drunk. Aaron Priceman was sober. ... At least... I think he was. It's hard to tell, honestly. It didn't last very long and he was kicked out. Nowadays, he's mostly known in certain circles as the "Doodly doodly poop" guy. Doodly doodly poop, indeed.
4: Battle Tag... Seriously, WTF?
God, where do I start with this? The entire presentation was so weird and nonsensical. Okay, so the game is made by Ubisoft and they decided to equip the models and developers with some gear for the game and harnesses for some reason and just create chaos on the auditorium stage. Much to everyone's absolute confusion. Was this the advertisement for the game they made or has everyone gone and not take their pills?
Long story short, it was a fucking disaster and some journalists and people had no words to describe the absolute mess that was Battle Tag. Yeah... I've got nothing.
5: Big Red Button Eexective walks by and overhears Sonic Boom Rise of Lyric being sucky and average. Whoops.
Before the whole ProJared scandal and cheating thing, he reviewed and played a game at E3 by Big Red Button called Sonic Boom Rise of Lyric for the Nintendo WiiU. It sucked and it was boring. It was also annoying since the characters in gameplay never shut the fuck up. As ProJared summed up his thoughts in some E3 footage, right behind him within earshot and doing some business on his phone, was one of the developers and producers of the game. Whoops.
Maybe they got the message in Sonic Boom Fire and Ice? Maybe? I dunno. But yeah, that was horribly timed.
And that's it, some of the most embarrassing and cringeworthy things at E3 I could find. I'm sure there are many horror stories and dumb blunders out there, but God damn. This was... magical. Simply magical.
