Chapter 2: The first crush (Age 15)
Although at this point in my life I knew I was gay it was not something I accepted with ease I always hoped that it was a phase. But that all changed when I meet Steve. The school decided to merge the three classes into two so he joined my class. I actually fell in love with him the moment I saw him. I had seen cute guys before, practice with couple, but nothing compared to Steve. Steve was just your average fox but from what I saw in gym class he had to be related to a horse. I don’t know what it was about him that I loved so much, perhaps it was his smile or is amazingly red fur or the fact that no matter what he was always in a positive mood. Whatever it was he was the first guy I ever loved and would become the grates regret of my life.
The thing about my school was that everyone knew that Steve was gay although he never confessed it to anyone, you just knew, so nobody really talked to him besides me and I was never to good at talking to him because I was always so nervous around him. Come to think about it I’m sure he knew but didn’t say anything, probably because I used to look like … … well I was rather fat, let’s just leave it at that. Another reason I didn’t act on my feeling was fear, I was a social outcast at school and to a degree I still am, but that is a different story. Being openly gay would have completely isolated me from everyone else and I already got into enough trouble beating up those that picked on me. There is one thing I will never understand. What compels some animals to piss off someone that is twice their size and can eat them for lunch? Too bad the school had a no student shall eat another student policy because then no one would have dared to pick on me.
But back to the point. Since I was really the only one that talked to Steve we became friends. He showed me a whole new side of life that I had no idea that existed. He showed me the beauty of nature that I had been blind to. We shared a lot of special moments and to a degree you could say we were dating. If you imagine your perfect first date but cut out alls kissing and the like, that is what our relationship was like. I guess that was enough for us this fake romantic relationship. To me it was what made me want to live. I was completely contempt to just stay in that relationship forever. But then time fucked everything up. High school happened and we went to different once so we stared seeing less and less of each other and for 6 months we didn’t see each other at all.
That time we didn’t speak made me realize that I was in love with him and the 6 month period actually ended when I showed up at his doorstep and confessed my sexuality and feelings. But I was too late. In those six months he started to date a dog and later they got married so I lost my chance.
Fun facts
The story is set in Iceland. In the Icelandic education system elementary school is 6-16, high school is 17-20 and collage/university is 20+ you get your driver’s license at age 17 but you can’t legally own a car until your 18. The legal drinking age is 20 but after you turn 18 the cops can’t do nothing if you’re drunk and the age of consent is 16, used to be 14 but after that made international news the age was changed and since this is a gay story a fun gay fact the prime minister of Iceland is a lesbian.